Appears the United States Parole Commission then.
Oh, man.
Yeah. Put the bunny back
in the box.
I knew you was a punk and I was right.
You been playing us all along.
You a free man.
I said put the bun back
in The Box.
It's 2 Dads 1 movie. It's the podcast where two middle
aged dads sit around and shoot the about the movies of the 80s and 90s.
Here are your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nick Briana.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of 2 Dads
1 Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nick. And today we are shedding our
shock to fest movies. That was a ton of fun. We hope you enjoyed it,
but it's a new month. It is. It's November. It's Cagevember.
And today we are going to watch one of the like, kind of
core 90s Nicholas Cage movies. We watched
Con Air and this is going to be so much fun. I just want to
see in general, like real quick off the top. When I came up with the
idea of doing a podcast like this, I asked Nick to join me and he
was so gracious to say yes. One of the first ideas I had was I
want to do a, like a, like a, like a marathon of Nicolas Cage movies.
Yeah. Because Cage is like so to me, so synonymous with the way
that Hollywood was wacky in the 90s. Really crazy plots
and premises. Every single action movie had to have two big stars.
Like we see this in almost every action movie in the 90s, especially mid-90s.
Got to have to Nicholas Cage was number was one of those two in several
movies. We'll get into that. But also just because I want to point it out
for like lore again, eventually, if this podcast ever actually gets big, people will know
that, like, this is where some of this came from. I was inspired to do
that by the TV show Cougar Town. This is a deep cut of Bill Lawrence
2000s comedies, post Scrubs, pre Ted Lasso
comedies. But in that movie, one of the characters and his friends, they're nerds.
They do a Emilio Estevez festivez and watch a bunch of Emilio Estevez movies together.
And it was like, oh, I like that. But Nicolas Cage is so much cooler
than Emilio Estevez. Let's do Nick. Let's do, let's do Nick Cage on that.
So Cagevember was born and this is the first episode of Cagevember.
And I'm going to stop saying Cagevember now. No, I think it's, I think it's
perfect. And I think he suits the month Perfectly. This is the month that has
Thanksgiving. And I think that Nic Cage's performances are a cornucopia
of emotion and range and hilarity. Intentional and
unintentional. Yes. And, yeah, I mean, he really gives us a lot to discuss
and he picks some really fun shit to talk about, especially like,
in the spirit of, you know, sometimes we get into movies that are more,
like, artistic and we're trying to analyze from the AP English style
approach, but then sometimes it's just like, oh, yeah, me and my friends watch this
dumbass movie and drink beer and laugh at it. And like, we've got a couple
of those, I think, coming up with Cage because we know. We know what he
produces. So I'm very, very excited to talk about this one. Yeah.
The combination of an Academy Award for acting and
the kind of crazy premises he would also act in, like, that does. That combination
doesn't exist in anyone else. This is a uniquely Nicolas Cage thing. And happening at
the same time. Like, it's one if Leaving Las Vegas was 25 years before
he started being crazy. But, like, yeah, it was parallel timelines.
It's really. It's really great. Yeah, it's really crazy. And we're going to. So.
So just so you know, folks, were watching Con Air, we're not going to tell
you the other movies we're going to do until we. Until we end each episode,
but we are doing three more. There's three more after this Wednesdays in November.
So we'll be doing three more Nicholas Cage movies. And the final one will kind
of tie together a lot of the stuff we're going to talk about. It really
is sort of like this particular era of Nicholas Cage is kind of where we're
focusing on maybe not 100% of the time, but, you know, we're going to get
into all the different movies in this mid-90s era that he went into that are
just nuts. And Con Air absolutely sets the bar for nuts
super high. Really, really. Well. All right. You picked
Con Air for us, sir. Tell us about it. What's your history with it?
Why'd you pick it? Other than, of course, it's Cage of Ember. Oh, yeah.
So I've got a couple things about conair, actually. I mean, I think just the
basic thing that you and I probably both saw it around the time that it
came out. If not in theaters, this would have. Been a theater watch for me,
for sure. Remember, in. I don't think this was at the theater that I worked
at. So there were kind of Two competing theaters where we grew up. There's the
Crow Cannon and the Blackhawk Theater. And they didn't both get the same movies.
Almost never always get different movies. They were different brands. So at
the time, and I worked at the Blackhawk Theater, so everything there I was able
to see a bunch of times and. And I would be pissed when there was
a big blockbuster like this that went to the other theater. And I think this
is one that went to the other theater. Right. Later in life, though,
I mean, this is something that I've watched and referenced and everything, and it's
been very funny. My wife and I watched this early on when
we were dating and really got a kick out of it.
And we started around that same time collecting
like, we both had a bunch of DVDs and we decided we're not going to
get rid of them. We're just going to put them in books and keep them.
And we started getting them from thrift stores and stuff. This will get somewhere,
don't worry. So if you rent a movie on on demand, it's like
399 at the low end or whatever, right? You can buy movies
at the thrift store for like a buck 25 on DVD. So we started making
this like a date activity where we'd go out and look for things.
And Con Air. One time I wanted to buy it on like Amazon Digital.
She's like, no, like, you got to wait until we find it in the thrift
store. You can't. You can't pay for it. You can't do it. Yeah, we can't
do it. Like things. It's like assigning that thrift store value to a thing in
your life. So we called it the Con Air Promise. And we would not purchase
Con Air until we came it at a thrift store. In years past, we never
did. End of story. We stole it from an Airbnb because they were overcharging
us for cleaning. So. So, yeah, I love Con Air. And it's Cage.
And it's Cage in a Cage. This is about as cagey as we can get
to start off the month. I love it. How about you, Steve? Yeah, this was
definitely a theater watch for me. I was. This is exactly the kind
of movie that I was into in high school pretty much. You know,
there the. The big Quentin Tarantino hits came a little
too young for me to convince my parents let me go in the theater.
We were like 14 when Pulp Fiction came out, maybe 13 when Reservoir Dogs did.
So that was like not kind of a Non starter. But this, you know,
this was like the summer between junior and senior year. This was like perfect timing
for. For just, you know, going to the movies with the guys. Right. And it
was Nicholas Cage. And, you know, at the time, I don't think I had the
same level of appreciation as I do now for like John Cusack or John Malkovich
or Cole Meaney or Ving Rhames or Steve Buscemi, et cetera, et cetera. But when
you look back on this cast now, it's like, holy crap, loaded. It's absolutely.
I feel like it's stacked with B list folks for the most part. Like,
I don't really think of these guys outside of Cajun. Cusack are really A listers,
but they're like high end. They're like B plusers, you know, supporting. They're like
the fifth best guy in A Champion, I guess. Malcolm. Yeah, Malkovich. Malkovich is an
A lister. Like, I'm trying not to. I'm trying to be fair here. But like,
yeah, they're even the kind of side guys we're like, oh, yeah, I know who.
Where he's from. Danny Trejo. Right. They're like the high end. They show up and
stuff that we like. Yes. When they're in things, it's always great stuff. And so
they are like the high, high end of that, like, second tier. So the whole
cast is stacked. The premise is bonkers. You know, everything's nuts about
it. Tons of explos. You know, there's almost,
Almost nothing to not like about the movie.
I'm looking at you, Trisha Yearwood. Get the fuck out of my ears. Get out
of my ears. I tried listening to other earworm songs over the last few days
to get. Just to wash it out of your ear. Out of my ears.
And nothing worked. Not even Bob Cajun by the Tragically Hip, which always gets stuck
in my head. And that didn't work and I'm very upset. Shall we move on
to the facts? Yeah, let's move on to the facts. Sorry, Trisha Yearwood,
no offense to you personally, personal offense, we don't like your song or your wor.
Offense to Trisha Yearwood. Thank you so much. Okay. All right. The movie Con air
debuted on June 6, 1997 with an R rating and a running time of 115
minutes. Directed by Simon west and written by Scott Rosenberg.
The film stars lots of. We just mentioned, but. But primarily Nicholas
Cage, John Cusack and John Malkovich. Scores 59% on
rotten tomatoes, which unfortunately is 1 percentage point lower than the, like, fresh threshold.
The threshold, as it were. So just a little bit of a rotten
score there. 6.9 IMDb Nice. And we
get a thumbs up from Roger Ebert. No rating from Mr. Gene Siskel. This movie
came out as his health was really deteriorating and he did not actually appear on
the episode of Siskel and Ebert at the Movies with Roger Ebert to do this
movie. So we don't get a thumbs up or down from Gene Siskel. RIP Gene.
Imagine being so messed up. Your job is to give a thumbs up or a
thumbs down and you call in sick. Cancer is a bitch. I got some
cancer from using this thing too much. All right, Awards. Not a lot
of wins. A couple, but a few. I really want to mention a few nominations.
Very much worth mentioning. This movie was nominated. I love this. For two Oscars.
I'll say it again because I know you think you misheard me.
This movie was nominated for two Oscars.
Now that the shock has washed over you, we'll dial it back a second.
I'll point out it was for best sound, which always seems to be action movies,
right? That's a regular action visual effects and sound and complicated work.
We've seen a couple sound editing Oscar wins and action movies, I kind of think.
But the second one is for the song, Best original song, How Do I
Live Perform at Trish Earwood. But the songwriter is Diane Warren. So she was nominated
for. For that. The movie was also nominated for a Grammy that year. That song
as best song specifically written for a movie or television show.
And then the wins that the. That the film received in.
At the Blockbuster Entertainment Awards in 1998. We got to remember, like,
this was the height of Blockbuster's power in the industry. So, yeah, both Nicholas
Cage and John Cusack won awards. Cage for best favorite actor in a lead
role, and then Cusack for favorite actor in a supporting role. That's how those.
So Cajun. Cusack was some blockbuster awards that year. And then the 1998
Rat Razzie Awards gave Con Air, and I quote, the award for
worst reckless disregard for human life and public property,
which has to be the best possible Razzie to win. Yeah, that sounds like
not a bad award. That's a. That's an honor. That is absolutely.
Like, I makes. It makes the movie so much better. We are going, yes,
we landed a massive cargo plane on the strip specifically to
have disregard for human life and public property. Thank you so much.
So it worked out great. You mean instructional airline safety. Movie con
wasn't exactly all right. On a $75 million
budget, which actually, in retrospect, seems pretty modest, given.
Given the amount of power and the destruction. You know, it pulled in 224
million, just shy of three times what it costs. So that is. If not like
a true blockbuster. Blockbuster. It's certainly a hit movie. It made a ton of money.
It's a success. There's no. There's no kind of arguing that Con
Air did its job in the box office. That's right.
Okay. Those are the facts on Con Air. And.
Okay, let's just get into it. All right. I mean.
Yeah, so. So this is kind of like the way that.
