WEBVTT

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I wonder if you gentlemen could tell me where I could find

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Mr. Gustafson? No, Gustafson, no, no, sorry. Mr.

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John Gustafson? That's right.

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Uh, oh yeah, you mean the

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lowlife, asswipe, egg sucker John Gustafson?

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Have you seen him? Man's crazy, loco,

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always hanging out around those kinky strip bars.

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You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off? Oh, for God's sake.

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That's, of course, if he's taken his medication.

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Medication? Yes, without it, he could be anywhere,

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wandering around, talking to the trees. Believe me, this man is

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a menace. He's always drinking, starting fights. Isn't that right?

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But have you seen him? No.

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I think perhaps Um,

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no, no, no. If you

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see him, would you give him this and tell him he must contact Mr.

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Snyder as soon as possible? Snyder. Snyder.

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That's me. It's important. Important.

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Yes, sir. We'll tell him when we see him.

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It's 2 Dads 1 Movie. It's the podcast where 2 middle-aged dads sit around and

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shoot the shit about The movies

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of the '80s and '90s. Here are your hosts, Steve Paulo

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and Nic Briana. Hello everybody, welcome to

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another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. And today we

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are moving into a whole new theme month. It's November. Welcome to November,

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everyone. This month is Feast Mode here

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at 2 Dads 1 Movie. We are going to be doing Thanksgiving movies, that tried

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and true— there's a thousand to choose from. Everybody thinks of Thanksgiving movies as like

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You know, what are Christmas— nobody goes to Christmas movies. Thanksgiving movies are where it's

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at. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So we had thousands of people from— The Hallmark Thanksgiving Channel

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they have on cable. Exactly. 25 Days of Thanksgiving on ABC Family

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or whatever. Yeah. So we were doing Thanksgiving movies this month and we're starting

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off with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men.

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Nic, you picked this for us. Yeah. What's your history, if any, with Grumpy

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Old Men? No history. Yeah. Like I said, I was struggling

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hard, man. This top, for whatever reason, I was just like,

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Nothing popped into my head as a Thanksgiving movie, so I just searched like,

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"What's a Thanksgiving movie?" And this was one that that showed

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up, and I was like, "I've actually never seen that before." Okay. And I really

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like you know what I've been into lately is I watched a couple times in

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the last few years is the taking of Pelham One Two Three with

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Walter Matthau. Fucking rules! Like totally different vibe in

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the movie, but I'm but I'm like these guys are great. Like these old actors

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are great. I don't give them enough credit again as a kid. I have these

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biases of things that are old or things that are black and white. Things that

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star old people are not good, and they're not for me. Well, guess what?

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I'm a fucking old person now, and it's time to check this out.

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So I'd never seen this before, but I thought this would be great to see

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a few actors we haven't seen that we love very much, and also just like

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to bring a family-friendly vibe after the last few very,

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very disturbing you know picks in the last several, especially coming

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from me. You've read this. So so yeah, how about

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you, Steve? You've seen this one before. Yeah, this was one I actually saw several

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times in the nineties, like as a high schooler. I was big. I was a

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big Jack Lemmon fan. I had seen and loved the original Odd Couple movie

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after watching The Odd Couple TV show with Tony Randall and Jack Klugman on Nick

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at Nite a bunch and like enjoying just the whole, you know, Felix and Oscar

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sort of back and forth. Yeah. And then my mom was like, you know,

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at some point was like, oh, you know, that was a movie. I'm like,

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what? Watched the movie, loved it. I saw Some Like It Hot in high

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school, you know? So I just got into a Jack Lemmon sort of thing where

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I just thought he was a very funny guy and really appreciated Jack Lemmon in

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particular. And so when this came out, like, I don't think I saw this in

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the theater or anything like that, but I think this was one like my parents

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rented, you know, at one point, and we all sat down to watch together.

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And, you know, I just really enjoyed it. And I remember watching it several times

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as a kid. I don't think I've seen it in like 25 or 30 years

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at this point. Oh, nice. So it'd been a long, long time, but like I

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have positive sort of memories of this movie. Nothing in particular,

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like no bit of it that like really stood out so much as, oh yeah,

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I remember that movie. That's a really enjoyable movie. Yeah, exactly. You know, kind of

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thing. And so I was really excited when you put it on the list.

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I was like, oh cool, I get to watch Grumpy Old Men again. in a

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while. And so, yeah, but this was definitely one that I enjoyed back,

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back in the day. So, and we are getting older, Nic, but, you know,

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Lemmon and Matthau were in their 60s and 70s, so we're not quite there yet

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for this one. But let's jump into— I'm gonna go grumpy for grumpy with both

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of them. Fair enough. Absolutely. Let's jump into the facts on the movie Grumpy Old

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Men. It was released on Christmas Day, 1993, with a PG rating and

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a running time of 103 minutes, directed by Donald Petrie and

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written by Mark Steven Johnson. It stars Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, and Ann-Margret.

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Scores, we got Rotten Tomatoes, 67% on Rotten Tomatoes. So fresh,

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but like near the bottom of the fresh sort of scale. IMDb 7.0,

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exactly on that borderline between like good and not so good. And then

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from the 2 grumpy old men themselves, Siskel and Ebert, we get 2 thumbs down.

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This was not one that they enjoyed. The general populace disagreed

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with Siskel and Ebert, however, because on a $35 million budget, which like,

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where's $35 million? I mean, I don't know if like the whole ice fishing sequences

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required— Did they film it in LA and they had to create a fake ice

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pond? No, it was actually, I read about this 'cause it was not Actually filmed

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in Wabasha, which is a real small town. It was, but in but in certain

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neighborhoods in Saint Paul, so it was filmed up in Minnesota. But yeah,

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thirty-five million dollar budget. I don't know if Lemon and Mathow took home big paychecks

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or something or what. Yeah, but it did make seventy million at the box office,

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and for this kind of a little family-friendly picture that that clearly

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isn't meant to to appeal to children in any way,

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it's an interesting take. And and so to pull in double what it costed,

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and it did spawn a sequel. And actually, I think Mathow and Lemon did like.

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4 more movies together after this, whereas it had been 15-plus years

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since they'd been in something, uh, to this point. So it really kind of gave

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both of them another sort of spark to their careers as well. And I love

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seeing the, the certain actors that just play so well off each other that make,

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you know, the Gene Wilder and, uh, Richard Pryor. And like, so it's

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great to see them like, yeah, re-spark their relationship and, and make more

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after that. Absolutely. Yeah, very good stuff. Uh, all right, this was your pick.

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I'm gonna let you kick it off. How does Grumpy Old Men start? All right,

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so Grumpy Old Men, we kind of got a lot of like snowy establishing shots.

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Like you said, we're in Minnesota and, um, we've,

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uh, you know, just shown this little small town, looks very, very quaint,

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uh, and we're introduced to Jack Lemmon who is, uh,

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John Gustafson. Yes, right. And, um, and then

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next door to him, or across the street, next door to him is, uh,

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Max Goldman who's played by Walter Matthau. That's right. And they

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obviously don't like each other, you know, from the very beginning.

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Uh, we see that, uh, Gustafson has like a

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30-day like levy notice. Yeah. Uh, well, there's a— because there's

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a door, there's a guy at his door, this guy knocking or whatever, right?

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Oh, that's right, he's trying to avoid this guy. And this guy, this is an

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IRS, uh, representative of some kind played by Buck Henry,

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famous actor, writer, comedian who wrote The Graduate, won an Oscar for that.

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So again, this is a movie— I think we kind of mentioned it at the

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end of last week's This is a movie where like everybody in this movie is

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somebody. Like there's not really an unrecognizable face. If you're familiar with some

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of that, maybe a little more niche, like Buck Henry's a little niche, but like

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everybody in this movie is somebody, it feels like, and including him.

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And so yeah, he is trying to get ahold of Mr. Gustafson or whatever,

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and he's knocking on the door and Jack, you know, John, I'm gonna fuck up

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and call them by their actors' names over and over again, but John sneaks out

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like an upper window and is able to get safely down, which is like dangerous.

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Dude's in his 60s. He should not be on a snow-covered roof, but he's able

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to get down and he goes around the back of his house where he runs

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into Max. And it's like every time see each other, it's, it's moron,

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butts, like, you know, just like constantly, which is great, or idiot or whatever.

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That's a lot of fun. And the IRS, uh, agent comes up to both of

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them and he, and he asks Max, he's like, do you know John Gustafson?

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And Max kind of knows a little bit what's up. He at least knows like,

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yeah, yeah, oh, you're avoiding this guy. He's like, oh, you mean the lowlife?

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You mean that? It's just like running up and his voice is so

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funny. I mean, the way that Walter Matthau talks is just He goes

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to those kinky strip clubs where the men take their clothes off. You know those

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ones? Yeah, John Gustafson's a real piece of work.

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Uh, so, so that's a great way to introduce these 2

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guys, right? But sure enough, the guy just leaves their card, leaves his card like,

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hey, it's very important that Mr. Gustafson calls me. It's like, oh, okay, sure,

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we'll let him know, you know, kind of thing. Uh, and they see that there's

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a new neighbor moving across the street, moving truck and all this stuff. So they

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see some, some action across the street. And the kind of jokes in this movie

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I think are perfectly represented by what happens at one point here where they're watching

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and this big statue, big, it looks like made out of wood or something,

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gets pulled out of this truck and they're both like, whoa, kind of thing.

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And then we're looking at Jack Lemmon's face and he goes, Jesus.

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And there's a painting of Jesus that's coming. It's like, that's the kind of joke

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that is throughout this entire movie. Yeah. It's like little gag things,

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little moments like that. If that's your jam, you can enjoy this.

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If you get irritated by that kind of like observational, kind of like weird little

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moment humor, it's not probably gonna land. This is not like a laugh out loud

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funny movie. This is like a— No. This is like a— like, I think I

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chuckled like 100 times. Like, it's a, like, a pleasant evening

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with your parents movie. Yes, exactly. Like, you enjoy it with family and everything.

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Yeah. Um, so now we're that night, right? And, and they're awakened

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by some noise. Uh, one of them looks at the clock, we see it's like

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1:44 in the morning. And then we see out the window,

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supposedly the new neighbor flying around on their

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snowmobile, uh, which is the dirt bike of the tundra, which is kind of the

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official vehicle of cold weather crime. The official vehicle of— By the transit of property.

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That's true. So, uh, so the

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snowmobile and doing all these crazy tricks and everything, and then the person gets off

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and takes the helmet off and we see that it's this beautiful woman. Oh,

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hubba hubba, who moved in across the street, who's snowmobiling at 2 AM.

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Yeah, and she, she's, uh, Ann-Margret plays her, and, uh, the character's

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name— well, literally the character's name is Ariel. Um, I think she's probably meant to

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be in like her early to mid-50s. She's definitely younger than these guys, but she's

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pretty age-appropriate, right? She's not like a young woman, right? So, so that's cool.

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But yeah, she's gorgeous and she, she looks great. She's got this bright red hair.

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You know, and she was like— there's a connection here

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between this movie and Do the Right Thing, actually, which is that the

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inspiration for Rosie Perez's dancing montage at the beginning of Do the Right Thing

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was actually Bye Bye Birdie, when Ann-Margret does the dance at the beginning of

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that movie in the credits. And so there's a little connection here between those 2

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movies. But yeah, so Ann-Margret, you know, sex symbol of the '60s.

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And yeah, she is great casting. Great. Okay, so to

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continue the Do the Right Thing thread, because I have 2 more Do the Right

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Thing things here. So, uh, so the next morning, right, we've got,

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uh, we've got Max and John who are out at their cars, and it seems

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like they, they have kind of similar days every day. Like, you wake up,

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you go to the ice fishing. They're retired, you know. They're retired and they're up,

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and this is, uh, Jack or

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John. Yeah, I know, it's gonna be hard. Scraping the ice off the windshield.

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Yeah. He's doing a worse job than Pino was trying to slice

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the pizza at Sal's Pizzeria. And again, I fully understand it.

