What's the matter. Honey?
I've had a terrible feeling. About what?
That we didn't do something. Ah, now you feel that
way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me,
we did. Did I turn off the coffee? No, I did.
Did you lock up? Yeah.
Did you close the garage?
That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it?
No, that's not it.
What else could we be forgetting?
Kevin?
It's 2 Dads 1 movie. It's the podcast where two middle aged
dads sit around shoot the about the movies of the 80s and 90s.
Here are your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nick Briana.
Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie.
I'm Steve. And I'm Nick. And today we are opening another door on the dadvent
calendar and Talking about the 1990 Christmas classic, Home Alone.
Before we get into any of that, I just want to thank you listener for
being here with us. This is our 40th episode. Nick. We have been doing this
so long now. I mean, I know it's still in the grand scheme of podcasts,
we're still babies, but like 40 episodes feels pretty doable. It feels really
good. I was ready to bail after like halfway through the first one. Bro,
you brought Pacific Heights episode four. I was like heading out the door, man.
That's not a signal that I'm trying to end the podcast. What is? You know,
we actually, we actually wondered about that. This has been so much fun doing this,
having these conversations with you every week, every Wednesday at, at 5:00am live,
live on air. But yeah, I mean, this has been great
and we've gotten such good feedback and, and we're really kind of building a
listenership and stuff, people who really en what we do. So thank you to everybody
for listening and thank you to Steve for putting this together in the first place
and. Thank you Nick, for, for agreeing to do with me. Because I don't think
anybody would be listening if it was just me. I, I'm not that interesting.
I think the, the, the, the repartee. Is sort of the banter to yourself and
different voices. I think people would get like a few episodes deep and never know.
Oh man, that would be really, that would be, I think it be stressful for
me. I think would be the. You look like Robin Williams recording Aladdin. It's like,
what? Too close. Too close.
Yeah. So this is our 40th episode. It is the third episode of the deadvent
calendar for this year. And I want to mention real Quick listener to just.
Just last week as we're recording this, you'll be hearing this a little in a
little while from when I'm recording it. But we launched a website.
And so now 2Dads1Movie.com is not just how you find our email
address. It's actually a website and it's kind of cool. I'm pretty proud of it.
It's completely unique. You know, I made it myself and
you know, didn't even have to use Shake and Bake. I just made it myself.
But it's got information on all the episodes. It's got transcripts at least at this
point for like the last 10 or so episodes. I'm working on adding those.
But transcripts, links to the people that are in the movies that we talk
about. Their things are tagged with like Cagevember or Shocktoberfest or
the dirt bike, the official vehicle of crime, because we've identified that. And so we're
going to keep growing it with kind of like little inside jokes and things that,
you know, are kind of part of the podcast but really also part of the
movies that we talk about because we love them. That's why we do this.
Yeah. And it's a great site. I mean, it's very like user
friendly. It's easy to navigate. It's not trying to trick you into stuff. So it's
very friendly to the person using it. That is the idea. It's not full of
anti patterns. I'm a. I'm a software engineer by trade. I've been doing the job
for over 20 years and I know how crappy it is to like have a
website that tries to trick you into this or that or there's no ads on
it or anything like that. You can sign up for an account there if you
want to and leave comments on episodes and we can have like conversation back and
forth with Nick and I. And so, yeah, do that if you feel like it.
But anyway, enough of that. Let's move forward to the movie because
this is now week three of the Dadvent calendar, the third Wednesday in December,
if you're listening, the day this releases. And Nick, you have picked an absolute
banger for us at this point. What are we watching today talking about it?
Your history, you know, had to be picked, right. If we're doing Christmas movies from
the 80s and 90s, this is one of the most iconic ones. Absolutely, yeah.
Home Alone is a movie that we probably saw around the time it came out,
but also have seen a bunch of times since then and kind of developed a
relationship with over the years. And now it's something that we've been able to enjoy
with our own children, our own nieces and nephews, cousins, all this stuff.
It's just, like, so fun. I hate using so much
fun to describe a movie all the time, But I don't know how else to
describe this one. I mean, this is just something that you enjoy it start to
finish. It's really hard to pick apart anything you change about it.
And I mean, it puts you in that perfect holiday spirit. The score,
the performances, like, everything about it is just so enjoyable. So I thought this would
be a great one for us to get up early on a Wednesday morning and
talk about. Absolutely. And this is one you
think, did you see this one in the theater? Pretty sure. No, you would not.
Oh, interesting. And yeah, this was definitely a theater watch for me. This was the
kind of thing that, like, it came out, we'll get into the facts, but it
came out actually just before Thanksgiving that year. And, you know, I think it's the
kind of thing that maybe after a week or two, I don't know, this wouldn't
have been something my parents would have taken my brother and I to, like,
first weekend, but it was in the theater for many months. So I know
this is one that we ended up seeing at some point because it got to
the point where, you know, we probably got back to school after thanksg break and
half the school is talking about, you know, you know, half the fourth grade is
like, oh, my God, Kevin McKellar. So cool, you know, or whatever.