And we've talked about this before. I like the way when. When movies start like
this, it just kind of takes you through just enough to get to the main
action. Right. Just in similar to the way the Fugitive started. Yeah. You know,
where it's like the trial, all this stuff during the credits. So we have Nic
Cage. He's got his, like, Army Ranger retirement. Right. And the
song is playing. Your favorite song is playing right from the beginning. I do want
to say this before I forget. I have an opposite experience with that song.
The last time I was at the fair with my daughter, we go once a
year. We ride all the rides together. It's really fun. And we were doing that
ride that's kind of like the burlap sack down the slide. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. The giant slide, which is not worth it if you're paying for tickets,
but if you have an unlimited wristband, dude hit that thing, like, 30 times.
And we were having so much fun going down that slide. As concert performer,
Leanne Rimes was doing her version of this song. So I was like, you know,
this may be, like, the last time I'll be going down this slide with my
kid as the Leann Rimes song plays. You know, not too bad. Not the
Trisha Yearwood version. So maybe it's not quite as much of a torture. I actually
would probably wager. I would guess, actually, that Leann Rimes had actual more success with
the song than Trisha Yearwood did. I think. I honestly think that's possible because she
was a huge hit for Leann Rimes. Yeah. Anyway, so, okay, back to the story.
So Cameron Poe, Nicholas Cage, he's retired from the Army Rangers,
and, oh, know you. Great service to your country, and now you go out into
the world like you don't need any cooling off time. You're probably. Your temperament is
fine. Why don't you just go hang out with Everyone. And. And he ends up
going to see his girlfriend. Fiance. Oh, it was actually his.
Okay. He's too wholesome for that. I should have clocked that.
And she's a. She's a bartender at this bar that's kind of like a rowdy
country bar. He's like, oh, I'm here to be super romantic without considering maybe taking
you to a different location first. So he's trying to, like, slow dance with
her while a bunch of guys that are ex sea bass from Dumb and Dumber
are like, you know, shit kicking at the end of the bar and be like,
oh, that should have been my girl. You know, you troops suck.
Whatever. Which. Okay, let's. We gotta unpack a few.
Yes, let's. Because you unpack. Yeah, you set up the. That is the opening.
You're right. It is sort of a cold open. The Fugitive Demolition Man. A few
of the movies we've done have done this where it's like even before the title
card, essentially, right? We get all this exposition and plot and
a few things jump out at me. Let's. I don't even know where to start.
Okay, one, the bar is on the bayou
or a river. Like, he takes a boat to get to his wife's
place of work. There's obviously a parking lot because they end up in it later.
Where she drove to work. Where is he coming from that he's coming by boat.
There's a bunch of bars like that in Florida that I've been to. Okay,
so maybe. Maybe down on the co. Maybe this is Alabama, like, on the coast.
I don't really know for sure, but. Okay, so there's. That's a possibility. His accent.
I love Nicolas Cage. I'm a huge Nicholas Cage fan. This is one of the
worst accents I've ever heard in any movie ever. His Forrest
Gumpian, Alabama drawl is almost unlistenable.
Like, I want to learn Spanish just so I can watch a
dubbed version of this. Because whoever's doing this for the Spanish overdub didn't do this
bad an accent. There's no way. It's going to be a much more enjoyable experience.
But I don't know Spanish well enough. There's that. And then.
Yeah, these like. These like good old boys. These like hillbillies, whatever they are
at the bar. Sure, they're getting drunk. They want to hit on Monica Potter.
Trisha is actually her name, right? Trisha Poe. And they want to hit
on her. Or maybe they have been and they've been trying to, like, get Her.
And she's like, no, no, no. I got a man. I got a man.
And he's like, what do you mean got to do with me? I got a
man. Positive cage. Positive cage. Nice.
But, you know, but it's like, since. I mean, maybe I'm misremembering
the 90s, but since when did good old boys think that soldiers
sucked? Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like, is this just because it's pre
911 and so we didn't have all that. Yeah, I bet. So it always portrays
this fake guy. And I totally agree with that. I don't think this guy really
exists. Right. So it's like guys who would say, as a whole, I support
everything that the military's ever done, but individually, I still have grievances with
every person who has stuff that I don't have or whatever, I guess. And I'll
say what I need to say to hurt the guy. So the guy was like,
really being inappropriate, right? And then Nick Cage is like,
gets mad for a second and then Trisha stops him and she goes,
I thought you weren't that guy anymore. I was hoping the army would make
that guy grow up. He's like, oh, you thought that trained murder
training for four years would make me less violent?
What the. I'm sure it did many good things for him, but is
that the thing that the army would cure? Right? I don't think so. Hey,
Lieutenant Huxley, Murder, death, kill is on the menu here. This is exactly what he's
supposed to. Do now is an Army Ranger. It's not like his job was like,
push ups and administration. He was like, supposed to be that guy.
He's not. He's not, you know, piloting drones in the Air Force. This is like
boots on the ground doing the job. They. That's what I say at the beginning,
right? Rangers lead the way, the whole deal. The only other thing that I want
to mention about this, and we can move to the next scene, but like,
he also. So Monica Potter, Trisha's character, she's pregnant pose
w. And he does this. Pretty embarrassing for her. She's clearly not happy,
uncomfortable with it. But he, like, leans down to, like, listen her belly and,
like, talk to her belly. And he says, like, oh, my daughter's in there.
You know, whatever. Like, oh, what's that, dear? You going to be. We miss Alabama.
Your daddy gonna be so proud. And I'm sorry you and I are fathers of
daughters. Not interested in my daughter being a pageant. Someday I hope that a teenage
Version of yourself, stars in a Donald Trump run beauty pageant.
Like, what the fuck? Like, like a
scientist, a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, anything. What a
fucking simpleton Cameron Poe is throughout the movie.
And, like, talking to the belly and all these things, it is like, oh,
you taught an eight year old to be really good at murdering. He did not
grow up. He didn't get any better at thinking through his life. He just has
these hardcore principles that he will not betray,
even if it's to the detriment of all this other shit that he should care
about way more. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But I love this movie.
And the accent too. Terrible. I swear to God. Nick Cage
saw Cape Fear and he was like, I want to do a long hair and
accent movie. And he just like, decided to make this. Like,
I don't understand it at all because it said it was his. Like, everything I
read that that was his choice. Oh, wow. So they were going to let him
just be himself and he's like, no, I need to. Yeah. Or some. I mean,
yeah. I mean, look, I like Nick Cage. He's got the Oscar win.
I think he is an incredibly talented actor, but I think that this is a
scenario where you can look at him and go, hey, buddy, you're not Bobby De
Niro. Yeah. You're just not. He's like. He's like. Like a
better version, but like one of those quarterbacks. Like a Jameis Winston where
he can be amazing and spectacular, but he throws a shit
of interceptions and you just have to live with it. So who's a good example?
I like that analogy, but that is 100% the. The elite
QB. Joe Flacco. Yeah, that's who he is. He's Joe Flacco.
He might win a Super Bowl. He'll have a playoff run. He'll. Yeah, but.
But yeah, it can't be counted on. So that's part of what makes Cage movies
so interesting, because it's like you try to pick apart what came
from the writer and director and what came from them just being like,
fine, Nick, we'll fucking leave it in. Will you just do the next thing?
Okay, wonderful. All right, we got to move through the plot.
Okay, Right, So it gets to the. Gets to the parking lot. They're going to
go home, it's the end of Trisha's shift. But those three idiots from the bar
there making some crude remarks and then. And then, you know, square them up.
Basically. It's. It's elbows up, they got knives. And he at first is, like,
incredibly careful. And just, and just, you know, disarming them, knocking them down, like,
whatever. But he gives one of these. And I remember Everybody in the 90s thinking
that they knew how this worked and how to do this. But basically the palm
of the hand up into the nose, supposedly like jams part of the
nose bone, which is like all cartilage. I don't know how that works, but into
the brain and it kills you. Like that's the idea. Right. And every fifth grader
knew how to do it. Oh, yeah, my dad taught me how to do the
nose bone thrust, brain. Kill, you know, so three on one
fight. Yeah. And he. So he ends up killing this guy, but the switchblade drops
to the ground and his friends, before they run off, grab the knife and run
away. And it doesn't really talk about it, but it's like, okay, that's how there
was a better evidence that it was self defense. It's almost like they
didn't take his word or Monica's word or anybody else's that there
were three men and a knife. And so all it looked like is, there's Poe
and this one guy and he's dead and that's it. And Poe doesn't have a
scratch on him. Right. So it's like. And it's raining, so there's no forensics there.
That's. And okay, that's all true. But it's like there's an eyewitness, like. And then
it's like, oh, but he's his wife. Yeah, but it's not like she can't justify.
She's sober. She's incredible. She's been working there all night. And he's like,
as credible as you could get. You'd think he's probably sober too. But if,
I bet if he took a breath he has a single drink at that bar.
Yeah. But anyway, so he is again, this is before the title card
still, folks, but he, so we see him talk to his lawyer who basically tells
him, hey man, take a plea deal if you don't. He's like, I didn't do
it. I'm not guilty. I want to go to trial. Which if he'd gone to
trial, he goes. He goes home free. Oh yeah, 100%.
No jury convicts this army ranger with all. When all the facts come out.
So. So there's that. But his lawyer convinces him, hey, man, if you go to
trial and we lose, you get like 10 plus years. If you, if you plea
down to like involuntary manslaughter, you'll only get like 3, 4,
tops. You'll be out in a year. Yeah, right. And so he. So he agrees.
And the judge, for whatever reason, no explanation given, throws the book at him.
Yeah. And it's like, you're an Army Ranger. You're a special case. Which is,
by the way, just to make it absolutely clear, I am not a lawyer.
Nick here is not a lawyer. But I have done a little research on this.
There is definitely no precedent in US Law that says that because you're a veteran
or have special training that you are literally treated in regular criminal court
like a completely different class of citizen that needs completely different punishments. Like, that's not
a thing. Like he's not Wolverine. Like, he doesn't have claws. He just has regular
hands and fists. Yes, exactly. Yeah. But he is. He is convicted and
he is sentenced. He pleads. And so then he is sentenced to seven years.
And again. And there's another part that's funky, doesn't make sense, except that it has
to for the movie. He's sentenced to federal time.
There's absolutely no reason why this should be a federal crime. The victim was not
a federal officer. They were not on federal property. It was not about
crossing state lines or drug trafficking or other. Or terrorism or other things where there's,
like, federal statutes, but not state ones or something like that. Right. Like this.
This was a crime. The state of Alabama would have been prosecuting this. This case.
And he should have served time in an Alabama penitentiary. But then that wouldn't give
him the opportunity to get on this. That's right. Right. So. But throwing it out
there. There is absolutely zero reason Cameron Poe should have ended up in California in
a federal prison. He should have been in Alabama somewhere. I will say, though,
all the things we know these days about the Department of Corrections there in Alabama,
he's probably better off having been in California federal prison. The movie would have been
about him fighting to the death for money. In prison. Yeah, in prison.
Yeah. And so he goes to jail and he gets seven years in prison.