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It's the same reason that you never see them like satisfactorily

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wipe blood off their face or whatever. It's hard to recreate the icy windshield

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for prop purposes. Multiple takes. But it's really funny. He's just kind of like waving

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at it. It's really half-assed. And then the first place they

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go right after that is to the bait shop slash diner

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slash, you know, general store thing run by one of our favorites,

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Ossie Davis there. Love it. Chuck is his name.

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Yeah, yeah. So we get back-to-back-to-back little Do

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the Right Thing references. That's good stuff. Right before they leave the front of the

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house, they're like— I wrote down, just because I wrote down a few lines when

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they made me laugh, but like Walter Matthau saying, eat my shorts. It's just very

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funny. And then John says something about, Jesus,

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Quincy Adams. And I just thought that was a funny fucking way to swear.

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Like, Jesus, Quincy Adams. It's funny. But basically,

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they're gonna go— yes, they go to the— I think the Quincy Adams add-on is

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kind of like the Electric Boogaloo add-on of the early '70s. In the early

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1800s, that was their way to, like, say that something was a sequel. Simple emphasis.

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Yeah. You know, I used to say Jesus tap dancing Christ. It's the same kind

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of thing, you know? Yeah. But yeah, so then, so we go to the little

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shop and, like, John is there to buy bait and he's,

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like, complaining about how expensive the bait is and it's 75 cents, it's worms.

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And Chuck's like, yeah, dude, it's the middle of winter. Like, there's no worms around,

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dude. Yeah. There's supply and demand. And so, and then so he goes to,

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John buys some beer and some bait and he goes out to Muskeville,

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which is the ice fishing sort of shanty village that everybody has here in

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the winter. Looks awesome, by the way. Amazing. I want to go.

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So shout out to a friend of ours, friend of the show,

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Jeff Harrow. Lives out in Minnesota. Does go ice fishing frequently.

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Jeff, I want to go ice fishing with you. Let's find a time because I

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really would love to do that. I like to wear shorts everywhere I go,

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so I can't. I'll let you guys just, you know. But he's— so the way

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that these, these shanties are, they're all kind of like very shack-like, very kind

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of Homemade looking almost, or just like storage shed from Home Depot.

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He's told me that people have insane setups, right? So it would be

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like, like a 30-foot trailer, like you'd camp in. Oh my God,

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with a little hole. So it's heated and it's got TVs on the

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wall and like a beer tap and all that. So people go insane with

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that. You just basically have a mansion that you could tow around that has a

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hole in the bottom you can fish through. All right. Fantastic. I'm in. I'm in.

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And, uh, and one of the people who's kind of at the fishing village in

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his little shack is, uh, is John's dad, Mr.

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Gustafson, who's, you know, in his 90s. I think he mentions

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at some point he's 96 or something crazy. It's Burgess Meredith, right?

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We love— you can't not love Burgess Meredith. The guy's amazing.

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And, and he's establishing himself as the pervy old man here.

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So, uh, so John's like, oh yeah, this, uh, this new lady

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moved in across the street. He's like, did you mount her? Which for some

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reason, out of an old guy, you're just kind of— you want to pat him

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on the head and be like, oh. But I gotta be honest, like,

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mount is both like in no way a swear or like, or like whatever,

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but also like the dirtiest fucking way to say that in some ways. It's really

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bad. But it's, it's— we are— we have to establish dirty old man.

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There's grumpy old men in, in Matthau and Lemon, and then there's dirty old man

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in Burgess Meredith. And so that's the little difference there. But basically it's just,

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you know, they go ice fishing and it's just kind of quick. We see Oh,

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uh, uh, Max mentions this, this, uh, uh, uh, his fishing rod called the Green

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Hornet. It's like this little— It looks like the shittiest fishing rod. Oh yeah,

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looks like a toy. Little tiny kid's rod that should— yeah, that should have Elsa

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on it. Right, exactly. And magnets to catch the fake fish. Exactly.

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But he says, you know, he's like, this is the most reliable. I've had this

14:50.640 --> 14:53.700
for, you know, decades. Catches more every time. Like, yep. And so they get back

14:54.200 --> 14:57.780
to the houses and of course, yes, Max has 7 or 8 fish on his,

14:58.280 --> 15:00.760
on his like line. And, you know, John's got 2. John's just got a couple

15:01.260 --> 15:03.880
little guys. And he says, well, I throw back whatever I don't. Eat, you know,

15:04.380 --> 15:07.360
and he's like, "Yeah, right, sure." So John goes, and apparently Max left his door

15:07.860 --> 15:09.940
unlocked. So he goes and he throws one of the fish like into the back

15:10.440 --> 15:13.580
underneath the seats in Max's car, and that is not going to go well.

15:14.080 --> 15:15.910
No, that's definitely gross.

15:17.260 --> 15:21.060
So Ariel comes over from across the street to introduce

15:21.560 --> 15:25.580
herself. She comes to John's house, yes, and is pretty like

15:26.080 --> 15:29.000
I would be like, you know what? You're not coming over here after this because

15:29.500 --> 15:32.140
she just comes and starts like poking around in his house. Well, but first she

15:32.640 --> 15:33.280
he not she knocks on the door. He doesn't know who's knocking on the door,

15:33.780 --> 15:37.440
so he thinks it's the. IRS guy again. He goes climbing out the window again,

15:37.940 --> 15:41.520
and this time falls off the roof, luckily into powdered, you know, fresh snow.

15:42.020 --> 15:43.940
And that's when he sees that it's Ariel. And he's, you know, she's like,

15:44.440 --> 15:46.440
oh, can I come in? And he goes, yeah, can I help you? She's like,

15:46.940 --> 15:49.340
yeah, I just came to use the bathroom. And he's like, okay, sure, it's over

15:49.840 --> 15:52.580
there. Oh, no, no, no. You can find out so much about somebody by looking

15:53.080 --> 15:56.560
through their bathroom. And I'm thinking to myself, this is horrific. Horrific that

15:57.060 --> 15:59.140
you would come and just be like, I'm gonna go through your bathroom. Like,

15:59.640 --> 16:02.720
no, you're not. Hell no. Good Lord. I don't want anyone who comes to my

16:03.220 --> 16:05.080
house, I don't want you to comment on anything in the house or look at

16:05.580 --> 16:09.250
anything. Eyes front, have fucking blinders on, eat, talk to me, and then leave.

16:09.670 --> 16:13.170
I don't want to hear commentary about my bathroom. It's terrible.

16:13.670 --> 16:17.010
And she also like took his mail. Right. Yes. Right. And she's

16:17.510 --> 16:19.530
like looking through his mail. And I was like, that's how I'm gonna learn about

16:20.030 --> 16:23.270
you. Very invasive. But he's just like, hey, there's a lady over here, whatever.

16:23.770 --> 16:27.730
She's kind of interesting. We find out that she, uh, she teaches American literature

16:28.230 --> 16:31.910
at the school nearby, and she's come from California. This is an era they— this

16:32.410 --> 16:36.800
movie has a very John McClane view of fucking California.

16:38.380 --> 16:41.700
And first, she makes a suction cup Garfield reference, which I really

16:42.200 --> 16:45.380
enjoy. Yeah, it's good. It's like, hey man, you guys are looking out your windows

16:45.880 --> 16:50.700
like that was the big— that was our 6/7.

16:51.200 --> 16:54.640
What movie is it where there's one on the outside? Oh, L.A. Story. Steve Martin's

16:55.140 --> 16:57.800
car, the Garfield is on the outside of the rear window. So as he's like

16:58.300 --> 17:00.760
driving wildly, it's like kind of like moving a little bit and it's looking in

17:01.260 --> 17:04.470
on him. Oh man, that's what we'll have to do later. And she asked him

17:04.970 --> 17:07.630
and puts him off by this question. She's like, are you hetero or homo?

17:08.130 --> 17:11.950
Right. And he's like, well, why? It's like, just answer

17:12.450 --> 17:15.650
the question, bro. It's not that hard. But of course the insinuation is that she,

17:16.150 --> 17:19.050
you know, she should know. Right. Because he's a dude. You didn't see me yet.

17:19.550 --> 17:22.040
This is Minnesota. Yeah. I guess like whatever.

17:23.470 --> 17:26.650
So yeah, the next day they're at the drugstore and

17:27.150 --> 17:30.570
Max and John are sharing, you know, trading back and forth whose ailments

17:31.070 --> 17:33.929
are worse. You got lumbago and I got sciatica. and I got this, I got

17:34.429 --> 17:37.766
that, and whatever. And then she shows up and she says—

17:37.959 --> 17:41.137
Ariel says, oh, first of all, she's got herbal something or other that she's waiting

17:41.153 --> 17:44.750
to get picked up. And the druggist is like giving her eyes with apparently his

17:44.862 --> 17:48.233
wife or somebody next to him. Yes. Yeah, it's very kind of, whoa,

17:48.715 --> 17:51.894
this chick is like really turning heads in this little town. But she's got some

17:52.327 --> 17:55.907
tea tree herbal something or other that she's picking up from California,

17:55.923 --> 17:59.391
has been sent from California, all this stuff. It's fucking wild. Um,

17:59.536 --> 18:02.137
and she tells Max, oh, they delivered some of your mail to my address by

18:02.637 --> 18:04.640
accident. Mistake, which is like Max has lived in that house,

18:05.650 --> 18:08.810
we're told, probably for something like 50 years. Like, there's no

18:09.310 --> 18:12.610
way the mailman comes to his house every other Thanksgiving.

18:12.870 --> 18:15.860
Like, the mailman is the kid of Max's old mailman.

18:16.400 --> 18:20.880
Like, it's like a generational mailman thing.

18:22.050 --> 18:25.170
Um, where they're, they're having this conversation

18:25.670 --> 18:29.210
about like who's got the worst ailment. Yeah, it's very funny. Earlier when they're scrape—

18:29.710 --> 18:32.410
not scraping their windshields, they're having a conversation about what would be the best way

18:32.910 --> 18:36.150
to die. Yeah, yeah. So This movie, I think, was one of the

18:36.650 --> 18:39.510
first— and these things have kind of become cliché of like, oh, that's what old

18:40.010 --> 18:43.130
people talk about— but to see it on screen, I think, yeah, this was like

18:43.630 --> 18:46.670
a disregarded part of the population. Like, yeah, you were just supposed to get pushed

18:47.170 --> 18:50.350
off a cliff when you turned 70. So it was like very

18:50.850 --> 18:54.170
interesting to see this perspective here. Totally. Yeah. And they agree, you know, going in

18:54.670 --> 18:57.890
your sleep, something quick, you know. Uh, somebody said something like,

18:58.390 --> 19:00.350
oh, you know, this is what got him. Oh, that's not slow, or that's not

19:00.850 --> 19:02.910
quick, like a stroke. And then Max is like, a stroke's not quick. And Jack's

19:03.410 --> 19:04.430
like— John's like, oh, give me a cardiac anytime, you know, kind of thing.

19:04.930 --> 19:08.190
All of a sudden they're just Just a little foreshadowing. But you

19:08.690 --> 19:10.630
know, like, so they're just going back and forth with that stuff, which is so

19:11.130 --> 19:14.239
funny. But now we're gonna move ahead. Oh, sorry, real quick.

19:14.410 --> 19:17.280
Yeah, yeah. The pharmacist? Yes. That guy, I was like, I know that face.

19:17.790 --> 19:21.270
I know, yeah. Mathnet. Yes! Did you ever watch that? Yes, yes,

19:21.770 --> 19:25.230
yes, you're absolutely right. So I was like, what was that called? I was like,

19:25.730 --> 19:28.850
I knew it was like some fake cop show that was like a PBS— Yeah,

19:29.350 --> 19:32.230
yeah, yeah, detectives or something, but it was math, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking—

19:32.280 --> 19:35.790
And I think he was like Agent Monday or something, they changed the name slightly.

19:36.190 --> 19:38.290
So shout out to MastNet. There you go.