And so definitely that. And then you're right. I think it just became a staple.
My wife and I used to do this thing before we had kids where we
would like, literally have a draft in November of which Christmas movies we're
going to watch during December. And so she and I would go back and forth
in picking so that way I could throw something fun at her, like Jingle all
the Way. And then she could pick real movies that are good and we
would go back and forth. But the what? Like one? I think like three movies
were it every year, and Home Alone was one of them. Christmas Vacation was one.
And then actually our film from last week, the Ref, was one that she and
I always watched. Very nice. But yeah, but Home Alone was like, had to be
there. You almost can't have, like a Christmas viewing season of,
you know, Christmas movies without Home Alone. Yeah, it's incomplete unless you just experience this
whole 100. So let's jump into the facts. Yes, Sir. On Home Alone.
And they. They are. They are. This is actually one of the more fun group
of facts that we've had. So. All right. The movie Home Alone, rated PG,
came out on November 16, 1990, like I said, sort of just before Thanksgiving.
Running time of 103 minutes. Directed by. Not John Hughes. And we're
going to talk about that a little bit. Directed by Chris Columbus and written by
John Hughes. Rumor has it, over the course of nine days, I believe is
the rumor, the entire screenplay was written by John Hughes over nine
days. Starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.
Scores Rotten Tomatoes 66%, which feels,
you know, well, the kind of movie it is and the kind of like uppity
punks that critics were in the 90s. And 80s, you know, I want children who
behave in my movies. This isn't Sophie's choice, like IMDb,
a much, much more respectable 7.7, which is a great. Pretty high score actually for
IMDb, but two thumbs down from the homies Roger and.
Oh, not Jean. I forgot his name for a second. Sisle Ebert. Two thumbs down.
Psychotic. They, they are seeming more and more like the old men from the Muppets.
Like, as we see their scores on. Some of these movies, it's really bad.
Just the contrarian for contrarian sake. Yeah. Awards.
Let's see. Not a ton of wins at the time, but nominated
for two Oscars, both Best Original Score and Best Original Song
for John Williams. Nominated for two Golden Globes, both the Best
Comedy Film and Best Actor in a Comedy from a colleague, Culkin did not
win either, but it was added to the national film registry in 2023, along with
like several other movies that we've covered. That seems to be something that. That comes
up often enough. But here's the real fun, interesting part of
the facts around Home alone. It cost $18 million to
make this movie and it earned $476 million at
the box office, 26 times what it cost. It's a ludicrous amount of money.
I think on the website this will actually take over from Indiana Jones and Last
Crusade for highest profit at the box office. Okay, when this episode goes live,
is. This our highest multiple? Does it beatmarn? Elm street was
like 50x or something crazy like that, never going away.
But the other interesting fact about Home Alone is that it spent 12
weeks as the number one movie in US theaters. That is
nuts. From November 16, 1990 until February 3,
1991, when both sleeping with the Enemy and
something else. I Covered. There were a couple, like, reasonably good movies came out that
week and finally dropped Home Alone to, like, third. It was still ahead of
the newly debuted Never Ending Story 2 at the
time, however, which I think makes sense because I was always pissed off that they
made a sequel that movie. If the story never ended, how do you make a
sequel? Exactly. That's a movie we will never do here on 2 dads 1 movie.
Never. Never Ending Story too. We'll do the first one, though, because I got to
cry about our attacks at some point, so. All right. Those are the facts on
Home Alone. Nick, let's dive in, man. How does this movie kick off? Yeah,
so I mean, this movie just starts off and gets you in the mood right
away. The. I don't know if we mentioned. We didn't mention this in the fact,
but the score by John Williams, recognizable. I mean,
this music is now so well known that it can stand
alone as just Christmas music and backgrounds, places. So the
score is perfect and there's a nice little logo of the Home Alone with the
house and stuff. Really simple. Yeah. So we begin in
the McAllister household, which is in like suburban Chicago. And it's
this beautiful, like, well decorated, like, brick, colonial, like really
just perfect looking John Hughes style house.
Right. But instead of it being a bunch of high schoolers getting drunk in there,
it is the chaos of like multiple sections of family all,
like trying to get ready the night before a big trip to Paris for Christmas.