Seven. And he goes there to grow his hair out and do yoga
and learn Spanish and stuff. And there's a very silly montage of him, like,
you know, becoming this, like, you know, focused machine. And all he
cares about is his letters from his kid. I will say this. If we're using
this movie as an instructional thing for what to do when you first get to
prison, I believe there's three immediate strikes from Nicholas Cage.
One, hey, baby O ended up being a buddy, but in prison,
you're not going to try to make friends with a person of
a different race. Especially not by giving him food,
which you don't do. You're not supposed to give people stuff and then immediately showing
him a picture of your daughter. It's like, dude, you need
to hire. He's like, too earnest, though. But it never. That doesn't come
back to bite him very much. No, because you're right. It turns out baby's a
good guy and, and a good friend. And so there's no big deal there.
And, and, and may. Look, we don't know exactly how much time passed. No,
not at all. The three things that they're showing him do. It's like, oh,
every other prison thing I've seen says don't do that. You know, it'd be like
a vampire movie where the guy's just eating garlic with a crucifix. Like.
Yeah, you're eating a suntan. Yeah. I do love the learning
Spanish part too. Is that the sentence we hear him learn from
his tapes? Learn Spanish is the most, like, out of touch, ludicrous sentence.
It's like, my wife and I will have our margaritas on the yacht. Like,
when are you gonna need that? That is not dondia salad. Like, you know.
Anyway. All right, so now, now we're kind of into the
main plot of the movie. And there's a plane. Basically, we're with the Department of
Corrections guys and we have this plane that's gonna take kind of the worst of
the worst criminals that we have, and it's going to take them to this new
prison that we have, which we love. New prisons here on movie.
Keep building them. And, and Duncan
Malloy is one of the characters played by Cole. Me. Right. And he's like a
high ranking DEA guy. Correct. And then we've got John Cusack,
who is Vince Larkin. Larkin. And he's a Department of corrections
guy. U.S. marshals. U.S. marshals. But he's also kind of like a. Hey, you know,
our system is what creates these monsters. Like, he'll get a line in here and
there and gets made fun of for it. He's basically a 90s liberal,
quote, unquote. Like, you know, he's. He's into recycling. He's into Earth Day.
He wears sandals with socks, which obviously that's. Only liberals do that. But, you know,
it's like he is. He has pointed out to us as a bit of a
softer, you know, like, like honestly, the. The term bleeding
heart liberal would have been used. It's the stereotypical punching bag for that oh,
granola. You like granola? The food that only certain people. He's the dad
from Family Ties. Yeah, basically. Right. So, but. So, yeah, so he's U.S.
marshals, and then his boss is involved, but kind of a pushover. And then,
yeah. Cole Meaney's character, Duncan Malloy, is dea. So the point about this is like,
all right, there's this plane in Vacaville, California, at a supermax prison. There isn't
one of those there, I don't think, but whatever. They are going to load up
the people. Some of the people they have there, including Cyrus the Virus, Diamond Dog,
a couple other people. They're going to take them to Carson City where they're picking
up another group of people, and that's going to include additional
psychos like Swamp Thing and Garland Green and a bunch of other people. Right.
We'll get to all that as they approve. But the plan then is then they'll
leave. Leave Carson City, Nevada, and fly all the way to Alabama, where that's
where Cam Cameron gets to just, like, leave. Like, that's him getting. He'll go to
the prison, get checked in, but then immediately be like, straight because it's back home.
And then all the other people are going to
this brand new supermax there in Alabama. So that's the whole reason. That's the whole
thing about getting Po back to Alabama is that. Is that. That's why he's on
the flight is. It's like. It's like a ride home, which is like. I feel
like that wouldn't happen as well. But whatever that. It works enough. It's. Yeah,
it's whatever. We don't. We have to suspend much disbelief here,
but. And the DEA is involved because they have an undercover agent on
the flight who's trying to, I think, get close to one of the subsequent
pickups. Who's like a main cartel, right? One of the guys getting picked
up in Carson City, San Dino, he is the son of, like, the head of
one of the big cartels out of Colombia. And so what they're trying to do
is get him to spill anything that he can,
because then. And again, this is a great little piece of like, pre 9 11,
pre Department of Homeland Security interagency rivalry
is that Malloy is like, I'll be damned if the FBI gets their hands
on him once he gets into this supermax prison. That's the dea. This is their
last chance to be the ones to get the information to go get his dad
or something like that or whatever it is. They're trying to do. After that,
it becomes the FBI's, like, you know, game to play. And he doesn't
want that. Right. It's like the DEA's Hail Mary to, like, get this. It's like,
doesn't have anything to do with, like, getting the criminal busted or.
Or whatever. It's all about our agency gets it. It's our caller. Da, da,
da. Which is a very pre 911 sort of attitude, but. But was very common,
it seems, at least from movies and TV in the 90s. Yeah, I know for
sure. So that's basically it. We hear a little bit about who are some of
the people getting on. Like I said, so John Malkovich is Cyrus the Virus.
Just a horrible person altogether. There's Danny Trejo's Johnny 23,
a serial rapist. There's Ving Rhames, Diamond Dog, a black militant who
killed a whole bunch of people. And then a handful of other guys, a guy
named Billy. Billy Bedlam. Yeah. Billy Bedlam is there. And he's again, just. He's like,
crazy murderer. Yeah. Cyrus, actually, I think, was in jail, hadn't killed anyone
outside of prison, but then killed 17 people or something. He gave some crazy number
and like. He killed three times or something, like. Yeah. So he's just.
Yeah, these are all the people. Great scene, though. I. I love this
type of scene in this kind of movie where it's just running through, like,
the dossier and you're learning all the guidance. And then
finally when Cameron Poe steps off the bus to get onto the plane and
the breeze hits his hair and the sun hits his face at the right angle
and we get these few seconds of him just looking so satisfied. To have the
sun be hitting his face is another Nick Cage. So fucking
funny. And only would have come from him. That moment wouldn't have been as
memorable coming from Stallone getting off the plane, being like, oh, I haven't
seen that thing in years. Yes, really, really funny.
So before they can all get on the plane to leave Vacaville and go to
Carson City, Malloy wants his undercover agent to bring a gun. He's like, my.
You know, my people don't go anywhere without their weapons or whatever. And Cusack and
his boss are like, no, no, no, no, no. There is a single pistol in
the cockpit and there is an arsenal in the belly of the plane, but no
other weapons come on board, period. Yeah. And he gives up the gun. They're like,
okay, fine. Because he said, well, my. My man doesn't get on the plane without
his Gun. He's like, well, then he doesn't get on the plan. Plane. Yeah,
your choice. Right. But when it's time. Because now what? They also mention the.
The undercover guy. Like, they don't. Nobody knows, not even the other guards know that
he's not a prisoner. Right. They're all going to treat him just like a prisoner
so that there's no chance of things slipping up. Malloy is the one who then,
like, oh, I'll pat this one down, or whatever. And he checks his mouth,
whatever. And he slides a gun back into his ankle, like, into his sock or
whatever. So he is bringing a gun on board. Obviously. A terrible idea. Gee,
I wonder if that'll come back to hunt them. Oh, my God. Yes, it does.
And then so I love. They're on the plane, and there's a guard, like,
giving a bunch of info about, like, this is what you're going to do.
You're going to listen to me. You're going to shut up. You're going to do
this. Da, da. Whatever. And the one guy is like, he's like, you spit on
us. You do anything, like, we have no problem, you know, like. Like securing you
or whatever. And there's this guy who, like, spits on me, goes like, you know,
you pig. And the guy just goes, gag and bag this Nazi muffin.
Yeah, the guy's got, like, SS tattooed on his neck. Yeah. They like, tape his
mouth, throw the spit bag over his head. Exactly. Yeah. That's a.
That's a satisfying guy to see. Get it at that point. And not
knowing that, he's probably, like, the third best guy in the entire flight. And Nazi
muffin is classic. I do love a good Nazi muffin is. Because how do you
come back from that? Right.
So, yeah, we're on the plane, and then some of the passengers are in kind
of regular seats, cuffed up, and some are in these special cells.
Diamond Dog, Cyrus, Diamond Dog, Billy Bedlam are in there. And it
kind of shows. Cyrus has, like, a little pin, like, a little piece of metal
under his skin that he's going for. And all the guys are, like, doing.
Right? Yeah, yeah. Both he and Diamond Dog have got, like, pins in the
meat of their, like, palm, and they're pulling them out. Yeah. And then we
have Chappelle's character. Pinball. Pinball, yeah. And so
they're doing that. Chappelle is just in a regular seat, and he starts, like,
regurgitating, pulls something out of his mouth, and it's like a little, like,
container of fuel in A match that's inside a condom that he regurgitates.
And he lights the guy next to him on fire. Yes. As the distraction.
Very distracting. That is fair. I'm a little concerned with,
like, that little amount of fuel can really just blow somebody up that much.
I mean, it's like there's kerosene probably, or something like that. Lighter fluid,
basically. And just. Yeah, that stuff just went. This guy's on fire. Now. They got.
Now the guards are rushing and they're opening gates and they're moving to, like,
throughout the plane. At which point both Diamond Dog and Cyrus
have gotten their cuffs off with those little pins. Because as we all know,
picking the lock of a handcuff is incredibly simple. Just stick anything in there.
Yeah. Anything that fits in there, just wiggle it around, like four or five seconds.
Seconds. That should be it. If you're ever captured somewhere, just.
Just find any old stick or anything. You can shove it in. Yeah. Swallow a
paperclip, something like that, you know. Exactly.
Yeah. And these cages are only open. There's no, like, double key situation.
It seems like it's a lever on the door that opens that. So Chappelle
is able to get over and, like, let these guys out. And so then Cyrus
Malkovich has got, like, one of his. He's got the handcuffs on him, so it's
open. And he kills a guard by jamming the, like, opened handcuff into
his neck, which I just thought was a. Like. That is some brutal work,
Right? Gnarly. Pretty crazy. So they.
They do all this. They're. They're letting everybody out of their cages. They're beating people
up. They're taking the guards hostage, like, all this kind of stuff. And then the.
The one of the pilots tries to come out with the gun from the cockpit
and he gets in a fight with Cyrus, I believe. Right. And Cyrus is able
to, like, shoot him. Like. Like turn the gun against him and shoot him.
So one of the pilots is now dead. And Cyrus has ostensibly or believed to
be the only gun on the. On the plane. Right. Cause the prisoners don't know
that there's an arsenal in the underbelly. Right. And they don't know that the
undercover de. Agent has brought a gun on, obviously. So there's that. So Cyrus is.
And he does one. Something that happens in a lot of movies that we'll be
talking about soon is welcome to the movie title. Yes.
Because Cyrus goes, welcome to Con Air. So we
get that moment. It's like, that's the
things that they film Just to like make sure that's in the trailer, we need
a 30 second trailer. That's going to do it. So good. Yeah. And this is
a brutal scene. One thing I do want to point out, one of the guards
on the flight, for some reason I feel like, you know, it makes the movie
more interesting in real life. This wouldn't and shouldn't happen on this type of flight.