19:39.000 --> 19:42.300
So Jack is now— I think we're

19:42.800 --> 19:46.720
meeting the kids. Yeah, Jack and John. I was gonna say Gustafson, Gus dog,

19:47.220 --> 19:50.440
the Gusinator. So John is

19:50.940 --> 19:54.560
at home now with his daughter. Yes, right. Who's there to visit, and she's got

19:55.060 --> 19:58.900
a kid. So he's a grandfather, and Daryl Hannah is his daughter Mel, and she's

19:59.400 --> 20:02.420
kind of talking about like her and her husband are separating. Yeah, like it's not

20:02.920 --> 20:04.960
going well. Yeah. Yeah, 'cause he says to me like, oh, people ask, I tell

20:05.460 --> 20:05.970
them you and Mike are doing great, you know, whatever. And she's like, yeah,

20:06.470 --> 20:08.990
Mike and I are not doing great. And he goes, yeah, I kind of figured.

20:09.100 --> 20:13.220
And so they talk a little bit and he does a really classic older person

20:13.720 --> 20:17.220
thing, which is tries to like make the conversation an example of like what

20:17.720 --> 20:19.400
he did or whatever. Like, oh yeah, I know Mike's not around a lot.

20:19.900 --> 20:21.740
I was never around. And she's like, we're talking about me, Dad. Like, stop it.

20:22.240 --> 20:24.320
Which is very like kind of boomer coded, even though I know obviously Jacqueline is

20:24.820 --> 20:27.090
much older than a boomer, but like, you know, it's kind of the same style.

20:27.580 --> 20:31.180
Yeah. They're having that conversation while at the same time, Jacob, who is

20:31.680 --> 20:35.190
Max's son, played by Kevin Pollak, comes over. to bring him

20:35.690 --> 20:40.360
lawn signs, 'cause Max, or Jacob rather, is running for mayor of Wabasha.

20:40.470 --> 20:43.430
And so he's got these big, you know, Max Goldman, or excuse me,

20:43.930 --> 20:47.590
Jacob Goldman for mayor, all this stuff. And, you know, like Max

20:48.090 --> 20:49.360
is like, no, no, come on in, come on in, you gotta do this thing.

20:49.520 --> 20:53.310
So I guess this may be after Mel left because I know John sits down,

20:53.810 --> 20:57.070
I fucking do John and Jack constantly. John sits down to watch like the Powerball.

20:57.170 --> 21:00.430
Yes. Right? And so he's sitting down, he's got like a little

21:00.930 --> 21:03.670
TV dinner kind of microwave thing or whatever it is. And he's sitting down and

21:04.170 --> 21:07.390
he's got his little, tickets that he bought, you know, he's gonna win $6.5

21:07.890 --> 21:11.130
million or whatever it is. And Max has a basket

21:11.630 --> 21:14.650
full of remote controls. And I remember having a lot of remote controls in the

21:15.150 --> 21:17.510
house, like when we were younger, because, you know, my dad was sort of an

21:18.010 --> 21:20.330
audiophile. Like I said, we've had like LaserDiscs. So you'd have like, you got the

21:20.830 --> 21:23.210
VCR remote, the LaserDisc remote, the TV remote. There'd be like a stereo, like whatever.

21:23.270 --> 21:26.030
It'd be all, everything had to have its own. Like nothing, there was no universal

21:26.530 --> 21:29.470
remote back in like the '80s and early '90s, right? And so he's got all

21:29.970 --> 21:33.447
these things. And one of them apparently is for, John's TV. Yeah, because he— there's

21:33.495 --> 21:36.764
like an infomercial for a universal remote amount of remotes.

21:36.844 --> 21:39.600
Remember they showed an ad and it's like, are you tired of fumbling? And it's

21:40.100 --> 21:43.669
a person who's like holding beers like Tatum in Scream. That's right.

21:43.813 --> 21:47.419
And with remotes and they're just like falling. So yeah,

21:47.515 --> 21:50.927
love— really great. There is nothing better than the abject stupidity

21:51.040 --> 21:54.917
of the people in infomercials and just the, just the incompetence of anyone

21:55.417 --> 21:59.083
to figure out before the product is always just so idiotic in a wonderful

21:59.115 --> 22:02.780
way. I could— I know there are YouTube channels. Before I had a Magic Bullet,

22:03.280 --> 22:05.750
I just had to run fruit over with my car to make a smoothie.

22:07.360 --> 22:10.740
So fucking funny, man. So ridiculous. How to keep road grit out of your

22:11.240 --> 22:13.460
smoothie, use a Ninja Bullet. Like, fuck, what? Like,

22:13.960 --> 22:17.360
anyway, uh, uh, so this is— yeah, this is a funny scene because they're

22:17.860 --> 22:20.600
standing in the window and they're watching John there who's all excited. And this is

22:21.100 --> 22:24.700
all he has, right? Because he's got this IRS bill. Like, he's just living that

22:25.200 --> 22:28.566
Kirk Van Houten lifestyle. And he was talking earlier about, like,

22:28.711 --> 22:31.115
you know, I throw back all the fish I don't eat. But every time it

22:31.615 --> 22:35.010
shows him eating, he's eating the saddest, like, frozen or pre-prepared meal.

22:35.603 --> 22:38.874
Uh, and he's all excited. And then, you know, they start reading the, the numbers

22:38.970 --> 22:43.009
off, and then Max flips the channel, and John's like, what the fuck? You know?

22:43.074 --> 22:46.520
And it flips it back. So, yeah, great gag and great,

22:46.680 --> 22:50.608
like, great job by Max to just extract whatever

22:51.108 --> 22:53.894
joy he can out of that moment. He's like, oh, this is my favorite part

22:54.394 --> 22:56.715
of the night. But Jacob is like, you're a literal child. Like, his own son

22:57.215 --> 22:59.070
is like, what are you doing? This is ridiculous. Ridiculous. And we get, and we

22:59.570 --> 23:01.150
get a little bit from Max and Jacob here. I'm not gonna go into like

23:01.650 --> 23:03.350
all the details, but a little bit of the backstory of just that like John

23:03.850 --> 23:06.350
and Max have known each other for years. And, and he said something like,

23:06.850 --> 23:09.710
oh yeah, I'm sure John started every fight since 1940. And he goes, 1938.

23:10.210 --> 23:12.500
You know, it's like, that's how long— this is '93, right? So you're talking,

23:12.970 --> 23:16.410
you know, what is that, like 53 years? I mean, that's a crazy amount of

23:16.910 --> 23:19.010
time. 55 years or something, you know. So crazy amount of time that they've been

23:19.510 --> 23:22.550
at each other's throats. And then, uh, when Max goes

23:23.050 --> 23:25.570
to like— or when Jacob's gonna leave— Jacob makes him apologize. That's right. You're gonna

23:26.070 --> 23:28.030
go out to apologize. He opens the door, or the, or the window. That's right,

23:28.530 --> 23:32.153
opens the window. And John's out there with the hose and just sprays into the

23:32.653 --> 23:36.199
house in the freezing cold. Freaking smart. Love it. Oh, man.

23:37.291 --> 23:40.984
So, uh, so now we're at the next morning. Yeah. And we're going out

23:41.484 --> 23:43.521
to do our day again. We're going to ice fish. We're going to get our

23:43.553 --> 23:47.086
bait and all that stuff. And Max gets in the car and— It

23:47.586 --> 23:51.068
stinks. Walter Matthau, just one of the best old man expressive

23:51.180 --> 23:54.889
faces ever. They shot that thing— Oh, like— He

23:55.389 --> 23:58.563
should be the universal icon for something that smells really bad. Yeah, you know,

23:58.579 --> 24:02.301
like Matthau's face in this scene is very good. He's got a very wide,

24:02.317 --> 24:06.104
large, expressive face that he can somehow crunch into like an

24:06.604 --> 24:10.243
inch tall, like really small, tiny face. Oh man, so funny.

24:10.291 --> 24:13.404
So, so he's trying to figure out like what it is and he can't figure

24:13.468 --> 24:16.372
out, you know, what it is. Yeah, yeah, quite yet. Um,

24:16.693 --> 24:19.998
they're at, uh, they're at Chuck's place now. They're talking to Chuck.

24:20.078 --> 24:23.399
So it's Max and John and Chuck and they're sitting there chatting about women.

24:23.770 --> 24:27.380
Yep. And, uh, yeah, and talking about like, uh, uh,

24:27.880 --> 24:30.000
that this girl, this woman moved in and like, or have you guys talked to

24:30.500 --> 24:32.260
her? Like, whatever. Yeah, you know, this stuff. And Chuck's like, y'all are being idiots,

24:32.760 --> 24:36.400
uh, you know, and you, you've got this beautiful woman, you could talk to her,

24:36.900 --> 24:39.740
but instead y'all would rather fight with each other. It's so ridiculous. And, um,

24:40.240 --> 24:44.080
they both invite Chuck over to— for Thanksgiving, uh, for dinner or whatever.

24:44.620 --> 24:47.780
And he says like, oh no, no, I gotta go to the VFW, uh,

24:48.280 --> 24:50.520
you know, the vets hall basically. Expect me every year. Every year I'll be there.

24:50.840 --> 24:53.467
Oh sure, I forgot about that. No big deal. And then And John leaves and

24:53.483 --> 24:56.192
Max kind of comes back and goes like, you know, like, Chuck, do I smell—

24:56.289 --> 24:58.341
like, I smelled it in the car. Like, is it me? And he goes,

24:58.709 --> 25:02.092
yeah, it's you. Yeah. But of course, if now he would smell like whatever was

25:02.140 --> 25:05.891
in the car, for one thing. Like, I gotta say, to be noticeably

25:06.391 --> 25:09.369
smelly in a bait shop. Yeah. Top tier ability.

25:09.978 --> 25:13.104
Um, and, and back in Max's car. Yeah.

25:13.425 --> 25:17.448
To get rid of the smell, referencing one of our movies from Shocktoberfest,

25:17.529 --> 25:20.590
we got all these air fresheners just like in 7. 8 or 9

25:21.090 --> 25:24.470
of them just from the rearview mirror. So many. Like, like in a comparison

25:24.490 --> 25:27.802
of, of like density. Yeah, it's equal to the, to the

25:28.302 --> 25:31.550
room in Seven. But yeah, tons of those little pine, uh,

25:32.050 --> 25:35.110
pine tree air fresheners because the whole place just stinks.

25:35.410 --> 25:38.870
Yeah. Um, and so we're ice fishing, uh, ice fishing

25:39.370 --> 25:42.570
now, and Max, he gets a hold of something. He's got his Green

25:43.070 --> 25:45.650
Hornet, his little rod. He gets a hold of something and it gets pulled.

25:45.750 --> 25:49.200
Well, he, it's like he leaves it like laying on a thing really precariously.

25:49.470 --> 25:52.390
I don't know how this hasn't happened to him before because, because it starts to

25:52.890 --> 25:55.096
rattle. He's like trying to watch the Minnesota University of Minnesota hockey game Oh,

25:55.272 --> 25:58.261
that's right, the TV's like not coming in. So he's— whatever. So, but he looks

25:58.761 --> 26:01.410
over and he can see the, the fishing line or the fishing rod rattle,

26:01.539 --> 26:04.753
and he doesn't just grab it. So by the time he moves, it's already

26:05.253 --> 26:07.147
sort of sliding into the— and sure enough, it falls into the ice hole,

26:07.163 --> 26:10.778
and he goes apoplectic. Like, he is freaking out. He gets a

26:10.923 --> 26:14.313
hatchet and he's trying to like hack into the ice out into the

26:14.554 --> 26:17.912
walkway where everybody is. He's trying to like follow where he thinks it got taken

26:17.928 --> 26:21.608
by the fish. Yeah, so he's losing his mind, man. Yeah. It's pretty,

26:21.624 --> 26:24.645
it's pretty wild. But he does not, he does not get it. He sort of

26:24.677 --> 26:28.308
gives up. Yeah. Uh, but yeah. Um, let's see.

26:28.388 --> 26:31.730
So now we've got— It's Thanksgiving night now, I think. Like Thanksgiving night.

26:31.827 --> 26:35.346
And does Jacob go over to say hello to John and Mel?

26:35.587 --> 26:39.089
No, Jacob, Jacob goes to Max's and then Mel

26:39.202 --> 26:42.190
is at John's. And then I think it's, uh,

26:43.395 --> 26:46.352
they're about to leave or something when the two— because, because basically, uh,

26:46.448 --> 26:49.577
everybody sees Chuck go across the street to Ariel's. That's right.