And it's just chaos. And there are all kinds of kids, adults running around
there. One of the first people that we see is. Is a police officer,
plays by Joe Pesci, who's kind of standing there in the front door trying to
get somebody's attention. Yeah. Just calling after, like, hey, kid. Hey, kid. Hello. Hey,
go over here. Hey, little guy. Just like, just. He got nothing. Like, nobody's paying
any attention. Which is like, I'm sorry. I think I feel like in the 80s
and 90s, like, little kids paid attention to cops. Right. You know, but. But for
the movie, it has to work out this way. And also cops put up with
that level of disrespect. He just starts shooting his gun in the air after the
third kid didn't pay attention to. That's fair. I also want to say as the
opening credits rolled, this is. I kind of mentioned this when we went through the
Facts, but, like, this is one of the movies that I have and I think
a lot of people routinely misattribute who directed the movie.
I feel this way about the Goonies, I often forget that that was Richard
Donner, I think, and not Steven Spielberg. And then I don't know who directed Tim
Burton's A Nightmare for Christmas, but it wasn't Tim Burton. And I always assume it's
Tim Burton's A Nightmare for Christmas. Like when John Carpenter puts his name ahead of
a movie, it's because he direct. Yeah, right. But that's not directed. And then this
one I've always assumed is just a John Hughes movie. And it's like, yeah,
John Hughes wrote it, but Chris Columbus is the director. And I always forget
that until I see it. Like in the credits go a film by Chris Clum.
Oh, right, it's not John Hughes because. The liberals made it illegal to give Christopher
Columbus credit. Well, that's why he's not Christopher. He's Chris Columbus.
He's making that distinction in case anybody confuses him. So I knew the name,
but I didn't know him as a director. But he did Mrs. Doubtfire. He did
like he's done some great movies. The first couple Harry Potter's pointed
out to me that he did the first couple of those. So yeah, Chris Columbus
is. He's comfortable this year at Christmas time. Do not send him gift cards.
So there's all this chaos in the McAllister home. All these people running around.
And I just want to say too like packing the night before a multi
week long international trip. They talk about being there through New Year's at one point.
Yeah. So they're gone for like two weeks. This is like the day before Christmas
Eve or two days for Christmas Eve or right around that, that ballpark is maybe
the 21st or 22nd of December. And they're talking about being gone until through the
new year. Right. And so it's like you need like plug adapters. This is like
an era of traveling to Europe where you would just be fudged if you didn't
have certain things. Yeah. You're not getting. Amazon is not overnighting something to you at
your hotel or your apartment in Paris or whatever. So yeah, absolute sociopath behavior to
have not only the adults but the kids in particular not packed like long before
the evening before morning flight. And it was making me
very nervous that the younger kids were set were like they
had to pack themselves. That's insane. Eight years old, Kevin McAllister is. And he
is being told to pack his own bag. Like I'm sorry, I. My wife has
to give a once over to my suitcase when we leave places because
I've shown up. Places have been like, oh, I guess I'm not doing socks.
This true? Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, to leave an 8 year old is.
Is incredibly. My kids are 11 and 7 and. And the 7 year old will
pack, but the 11 year old will check her bag and I'll check both their
bags. It all works out. So it's like she can start. But a lot of
times, you know, I'll look through it. I'll go, honey, did you forget something?
She goes, no, it's good. Okay, well, you don't have any underwear in here.
Go back and get underwear and put that in there too. It's just jammed full
of stuffies and there's no useful items at all. Yeah, exactly.
Also, I know we're taking forever on this opening, but I also want to mention
because it kind of goes through the whole movie, if you notice the permanent color
scheme in the McAllister home. Not just decorations, not just stuff that's easy to change,
like bedspreads, but like carpet wallpaper. The tiles
in the kitchen are all red and green. Everything is Christmas red and green in
the McAllister home. Yeah. And every shot is framed in a way where some of
the red and some of the green are there. Even the wallpaper in the parents,
like, primary bedroom is roses. So you've got like the green stem and the
red flower. Right. Of all these, everything is red and green.
I've never seen so much green tile as I've seen in the McAllister kitchen.
Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Well, good. There's an explanation for the wild
fucking wallpaper. It's really insane. But. Yeah, but clearly they were just going for
like, everything should be red and green. Yeah. Oh. So. So during this
time, right, there's the chaos in the house. But then our main character, Kevin Macaulay
Culkin is like, he's being a little shitty. He really is. He's being
terrible to his parents, you know, so he's trying to get their attention, and they're
busy, obviously scrambling to get ready the night before they go to Europe.
And, you know, his mom's like, oh, Kevin, get out of here. Don't bother me.
He's like, why don't you hang up the phone and make me? There's certain things
that Kevin said where I'm like, you deserved at least a couple of nights
alone. And this is 1990. Like, the fact that that didn't
create a swat on the ass is shocking to me.
Prime kid hitting acceptance territory. Yeah. Oh.
Parents had carte blanc lunch in the 80s and 90s, man, they could do whatever
they wanted. Like. But yeah, so basically like he's told he has to pack himself.