But is a female guard, right. And it's just like, I'm sorry, some of these
guys are going to go insane if there's any woman near them. And it's better
to not do that. So, you know, she's in jeopardy now. Some of the guards
have been killed and some have just been like cuffed and, and restrained in the
back of there. And Johnny 23, the Danny Trejo character who's like, you know,
a serial rapist, he has tattoo to indicate his charges and stuff, is.
Has already been threatening towards this guard. So this is something happening.
The other thing, and this, this is fucking stupid. This should
not be in the movie. All right, okay, so Baby O, Nick Cage's
buddy, he's a diabetic. That's right. And he didn't get his
insulin shot before the flight. And they're like, oh, don't worry, we'll give it to
you in the flight. And then this melee happens, happens, and he's like, increasingly,
he's just the sweatiest person that's ever been on film. And it
sucks because that actor, he was Bubba in Forrest Gump,
right? Good actor. He's had a long career. He's been in a lot of shit
in this movie. He has nothing to do except for Shiver and be fucking
annoying. Oh, the plot's supposed to happen. Oh, I better go check on Bubba again.
And at a certain point, like, the stakes are so high that why would you
give a shit about this guy giving. Getting his insulin shot anymore? So I feel
like it's distracting. In a movie that could have been trimmed in certain places,
I think that whole part could just be like, gone. For a
while, I think. I'll bet you, if I had to wager, I bet there is
a version of this script that existed where there was no Baby O character.
He had no friend, he was a complete loner in prison, survived just by being
completely alone. And then in the original version of the script,
he. When Cameron, when Poe has a chance in a little bit to get off
the plane and be out of all this, he decides
to stay strictly for the female guard, right? And I feel like they had
to bridge. Like, he needed someone to save during that time from getting out of
jail to needing. No, no, no more. That. That wouldn't have been enough for him.
Like. Like. Like, for. Let's make it believable. Because he had no previous relationship.
No previous relationship with the guard. Yeah. He might feel bad that she's in incredible
danger, but she has. He has a wife and daughter to get home to.
Like, but if you combine that and then also, like, basically, the one friend in
the world he has, he literally says later, I trust two men, and one of
them's me. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to believe the other one's baby.
Oh, it's. It. That was in. The idea was that that
would be enough to keep him there. So we had to have this character who
is very vulnerable, very, you know, unable to, like, take care
of himself, is not going to be able to defend himself, not be able to
take care of himself, because he's going into, you know, basically spending half the movie
going into insulin shock, like, without his. Any insulin. And so I
think that's why it's there. I agree with you that. That, like, feels like
it doesn't really work necessarily, but, like, when they're flashing. Back to it later,
it's like, oh, we're. We're past this. Like, this could have gotten us to a
point. And maybe he got the shot and got him off the plane or.
Or to have him die, even. Yeah, like, have him. Have him get shot by
Cyrus or something. And then that gives Poe even more impetus to, like, now get
revenge. Maybe that would have been more interesting than continuing to have Baby O like,
for so long, be almost dying, you know? All right,
that's. I just. This was a beef that I had with it.
But. But, yeah. So basically. So Cyrus has a gun, and as Pinball
is letting the DEA agent, who doesn't know is a DEA agent free from his
restraints, that guy pulls his gun and puts it to Pinball's head and goes,
cyrus, you know, dea freeze. Basically just like, dude, you are.
Read the room. You are not in here. Yeah, but he's basically like, whatever.
And he goes, I'm gonna kill this guy. And Cyrus is like, you think I
give a crap about a crackhead or whatever? He's like, do whatever you want.
Want. And then there's a little, like,
struggle, and they're able to basically, like, Pinball's able to, like, duck, and then Cyrus
is able to shoot the de. Agent. So they kill him, and they get a
second Gun. So now there's two guns and I love it. Pinball's got the gun.
The second one, the one the agent has, and he. And he goes up to
Cyrus and goes, hey, Cyrus, man, you didn't mean what you said, did you,
about that. And he goes, let me have that gun. He hands me. Hell yes,
I meant it really good. I love that. Hell yes, I meant
it. And Cameron Poe intervened during this scene for some reason. Like, he'd go up
to the de agent and he's. He's like, you're in a situation you can't control.
You know that, right? He wasn't really instructing him on how
to help. He was just kind of like. He's like, yeah, I have a fucking
internal monologue. I know what's going on here. I don't need it
in an idiot's voice too. I'm well aware of how fucked I am, thank you
very much. I'm trying to find a way out of this. Yeah, that's right,
because that's how he got distracted, basically, was Poe kind of like tried to talk
to him and then another guy snuck up on him and actually got shot.
Pinball gets over away. Cyrus shoots the cop. Da da da da da. So.
So this leg of the flight is not very long. No. Because it's only vacuole
to Carson City, Nevada. Very short. So they're. Yeah, so they're. They're coming up to
the point and they. We find out that six men are supposed to get off
the plane. Correct. As part of this transfer. And basically three
of the guys that are supposed to get off are dead. You know, the Nazi
guy. Like various guys that got shot. So we need three volunteers to get off
and they have to be white guys, right? Because that's what they're expecting. Because that's
what they. They check. Nothing else other than white or black. Like, I guess that's
probably on their sheet. Yeah, I'm sure race is on there, whatever. But they don't
even. When they get to the point where they're actually swapping people, they don't seem
to do anything looking at these guys whatsoever. They don't check their mouths or they're
all bagged and gagged, so they're just walking them on to the next bus,
whatever. I don't think it would have mattered until hours later potential as they're being
like, processed. But by then people would have noticed. Oh, this is not. This is
a guard or whatever. Like this guy. So. Yeah. So Cameron and baby. Oh,
they. They're like, okay, cool. This is our way off. We can volunteer here.
Get off. But then they can't be. Because, you know, because Michael T. Yeah,
because, baby, you can't go. And. And one of the guys that they have to
send out, they're like, okay, we're short a white guy. We're going to use this
guard. Yeah, the guy from the beginning who was doing the whole, like, tough guy
speech and, you know, got the Nazi muffin.
So. So, yeah, so they do this prisoner exchange and there's a sandstorm that's
right. Going on at the time, too. So it's very, like, unclear what's happening.
They're loading some guys on. And at the same time,
we have the John Cusack character who's kind of, like,
investigating. I don't know why they're looking in Cyrus cell. Or maybe they're
just doing a cell inspection after he's left. Like a standard inspection of
a cell that you would do. That's a good question. The guard kind of discovers
this chalkiness in the brick and there's this fake brick and he finds
all this shit, which includes a blueprint for an airplane and all this.
A thing that says Con Air by Cyrus the virus from Kevin
McAllister's fucking burglary plan. And a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook and
a couple other things. You wouldn't rip the COVID off if you had a piece
of contraband. Like, have it say, you know, Peter Rabbit or something.
Right. I also love this real quick, the concept of, like, this. This. This hidey
hole that Cyrus supposedly made for himself. I'm. Maybe.
Is it just a thing where, like, there was a dresser or bed in front
of it normally? Because he obviously wasn't putting that fake brick, like, in place.
It was like. He must have sealed it back up. Yeah. When he was done.
But then I don't. It's. It's a little odd, I guess. He just moved furniture
around. No, normally. But, yeah, it's a very convoluted. It's sort of like at the
end of Shawshank where you're like, well, how did he, like, make the poster go
back over the wall after he. It's sort of like, what is that? What.
This doesn't really make sense. But then Cyrus did the whole Shawshank thing
just for storage. Yeah, right. Exactly. In his storage. It's like, luckily there's not a
cell next door. I guess, like, I don't know. There's a little space there,
but. Yeah, so. So Cusack. Larkin is there and
he's like, hey, you know, looking all this stuff. And then he's like,
I'm gonna go do this. I gotta go talk to somebody. Don't touch anything.
Don't touch anything. And one of the guards, of course, picks up like a little
doll or something. Right. And. Or no. Starts messing with it. Something.
Yeah. And it. And it. Was it a doll? No, no, it was a box
that said do not open. Yes. And he opens it. And I love a very
Hollywood movie thing. If you see a couple of liquids start to bubble and mix
and then it's like. And just explodes. So. Yeah. So they
know like Cyrus was planning something. He had a blueprint of the plane somehow.
Like there's all this stuff. They basically know that at this point that there's been
trouble on the flight. Yeah. But they're not positive that there's been an
issue until after they land. So they land and they're doing this. All this prison,
prisoner transfer. A guy getting on his Swamp Thing.
MC Ganey one love that actor. Love him so much. And he's gonna. He apparently
is a pilot. So he gets to come on and fly a plane. And you
know, there's like all these other people going on. And there's a last second addition
that they nobody planned for. And Garland Green, or as I like to call him,
Teemu Hannibal Lecter, gets pulled onto the flag played
by Steve Buscemi. And he gets pulled on. He's got an even more crazy get
up on a handcart, basically, than even
Lecter had. But yeah, like he gets to come on the flight and it's Steve
Buscemi. And all they say is, like, he killed 31 people. I mean, some astronomical
crazy number. Right. We don't really hear anything even about why he just did,
apparently. So. And they're handling him like they handle the velociraptors
in Jurassic Park. Like they're doing some serious, like,
distancing from this guy. Yeah. And so at the same time
as they're stopped, they anticipate the future problem of there's a
transponder in the plane. Right. And we have to get rid of it. Yes.
So they send Pinball, Chappelle's character. It was actually his suggestion.
Yeah. This sponder is trans. Got to get it off the plane.
There's a transponder on the plane. I got to get rid of it.
So he goes and he goes to stick it in another
plane that's in one of the hangars and he ends. Up like scenic tours.
Yeah. And he has A up, kind of like hitting on a woman there.
So he gets delayed a bit getting back. And so now there's kind of this
convolution or this culmination of several things happening where the authorities have now realized there
is a problem, that it is not that the plane is not in their control.
They start sending people to the airfield to try to stop them. But everybody
getting on the plane, including Swamp Thing, who's flying it, realizes that that's happening.
So they all rush back onto the plane to start getting it up into the
air. Well, Pinball hears the sound of the plane starting up, and he rushes out
to go chase it down, down, but the plane's already going. He actually ends up
getting run over by some landing gear and
kind of sucked up into the plane. Into the landing gear.