26:49.801 --> 26:52.784
And so like, oh, he's not at the VFW, like he's seeing Ariel. Oh my

26:53.284 --> 26:56.954
gosh. And then, uh, and Pops is also with, uh, Mel and

26:57.018 --> 27:00.466
John as well. And he says, looks like Chuck's taking old

27:00.966 --> 27:04.122
One-Eye to the optometrist. It's just gross. Uh,

27:04.330 --> 27:08.323
I gotta say, uh, Jack's dad looking a lot like present-day Mitch McConnell

27:08.823 --> 27:11.803
in this too. Like very present. Yeah, yeah,

27:12.348 --> 27:15.780
like right now. Um, yeah, he's taking

27:16.280 --> 27:20.640
the old one-eyed to the optometrist. So funny. And so the next day,

27:21.140 --> 27:24.000
yeah, they, they're at Chuck's again, but they're not like fully confronting him. They kind

27:24.500 --> 27:28.100
of go in and they're like, oh, how was turkey? How was VFW?

27:28.240 --> 27:31.180
Yeah, the boys expected— how was the turkey at the VFW this year,

27:31.680 --> 27:34.660
huh? And they call him out like, we saw you, you went over to Ariel's.

27:34.740 --> 27:37.940
Like, you know, and they basically think that they boned, and he's kind of like

27:38.440 --> 27:40.720
telling them like, no, it wasn't like that. Like, it was— she made me feel

27:41.220 --> 27:43.460
like young again. She made me feel like a man with like passion. So she

27:43.960 --> 27:47.500
just made me feel really good. Yeah, you know, and, and she's like an angel,

27:48.000 --> 27:51.360
basically, is what he says. Yep, yep, yeah. And they're like, oh, what's the matter,

27:51.860 --> 27:55.040
you couldn't get it up? Yeah, right. Yeah. Um, so they're both kind of like

27:55.540 --> 27:59.460
now realizing that, okay, uh, she's open to visitors and

27:59.960 --> 28:03.300
she's not fucking Chuck. So hey, there you go, we're both

28:03.800 --> 28:06.080
gonna try to shoot our shot. They're both like rushing to get— oh man,

28:06.580 --> 28:09.000
to get ready to go over and greet her, putting on some smell good,

28:09.040 --> 28:12.480
getting their hair done and pomade and like whatever, all old man stuff. But John

28:12.980 --> 28:15.240
takes a little extra time picking a hat. Yep. And he's got to take the

28:15.740 --> 28:17.320
extra time to pick it out. So by the time he walks out his front

28:17.820 --> 28:20.200
door to go across the street, he looks up and Max is already at the

28:20.700 --> 28:23.680
door and Ariel is welcoming him in. And he is— John's pissed, but he's also

28:24.180 --> 28:27.459
like, I fucking missed my chance. That's it. Goddamn it. Yep. Yeah.

28:27.959 --> 28:30.550
Uh, when she's talking to him, she says, uh, she says, do you paint?

28:30.600 --> 28:33.860
Yeah. And he goes, I fish. Well, he goes, yeah, every spring

28:34.360 --> 28:38.080
I paint the shed. Yeah, right. Oh, and he loved his own joke too.

28:39.216 --> 28:42.552
But he does say, uh, will you accompany me to my ice shanty?

28:43.548 --> 28:47.257
Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to my ice shanty? I think

28:47.757 --> 28:50.340
it's— it makes me want to do it more that it's called an ice shanty.

28:50.452 --> 28:53.005
I know, it's good. I like it. I like the shanty. Like, I would go

28:53.505 --> 28:56.120
to a bar called the Ice Shanty. I think that would be kind of— My

28:56.136 --> 28:59.411
only problem is anytime I hear the word shanty, I either think chanty,

28:59.443 --> 29:02.558
like those sailor songs or whatever, like that's called a chanty. So I think of

29:03.058 --> 29:05.705
that, or I think of Shooter McGavin telling everybody on the golf course to go

29:06.205 --> 29:06.556
back to your shanties.

29:09.060 --> 29:11.220
Little foreshadowing there. Shoot him again.

29:13.380 --> 29:17.600
Um, so of course, so of course Max and Ariel are fishing together,

29:17.620 --> 29:20.920
and, and he's gonna be like the, all right, listen, you dumb broad, this is

29:21.420 --> 29:24.380
how you do it. And she immediately catches like the biggest fish he's ever seen,

29:24.880 --> 29:28.560
right? 40-pound enormous fish. They're catching these little fish that are like

29:29.060 --> 29:32.480
8 inches long, like single male, like, yeah. And then, yeah, she catches

29:32.980 --> 29:36.220
this thing that's like a fish that would have a nickname, like Old Whatever,

29:36.720 --> 29:40.822
like in the lake, you know, everyone would have That's old Musky.

29:41.480 --> 29:45.088
He keeps escaping from everybody. Uh, but of course, because she's

29:45.588 --> 29:49.435
a California weirdo— Weirdo. She has to let her fish go. Yeah, 'cause she's—

29:49.935 --> 29:51.825
oh, and there's a really kind of funny thing here that definitely went over my

29:52.325 --> 29:55.674
head as a kid, but basically they're being very loud, like yelling, and she's

29:56.174 --> 29:58.930
kind of shrieking and squealing. And so everybody outside the shanty is like, what is

29:58.962 --> 30:02.795
going on in there? And then she starts yelling about how exciting

30:02.875 --> 30:06.163
this is and how important the release is. Oh, it's time for the release,

30:06.211 --> 30:09.082
Max. All this stuff. And it's like, okay, And then when she lets the fish

30:09.210 --> 30:12.112
go, she kind of goes, ah, and he goes, no!

30:13.154 --> 30:16.729
Like, it's like, oh my God, it was either a wail of

30:16.761 --> 30:19.711
terror or the most horrifying orgasm anyone has ever heard.

30:20.112 --> 30:23.207
Yeah. Uh, and then, uh,

30:23.880 --> 30:27.327
quickly we see that, uh, that Jack's dad— yeah,

30:27.343 --> 30:30.598
yeah— has, uh, caught Max's pole. Like, he's— it's come

30:30.646 --> 30:33.532
up. So he says that's the only thing he caught that morning. Yeah, the only

30:34.032 --> 30:36.145
thing he caught was this old fishing pole. So, so, so John takes it.

30:36.310 --> 30:39.510
And, uh, yeah. And then, uh, and then I think they go—

30:40.010 --> 30:42.670
he goes to Chuck's, John does, again, either to buy more bait or to talk

30:43.170 --> 30:45.190
about— I don't know if he's bringing the rod with him or whatever, but he

30:45.690 --> 30:48.730
sees that it's closed, and there's like a sheriff or somebody closing the store.

30:49.230 --> 30:52.370
That's weird. Um, and then we cut to,

30:52.870 --> 30:56.730
uh, Max being back home and talking to John, I think, right? And he

30:57.230 --> 30:59.130
said, you know, they were kind of bantering to begin with, but then John just

30:59.630 --> 31:02.290
turns and goes, Chuck's— he's dead. Chuck's dead. You would've known that if you weren't,

31:02.790 --> 31:04.910
like, you know, gallivanting with that girl, or whatever he tries to say. Right,

31:05.410 --> 31:06.370
right. You're an asshole for going out and being on a date while our friend

31:06.870 --> 31:10.402
was dying. Exactly. So, but yeah, so Chuck is gone.

31:10.466 --> 31:13.608
So even in this movie, the only Black character has to die first.

31:14.217 --> 31:17.519
And it's not even a horror movie. We're big fans of him on the podcast.

31:17.679 --> 31:21.286
And like I told you before the pod, I would love if Chuck had survived

31:21.786 --> 31:25.005
because I think that the 3 of them would have been a good movie or

31:25.358 --> 31:28.724
in some combination with Chuck as one of the grumpy old men. Yeah. Yeah.

31:28.885 --> 31:33.036
Like that would have been wonderful. Very, very different style with the 3rd person,

31:33.052 --> 31:35.794
but it's like he played such a nice sort of foil between them, you know?

31:35.890 --> 31:38.807
Like, I agree with you. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. He wouldn't have had the history

31:38.919 --> 31:41.568
going back to like the But it would have been a fun— like,

31:41.729 --> 31:44.927
he's a good mediation between these guys. Yeah, for sure. Um,

31:45.087 --> 31:48.478
and their reaction, you know, Max's reaction when he says Chuck's

31:48.978 --> 31:52.415
dead was just kind of like, ah, like, yeah, this old

31:52.915 --> 31:55.918
person, like, yeah, that's what happens to your friends, they die. Yeah, which, I mean,

31:56.191 --> 31:58.408
you get to a certain point in life and that you get, you know,

31:58.424 --> 32:01.654
it's sort of— it's like different. But we had, um, a couple weeks ago,

32:02.056 --> 32:04.868
or actually last weekend, uh, my wife and I, my— our kids, we went to

32:05.368 --> 32:07.540
a wedding of my nephew. And this is like the thing now, it's like my

32:08.040 --> 32:11.380
friends aren't getting married right now. It's like the younger generation of my family

32:11.880 --> 32:13.670
is starting to get married. Yeah. And so we're going to weddings. And so that's,

32:13.880 --> 32:16.120
you know, the thing where it's like we're in between the two, but eventually it's

32:16.620 --> 32:20.060
like, you know, then you start going to, you know, funerals of your friends' parents

32:20.560 --> 32:22.620
maybe or something. And then it's like, yeah, then it's your friends and it's just

32:23.120 --> 32:25.640
kind of like different. And I'm really sad now. I just made myself very sad

32:26.140 --> 32:28.560
thinking about all that. But anyway. No, I thought this was supposed to be feast

32:29.060 --> 32:32.480
mode. We're supposed to be celebrating. See? No, but it's like these different phases of

32:32.980 --> 32:36.500
your life where like certain things become normal. Yep, exactly. So,

32:37.000 --> 32:40.000
John has to go with him.

32:40.080 --> 32:42.120
Well, so, right, so John, basically there's a knock at John's door, and this time

32:42.620 --> 32:44.500
he thinks it's Max, like, coming back to argue. And actually, at this point,

32:45.000 --> 32:48.340
I think before this happens, John snaps Green Hornet the

32:48.840 --> 32:50.660
fishing rod. That's right, he was gonna give it back to him, but he's like,

32:51.160 --> 32:52.760
fuck that guy. He's like, screw that guy, yeah, whatever. And so, you know,

32:53.260 --> 32:55.160
the knock at the door, and he comes answering it like he's mad, like he

32:55.660 --> 32:59.240
thinks it's Max, but it's Buck Henry again, it's the IRS agent. And he's like,

32:59.380 --> 33:02.780
Mr. John Gustafson, like, I must insist that you come to my office to me,

33:03.280 --> 33:05.370
or come with me to my office, whatever. And he's got the IRS badge,

33:05.870 --> 33:09.230
so he has to go with him. And, uh, when do

33:09.730 --> 33:11.950
we— kind of time passes, we get to the evening. We don't see what John

33:12.450 --> 33:14.970
had to deal with at the IRS office or anything, but he gets back via

33:15.470 --> 33:18.850
taxi. Yeah. Um, because he went with the, the agent. And, uh, when he gets

33:19.350 --> 33:22.010
home, there's somebody in his house. There's sounds and there's like lights on, and he's

33:22.510 --> 33:24.790
kind of like, whoa, what's going on? And so he, he gets like a baseball

33:25.290 --> 33:28.450
bat and he's like sneaking through the house, and he like peeks into the

33:28.950 --> 33:31.480
kitchen and like a knife comes into view. And suddenly we're back in Shocktoberfest,

33:32.310 --> 33:35.650
except, except that it's Ariel. It's Ariel and she's cooking. She's making

33:36.150 --> 33:39.305
Szechuan stir-fry or something. It's got a big wok out and everything. So yeah,

33:39.451 --> 33:42.662
but yeah, so she's there to make dinner. Sneaks into his place to make dinner,

33:42.678 --> 33:46.453
just like Jane Spencer in The Naked Gun, Priscilla Presley's

33:46.953 --> 33:50.617
character. This woman has no boundaries. She really does not.