We get little, little clips of like the older kids sort of like
telling him as, you know, do whatever, you know, do it yourself. Like, don't stop
bugging me. Like, whatever. They're not very helpful to him, but he is a little.
He is, he is kind of a little dick to them. And you know,
there's all this stuff. One of his older sisters refers to him as, you know,
what the French call, which is like, I always class that. That's become
a thing. People put on T shirts, you know, for sure. Like. And I remember
taking French in school. You were one of the few French takers with me.
And yeah, when we get to that, I'm like, oh, oh, guess what? I'm coming
in here loaded. I already know some French. I know what lazy competent
is, whatever that means. He's. He has il enfant.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah. So there's all this stuff running around. We learn.
We meet Fuller, played by Macaulay's real life little brother, Kieran Culkin. Yes.
He's like kind of the. Looks like maybe the youngest kid among the group,
but he, Macaulay. Kevin is going to have to spend the evening with Fuller
up in the like, like third floor attic space. It has a bed and everything.
It's like furnished, but like up there. And they say like, hey, if he has
any soda, like, he's gonna wet the bed. So you gotta watch out for Fuller.
Yeah. We meet Buzz, who is Kevin's oldest brother.
It seems like there's like five kids that are directly
related to like Kevin or like his siblings. And then it's like maybe four or
five more cousins. Like it's. There's at least like three brothers
worth of kids because Kevin's dad Peter,
I think, right. And then Kevin's Uncle Frank and then the Uncle Rob that they're
gonna go see in France. They' brothers, three of them. And then
one, at least one of Rob's kids, the oldest daughter, Heather, she's there with
them. So this is like all this mixture of these kids. We meet Buzz,
who is a complete. One of the. One of the class. He's like Chet from
Weird Science. One of the classic brother for sure.
But he, Kevin goes into his room and. And they see, they look outside the
window and their neighbor, old man Marley is out shoveling the snow and salting the
walk and stuff. And Buzz tells this story about the South Bend Shovel slayer.
And he puts the bodies in the salt, and the salt turns the bodies to
mu. And Kevin's like, whoa. You know, so we set up this thing of the
scary neighbor nearby, and I think we all kind of had as kids, like,
there was somebody on your street that you were kind of like, I walk quicker
past that house, dude. 100%. I would love to revisit that stuff
from my childhood, you know, because there's a certain house where we're like, oh,
that guy's an old. And it's probably just like, maybe he was just painfully shy
and didn't want people soliciting at his house. He didn't, like, have the light on
at Halloween, but you get a reputation for life. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah.
Yeah. It's really funny. So, yeah, I love that. Like, creating that neighborhood lore is
kind of a really fun part. Absolutely. That happened to all of us as kids.
Yeah. Yeah. So we
get kind of a funny scene here where there's still kind of chaos at the
house. And then the pizza delivery truck pull or car pulls up.
Little Nero's Pizza, little hatchback, and it comes flying up. And there
was a big thing. I mean, not so much now, but of pizza places doing
the, like, 30 minutes or it's free. So there was always a lot of jokes
around, like rushing to get the pizza there or making. Making it difficult for them
to get it there in time. You know, back when they cared. Now the customer,
now it's a pizza. We'll bring it when we want to bring it,
right? Yeah. And go yourself. Nobody's worried about the noid anymore, stopping the
delivery people. The noid. The noid was compromised to a permanent end by
SEAL Team 6. Unalived. So,
yeah, so funny thing with the little Nero's pizza guy because he pulls up and
he hits this, like, jockey they have in the front,
and he brings up an incredible stack of pizzas for 122.50.
Right. And I feel like we should do the little Nero challenge and see how
much pizza you can all get for 122.50. Listener. So why don't we see
who can get the biggest stack of pizza boxes delivered for 12250. Okay.
Not delivered, but I can get 11 pizzas for 122.50 today. You Costco?
Absolutely. Hell, yeah. Those pizzas are good. Yeah, that's good.
The fact that you can get pizza today, that is actually still. Because it was
10 pizzas. 122.50. So you know, let's just take tax
off the table. It's basically with tax. It's 12.25 per pizza.
So, yeah, the 1150 maybe, or whatever, plus sales tax or something. So the fact
that the Costco pizzas are only 10 bucks each is, like, pretty wild. So you
could still do that. But if you were getting delivery, like, round table or something,
I mean, you're talking, like, 30 bucks a pizza. Like, this is, like,
over 300 worth of pizza today. And if you get any toppings. Yeah. I mean,
this is. Although Little Caesars is pretty cheap and crappy, too, so maybe that would
be better comparison. But we'll try. Hey, I'm open to being proven wrong. Maybe Little
Nero was the roundtable of their area. I think it was probably the Little Caesars,
because that's, you know, hence the joke. No, but so. So the pizza gets delivered,
and Buzz eats all of Kevin's. First of all,
did they only order one cheese pizza for the entire group of kids?