Poor guy. Yeah. Rough, rough go of it there. And one
of the things that Poe was able to do. So as they were putting the
fake prisoners off the plane, the guy who was the guard who had been gagged
and bagged. Oh, yeah, yeah. Cameron Poe had taken the tape recorder from the DEA
agent and shoved it in that guy's, like, jacket. So he's like, good. As soon
as they take these guys off, they're gonna respectfully pat them down. They're gonna find
this, and we're gonna be good. And instead, you know, he gets off on the
plane, and this guy's struggling, and the prison guard, you know,
being as empathetic, says, shut the fuck up, and just starts, you know, hitting him
with his stick. And it breaks the tape recorder. Anyway, so they've made
a discovery. So this is happening just to your point. Yeah. As the plane's about
to take off, the ground is realizing, oh, shit. And then there's some communication
there that the guards who are offloading the prisoners are not guards,
prisoners. So Malkovich gets to shoot a guy in the head. Oh,
that's right. Because they send a guy over, be like, hey, just slow him down.
Just delay him. He goes, hey, wanted to talk about. Da, da, da.
And then they go, yeah. So that poor guy, whoever he was. So,
yeah, so they. They. They talk about shooting the plane down. They're going to chase
the plane. Oh, we got the transponder. We know where it is. So they.
They send up some Apache helicopters, basically, or whatever they are to go
take down the plane. And Malloy and for some reason, Larkin, John Cusack's
boss. Go there? Yeah. And they chase him down. And.
But he's kind of like. I don't like even Larkin's Kind of like, that doesn't
sound right. Like, why are they heading to Arizona? This seems so strange because that's
the transponder. Now this Uncle Bob Scenic Tours flight has actually taken off and
they're able to track the. What they think is the Con Air transponder. So they're
going to go and try to shoot it down. Meanwhile, Con Air is in the
air. And Billy Bedlam doesn't really believe Cameron Post
story when he stayed on board. You know, we know it was because he wanted
to pursue, protect the guard and baby. Oh. But he had to give them a
story. And he said, oh, I got 15 years left. Like, I want that sweet
taste of freedom. And Billy says, hey, if you had 15
years, you would have been on a block or whatever. Yeah, that's where I was.
I don't remember seeing you. And he's like, well, that's funny. There were 160 prisoners
there. I didn't see you either, kind of thing. But Billy doesn't buy it.
You get the sense Billy shouldn't. Yeah, you get the sense he's the kind of
guy that probably knew every thing that went on in that cell block. Right.
So. So there's that. And so he's down in the. In the hold and Billy
is snooping through stuff and he finds po's
box of personal effects, which includes a bunny that he's bought for his daughter,
a note, a card from her, and also his letter from the
parole board, his parole letter. Cameron Poe, you've been paroled. You're. Blah, blah, blah,
blah. So now Billy knows this is wrong, but he's also got the.
His hands on the bunny. And Poe has gone down into the hold after him.
Him to then deliver. Easily the best line in the movie. Oh, yeah, when Cameron
Post says, put the bunny back in the box
really good. I can't tell if I'm doing a Forrest Gump impression or Cameron pro
impression. But either way, I can't tell if Nick Cage was doing a forest gump.
So. But they fight, and it's actually an interesting fight because they're ducked down.
You gotta. You can't stand up. Yeah, they're both pretty tall guys, you know,
and so. And they're. They're having to crouch and fight to the. There's a lot
of, like, grappling and. Sort of ironically, it reminded me of being John Malkovich.
Yeah. With like, the mini, little mini rooms. Oh, we skipped something,
though, before that going down there. Ving rhames. Diamond Dog goes down with
Poe. They're looking for something, and they find. Oh, no, that's right. The. The Swamp
Thing tells them, hey, the landing gear won't go all the way up. We're not
going fast enough because the landing gear, they find Pinball stuck in it, and they
got to shove him down, basically just like, drop him through the thing so the
thing can close. But in the meantime, what with Diamond Dog's back
turn, Poe is able to write the note, a note on his white shirt,
Pinball shirt, that says, like, Vince Larkin,
Lerner Airfield, because that's where they're headed, is Lerner Airfield somewhere in the desert,
in the Mojave Desert in California. Not near. Or maybe Nevada, whatever. Not near anything.
You know, he said like 50 or 60 miles from anything remotely
like Authority, basically. Right. That's where they're going to pick up a different plane.
This is the Sandino D deal. This is why this is all happening, is that
Cyrus has been working with Sandino's father to get him out, and they're
all going to get rewarded. That's the plan, right? So they have to go to
this place, Lerner Airfield. So Poe has written that on Pinball. Shirt dropped him down,
he falls. I think they're flying over Fresno at the time, I believe.
Fresno. And, and. And the guy drops Prinball does. Onto a car
in the middle of an intersection. Kind of a funny thing. Like the passenger of
the car, the guy, the car had just been pooped on, and then the wife's
like, oh, oh, bird poop. That's good luck. And then the body crashes through.
So kind of a cool. Kind of a cool effect there. Yeah. So very important
for the plot. And the reason that Poe knew to write Vince Larkin's name
is when he was in the cockpit earlier, he had overheard the
radio chatter. That's right. He knew, like, who to send it to. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, good point. Yeah. So Billy Bedlam is he
discovered Poe and he's outy now. So Poe stashed his body, so he
should have thrown him through the hole, but maybe the landing gear came up soon
as it was unclogged. Yeah, as soon as Poe Pinball came out, the linear went
up. The plane started flying better. You wouldn't have been able, I don't think,
to open it again from there, or that would have caused a bunch of suspicion
and, like, what the hell happened? Right? So he does kind of stash him behind
some boxes where he's sure to smell great.
But yeah, so they. So now Po goes back up,
and he's Sitting with Baby oh, who's not doing great. He's, you know, he needs
his insulin. He's not getting it. He's not doing great. But they're looking over at
Carlin Green. I love this line. Baby oh. Goes. What's wrong with him? And Po
says this. My first thought would be a lot.
Yes. And. And garlic green.
I mean, I think the. The character is very funny because his
lines all contribute to it, you know? And so he comes back. When Po comes
back after killing Billy Bed Garland turns over to him. He's like, two men went
down, one came up. He's observing everything that's going on, but not really
participating in. Yeah, yeah. Well, because he definitely wasn't a. He wasn't planned
for, right? Like, Cyrus and Diamond Dog didn't know he was coming, and it was
all last minute, so he's not really part of this. But they're also just like.
Like, Cyrus even says something about, like, I'm a huge fan of your work or
like, whatever, you know, because of course he does. Yeah. So. So in the pursuit
of the plane now, so we've got. We've got the helicopters which are all following
this tour plane, right? And then we've got. Larkin receives this message
and he's like, okay, I gotta get to Lerner Airfield. And he
goes to one of the mechanics, he's like, I need a plane or a helicopter.
And the guy's like, yeah, me too. All out. Out. Fresh out. So he's like,
oh, you got a fast car. You could drive there. So this is a great
scene where Larkin runs out and he's got like a VW Golf or something like
that. Some hatchback vw, dirty as shit, looks terrible. Running on biodiesel.
And then he looks at it, and then he sees. He sees Coleman's
car there. This, like, 67 Corvette, like, mint condition.
Beautiful. And he's like, fuck that, and gets in there and peels away, which.
Why did. Why does Malloy not have his own keys? Why did he leave the
keys in that car? That's insane. The license plate, by the way, says as kicker.
Like, as kicker. Because Malloy's a super douchebag.
Yeah. But so basically he. Because the guy says, like, oh, well, if you got
a fast car, you get there in like 50 minutes or, like, whatever. And so
he just starts driving right there. And, I mean, ostensibly now he's in Vacaville,
right? You cannot get to Fresno from Vacaville
in any amount of reasonable time. It's very strange change. But also, at Some point
in here. Trisha has been flown from Alabama to California. Yeah. Because Larkin met
with her to talk about, like, I think your husband is like, stayed on board
when he didn't need to. Maybe you could help me understand why. And she's like,
well, I don't know either. But, you know, he's always trying to help people or
whatever. Right? Yeah. Just so they give an idea that Larkin now thinks. Yeah,
I think. I think. Right. I think if I can hold this guy, we can
maybe make something happen. And so there's that. As they're about to land in this
airfield, which is a really cool setting. It's like good abandoned, like, airplane junkyard.
Like, cool there. And. And Garland Bumi is
getting into Po's head, you know, with everything. And you could tell just Po cannot
deal. He's a guy that would like, storm out of a counseling session like,
five minutes in, you know, he just can't examine himself that much. But then he
starts being like, oh, say psychotic, lunatic. Please leave
me alone. It's my daughter's birthday. It's like, don't talk about that shit.
What is wrong with you? Do not not give the crazy man personal information.
That is that again. Same thing that Clarice Starling was
told. Don't tell him anything personal. This is. This is Teemu. Hannibal Lecter, but it's
basically Hannibal Lecter. Don't tell him anything. Cameron, stop. The key under
my mat is not for you. It's from my wife, so do not use it
to enter my house. Like, Jesus Christ, dude. I will also mention,
as we're just getting to Learner Airfield, I did. I want to notice this when
it happens, but the price of gas, the price. 106. 103 for
regular. I think 107 or something. Or 106 for premium. That was for
the. For the 89 octane. Yeah. Dollar and three cents, man. That is wild.
Love to see. But yeah. So. So they are coming into Learner Airfield.
They do not have enough gas. Like, they're running out of gas.
That's. It's. You know, they just need to get down to the ground, basically.
And it's. And Swamp Thing tells them, like, this is not gonna be a soft
landing. We're gonna do our best. Right? But as they're even trying to land,
they have an additional problem where a tiny little jet or a little plane,
little prop plane, is also landing. Landing based on the same Runway from the opposite
angle. And so Swamp Thing, which I thought this was amazing. They here's here's
my thought. They're leaving that plane there. In their plan, they're leaving Conair the
plane at Lerner Airfield. They're taking a plane with San Dino's men to leave
the country to go to Columbia. So why do they give a crap either about
that man in that little prop jet or the condition of their own plane?
Why wouldn't they just stay on the ground and crash right through it? But they
don't. Yeah. Up to go kind of over the plane that's coming,
ends up having to go back down and then starts crashing through stuff because now
there's not enough Runway. And the classic. They even do this in the Star Tours
attraction at Disneyland. Almost hitting the propane tank right as
you come to a stop. Just so close. We almost all blew up. You know
the guy, the guy flying that plane, it showed him flying the plane. He's trying
to radio into the tower. He's like, hey, I'm landing. Make sure it's safe.
And there's like, the dash can full of crushed beer cans on his plane.
And. And at the same time, Larkin is there. Right.
He stashed the Corvette in a little garage. And he goes up to the tower
and he hears this call coming in. And he sees that the dispatcher has been
shot. So, you know, probably Santino's or Sandino's.
Sandino, yeah. I think is what it is. Whatever. The cartel guys. Yes. So,
yeah, very funny. But, yeah, he could have exploded that plane and gone through it.
Based on what we see later on. Absolutely. When he's just going through, like,
a line of SUVs that are just exploding on sides of him, it's like,
shit. Yeah. The indestructible nature of the plane, the fact that he did
anything to avoid that little tiny prop plane is really insane in retrospect.
Yeah. Really funny. Okay, so we are here now.
So there's a couple things happening. So they're offloading the plane. They think we're going
to get a ride with the cartel guys. We don't need this plane anymore.