33:50.730 --> 33:53.748
And she's been too creepy in everybody's house.

33:54.200 --> 33:58.005
Yeah. But so she's— and then we find out that John,

33:59.765 --> 34:03.245
he used to teach US history in high school. Yeah. So they've got that kind

34:03.309 --> 34:06.770
of in common, the teacher connection. Right. Yeah. Uh, his dad is kind

34:07.270 --> 34:10.460
of giving him a little talk, all right? A little another pep talk from Burgess

34:10.960 --> 34:14.214
Meredith. He is, he's great throughout this. Um, I almost wish he was

34:14.326 --> 34:18.016
one of the parents in, uh, Christmas Vacation. Like, oh, he could

34:18.516 --> 34:20.711
have added a little— I mean, they were, they were good, but I think he

34:20.743 --> 34:23.872
could replace the Mason Adams role and maybe like add a little more juice to

34:24.372 --> 34:27.754
it. Um, so, and he's just like, oh, let me tell you,

34:27.802 --> 34:30.930
son, uh, the first 90 years goes by pretty

34:31.430 --> 34:34.748
fast. Mount the woman, son.

34:35.887 --> 34:38.470
And then, so then we see them, John and Ariel, on a date. He's riding

34:38.970 --> 34:41.245
on the back of her snowmobile. She's driving like a maniac on this thing,

34:41.293 --> 34:44.693
going super fast. Then they're like, uh, kind of on like a high perch,

34:44.790 --> 34:48.126
as if this is, uh, Breakdown again, and they're looking down over the shitty town.

34:48.399 --> 34:51.414
Uh, but they're on this high perch above the town looking down at Wabasha,

34:51.848 --> 34:55.008
and, uh, she like almost looks like she passes out or something.

34:55.088 --> 34:58.745
The way she falls, it looks like she's like having like a cardiac issue.

34:59.030 --> 35:01.510
But she falls to make a snow angel. So they both fall down and make

35:02.010 --> 35:05.250
snow angels, and it's very sweet. And then they go back to

35:05.750 --> 35:08.830
his house, and they're playing chess, I think, which he'd been doing by himself.

35:09.330 --> 35:13.110
So they're playing chess together, and they end up kissing. But then he kisses

35:13.610 --> 35:16.470
her, really. And then she says, it's getting late, it's time for bed. And she

35:16.970 --> 35:18.930
gets up to kind of like, you know, he assumes go, and he's like cursing

35:19.430 --> 35:21.090
himself. He's like, goddamn it, John. He's like, how you fucked it up, man.

35:21.190 --> 35:23.870
Screwed that up. So he goes, but instead of heading towards the front door,

35:24.370 --> 35:26.090
she's heading upstairs. And she's like, saddest time of the day. And she goes and

35:26.590 --> 35:28.270
like locks the front door first. That's right, she locks the front door, yeah,

35:28.770 --> 35:30.110
yeah. It's like, I'm gonna go to bed. And there's a great line in here

35:30.610 --> 35:32.670
of like, she's like, he's like, wait, wait, you're supposed to use protection now.

35:33.170 --> 35:34.770
Like, whatever. Like, I don't know. And she goes, John, when's the last time you

35:35.270 --> 35:39.210
had sex? And he's like, and he gives a date, like October, whatever, 1973 or

35:39.710 --> 35:42.190
something, whatever it was. Or, you know, 1978. Where she goes, yeah, I think we're

35:42.690 --> 35:46.190
all right. Like, it's like, all right, that's fair. You know, she's clearly menopausal.

35:46.250 --> 35:49.050
They're not worried about having a kid. Yeah. You know, they both had like probably

35:49.550 --> 35:52.350
one partner over decades and never had sex with anyone else. So like long before

35:52.850 --> 35:55.270
HIV like existed. Right, exactly. So I'm like, okay, go ahead. Like,

35:56.750 --> 36:00.750
Yeah, so they go and, uh, do the horizontal mambo thing there,

36:01.250 --> 36:04.810
right? And, um, and Max doesn't know this, that John and Ariel

36:05.310 --> 36:08.570
have seen each other. Ariel said something to John about like, basically she's interested in

36:09.070 --> 36:11.450
John, Max is just a friend. Like, I'm interested in you, John, Max is just

36:11.950 --> 36:13.810
a friend. So there's that part of it, but Max doesn't know this. Max,

36:14.310 --> 36:17.810
you know, he's hoping that there's more there, but he's like definitely older than

36:18.310 --> 36:21.110
Jack Lemmon. They're both significantly older than Ann-Margret, so it's like, you know, there's an

36:21.610 --> 36:24.912
age thing that already she's going for the older guy just by going for

36:25.412 --> 36:27.398
Jack Lemmon. Yeah. And then let's also face it, just the way they look,

36:27.414 --> 36:30.221
Walter Matthau does look like a melting candle. So it's a little, you know,

36:30.237 --> 36:33.541
you can see why maybe not her first choice. But he like picks like some

36:34.041 --> 36:35.882
purple, I don't know, he's got like, they look like lavender maybe or something,

36:35.898 --> 36:39.635
some kind of flower for her. And he's gonna go head across

36:39.747 --> 36:42.650
the street to her house in the morning, but then she comes out of John's

36:43.150 --> 36:45.761
house and is just very cheery and very, oh, Max, are those for me?

36:45.857 --> 36:48.519
Like, oh, thank you so much. And he's like, yeah. I'm there for you,

36:48.648 --> 36:52.448
you know, whatever. And she just heads on home and he is fucking pissed.

36:52.832 --> 36:56.745
Yeah, so pissed. John, uh, John is doing his like,

36:56.825 --> 37:00.047
I just got laid kind of dancing around the kitchen, which I always like to

37:00.547 --> 37:04.104
see. Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Yeah, but in a real like very risky

37:04.136 --> 37:06.798
business, risk of a hip dislocation business.

37:06.862 --> 37:10.277
Exactly. Um, very old guy the way that he's moving,

37:10.373 --> 37:13.051
but that's, that's really funny. And they made a big deal about him not being

37:13.551 --> 37:16.790
able to eat spicy food, uh, throughout the thing, but she made like Szechuan And

37:17.290 --> 37:19.770
now he's dumping Tabasco all over his eggs in the morning like he's a young

37:20.270 --> 37:23.620
man again. He can eat spicy food. All it takes is one getting laid.

37:23.630 --> 37:26.430
All you gotta do is fuck once, then you can shit blood and there's no

37:26.930 --> 37:29.890
consequence. Goddamn. Um,

37:30.390 --> 37:33.860
so, uh, and, and Max sees— does Max see the,

37:34.030 --> 37:36.910
the fishing pole? Well, no, he— or no, he doesn't know about it. No,

37:37.410 --> 37:40.050
no, he doesn't know about that. He's just in his ice fishing shanty getting drunk

37:40.550 --> 37:43.010
and kind of like, whatever. Uh, yeah, he's fucking pissed. Exactly.

37:44.077 --> 37:47.554
And but then John sees the fishing pole and like re—

37:48.163 --> 37:50.810
like he fixes it basically. That's right. And does, and does go to give it

37:51.310 --> 37:54.948
back. Yeah. Um, so, so John is in

37:54.964 --> 37:57.530
his shanty and just, you know,

37:57.867 --> 38:01.235
minding his own business, and all of a sudden, boom, like it gets rocked

38:01.735 --> 38:04.315
from the side. He's like, what the hell? I'm moving. Yeah. And we see that

38:04.427 --> 38:07.731
Max is just like pushing it with his car, shoving it

38:08.231 --> 38:10.827
around. One great thing about ice shanties, like if you're mad at a friend,

38:10.859 --> 38:14.787
you can just kind of like bump their And

38:14.947 --> 38:18.634
he pushes it so far out that it goes to like the thin part

38:19.134 --> 38:21.985
of the ice and his shanty falls. Like half sinks,

38:22.001 --> 38:25.848
basically. And John's able to like jump out at the last minute. And thank

38:26.348 --> 38:29.455
you for not doing like a trapped under the ice scene here or anything that

38:29.955 --> 38:33.767
extreme. Like even the beginning of, um, uh, It's a Wonderful

38:34.267 --> 38:37.086
Life where it's flashing back to his brother doing this shovel slide into the thing,

38:37.118 --> 38:40.000
which looks fun. It's a great shot. fucking so fun.

38:40.500 --> 38:43.560
Um, so yeah, he falls in the ice and then they have a fight which

38:44.060 --> 38:47.480
is just 100% slips and falls. Like, there's no close-up punch.

38:47.980 --> 38:51.200
It's just like, I'm gonna swing and my— the force of my swing will take

38:51.700 --> 38:54.020
me down to my ass. And I love Pops shows up and is like,

38:54.520 --> 38:57.900
hey, you two! And Max turns and goes, oh, oh, Mr. Gustafson! Like, he's still

38:58.400 --> 39:01.560
like intimidated by, you know, the, the old— the man next door. Yeah, he's still

39:02.060 --> 39:05.248
an authority figure to him. And as they're fighting, they're kind of talking about like

39:06.178 --> 39:09.947
stolen women of the past between the two of them. And I think it turns

39:10.447 --> 39:14.197
out that— is it Max's wife? Well, so Max

39:14.697 --> 39:18.270
was in love with a girl, and, and John stole her from him,

39:18.607 --> 39:22.199
according to Max, and then married her. And that's Mel's mother. And they

39:22.699 --> 39:26.625
were together for 20 years or whatever. And then, uh, and then also Max

39:27.125 --> 39:29.897
married a woman named Amy, who was the love of his life. And so it's

39:30.397 --> 39:32.110
sort of like John's sort of like, look, it all worked out for everybody.

39:32.174 --> 39:34.515
And Max is like, no, you still fucking stole a girl from me. Like,

39:34.580 --> 39:37.304
fuck you, you know, kind of thing. But so they're going all this kind of

39:37.804 --> 39:41.711
back and forth stuff. And this is after this fight, John kind of realizes like

39:42.211 --> 39:44.451
maybe Max is right. Like he's got like this look of realization on his face

39:44.951 --> 39:47.063
or kind of like, all right, maybe I did, you know, kind of whatever.

39:47.223 --> 39:50.460
And so that night, Ariel comes over to John's and has brought a painting,

39:50.524 --> 39:54.450
a really beautiful painting to give to him. And he basically says

39:54.950 --> 39:57.318
like, I can't accept it. Like, like you're too young for me, or I'm too

39:57.398 --> 40:00.667
old for you. This isn't gonna work. I like being alone. I don't like doing

40:00.715 --> 40:04.010
stuff. Mm-hmm. I don't think we should see each other anymore. And she's fucking heartbroken.

40:04.510 --> 40:07.190
Like, she's not happy about this at all, but she's also like pissed at him.

40:07.690 --> 40:09.930
Like, what the fuck, man? Like, you bang me? Like, you're the first person I've

40:10.430 --> 40:13.550
had sex with since my husband passed years ago, and now you're just gonna be

40:14.050 --> 40:17.130
like, fuck off? Like, you're a horrible person. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and,

40:17.630 --> 40:21.230
and he, um, and John is in his own head too, because Max had

40:21.730 --> 40:23.870
said like kind of right at the end of the fight, like, how are you

40:24.370 --> 40:27.550
gonna support her when the IRS takes your house away? So he's just like,

40:28.050 --> 40:30.430
he thinks he's a piece of shit. Like, my house is getting taken away,

40:30.930 --> 40:34.227
I can't catch any fish, My shanty is at the bottom of the sea

40:34.727 --> 40:38.587
now. Yeah. Yeah, so Ariel

40:38.860 --> 40:42.323
runs away and drops the painting, which sucks. Yeah. So now

40:42.387 --> 40:46.282
we're kind of moving forward in time, right? We're, we're at Christmastime,

40:46.715 --> 40:50.193
and during the, the time that's elapsed, like, Max and Ariel have been hanging

40:50.693 --> 40:54.281
out a lot more. John's been alone, whatever. He's got a

40:54.409 --> 40:58.434
box with his tax returns and everything in it, and it takes off. So he's

40:58.934 --> 41:02.657
going to meet this guy, obviously. Yep. And, uh, Max and Ariel just snowboarding

41:02.689 --> 41:06.752
it or snowmobiling it up. Yeah, I mean, it looks dangerous the way— as

41:06.784 --> 41:09.979
fast as he's going. Yeah, Matthau's a tall guy, like he could easily fall.