Since we've done. We've done a thing about, like, noticing the actual food on screen
here. The thing about the pizzas here is all these pizzas come in.
Yeah. And none of them were plain cheese, but it looked like all of them
just had kalamata olives on it. They didn't have, like, normal sliced
black olive, like, rings of black olive. They all had these, like, lumps of olive.
It was almost just like, we need a generic topped pizza. Yeah. From the
prop. And pepperoni is too expensive. No, dude. No pepperonis that I noticed.
No. No mushrooms, onions, any of that stuff. Little green bell pepper.
Like, nothing like that. So it really just looked like, like, we have all these.
And now we need a quote topping to put on it. And. And that was
it. We, like, nine kalamata olive pizzas and one half cheese.
Half Kalamata olive pizza. So then Buzz eats
all of the cheese pieces. Pieces, which enrages Kevin, because Buzz
is disgusting. He's like, oh, you know, yeah, we made. You know, there's cheese,
but everybody ate it. And you got. We're. Someone's got to puke it up.
And it's like, you know, and he makes this big gag sound, and then Kevin
pushes him, and, like, chaos happens, and Kevin gets in trouble for it.
But where are the adults noticing that Buzz is being an absolute
terror to his youngest brother? Yeah, I definitely get that.
But I think you might have experienced this sometimes, too, where there is a kid
who's being an absolute shit. You do a couple of. Look the other ways while
they're Getting it back a little bit. Right, right. Just to, like, let the universe
write itself. But yeah, I get it. And especially if you're the parents. You know,
that buzz has been like this since Kevin was in a cradle. Or longer.
He's your oldest. Yeah. He's probably punched mom in the stomach when she was pre.
Like, that's how much of a bully he is. Exactly. Yeah. So he's a shithead.
But Kevin ends up tackling him and then everything gets spilled. Right. They're doing a
terrible job of cleaning it up. The milk spilling on the passport. I love that
the documents are just loose on the table with, like, two liters of soda and.
Yeah. And Kevin. Kevin's dad throws away Kevin's American
Airlines ticket. He's got that. He picks up all of these napkins with the
milk and whatever, and he goes to throw it out in the trash, and you
see that there is a ticket that says, literally has Kevin written in the garbage
can. So. So there's that. But yeah,
so this is also the point now where so, you know, everybody tells Kevin how
awful he is. You know, look what you did, you little jerkins. All that stuff.
Kevin, you're such a disease. Like, it's all. It's horrible stuff. They're being extra mean
to him. But that is crazy. I mean, we can't have a circle of,
like, insult to a little kid. Especially, like, from adults, family members, family members and
adult families. Like, look, I have a lot of cousins. Like, every once in a
while you might say something mean to your cousin. But, like, you know, know,
the adults in the room should be better than. If an in law calls your
kid a little jerk. I'm gonna be like, knock it off. Like,
yeah, but. So Kevin's mom goes to take him upstairs.
They walk back past Joe Pesci, who's still standing there trying to get information about,
you know, what's going on. And so, you know, Catherine o', Hara, who plays Kevin's
mom, she tells him they were leaving for Paris. We're gonna be gone for a
while, you know, whatever. And he's like, oh, okay, great. Like, you know, don't worry
about your house. We'll be watching it for you. And he smiles at Kevin and
we get. Get a very deliberate little ding. Little sparkle of the gold tooth.
Yes. That Kevin clearly notices. I would get a gold tooth if it was guaranteed
to do that once. In a while, you know? Exactly.
Yeah. So Kevin, he has thrown a fit and stuff, and his mom is saying,
you're going to sleep in the attic. Right. You know? And he's like, I hate
all you guys, you know, doing this whole thing. Yeah. She's like, are you going
to sleep upstairs? And Kevin goes, I am upstairs, dummy.
Like, just. Just that one hurt me. Anybody. Anyone who called their mom
dummy in 1990 would have caught a whooping. I don't care who your mom is.
I don't care how that was bad. And she's like, you know,
I. I really don't think you mean that, you know? And he's like, I do
mean it. She's like, we'll say it again. I wish my family would disappear.
So he's kind of set the stuff, set the tone of what he wants.
I don't want to see any of you jerks again. Yeah. Goes upstairs to his
sofa bed. Great line. At one point, I think possibly earlier, when he's throwing a
fit, when he says, like, when I grow up and get married, I'm living alone.
Yes. Yes. Idea. Right? I'm living alone. Yeah. When I
grow up and get married. Yeah, exactly. So we dream of every married man.
Kevin, honey. No, it's not. If you're listening.