And Diamond Dog's like, cool, I can't wait to kill these prison guards.
And he brings them out. He's about to execute them. Him. And with some quick
thinking, Cameron Poe's like, oh, that's the only leverage we have. Right,
right. How well do you know this Sandino guy? It's like he's making good
points. Actually pretty savvy for the first time in this. That's true. Right. It really
is a very, like, high level Intelligence sort of play like he. Knows what will
convince this guy. Right? Right. He's not trying to appeal to morality or that
wouldn't work. So he's able to save their lives. And they've sent various guys on
different quests, and they say, po, go find the fuel truck. And he's
also looking for a syringe because the main plot of the movie, the most
important thing, his friend needs medicine. Right. I will say there's a little.
A couple. Little, like, details here. So, like, they land, and immediately Cyrus was expecting
the plane to be sitting there waiting for all of them, ready to go.
And he's saying, dino, where's the plane? He's like, I'll be here. Don't worry,
Cyrus. It'll be here. So he's starting to already get a little antsy, which is
why when Poe mentions, hey, how well do you know this guy? We should have
some leverage. Cyrus goes, yeah, Diamond Dog, put the gun away. Let's hold on to
these guys until we're sure we don't need them. And then the whole fuel truck
thing, that wasn't part of the plan either, but it was like, hey, we're going
to have to refuel this plane, and we're just gonna go. We're not gonna wait
here. Yeah, like, I'm not sitting around. We'll take this plane to Columbia. We just
need to refuel it. So Po, go find the fuel truck. But while Po is
going and finding the fuel truck, what he actually stumbles upon is another little
private jet in a hangar and several men with guns. Yes, at least three,
I think, but they're speaking Spanish. How can he understand them? Right.
Luckily, he learned all about, my wife and I will take our margaritas on
the yacht. So, yeah, he can speak Spanish, so he tries to, like, reason with
them or whatever. But basically, Larkin shows up at the
same hangar and is like, you know, like, freeze or
whatever. And that starts, like. Everybody gets distracted. He starts attacking. Larkin's shooting.
They're shooting. Like there's all this stuff happening or whatever. And basically,
Poe and Larkin are able to put down the three cartel guys. And Poe gets
a gun and one from one of them. And now he's got a gun on
Larkin Larson and has a gun on him. And I really. One of John Cusack's
best moments in this movie is sort of like,
can I put this gun down? And Poe's like, you can go ahead.
I'm not putting mine down. You know? And it's like. And that's when he says,
I only trust two men in this world now. I'm one of them. You're not
the other one. The other one's not you. The other one's not you. And it's
like. And I'm guessing he's referring to baby O. Like, I'm not positive, but I
think that's what we're supposed to believe. There wouldn't be somebody else. Is he saying
God? Like, God's the other person he trusts? I don't know. Know. But anyway,
so. So when Po is first encountered by these cartel
guys, when they discover him, the guy pulls his gun out. He's got it on
Poe. Oh, that's right. And Poe's solution there, he's like, you pull that trigger,
there's going to be 20 angry cons that'll hear you, whatever. And then the
guy just looks at him and very casually screws a silencer onto the gun.
I love that scene. It's a good moment.
So, yeah. So then. So, yeah, he does the whole, like, the other one's not
you kind of thing. But basically, at this point,
the, like, Sandino saw Po run into the hangar with where he
knows his plane is. Like, what we're finding out now is that the
whole point of Sandino was going to, like, abandon these guys. Right? Just be taken
back to Columbia by himself. Everybody else could sit here and rot. Nobody's getting any
money. There's no anything. They were all promised, like, millions of dollars or something,
whatever. That's all. And so Sandino sees Po run into that hangar
and gets real nervous because he's like, oh, my God, I was going to find.
Yeah. And so then he heads that way after posement. Gone for a few
minutes. And basically there was one other guy inside the private jet room.
Go. Basically, the pilot. He wasn't out there because he's not like a hitman.
He's not like a cartel soldier. So he was just waiting in the plane.
Sandino gets to that hangar, gets into it, and they bust out. And now everybody's
noticing what the hell is going on. Yeah. And I don't even remember exactly
how they stop it. Yeah. What's the. So. So the plane's going, right?
Yeah. And. And then Larkin sees it and he's like, oh, shit, I gotta stop.
I know exactly what to do. And he runs to, like, a crane that's kind
of in the path that the plane is going down within half a second.
Knows exactly how to lower the arm on the crane. He lowers it to the
perfect height to chop off the Tail of the plane.
So this plane is like, it's in half and it goes and it crashes
into the fuel station and then there's all this gas spraying around.
Yeah. And so Sandino is like hanging out. The pilot's dead.
Sandino's hanging out the back of it. Cyrus runs up to him and Dino's
like, please. Sigh. And Cyrus goes Anara and
shoots. Oh, he throws. He throws. He takes a cigarette
from the other guy's mouth. Yeah. Swamp Thing's mouth and throws it into. That's what
it is. But it's like, oh my God. Please. Sigh.
So dumb. That's one of those things though, that this movie, it's like,
thank you for going there. Oh yeah, no, it's great. Great. I'm glad.
Stupid. I'm glad it's that dumb. I agree. Actually, I think we missed
one little thing. It'll. It'll become a more important in a moment. But at some
point while all these guys are trying to dig the plane out or whatever,
Garland wanders off and the, the most tense.
And I remember from the first time watching this movie, the most tense piece
of this movie is that he sits down and starts chatting with this dirty
little maybe six or seven year old girl playing with dolls. Dolls sitting in an
empty dry swimming pool. Yeah, right. And she's like doing like a tea party with
her dolls and invites him to join him. And all we know of this guy
is that he's an absolute lunatic psychotic who's killed 30 plus people. And I'm like
immediately thinking, oh my God, they're gonna kill this little girl. He's gonna kill this
little girl or, or worse, I gotta know. But oh my God. Or take her
or whatever. Yeah. With like, I mean holy, like I'm so nervous for this girl.
Definitely. And they really did a fantastic job of like making
us wonder. Right. About what is going on. Totally. To this little girl.
They dragged it out as long as they could, I think. Yeah. So now basically
the cops are coming. So. So, so there's off in the distance. So Danny Trejo,
Johnny23 has been sent up to the top of the tower to keep an eye
out, basically. And there's now dust all way off in the distance. Right. It's coming
and they're surrounded by deserts. You can see for miles and miles and miles and
miles. And you know that the big dust getting kicked up like that. There's vehicles
coming and there's no reason why there would be a caravan of vehicles coming unless
they're coming, coming for them. Right. So he yells down, we've got company. We've got
company. You know, Diamond Dog goes and checks it out. Cyrus goes and checks it
out. We've got maybe 10, maybe 12 minutes tops. Dog says, so they. Now they
need to plan and they. Make a sweet little model. Oh, yeah, that's right.
So Cyrus makes like a little model using bits of junk that look very,
very much like the piece they found to represent the airplane was great.
You know, they really. They really had some nice little things.
So another funny moment in there where he's pointing out, okay, this is where
the cops are going to come in. This is the plane, or whatever.
And then one of the prisoners is like, well, what's this rock? And he's like,
that's just a rock. And he kicks it out of the way.
Funny, funny stuff. So, yeah, they're on their way.
They have 10 minutes. And the plan that they kind of figure out is we're
going to create this death chamber, essentially. We can lead them down this corridor and
we have gas, we have all kinds of weapons. Because in the belly of the
plane there was this arsenal. So now they have access to that. And they found
it right away, which, like, maybe they did know it was there. Although if they
knew it was there, why would. No, I think they just went looking. Well,
they were digging through other, like. Yeah, they were digging through sunglasses and all that
stuff. So. So they find this, like, arsenal. It's got grenade launchers,
shotguns, rifles, machine guns, like all kinds of stuff.
And so they all fill up. Yeah, they're going to try to destroy the front
vehicle in. You know, disable or destroy the front vehicle in the caravan, then the
rear vehicle in the caravan. And that will trap everybody in the boneyard. And you
gotta love when the only way to get to a place is to drive
through something called the boneyard. This is literally the part of the pride lands that
the fucking lions don't control, for God's sake. Like, this is like the darkness
touches, you know, whatever. So, yeah, but they got to go. You know, the cops
have to come through the boneyard, so they're going to pincer attack them, whatever little
killing fields right there. And this, like, that's basically what happens. This,
they all hide. The cops show up. And it's like cops and army and all
kinds. I mean, it's like military fatigue. It's so many guys. I don't know what
it was, but it's a bunch of dudes, dudes a bunch of trucks and,
you know, good tension, too. Because it keeps flashing to the various, like, propane cylinders
that they've opened. I don't know why there'd be that many full propane cylinders there.
That is very strange, because there's pro. You would expect there to be one of
those really big sort of tanks you fill from, or. Sure. You know, run a
building from or whatever. And you could fill your little ones from that. Yeah.
Why are there so many five gallons? Because if you were disposing of a five
gallon tank, you wouldn't. Anyway, point being, they do have a bunch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the grand scheme of this movie is on the totem pole,
but. Yeah. So this is a bloodbath. Right. These guys. Let me,
let me, let me. Before we get there. Yeah. Did you. I kept thinking,
when they're showing the, like, soldiers, people coming to the boneyard, were they, like,
twitching their noses like they could smell the propane? I was not, because I kind
of thought they were. But then I don't, like. I think in my memory,
I'm like, oh, yeah, they smell the propane. But then I was watching for it.
I'm like, oh, I don't know. Maybe nobody does react. Yeah. So I don't think
they did. And I was looking at this too, because when I watched it this
time, I knew what happened happened. And I was like, did they have mask on
or. Like, why would they not. Yeah. Smell that. Yeah. And it. Yeah. No masks
or anything. I mean, you. You know that smell. Very small amount of it.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Even just a tiny bit gets through the, you know, grill thing.
Whatever is you're attaching it, it smells horribly. So to have it sitting there open
and all these different ones, you'd expect the whole place to smell like rotten eggs.
Yeah. But nobody really reacts to it. But basically, they all did smelling salts to
psych themselves up beforehand, and it fried their. Their receptors. They thought they had to
kick field goals, but no. So. So we get a grenade launch
into basically the front vehicle, which then, of course, also lights a bunch of the
propane. It causes you. Right. Bedlam, mass havoc, shooting all directions.
There's just all kinds of stuff going on. At one point, Larkin gets like,
a bulldozer or something with a huge angled shovel in front of
it. Yeah. Some kind of whatever. And, you know, it was like a snowplow or
something, but it's like, it's able to at least be a bit a. Of.
Of a bulletproof guard for bullets. Going off the plow blade
is cool. I enjoy that. It's very cool. And the guys. The other soldiers kind
of hide behind it. So they're, you know, they're not totally screwed. They do,
actually. Eventually the prisoners do have to retreat. Yeah. It gets to the point where
if they continue to stay in their positions and try to keep fighting, they would
lose. Right. But they did a ton of damage. They did. They did a ton
of damage, and. They have to get out of there. And the plane is kind
of, like, barely ready to get going. Right. So they're getting going.