41:10.140 --> 41:13.704
I don't trust— I don't trust any of that. Um, but now it's like

41:14.204 --> 41:17.606
it's actually Christmas Eve, and so Mel comes over, uh, Daryl Hannah comes over to

41:18.106 --> 41:20.544
John's house, and Jacob goes over to Max's or whatever. And, um,

41:21.540 --> 41:25.215
oh, there's a thing at one point in here John

41:25.247 --> 41:28.665
had told Jacob that Mike and Mel were gonna get divorced and that basically

41:28.777 --> 41:31.873
Jacob, like, you should try to go for Mel. Like, it's interesting. John is

41:31.906 --> 41:35.419
very pro. As much as he hates Max, he loves Jake. He's very good to

41:35.919 --> 41:38.628
him. He calls him Jakey all the time. He says something about like, don't tell

41:39.128 --> 41:41.532
your pop, don't tell your dad about this. And Jake's like, well, you know,

41:41.933 --> 41:44.163
put a lawn sign in your lawn and I won't. And he goes, I'd be

41:44.243 --> 41:47.308
honored to. Like, he would've done it anyway. Clearly John, very, very big fan of

41:47.808 --> 41:51.380
Jacob. So he had mentioned that, and then— but then when Mel shows

41:51.880 --> 41:55.067
up with the daughter, the granddaughter of John, on Christmas Eve, here's Mike.

41:55.243 --> 41:59.379
The husband is here too. It's Christopher McDonald, Shooter McGavin. I had completely forgotten

41:59.395 --> 42:02.120
he was in this movie. When he showed up, I literally wrote my note,

42:02.136 --> 42:05.229
Chris McDonald. Like, this is a Christopher McDonald stan podcast.

42:05.277 --> 42:08.916
Like, yes, I love Christopher McDonald. Um, I think we even shamed

42:08.948 --> 42:11.897
Christopher McDonald's mom for not loving him as much as we do, uh, in a

42:12.397 --> 42:15.616
previous episode. Um, but yeah. This role, and it's so perfect.

42:15.680 --> 42:19.270
Like you said, every Everyone in this movie matters. Like, all the casting decisions are

42:19.770 --> 42:23.150
people that have done much bigger things elsewhere. And, uh,

42:23.650 --> 42:26.890
he is perfect. He's perfect as Marmee. Yeah, man.

42:27.390 --> 42:30.230
And he makes fun of when Jacob does show up then, because now Jacob's coming

42:30.730 --> 42:32.950
over to like bring flowers or something, or chocolates, I don't remember what it was,

42:33.450 --> 42:36.290
to Mel to try and like woo her a little bit. And now— but now

42:36.790 --> 42:39.750
Mike's there, and he didn't expect that, obviously. And so— but Mike— these people obviously

42:40.250 --> 42:42.070
all grew up together. Yeah, like Mike and Mel and Jacob all knew each other

42:42.570 --> 42:45.790
growing up, because he calls him like— he makes short jokes basically, or calls him

42:46.290 --> 42:50.116
Shrimpy or something. I don't know exactly, but like he makes little jokes about Jacob

42:50.616 --> 42:53.404
being short and not being as tall as he is. And here's the problem that

42:53.904 --> 42:56.371
Jacob has. Mel is also very tall. Darryl Hannah's a very tall guy. I know,

42:56.387 --> 42:59.402
that's a tough pull. If you're Kevin Pollak, good for you, man, if you can

42:59.902 --> 43:02.578
pull that off. And his plan is that he comes over there and he's got

43:02.706 --> 43:05.545
broccoli instead of mistletoe. That's what it was. He's like, we didn't have any mistletoe,

43:05.674 --> 43:08.801
so I brought— so he comes over before he sees Mike and he goes up

43:09.301 --> 43:12.586
to Mel. He's like, hey, here's the mistletoe. How about a kiss? And then she's

43:13.086 --> 43:16.355
like, oh, well, I don't want— and then he sees Mike over there and very

43:16.855 --> 43:19.950
good recovery. Like, how about you, big guy? Come on. Yeah, exactly.

43:20.450 --> 43:23.550
Good Paulie there. Very nice Paulie. Good stuff. Um,

43:24.050 --> 43:27.170
but basically John is like kind of pissed that Mel and Mike are together,

43:27.670 --> 43:29.730
so he's gone. He said, I'm gonna take a walk, I'm gonna go to Slippery's—

43:30.230 --> 43:32.490
apparently the name of their little dive bar in town or near their neighborhood.

43:32.990 --> 43:35.890
And so he does. And so then when Jacob goes back over to his dad's

43:36.390 --> 43:38.530
house, he goes like, uh, Mike was there. Like, oh, Mike and Mel are back

43:39.030 --> 43:41.310
together, you know, kind of thing. And he goes, yeah, Dad, like, you gotta,

43:41.810 --> 43:44.210
you gotta squash this. You gotta go talk to John. This is crazy. Like,

43:44.710 --> 43:46.810
he went down to Slippery's. Like, you should go talk to You know, all this

43:47.310 --> 43:49.949
kind of stuff. And now it's like, in Max's mind, he's like— he says something

43:50.449 --> 43:51.970
about like, I won, like, she chose me, or something. I don't know if he

43:52.470 --> 43:53.930
says it later, but he's thinking it at least. Yeah. Like, you know, is it

43:54.430 --> 43:56.510
like he's got Ariel, so there's no reason to be mad? It's sort of like

43:57.010 --> 44:00.170
it evened it out. Yes. Right? 50-something years ago, John stole a girl from me,

44:00.670 --> 44:03.170
and now I've won this one. So, hey, we're cool now, is sort of his

44:03.670 --> 44:06.330
thing. And so they go— he goes into the bar, he meets up with John

44:06.830 --> 44:10.330
down at the bar, and he apologizes, and he says that he's sorry.

44:11.400 --> 44:15.303
And he thinks— but he thinks it's about the fishing rod. Yes, and the shanty

44:15.496 --> 44:17.662
and like that stuff. And John's like, it has got nothing to do with any

44:18.162 --> 44:21.689
of that shit. You don't get it. Like, it's about her. Uh, and you know,

44:21.978 --> 44:24.801
Max said, well, she chose me. Like, anybody who says otherwise is an idiot,

44:24.817 --> 44:27.513
you know, kind of thing. And it's like, I mean, yeah, eventually, but it's like,

44:27.593 --> 44:31.908
she chose John. John had to— she chose you after John

44:32.165 --> 44:35.919
removed his name from consideration. Exactly right. Yeah, exactly. Um,

44:35.967 --> 44:39.337
so yeah. Um, so as, as they're,

44:39.465 --> 44:42.334
uh Uh, well, John goes to leave. John goes to leave, right? And he's walking

44:42.350 --> 44:45.635
home in the snow and starts to have a heart attack.

44:45.699 --> 44:48.343
That cardiac that he wished for in the opening scene. Exactly.

44:49.080 --> 44:52.542
Um, and Max, you know, comes across him there and

44:52.558 --> 44:55.907
is able to like go to a house nearby and get help and gets him

44:56.407 --> 44:59.529
taken to the— taken to the hospital. Yep. Um, so we're at the hospital now.

44:59.833 --> 45:03.407
Max is going to visit John. Yeah. And he's like, oh, you know,

45:03.423 --> 45:06.564
I'm here to see John Gustafson. Can you tell me where

45:07.064 --> 45:09.705
he is? And she says, are you friend or family? And then we get like

45:09.769 --> 45:13.455
this long, very long pause. But, you know, and I

45:13.955 --> 45:17.029
was like, you know what's coming. But it was just played so well that I

45:17.529 --> 45:19.769
was like, ah, that touched me a little bit, the way that he does finally

45:19.785 --> 45:23.119
go, friend. And Matthau, again, the facial acting,

45:23.215 --> 45:26.148
like just the transition. You can see the wheel turning in his head,

45:26.741 --> 45:29.769
and he's in that moment coming to grips with what John actually does mean to

45:29.785 --> 45:32.061
him, 'cause now he could lose him, right? That was the thing, is John was

45:32.270 --> 45:34.705
always next door, and he was, as far as Max is concerned— Max is older,

45:34.770 --> 45:38.172
for one thing. He's a couple years older. older. So he was gonna always

45:38.220 --> 45:41.577
be there. And, and so the idea that he might have to go back home

45:41.658 --> 45:45.561
and there's no John Gustafson next door, like, that's a problem. Yeah, for Max Goldman.

45:45.609 --> 45:48.886
He doesn't like that. So he has this moment of realization. It kind of sweeps

45:49.386 --> 45:51.375
over his face to where we can all see it, and he finally does say,

45:51.472 --> 45:54.893
oh, friend, you know, like, whatever. But it's really cute, and it's a really good,

45:54.909 --> 45:57.945
like, moment for, for the actor as well. Yeah, definitely.

45:58.683 --> 46:02.580
Um, and, and Ariel has shown up too at the hospital. Well, Max goes Oh,

46:03.080 --> 46:05.220
that's right. Max goes to her house to let her know, like, hey, John's in

46:05.720 --> 46:08.220
the hospital. Like, you need to come check. Because he knows what actually went down.

46:08.720 --> 46:10.700
Like, he gets it now. He understands, like, what, you know, really happened and that

46:11.200 --> 46:13.820
he needs to make sure that, like, she's aware. Like, he can't hide this from

46:14.320 --> 46:15.920
her. He needs to, like, make sure that if that's what's supposed to happen,

46:16.280 --> 46:18.740
that's what's gonna happen, like, sort of thing. And here's the thing, I also get

46:19.240 --> 46:21.180
the idea that I don't think Ariel and Max are, like, banging. Like, I don't

46:21.680 --> 46:24.320
think she— I think she's still kind of, you know, treating him like a friend.

46:24.820 --> 46:27.620
He maybe wants more, but you don't get the sense that they're really together together.

46:27.940 --> 46:31.730
They're just spending a lot of time together. And so he does go get Ariel

46:32.230 --> 46:34.610
and she comes to the bedside and they have, you know, a moment, John and

46:35.110 --> 46:37.470
Ariel, and kind of like, you know, you don't really want to be alone.

46:37.710 --> 46:40.650
Nobody really wants to be alone. Like, this is stupid. Like, we shouldn't— we,

46:41.150 --> 46:43.970
you know, we shouldn't just be alone. Let's be alone together or whatever kind of

46:44.470 --> 46:48.270
thing. And then when— then

46:48.770 --> 46:52.010
Max gets back to the house, to the houses, and the IRS

46:52.510 --> 46:54.930
is there trying to like take everything. Yeah. And he's always saying like, like,

46:55.430 --> 46:57.290
hey, you know, he's in the hospital. Like, you can't— you can't take him.

46:57.790 --> 47:00.020
Like, you gotta— you gotta give him time. Like, whatever, all this stuff. stuff.

47:00.520 --> 47:02.630
And the IRS guy, Buck Henry, is like, I don't care. Like, this is— we're

47:03.130 --> 47:06.500
gonna auction the house. Like, he's gonna pay because it's like a $57,000 bill or

47:07.000 --> 47:10.290
something. Uh, CPA corner right here. All right, here we go.

47:10.820 --> 47:13.350
So, um, first of all,

47:14.320 --> 47:17.280
that's not how IRS works, right? I love that,

47:17.780 --> 47:21.440
dude. Um, but what the agent says— yeah,

47:21.940 --> 47:25.320
because, because we know that John was a lifelong school teacher, right?