So. So we get to kind of nighttime now, right? Like, everybody's gone to bed,
and. Oh, and they've agreed to not have Fuller go up and join Kevin in
bed. He'll put him on a cot because he says, like, Fuller will wet the
bed. I don't want to sleep. Okay, fine. You'll be up there by yourself,
and we'll have Fuller in a cot somewhere. But overnight,
we get a windstorm. Basically, we see a lot of, like, you know, trees moving,
and then a tree branch, sure enough, like, falls and, like, knocks the power out
at the McAllister home. Now, growing up, I had
one of, like, a very similar clock to what we see there at the McAllister
home. That. That is like, that fake wood paneling kind of looking black and brown
alarm clock. My family was not rich while I was growing up. You just said
you had an alarm clock. Which is it, Steve? Well, I also had an alarm
clock that had double A batteries in it as a battery backup in case it
ran out. Whatever. So apparently, though, the McAllisters have never heard of battery backups
because not a single clock. Alarm clock goes off in the entire house. And I
cannot believe that the only alarm clock set in the home was going to be
the one in the. The primary bedroom. Like, there must have been crazy. Frank's wife
would be responsible enough to, like, have an alarm clock. But nope, Everybody sleeps
in they're actually woken by the, like, airport transfer van who get there.
Right. They arrive at 8:00am so, yeah, it's been light. I mean, this is
the thing that I wrote down. Okay. Nobody awake in a house full of kids
before 8am Put me in that family. Not possible. I want to.
I want to be in the family where I can sleep comfortably in until 8am
without even a kid. I mean, there's no. That's incredible. Right? There's no way Kevin
doesn't wake up earlier than that. And then with all the chaos and yelling and
running right throughout the house. Yeah. He would have at least stirred and gone,
what's going on? You know something? There's no way. Fuller. Fuller, like, six sleeps
that long. They solve the problem. Someone would say in the focus group, excuse me,
wouldn't one of the children have to wake up to pee? And they're like,
sir, we've already solved that. He just pees. He pees in the bed. That's fair.
Okay. So this is one thing about this movie I really enjoy, is that there
are these, like, minuscule characters that I feel like tell such
a story, right? So one of them here, as they're like, there's chaos.
We slept in. And we get that all this stuff. And they're
running around the house, and it's. And it's great scene of just people going every
direction and they're getting loaded into the van. As these vans are waiting for them,
you have kind of like the. The neighbor
kid who wants to ask a bunch of questions. The inquisitive little neighbor kid,
Mitch Murphy, who comes up to the driver of the van. He's like,
hey, what kind of van is this? Does this get good gas mileage? How fast
can you go in this thing? How many people can. He's just like consecutive without
leaving a space for an answer, you know? And then the guy's doing the.
I don't know. Kid, get out of here. You bother me. So anyway, and I
love this character. It's just so funny because there was always this. This kid where
you were like, are you unattached to a family? Like, there'd be one kid on
the street that was just always kind of by himself. You know, maybe he was
married and living alone. But. But anyway, so as they're doing the head count
for the van, this kid who's kind of snooping around in there is roughly Kevin's
size and shape. Gets his head counted. So they think they have everything, right?
Exactly. And then, you know, we'll it skips it slightly. But like, the. Also the
other place to catch it would be at the gate right. When the. When the
airline person gets the tickets. But we know Kevin's ticket is gone, so she's not
going to notice a problem. Problem. Right. So, yeah, so. And I love this use
of Run Run Rudolph by Chuck Berry. Fantastic use of the running through the airport.
They do make the plane or whatever. Like, I mean, you know, the,
the things that couldn't happen today. This is the most dated part of the
film. The tsa, the world of the TSA Run Airport just completely
changes this. You wouldn't get through security fast. Like he says, I, like,
I don't know where. I don't know Chicago that well. I don't know where the
fictional town of Shermer is kind of supposed to be with regards to the rest
of Chicagoland. But I'm assuming because it's a Hughes movie, these guys live in Shermer.
Right. Just. That's generally what happens. And I don't know about, like, how long it
would take to get from there to o', Hare, but like Frank says, I mean,
like, we have the plane leaves in 45 minutes. And I'm thinking to myself,
yeah, if you're 40 minutes away from the airport, that's a problem. But like,
honestly, depending on how close you are, that might not be that bad if you
don't have to go through security. Right. And I remember back in the day,
there was security, like at the airport pre 9, 11, but it
was like nothing. It was. It was an honor system. Yes or no? Do you
have a gun? Kind of. I mean, I think there was like metal detectors at
Oakland Airport. Remember that? A couple times. But it was like you're in and out
real quick and you just walk your bags through. I mean, it was just like
it was nothing, really. Yeah. So it's so different. So today you couldn't possibly make
a flight. No. And they. And it is good. You know how, like,
in. In different movies that we've done so far, we're commenting where
it shows, like, the gas prices. Oh, yeah, yeah. We should also keep track of
the time that people are leaving themselves to make a flight. Oh, my God.
Because that's another, like, jarring thing. What's the 42 minutes?