They're retreating to the plane. PO has found the needle. Hey, for everyone who's worried,
don't worry. We've got the needle. So Baby O is,
you know, just drink the insulin. That's my medical advice. Just take a shot
of it. Does that work? Yeah, I think so. So he's back to the plane,
and, you know, Johnny 23 is going into the plane. He's going
straight after the female guard who's cuffed up in there. Right. Which, you know,
this is very tense because she's just in there with baby O.
So there's nobody who's in position to. To help her. Nobody can help her.
And none of the other. None of the other people besides poor would. Right.
I mean, Cyrus made a comment about hating rapists, but I still don't think he
would have, on his own necessarily stopped it, to be honest. Probably not. Probably not.
But because Poe does show up in time to kind of fight with Johnny23
and stop him, Cyrus actually sides with Poe at the beginning when that happens and
is like, you know, you need to knock that off. Yeah. But before Poe gets
on the plane, he actually saw there's a. A big. I guess it's like a
concrete pillar. I'm thinking, is that. Is it, like, attached to the plane already as
a tow line of some kind? And then, yeah, because he wraps it around a
concrete pillar. But I'm not sure how it's attached to the plane. It clearly is,
because they are attached to it, and they can't get away. And so Cyrus and
Diamond Dog, like, shoot the pillar with machine guns until it breaks apart enough for
it to. To keep going. But now there's this big rope and hook flying
off that thing, and it goes. Where does it go? Right into the little
garage where Cole Meaney's car is hiding and grabs the Corvette.
I love. I love this so much. And I love that the
plane comes. Can still take off. Yeah, sure. With that hanging
off of it. And I love that Meanie's there. Malloy is there to witness
this. Too, which is great. So he had gotten there with all these other guys,
right? And the plane's flying away, and it's towing the car behind
it, and they're looking at it out, like the cargo door in the plane.
And Poe's line is, on any other day that
might seem strange. And from
the ground, Meanie's like, Malloy is like. Like, is that my car?
That couldn't be my car. You know? And, of course, then I love. It's like,
they're not able to get high enough because it's. There's drag, right? But it ends
up slamming into the actual air traffic control tower and falling to the
ground on its top, upside down, right in front of Q Sac and Meanie.
And then the, like, license. The ass kicker license plate, like, spins on its corner
and shows. Yep, sure enough, buddy, that was your car. Like,
such a ridiculous. Like, I mean, that almost seems like, hey, if we don't spend
the whole budget, we're not going to get a high enough budget on the next
movie. So we got to make sure we spend this budget. But great, great stuff
there. So now the prisoners are celebrating on the plane. We got away.
We're playing Sweet Home Alabama. We're jamming out.
Garland makes a very funny observation. He's like, define irony.
Bunch of idiots on a plane dancing to a song made famous by a band
that died in a plane crash. Perfect. The whole band didn't die, of course.
No. But I think that the songwriting brain
trust were all involved in that. Yeah. Yeah. So let's see. So the
other thing is that Cyrus is kind of putting the pieces
together. Yeah. Somebody attached. How did they know we were going to be here?
Right. Why would there be something hooked up to the point, you know, all these
things can't be a coincidence. Like, there's too many of them.
There must be some kind of mole inside here. And I'm going to kill the
guard. Guard. The female guard. I'm gonna threaten because somebody's been protecting her, too.
Yeah, right. I'm gonna threaten her, kill her, and that'll sn. That'll bring him out.
Exactly. And so it's very tense for, like, half a
second. And then baby O is just like, it was me.
Yeah, you dumb. You thought I had diabetes. It was
me the whole time. And then he gets shot immediately. So,
hey, remember when you were feeling healthy in this movie and ready to help the
second your insulin kicks in and. And pose. Excuse. Like,
after he volunteered for it, pose like, hey, don't listen to him, man. The Insulin's
got him crazy. Is that what. I don't think that's a thing.
If you're a type 1 diabetic that takes insulin shots, maybe you could write us
at the show@2dads1movie.com and let us know. Is that a thing? Because it doesn't seem
like a thing. But neither Nick or I are diabetic, so I'm not sure.
But, yeah, you could let us know. Oh, my God. So, yeah, so then a
couple of things I want to mention. So as they took off from Learner and
they're back in the air, we do see that little girl that Garland Green was
with, like, wave goodbye. And so it's like, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. He didn't
do anything to her. She's not, like, with them. Like, she's safe and fine.
I was very, very happy that they. Totally, totally one favor,
this movie. Exactly. So there's that. But back up in the air,
Diamond Dog is going through more of the
personal effects of people's stuff, and he finds Poe. The card that Casey
Poe's daughter wrote to him. Right. It doesn't say his name on it because of
course it wouldn't. Right. She wouldn't write a letter or a note or a crayon
card to Cameron Poe. It would just be to Daddy. And it's like, my dad,
you know, my day. Today's my seventh birthday. My daddy. I'm going to meet my
daddy on my birthday, or whatever the heck it was. Right? Yeah. But they bring
that up and it's. Like, I think, has anyone on this plane been talking about
how it's their daughter's birthday? There is that, but like,
that. Suppose that was, I think, what kind of pushed Cyrus to choose to,
like, actually, like, okay, now, like. Like somebody here is screwing with us. I think
there's a lead up to that. But basically they're now in a position where they
don't have enough fuel to get much anywhere there is.
I know there's a fight on the plane and Poe gets a
hold of a gun, right? Yeah. Because there's a lot
of chaos. I'm trying to, like, remember exactly. There's a bit of a
standoff here. And Cyrus even has his classic line where he's holding up the bunny,
which Poe has bought for his daughter. Make a move, and the bunny gets.
And he's like, holding the gun to its head. But at this point, the.
The helicopter squad has caught up with this. That's right. Right.
So Cyrus, his attention is elsewhere because he's Getting shot at by
the helicopter. He's shooting at him and stuff. That's right. And. And Po is trying
to get to the cockpit. Right. He's so singularly focused.
He's raging to the cockpit. He, like, kills a guy with a glass bottle or
something, and then he storms ahead. He gets shot in the arm and does not
react. Does not flinch. No flinch. To the point that they probably had to film
that with, like, CGI after the fact because the actor would have reacted
to a squib in some way, and they didn't. Couldn't risk any of it.
Yeah. So he's got a gun, and he's, like, making his way up to the
cockpit. But it's, like, not much he can do there because he can't fly.
No. But he's able to, like, shut the levers for the different gates and stuff.
That makes it harder for Cyrus to get to him. He's able to lock the
cockpit door. Now it's just him and swamp thing in the cockpit. And he's got
a gun. He puts a gun to his head and says, put this plane down.
And he contacts Larkin over the radio, and he's like, larkin, Larkin. I've got control
of the plane. Larkin. And so he's like, okay, cool. There's McCarran Airport.
Right. It's right next to the strip, if you've been to Vegas, you know.
Yeah. The airport literally runs parallel to the strip. Yeah, There it is.
Covid and Swamp. Things like, man, I don't have enough fuel to even get that
far. We're taking it down on the strip. And so sure enough, they start coming
down, and they land on Las Vegas Boulevard and just
start, you know, like you said, the blowing. Blowing stuff up.
And I was so. This was a fun thing. I thought when we were watching
that, I of was kind going, I wonder how many of these casinos still exist?
Oh, yeah. And I wrote down a list of every casino we see
in any shot as we're driving by. Circus Circus, I believe is still there in
Vegas somehow. Yeah. But I believe the rest of these. Literally all the
rest of these, I think, are all gone, with maybe one more exception. The Sahara,
the Riviera, El Rancho, the Stardust, the Flamingo,
the Hard Rock. Maybe that one's still there. Hard Rock, I think. Still there.
There. The Barbary coast, rip, Silver City,
the Strat, which I know they blew up. The Oasis,
Treasure island, which might still be there. Or if it maybe. I think it was
rethemed something else. And then the Sands and the Sands is never. Not there anymore.
But that's the one that they actually crash into at the end is the Sands.
Okay. And I, and I did read that they. There was an actual
demolition of one of those buildings that was happening. So they were
able to do a lot, lot with the crash. It must have been the Sands.
Right? So, yeah. So that's kind of cool to have this setting where they're like,
oh, yeah, we don't care what you do to it. Just in a month we're
gonna explode it. So do it. Go crazy. Perfect.
So, yeah, this crash sequence is very long. It's. Oh,
God, it's like six, seven minutes. It's so crazy. It's like, how long does it
take this plane to slow down? Yeah, because it's not. Anyway, there's friction,
there's. There's ground and cars and, and over. And something's gonna catch a
wing. It's gonna get internal. Anyway. Yeah, it's pretty wild that they basically travels.
I mean, look, I've walked, I've given myself plantar fasciitis. I've walked so far down
the Strip at times. Like, that's a long street and there's lots of
things in between. So if they're able to see out the window. 14.
Yeah, 14 different casinos. You've traveled a long way. Yeah,
totally sliding right along, like it's on ice or something. And I don't
like seeing the Vegas Strip get destroyed. Especially that area of the Vegas Strip.
I would have loved to see McCarran Airport get destroyed because I never like it
when I'm there. I always hate that place. Fuck that place. Yeah, this was
like. This was like post family friendly Vegas,
pre, like international Vegas where I think it is now.
Yeah, this was like a sweet spot. The mid to late 90s, early 2000s.
The hangover deal, swingers somewhere. Yeah, there was, there was. And there
was a lot like pop culture there. But like I. The first time I went
to Vegas was like 90 with my family. We stayed at the MGM and went
to the theme park. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. This was
post that era. So the plane
has come to a stop here and we have different things happening as it's
crashed. One thing is that Poe and Cyrus are facing off against each other.
And it looks like Poe's kind of fucked, right? Him and Cyrus are face to
face. And then as part of the crash, a propeller comes off the plane and
perfectly boomerangs through the side of it and then right between them, which breaks
up their like Little interaction and then saves the day there.
Yeah, it actually makes perfect sense. As it turns out, the. The plane was
manufactured in Australia, so the fact that totally
makes sense. Yeah, so. So they crash.