47:25.820 --> 47:29.152
Right. Typically you're a W-2 employee, you're getting your taxes with It would be very

47:29.184 --> 47:33.550
unlikely for a schoolteacher to, like, have this big tax deficit

47:33.567 --> 47:36.769
accumulating or whatever. And the way that they explain it

47:37.269 --> 47:40.995
is they say, oh, well, for 20 years you had union health benefits,

47:41.011 --> 47:44.607
or your wife had union health benefits that should have been subject to tax because

47:44.639 --> 47:46.337
you were also covered by your employee.

47:47.853 --> 47:50.967
Also, I don't know, I haven't looked into what it was in '93, but I've

47:51.467 --> 47:55.048
never fucking heard anything like that. Yeah. But it's subject to tax, and the

47:55.548 --> 47:57.916
tax on it is $13,000. Right. But because of interest, penalties, all that shit,

48:00.180 --> 48:03.490
it, it's $57,000, which is realistic. Okay,

48:03.990 --> 48:06.770
when you see these ads on TV that are like, we'll turn your tax debt—

48:07.270 --> 48:10.240
we had a client with a $100,000 tax debt and we turned it into $5,000.

48:10.970 --> 48:14.270
For, for the most part, your actual tax never ever goes down.

48:14.770 --> 48:17.890
What goes down is the penalty and interest and stuff like that. Okay, so,

48:18.390 --> 48:21.790
but this is how fucking kind of like thuggish

48:22.290 --> 48:25.570
the IRS can be. I mean, because they're making up what the penalty and interest—

48:25.580 --> 48:27.930
Yeah, whatever they want it to be, really. It has nothing to do with anything

48:28.430 --> 48:31.430
except That it's punitive. So it's fucking crazy that someone can end up in this

48:31.930 --> 48:35.290
situation. I think it's a little. I was I was dying for them to explain

48:35.790 --> 48:38.290
how he was getting his house taken by the IRS, and I have to say

48:38.790 --> 48:42.310
I'm left unsatisfied by this. But that's because this is my profession.

48:42.810 --> 48:46.770
It doesn't seem doesn't seem right. Christopher McDonald tying in CPA conversation:

48:47.270 --> 48:50.080
better or worse tax situation? This or Happy Gilmore for realism?

48:51.150 --> 48:54.330
Um, Gilmore. The big problem was that the dad apparently built the house, so it

48:54.830 --> 48:57.200
wasn't even like there was a mortgage. Yeah, what did Happy Gilmore was crazy?

48:57.550 --> 49:00.622
Like, she didn't pay tax for twenty years. Grandma was living. off probably Social Security,

49:00.638 --> 49:03.379
which is not taxable if that's your only income. Yeah, we went through the— I,

49:03.844 --> 49:06.873
dude, I went for Happy Gilmore because they mentioned years. Oh yeah, I went through

49:06.889 --> 49:10.047
the tax table for like different years and was trying to figure how this was

49:10.547 --> 49:13.525
even possible. So yeah, this is better than Happy Gilmore, but still bad. So as

49:13.638 --> 49:17.645
far as fake tax crises in Christopher McDonald

49:18.145 --> 49:21.444
movies, this is the best one. I hope we find a third. I want to

49:21.476 --> 49:24.666
find a third movie with Christopher McDonald in it where the— a

49:24.778 --> 49:28.721
major portion of the plot is a tax crisis. Please, somewhere, if anybody

49:29.221 --> 49:32.697
knows, email theshow@2dads1movie.com. Let us know if there's another

49:33.197 --> 49:35.855
one of these movies. We'll fit it in. We'll figure out how. Um, uh,

49:36.240 --> 49:39.606
so, so Max does say to that, the IRS guy, I think this is where

49:40.106 --> 49:42.283
he says, uh, do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head

49:42.315 --> 49:45.858
and swallow. So good. But basically, like, Max is

49:46.358 --> 49:48.760
like going to bat for John here. He's like trying to get this figured out.

49:48.824 --> 49:52.495
And eventually, uh, he, he barricades the door to

49:52.995 --> 49:55.580
John's house. house with like whatever. And we had seen John, I think we mentioned

49:56.080 --> 49:59.900
this earlier, he was spraying water on the snow that's up on the roof so

50:00.400 --> 50:03.440
that it'll harden so that any, any rattling or like whatever will have it

50:03.940 --> 50:07.000
all fall down. Right. That's basically the idea, right? And, uh, and even he doesn't

50:07.500 --> 50:09.240
do it right, and even Max tells him like, oh, you got to use hot

50:09.740 --> 50:13.820
water, moron, you know, or whatever. And so he does— has done this to the,

50:14.320 --> 50:16.980
the, the space above John's door because now the two, the moving guys are like,

50:17.480 --> 50:20.260
well, it's barricaded, we're not gonna— you take this down, fine, we're leaving. Yeah.

50:20.313 --> 50:22.459
The IRS guy gets a hammer and tries to undo, and it's like, no,

50:22.539 --> 50:24.898
way too many boards, way too many nails. That's gonna be really hard to do.

50:25.283 --> 50:28.412
But this is when Jacob then shows up, and he apparently as mayor has been

50:28.912 --> 50:32.247
able to somehow get them to not be able to touch the house for 30

50:32.747 --> 50:36.322
days. Again, something outside of mayor's jurisdiction, most likely.

50:36.852 --> 50:40.687
Although if the, the party in charge— like, typically it's the sheriff's department

50:41.187 --> 50:44.377
that does the evictions. Oh, okay, that's fair. Yeah, yeah. So the mayor might have

50:44.877 --> 50:48.758
some sway over that. But, um, but yeah, so he's pulled some strings

50:48.934 --> 50:51.960
and, you know, You're good for at least 30 days now. You gotta stop,

50:52.460 --> 50:54.320
you know, kind of thing. But then he still is able to get the snowball

50:54.820 --> 50:56.960
falls on Buck Henry, and we get to laugh at him, and that's the end

50:57.460 --> 50:59.480
there. And this is like Mel and Max and Jacob all kind of working together.

50:59.980 --> 51:02.320
And it's clear that Max is like, because of John's health scare, Max is like

51:02.820 --> 51:05.960
starting to come around for sure. And then they do the like redirect cut,

51:06.460 --> 51:09.280
right? So we cut from that to a church with a bunch of people in

51:09.780 --> 51:13.560
black and Mel and Jacob chatting. And it's like, oh fuck, did John die?

51:14.060 --> 51:17.360
Like, and that's what we're supposed to think. Totally. Did John die? 'Cause they're upset.

51:17.860 --> 51:19.380
And like you said, the way that it's shot, it's definitely meant to misdirect.

51:21.190 --> 51:23.800
Correct. But it is not— he did not die. I don't know how much time

51:24.300 --> 51:27.620
has passed. A fair amount has because Mel and, uh, Jacob are talking and Mel's

51:28.120 --> 51:31.670
divorce has not only actually happened, but it's been finalized. So it's like— Also unrealistic.

51:31.820 --> 51:33.620
It must have been a full year. I think it is a full year.

51:34.120 --> 51:35.760
I think it is. I think it is a full year later that John and

51:36.260 --> 51:38.140
Ariel dated for a while because now they're getting married. I think it is a

51:38.640 --> 51:41.500
full year later. So that's— and gave enough time. Now Jacob's still mayor, but,

51:42.000 --> 51:44.180
but, you know, because that's probably a 4-year term. And then, you know, now Mel

51:44.680 --> 51:46.340
is fully divorced. The two of them are kind of there together, and we get

51:46.840 --> 51:49.729
this idea that, hey, maybe they are going to explore or potentially together.

51:50.499 --> 51:53.948
Max is the best man. We even get a little redirect where

51:54.448 --> 51:57.189
Jacob shows up and asks his dad, are you nervous? And he goes, I'm not

51:57.237 --> 51:59.692
nervous, the groom is nervous. Yeah. And then so it's like, oh, is Max?

51:59.804 --> 52:02.949
No, no, it's John. Like, who's, you know? So they get married, it's very sweet.

52:04.040 --> 52:07.762
As they go to drive away, or no,

52:07.810 --> 52:11.276
before they go to drive away, Max tells John that his wedding gift

52:11.776 --> 52:15.447
to him is that somehow we, I think he's like him and Jacob, but like

52:15.947 --> 52:19.380
we were able to get them to forgive, You know, throw away all the fees

52:19.880 --> 52:23.300
and interest. Yeah. And I paid your original $13,000 bill. You're good. Like, they're not

52:23.800 --> 52:26.460
gonna take your house. Like, you're solid. That's an incredible gift, right? Oh yeah.

52:26.495 --> 52:28.920
$13 grand in 1993. Now we don't know what, I think, oh no, he said

52:29.420 --> 52:32.640
he was a, oh my gosh, what did Max say? He said at

52:33.140 --> 52:35.130
one point what he was before. Oh yeah, he was like a TV repairman.

52:35.620 --> 52:39.380
Oh, he fixed TVs. Yeah. I don't know how. So when Matthew Lillard gets hit

52:39.880 --> 52:43.380
in the face with a TV, can you get the blood and hair outta this

52:43.880 --> 52:46.300
thing? I love he says he can fix hers at one point when she's got

52:46.800 --> 52:49.590
a fishbowl, like, it's all gutted out and it's a fishbowl. I can fix it

52:50.090 --> 52:52.690
for you. And it's like, no, you can't. Well, you could get a new one,

52:53.190 --> 52:56.350
but like, that's not— anyway, so he's, uh, yeah, so he

52:56.850 --> 52:59.590
gives him, gives him the deed. And yeah, I was too, like, with the amount

53:00.090 --> 53:02.690
of money, like, how are they taking their house over that much? But at that

53:03.190 --> 53:06.550
time, I mean, those probably were less than $100,000 houses for sure. A little tiny

53:07.050 --> 53:10.370
town in Minnesota, $57,000 kind of just covers your debt. Like, sell the

53:10.870 --> 53:14.210
house and— yeah. Um, so yeah, he gives him the deed to the house and,

53:14.390 --> 53:17.820
hey, here's your wedding gift. And, uh, you know, yeah. Yeah, I think he's

53:18.320 --> 53:19.820
still calling him a moron or something. Yeah, they're still yelling at each other,

53:20.320 --> 53:22.790
of course, a little bit. But then they get into the car and both,

53:22.860 --> 53:25.990
uh, Ariel and John smell, you know, what is that,

53:26.340 --> 53:29.100
whatever. And sure enough, there's, there's a fish and he like hangs it out the

53:29.600 --> 53:32.600
window and throws it. And, and that's, I believe, how, how the movie ends.

53:32.700 --> 53:36.600
Yeah, we've got Mel and, uh, Mel and Jacob are together and

53:37.100 --> 53:39.760
kind of— I mean, there's certainly— I think they're hinting at a potential,

53:40.200 --> 53:43.980
right? Because earlier that day they were like, oh, the divorce is final or whatever,

53:44.480 --> 53:48.460
you know, kind of thing. So it looks like they're gonna maybe see about dating

53:48.960 --> 53:50.780
or something, but they don't— we don't get that like locked in, I don't think.

53:51.300 --> 53:54.460
Yeah, um, well, maybe I was more optimistic in my notes. I wrote down Kevin

53:54.960 --> 53:58.500
Pollak getting his Kevin Pole licked. Hey, that did not happen on screen,

53:59.000 --> 54:02.680
that's for sure. Uh, that's the director's cut. That's the director's cut. Um,

54:03.180 --> 54:05.840
but yeah, so we got, we got a happy ending there. Max, he's still got

54:06.340 --> 54:09.380
his friend. And it's funny that, you know, as much as Max was upset when

54:09.880 --> 54:11.960
John was in the hospital, he was gonna lose him, he also would have been

54:12.460 --> 54:15.460
upset if John lost his house and had to get evicted. Yep. Like, he needed

54:15.960 --> 54:19.620
him there. So, uh, so yeah, very sweet movie.