What's your habit? Like, if you've got a. Like, this is an international flight,
but I don't fly internationally much. I. I fly domestic more than anything else.
So if you're flying a domestic flight, how far ahead of the takeoff time are
you? Getting to the airport, I would probably.
Get there, like, if I'm by myself, like, an hour
10 before the takeoff time, maybe, because security doesn't
take. I mean, depending on where you're flying out of. With my wife, like,
two hours, because she likes to go to the Chili's Express and, like, you know,
watch me have three IPAs. That really comforts her before a flight is to watch
me drink. So. So. Well, I do that for her. But. Yeah. How early
are you getting? I am like a full hour before.
What do they call it? Boarding. And that's usually 30 or 40 minutes before takeoff.
Like, it depends on the airline, but it'll say on your ticket or on your
boarding pass. Like, when boarding is, I'm an hour before boarding, and I have TSA
precheck. So I get through security usually in five, 10 minutes. But I'm still like,
I gotta get there. I gotta get through. I gotta go find my gate and,
like, physically see it and go, okay, there it is. I know where it is
now. And then I can go grab a bite or get some magazine or do
whatever. But it's like, I feel like once I've seen it, it takes less time
to get there. Oh, totally. Mentally, no. You're gonna map that stuff out. Yeah,
for sure. So as their plane takes off. Yes. We cut Back
to the McAllister home. Kevin wakes up. It's an empty house. He's doing the standard
sort of hey, where is everybody? You know, Kind of thing. And as they sit
on the plane, they're like, we just made it. I hope we didn't forget anything.
That's right. Yeah. I hope we don't forget to set up Kevin waking up.
Exactly. And then. So he's looking around, he goes downstairs.
There's, like, nobody around. He goes down into the basement to see if anybody's down
there, which is the first time we see the furnace. And this was a funny
thing because I always thought. I always kind of forget how little the furnace factors
into the storyline, because they really set this up as, like, a white whale
of this beast that Kevin has to deal with. And we only see it one
more. Time, or even just, like, something where. He imagines more like
it's sinister. Something. Yeah. Hey, Kevin, I'm gonna get you or something. There's nothing
like that. That. And so he does that. Runs back upstairs,
runs out, notices that the garage doors are open and the cars are
still there, and thinks to himself, well, they didn't go to the airport. The cars
are here. He didn't Know, there was, like, a transfer van coming, you know,
shuttle coming. And so he thinks. And he looks in the camera, and he goes,
I made my family disappear. And he, like, thinks a little and goes,
I made my family disappear. And we get another,
like, fast motion sort of montage running around. Crazy great music.
He's dressed himself quite nicely, though. He's got corduroys, a sweater on, like.
Yeah. Kid who's like. He's not still in avengers
pajamas. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. And he's.
And he's going crazy. And this is such a fun scene, like, with the music,
the saxophone going wild, and he's jumping on the bed and eating popcorn and just,
like, kind of sprinting around this big house. He goes to his. His brother's
room, and we've referenced this many times, and opens up his trunk.
Buzz's private stuff, which is, you know, got all your gut milk
duds and playboys and firecrackers and all the stuff you could ever want. Exactly.
I do. I. I love everyone's collection of secret stuff,
and, boy, do I love it. A great, great scene is where he picks
up the framed picture of Buzz's girlfriend. He's like, buzz, your girlfriend Wolf.
Yeah. And I remember thinking, like, oh, that's kind of mean. But then I found
out that. That it's actually the actor who plays Buzz, you know, like, in a
wig, whatever. Made up to be in that picture. It's not the actual place,
Buzz. It's like somebody in the crew. It's their son. It's the
writers or a producer. It's like their son. And they just said, hey, look,
we don't want it to be an actual girl actor that we're saying this about,
so just throw this wig on. He's like, I don't care. Nobody will recognize me.
So, yeah, it was like. But it was a boy with a wig on.
Yeah. Good choice, though, because it is less mean that way. And it's. And you
can kind of laugh along with it. Yeah. He's got a set of starting lineup
figures, which I was huge into starting lineup at the time. Timeless starting lineup
figures, though. But, yeah, I love seeing the starting lineup figures. I mean, his ideas
of these things to do, like, shooting them, like it as a kid, it just
makes your imag imagination so stimulated. Like, ooh, my parents.
What would I get into? You know? And then
the other thing that he gets into is he's into all the junk food,
and now he's watching some of the movies that he's not allowed to watch.
And he pops in this tape and we see this recurring throughout the film,
which is a fake movie inside of a movie called Angels with Filthy Souls.
Wonderful old, like, kind of film noir. I don't know, what do you call it?
Like an old mobster black and white movie. It looks like something that, you know,
Cagney would have been in or something like that. Right. Like, it's. It's. Yeah,
it's an old. It's black and white. Great. It sounds very old. It sounds like
a movie from, like the 40s, maybe. Yeah. You know, something that like.