They crash. You know, cops fire. Everybody shows up. They start, you know,
people are dead inside, flying out, whatever. But there's a handful of our, you know,
kind of nastiest folks. Swamp Thing, Cyrus and Diamond Dog all crawl through like
a. There's apparently a way out from the bottom. It's like they were
in the hold and then there's another, like, door down so they're able to get
out and they steal a fire truck. And when we. And when Poe, for whatever
reason, when Poe and Larkin, these are the two pope, by the way, still a
convict, still a, you know, still the responsibility of the Bureau of Prison for
sure, like, needs to get to another prison and be released officially not. Has not
happened. He and Larkin jump on, they steal cop motorcycle to
just drive after them. And then the bunch of other cops are following and
joining the chase. And I love. There's a moment where there's. You see the shot
and this was like, I can't believe this wasn't a Michael Bay movie, because this
is such a Michael Bay shot. But it's between two cop motorcycles
and a donut with one bite out of it hits the ground and then they
drive off. Oh, yeah, they had to get that one in there. Got to get
the cops eat donuts jokes in. Man, it was funny watching them steal their matching
motorcycles. Yes. It reminded me of those. The Guinness Book of
World Records, World's fattest twins, the Maguire brothers who rode around on their special sized
motorcycles. So,
yeah, so there are some of like the
authorities are on the plane and they're kind of getting. They don't leave any time.
It's like you would be like, first of all, nobody goes anywhere near here until
it cools down and then this. But they're like pulling shit out right away.
And they go to pick up Johnny 23 and they're like, we think this guy's
dead. And he had been handcuffed in there. And they carry him away. And you
see his arm is still dangling from the handcuffs. So that was kind of cool.
Hey, 2Dads, one movie. It's got to happen every time, right? Missing arm. We love
limbs. We love limbs going away. Yeah. So it is really
funny that Larkin is taking this, this other criminal, like in
the eyes of the state with him to go on this thing. Right?
Kind of a cool chase on this fire truck. Everything you'd
want to see. There's a point where I think the
Ving Rhames character gets killed because Nick Cage like
grabs the ladder and then just ghost rides the whip his motorcycle like into
the back of the fire truck and it blows Diamond Dog. As we know,
all motor vehicles of any kind, the second they come into contact with anything else,
burst into flame and explode. That's a totally normal thing that happens. So that's what
happened there to Diamond Dog. We live in the Pinto Imperium. That's right.
Yeah. Swamp Thing is driving the truck and Cyrus is up on top.
And so now Poe is like hanging onto the ladder, right? And Cyrus has
got the hook, right? It's a hook and ladder, trucks. He's got the big hook
thing and he's like trying to stab Poe through. Poe's able to get a hold
of the hook from him and break part of it and jam it through Cyrus's
ankles, which is just. Yeah, I. I have a few.
Like, I know everybody probably has some of these things, but like, for whatever reason,
the thought of anything negative occurring to like my
Achilles tendon gives me the worst shivers. And like, like,
like toe curling feeling. Oh God, Chucky. Like the first child's
play has it. It's like, okay, so. But like. Yeah, so this was kind of
hit that same note for me. So they're fighting and. And there's a cool.
Like they're going through a bridge and. Then Hoover Dam
or something. Is that where they are? It's so bizarre that there's a tunnel there.
Yeah. I don't know what's happening here. And. And it's
a cool like satisfying like big chase at the end. They keep hitting
cool shit or whatever. Ramming into other cars and doing all kinds of stuff.
So Poe ends up. And at the same time Larkin is trying to get into
the cab of the fire truck and he can't get in there. So he
sticks a hose in and pumps a bunch of water through. So he floods the
cab of the. Fire truck, which makes it crash and finally stop. It finally
crashes. So at this point we've got Cyrus, who is on the
ladder, which has been elevated. So the ladder's up and it's like this Looney Tunes
shit where he goes face first into a walking bridge
of some sort of sort. Yeah, yeah. And then, well, I don't know. Are you
ready to do the bad guy death? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. So he like
hits like a walk something overpass, right? And then he falls.
And they're very close to the Vegas Strip, where apparently there's this, like,
quarry they hit. They hit Fremont Street. That whole overpass thing was the opening
of Fremont Street. So they're off the Strip now they're on Fremont Street. A construction
site. Maybe it's more. It feels like. Yeah, yeah. So there's a rock smasher and
all this stuff. So he basically falls from there after already hitting the overpass
through power lines and lands on a conveyor belt.
And the conveyor belt slowly taking him towards this device,
this pneumatic device which is just smashing rock into gravel.
And he goes up there and his head gets smashed and it's.
That's it. That's it for Cyrus. That's like five deaths.
You know, the power lines alone should have done it for sure. But yeah,
he's got to be Wile E. Coyote. All over Vegas, like.
Yeah. At this point, Poe is reunited with his wife.
The fucking Trisha Yearwood song kicks back on again. Getting back
into my head. And there is this really sweet like, dad daughter
moment where he goes to offer Casey, his daughter, who's never met before,
this bunny. But it is up, it is destroyed. It's all burned and the ears
falling off, like, whatever. And she kind of shies away. And, you know, her mom
tries to be like, no, no, come on, take your daddy's gift. And he's like,
no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like, let's let her ease into this,
you know, Which I thought was like a really great kind of like, dad moment.
And sure enough, she decides to come and kind of take the bunny and give
him a little hug and stuff. And it was very touching. Yeah. And so there
is that. But then, of course, we. We can't end there.
Yep. Right. We have to do a little teeny weeny epilogue.
I can't remember who. What is the. Do you remember the line that leads us
to seeing Garland at the craps table? Because there's Somebody says something and it's kind
of. It's just the dealer saying like, oh, hot shoe, next shooter. Like, coming up.
Are you feeling lucky today? Something like that. I am feeling lucky, yeah. So,
so basically, Garland Green is just hanging out in a casino gambling, which like,
bro, you got to be handed. Like a big ass daiquiri. Which, like,
okay, what's your long term plan here? Because unless you're taking on
an alias, people are going to wonder where. How the fuck Garland Green
is sitting here, craps table at the Sands or whatever face. If he has that
many. He's Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah. Yeah, That's. You know, he just
had to live it up for a little bit. And that is a funny way
to end it, though, that there's just one guy who supposedly made out okay.
But, yeah, that place is surrounded by feds and, you know, who's taken down in
15 seconds. He's not going far. Satisfying. He at least got a couple sips of
that drink. Yeah. There you go. I'm sure he finished the daiquiri. Yeah, yeah,
I'm sure he finished it. Yeah. So that ends up. And then we go to
Sweet Home Alabama for the credits. Right. So two whole songs in the entire,
entire movie, basically. And I want to point this out here before we
get into our reviews, both How Do I Live, which was Oscar nominated,
and Sweet Home Alabama, which is a very significant song in this movie,
are not on the Con Air soundtrack. Interesting. What the fuck?
That's pretty wild. I guess they just released the score, I guess. I don't
know. Interesting. All right, man, that was Con Air.
Con Air, baby. This was your pick. You want to give us your rating first?
Yeah. Yeah. So this movie, I mean, it's kind of like we were talking a
couple episodes back about certain things just being like a delivery system for the stuff
that you like and not necessarily held together as a cohesive piece of
art or whatever. So, like, as a movie. Oh, the plot. Oh, the character
development, whatever. This movie is for, like, explosions. It's for good lines,
it's for good bad guy deaths. You know, it has a ton of
that shit in it. And being imaginative in the stupidest possible way,
like with the car getting pulled up by the plane and all this kind of
shit. Shit, really fun, really dumb. I mean, this is not a date movie.
As much as you and your lady dance to How Do I Live for your
first dance at your wedding, this is probably not the movie you want to watch
as a date. But if you have a sense of humor, you don't need to
take it too seriously. And all you want is to be entertained. This is a
really, really good one. And it's one that I'll continue to check back in on
from time to time. I am going to go ahead and give Con
Air a four out of five. I don't want to check
it against other fours out of fives because it's probably objectively worse than some of
them. But as far as me, the person reviewing my enjoyment of this film,
it's very fun. And. And it's some really good Cage. Yeah, I agree. I think
I think, accent aside, it's really good. Nicolas Cage, the accent
almost like it really. I think I probably knocked half a point off this movie
for having to listen to him do that Southern drawl the entire time.
But I love this movie. It's so much fun. It's a popcorn flick.
The. The things that are wrong with it, like, why is he in the federal
prison system? Why would he. You know, why. Yeah, why is like, baby. Oh,
there with all the incidents. There's all these little things you can kind of pick
out. But, like, really, it's like, it's a big budget, crazy mid-90s
action movie. And there were so many at the time. I mean, the Broken Arrow
and Face off and, you know, the Replacement Killers and like, whatever. There's so many
crazy action movies from that era. And, you know, this is just
another one of them, and it fits into that genre. So if you like,
you know, if you think of, like, action movies of having sub genres, like,
you know, it might be a cop action movie or might be like a,
you know, medieval action movie or like, whatever it might be, Right. This is like
just bonkers premise action movie. And this is a really great version
of it. I am also a four out of five, actually, on Con Air.
I think that's a perfect score for it. 8 out of 10 from the 2
dads. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving 8 points to con Air,
even if it is. Does put a significantly higher than like, Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb.
I think the Rotten Tomatoes audience score on this was like 75%. So that's actually
kind of right. Yeah, it's kind of like, if it's for you, then you'll like
it. Like, if there's a store. Oh, I don't like anything in the store.
Well, don't walk in that store. But if you'd like that kind of shit,
like, you're gonna love this place, you know? Exactly. And God damn it,
Nick Cage. So we have some more Cage. So we see what we're gonna next.
We're gonna continue on to the. On the Cagevember theme.
And we're going to go. Actually, funny enough,
364 days before con Air came out, Nicholas Cage was in another
movie in the theaters. Okay. It starred also, like, very, you know,
bigger than Cusack. Big star to do this movie. I love
anything set in the San Francisco Bay area. Yes. Home. There's so many great movies
set here, and this is one of them. So let's take a year back from
Con Air. We're going to go to 1996 and we are going to join Nicholas
Cage and Sean Connery on the Rock. Hell, yeah.
Love this movie. This is also one of the earliest, earlier,
at least, Michael Bay films. Very much his study.
Bad Boys was before this one, but, like, it really was kind of like an
early Michael Bay. And his signature cinematographic style is everywhere
in this movie. So that'll be a lot of fun to talk about. But,
yeah, we are gonna go. We're gonna watch the Rock, man. It's gonna
be awesome. Hell, yeah. I can't wait. Dude, that is some great Cage as well.
And we have him in his regular accent again, so everyone will be happy about
that. Yes, it's still. Still interesting choices and this is something that
we'll have to get into because there's definitely parts of this that were. You know,
the script said that this is how it should go. And some of it might
be Cage, but his character in the Rock, Stanley Goodspeed, never swears.
It's a rated R movie and there's lots of cursing, but he never says a
bad word. Good for him. So, all right, that about wraps it up.
So if you like what you hear, and we hope you do, please consider heading
over to Apple or Spotify and leaving us a five star review. It really helps
new folks find the show and tell your friends, tell your family. If you want
to drop us a line, share your thoughts on an episode, tell us what we
got wrong, or suggest a movie we should do next, you can do so at
the show@2dads1movie.com. That's the number two and the number one.
You can also follow us on Instagram @2dads1movie. Once again, this has been Con
Air, another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nick. Thank you
so much for listening and we'll catch you next week. Thanks,