54:20.120 --> 54:23.180
And, uh, and then at the end, the outtakes, the Burgess Meredith stuff is very

54:23.680 --> 54:26.880
funny. Very funny. It's a movie that's worth watching through the credits. The credits

54:27.380 --> 54:29.840
are good. There's a, there's a handful of good Lemmon and Matthau moments. There's a

54:30.340 --> 54:33.880
lot of great Burgess Meredith, that, that, uh, Chuck's taking the one-eyed whatever to the

54:34.380 --> 54:36.900
optometrist kind of thing. Like, oh, one of the optometrists, he's got like 7 or

54:37.400 --> 54:40.880
8 versions of those, much dirtier in general, but very funny. My favorite one though,

54:41.380 --> 54:44.644
actually, His— the shot at the very ending shot of the movie after the car

54:45.144 --> 54:48.161
drives away is, is Max sort of like watching them go. And I think he

54:48.661 --> 54:52.095
goes like, puch, or something like that, right? And then so there's that moment,

54:52.111 --> 54:55.211
but then Jack Lemmon steps into screen and into the frame and goes,

54:55.950 --> 54:59.563
who just, who just left? Yes, it's just like very— that was really

55:00.063 --> 55:03.594
good. And you could— the way that Matthau reacted, he legitimately was cracked up by

55:04.094 --> 55:07.706
that. He was like, that's a good bit. That's a good bit. And, uh,

55:07.770 --> 55:11.138
goddamn. So that is, uh, that's Grumpy Old Men. Yeah,

55:11.154 --> 55:14.121
so it was your first time, but you brought it to the pod. So give

55:14.621 --> 55:16.959
us your rating, man. What's your take on Grumpy Old Men? You know, this does

55:17.071 --> 55:20.294
make me want to go watch The Odd Couple and stuff.

55:20.503 --> 55:24.496
And you wonder, knowing the history that these 2 have of just like performing together

55:24.512 --> 55:27.655
over the years, yeah, were there little bits of this dynamic that

55:28.155 --> 55:30.766
were kind of real? You know, I'm sure that they were great friends and stuff,

55:30.782 --> 55:34.390
but are there certain things where it's like, dude, Matthau pisses me off so much,

55:34.694 --> 55:38.463
you know? Um, but it's a movie that I would

55:38.963 --> 55:42.007
call it kind of like— it's a PG movie, right? Yes, it is. Yep.

55:42.728 --> 55:46.561
So it's got a lighter touch. Yeah. You know, and the comedy's a little lighter,

55:46.577 --> 55:49.752
and it's— and it's— but exploring,

55:50.169 --> 55:54.482
um, characters of this age, yeah, really never happened

55:54.578 --> 55:58.106
where, where you cared about like what happened. You can have a movie where

55:58.606 --> 56:02.051
it's about some creepy old lady that, you know, murders people

56:02.551 --> 56:05.739
or whatever, right? But to care about the lives of these people and to understand

56:06.239 --> 56:09.569
that like once you get into this last act of your life. Like, there's still

56:09.650 --> 56:12.726
life to be lived and there's still adventure to be had and friends to make.

56:12.790 --> 56:16.043
And, and all this kind of stuff was interesting because at this time, I don't

56:16.059 --> 56:19.424
know what was giving you that perspective. The Golden Girls maybe, but that was

56:19.924 --> 56:23.478
it. Um, actually, no, I don't need to qualify that. The Golden

56:23.978 --> 56:26.859
Girls is fucking very well written and really funny. Um,

56:27.837 --> 56:31.346
I like these guys a lot. Yeah. Uh, all the cast— like, there's no

56:31.362 --> 56:34.505
one in the cast that I have an issue with. I I could have taken

56:35.005 --> 56:38.343
a little more Ossie Davis. Yeah. They very easily could have put like Piven

56:38.843 --> 56:42.212
as Kevin Pollak and it would have been worse. So I,

56:42.598 --> 56:46.676
yeah, I like all the choices here. I wasn't laughing

56:46.708 --> 56:50.385
my ass off during the movie, but it is a movie when I'm thinking

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about something that's appropriate for a broad audience. If you're gonna throw something

56:54.560 --> 56:57.948
on, you know, holiday time, you got family around, this is

56:58.448 --> 57:01.701
a pretty good one. I enjoyed Grumpy Old Man. I'm gonna give it a 3.5

57:02.201 --> 57:05.710
out of 5. I think it's enjoyable, it's well performed. I don't know what

57:05.726 --> 57:09.495
to pick apart about this other than that it maybe wasn't

57:09.995 --> 57:13.904
enough as far as like being funny enough or interesting or dramatic

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enough, but for what it's trying to be, it does a great job. So I'm

57:17.192 --> 57:20.928
a 3.5 out of 5 on Grumpy Old Man. Very nice. Yeah, um, I similarly

57:20.960 --> 57:24.215
very much enjoyed it. It was— for me, there was nostalgic, you know, parts to

57:24.247 --> 57:28.064
it for sure. I mean, I didn't remember all the different

57:28.564 --> 57:29.746
sort of like jokes and elements. Obviously, it's been so long since I've seen it,

57:29.778 --> 57:32.744
but there was a handful of stuff like, honestly, like Walter Matthau saying, eat my

57:33.244 --> 57:36.350
shorts, is like stuck in my head for ages. And, you know, the,

57:36.575 --> 57:39.604
the Ann-Margret on the snowmobile was something I just remember a lot, you know,

57:39.620 --> 57:42.121
that kind of stuff. And, and so it really was a lot of fun to

57:42.621 --> 57:45.103
go back and revisit this one and watch it again. You know, the reality of

57:45.603 --> 57:48.661
it though is that it's— it is a very light touch. Um, you know,

57:48.693 --> 57:51.547
it's not— not a lot happens. I mean, it is, it is a romantic comedy.

57:51.643 --> 57:54.433
You don't see a lot of romantic comedies again with like the, the principals being

57:54.465 --> 57:57.594
in their 50s and 60s. I mean, Matthau himself, even though he's the third wheel

57:58.094 --> 58:01.107
in the romance, was like in his 70s when he made this. And so yeah,

58:01.204 --> 58:04.653
it was— it's neat that that's the case. A lot of funny stuff in

58:05.153 --> 58:07.653
it, but it's like, again, I think I didn't laugh out loud. I chuckled through

58:07.766 --> 58:10.686
almost the entire movie. Yeah, which is great. It's an enjoyable thing. But like,

58:10.734 --> 58:13.766
that's also like, I can't put it up there with like comedies that I really,

58:13.878 --> 58:17.087
really, for sure, you know, found hilarious. So I'm

58:17.587 --> 58:20.118
pretty much like just on what I would call like just the side of thumbs

58:20.618 --> 58:22.650
up on this one. I'm a 3 out of 5 on Grumpy Old Men.

58:22.762 --> 58:26.016
Very enjoyable, worth watching. If it's not something that

58:26.048 --> 58:29.526
like, you know, you have nostalgia for or we piqued your interest with this,

58:29.574 --> 58:32.747
like don't bother. It's definitely not a must-see or anything like that, but a nice

58:32.811 --> 58:36.770
solid. And again, you're right, family-friendly movie that does qualify as

58:36.866 --> 58:40.440
a Thanksgiving movie given that, you know, the plot, it covers all

58:40.585 --> 58:43.470
of the kind of fall and winter, you know, in this town in Minnesota.

58:43.678 --> 58:46.659
But a big part of the way the plot turns is Thanksgiving night. Yeah.

58:46.980 --> 58:50.108
Even though the scene is not very long, So I think it definitely qualifies in

58:50.608 --> 58:53.416
that sense. And, and yeah, so 3 out of 5 for me. So that makes

58:53.916 --> 58:57.141
us 6.5, 6.5 out of 10 from the 2 dads on Grumpy

58:57.157 --> 59:00.465
Old Men. We're right in line with IMDb and all that stuff. Absolutely. Yeah.

59:01.091 --> 59:04.591
All right. So we're going to continue on with Feast Mode. We're doing another Thanksgiving

59:04.640 --> 59:08.076
picture next week and we are getting a character,

59:08.156 --> 59:11.399
an actor I don't believe we've had yet. And then several we have,

59:12.427 --> 59:15.123
but a very important In some ways,

59:15.621 --> 59:18.910
actor for the '90s, uh, Mr. Pauly Shore is somebody

59:19.410 --> 59:22.856
that we have not seen yet. Uh, and so we are going to

59:23.356 --> 59:25.808
go to— I think it was like '94 or '95, is that— I'm not sure

59:26.308 --> 59:29.563
exactly right. Um, and he is going to attend,

59:29.835 --> 59:33.124
go to a Thanksgiving break. He's a— Mr. Shore plays, uh, the,

59:33.269 --> 59:36.429
the RA of a college dorm, and there is a girl

59:36.493 --> 59:41.419
there that he's friends with who convinces him to go back home

59:41.919 --> 59:43.450
to Kansas, I believe, with her for Thanksgiving break because she doesn't want to tell

59:43.950 --> 59:45.970
her parents that— I don't know, she got a tattoo or some shit. I don't

59:46.470 --> 59:49.090
remember what it was. She's got a boyfriend back there that like is expecting her

59:49.590 --> 59:52.070
to like be a little housewife farm girl, and she doesn't want to do that.

59:52.570 --> 59:55.310
She wants to be a big city LA girl. Uh, it's, uh, Pauly Shore and

59:55.810 --> 59:59.350
Carla Gugino. The movie is Son-in-Law. Um, another one I have not seen this

59:59.850 --> 01:00:02.530
in quite a long time, but I remember watching this a ton in like high

01:00:03.030 --> 01:00:06.150
school and college. I really enjoyed it. Uh, the single best needle drop of Little

01:00:06.650 --> 01:00:09.510
Miss Can't Be Wrong by the Spin Doctors in any movie is in this movie.

01:00:10.010 --> 01:00:12.750
Carla Gugino rolling around on roller skates or rollerblades, whatever it is, works for me

01:00:13.250 --> 01:00:17.050
every time. She's gorgeous. Uh, we get, uh, uh, Tiffany Thiessen is in this.

01:00:17.550 --> 01:00:20.950
There's just so many great people in this movie, uh, and it's gonna be very,

01:00:21.450 --> 01:00:24.070
very much enjoyable, I hope. Again, I haven't seen it in a while. Uh,

01:00:24.570 --> 01:00:27.910
have you ever seen Son-in-Law? Like— Oh, we— Son-in-Law is kind of a rotation film

01:00:28.410 --> 01:00:32.410
at my house recently. Yeah, and my daughter who's 14 loves

01:00:32.910 --> 01:00:36.349
Pauly Shore stuff. She thinks It's so funny. The line, the grew

01:00:36.849 --> 01:00:40.199
the dew, drank some brew, guzzled some brew. Like the shit that he

01:00:40.699 --> 01:00:44.018
says. We just watched Encino Man, which I don't know if this qualifies as an

01:00:44.050 --> 01:00:47.724
IRS situation when he says, don't tax my gig so

01:00:47.740 --> 01:00:51.526
hardcore, Cruster. I don't know if that counts, but no Christopher

01:00:52.026 --> 01:00:55.954
McDonald though. Son-in-law is fantastic.

01:00:56.067 --> 01:00:59.211
I can't wait to watch it like through an analytical.

01:00:59.440 --> 01:01:02.792
Cool lens, but a lot of fun. I can't wait, dude. This is,

01:01:02.824 --> 01:01:05.778
this is going to be like the young person version. You know,

01:01:05.939 --> 01:01:09.455
this is like we did old people stuff, like stereotypical

01:01:09.712 --> 01:01:13.630
old people in the early '90s. Now we're doing stereotypical college student

01:01:14.208 --> 01:01:17.516
age kids in the '90s. Perfect. Very nice. Next week we'll watch Son-in-Law

01:01:17.596 --> 01:01:20.807
and munch on some grindage. That's a wrap. If you like what

01:01:21.307 --> 01:01:23.938
you hear, please consider heading over to Apple or Spotify and leaving us a 5-star

01:01:24.438 --> 01:01:26.973
review. It helps new folks find the show. Be sure to check out our website

01:01:27.473 --> 01:01:31.005
at twodads1movie.com. That's the number 2 and the number 1. There you can explore the

01:01:31.505 --> 01:01:34.683
movies we've covered, even get sneak previews of upcoming episodes. Once again,

01:01:34.699 --> 01:01:38.120
this has been Grumpy Old Men, another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie.

01:01:38.312 --> 01:01:40.882
I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. Thank you so much for listening. We'll catch you next