Like Bogart would have been in or something like that. Right. You know, but it's
very funny. And I know growing up, I thought that was a real movie.
And I thought. I always thought, like, oh, I should try to find that movie
and watch it for real. And only, like, in my 20s did I discover.
No, no, that was entirely made up for the movie. They.
They filmed it and use. Reuse those scenes all over and again. But,
yeah, he gets a little scared because, of course, it's the. It's the scene where,
you know, snakes gets blown away by a Tommy gun. So it's like, you know,
it's stuff that he shouldn't be seeing at 8 years old. Yeah. And it scares
him. And then we quickly cut, after the Angels and Filthy, Filthy Souls,
we cut back to the airplane where now Mama McAllister is
thinking to herself, I feel like I forgot something. I'm not
sure what it is. She's checking her wallet to see did I forget, like,
my ID or whatever they're, you know, they're talking about, what do they forget?
So she's talking to her husband, you know, like, did you do this? Did you
lock up? Did you turn off the oven or the stove or something? You know
what? It goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the garage? Did you close the garage?
He goes, no, I forgot to close the garage doors. That's it. Right? And it's
true. We know because we saw. He did forget to close the garage doors.
They were rushing and everything. I don't know why your garage doors were open overnight,
Peter, but whatever. Weird move, but that's sort of it. And then she. So she
kind of sits back at first and goes, yeah, okay. And then she goes,
no, no, that's not it. What is it? What did I forget?
And we get the gray. I'm one of Catherine o' Hara's book. Best Single word
lines Ever Delivered is when she sits straight up and screams, Kevin. Like, yeah,
classic. And then, yeah, it's great that it.
Keeps going back and forth, too. Like, this scene is. Is really fun. And back
to Kevin's kind of hijinks. One thing that he does that I love so much
is he goes to the top of his stairs and opens the front door and
gets on his toboggan. Yes. And rides it down the stairs all the way out.
Have you ever done, like, ridden things downstairs like that? I did when I.
So when I was a kid, we had a very straight staircase in our house.
Like the one I have in our house. It, like, turns halfway down, so you
wouldn't want to try to do something like that. Has little landing. You got to
bank the turn. Yeah. But growing up, we had one, and it was carpeted,
and so. Yeah, I think, you know, my brother and I tried probably after seeing
this, but we didn't have, like, a sled because it's California and there's no snow.
So we didn't, like, have anything like that. But we tried, I think, with a
blanket, and it did not go well. It didn't go horribly.
Thankfully. Nobody broke any bones or anything like that, but it was like. It didn't.
We didn't stay upright very easily. Right. And ended up
kind of tumbling down the last few stairs. But, you know, kids are made of
rubber, so it's okay. Oh, I'm thinking about the dance damage we took. So we
would do this thing. We. We didn't do the sled either, but my cousin had
almost the same setup with the long staircase and then the door at the bottom.
Right. We would do this thing called diaper, where we get, like, a pillow from
the bed, and you kind of like, put. Put it. Oh, yeah. Legs. And you
hold up the front like a hobby horse. So when you're riding it, it's kind
of like a diaper. And it helps your butt, like, hitting the stairs on your
way down. So we do that riding down there. And then we found this couch
cushion that was like three feet long. And we're like, oh, now we got some
limos. We called those the limos. And we would go two at once down on
those couch cushions. Cushions. And that was, like, more damage. But the thing that.
That got us the fastest was in one of those, like, nylon sleeping bags.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That just like. Oh, those are fast. I remember watching my brother
just. And then just smack into the door at the bottom there. You let him
go first. That's a smart, big one. Yeah. Of course. You have to. So little
brothers are for landmines and. Yeah. Well, I always love my little brother. We would
get a new Nintendo game for Christmas, and he would want to play it right
away. So I would let him while I read the instruction manual, and he'd ask
me, how do I do this? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.
And he's like, let me see. Instruction. Like, finally we have the controller. And then
since I'd read the instructions, I played the game for, like, 20 or whatever.
Yeah. But anyway, so cut back then. Yeah, the sled thing's great. We cut back
to the airline or the airplane where now Frank and.
And his wife, all the family's talking. The stewardess is even, like, the captain's,
you know, doing what he can, but there's no answer. House. Because their phones are
dead. In fact, even though the power got turned back on the morning they left,
they were told by, like, a guy from, you know, Ma Bell. Right, whatever,
from the. The phone company that it's going to take a few days to get
the phones back up so they can't reach the house.
And this is like, one of the best, worst Frank lines in the movie is
when he turns to Catherine o' Hara and goes, like, if it makes you feel
any better, I forgot my reading glasses. It's like, dude, read the room. Frank.
He's the best. I mean, this is another character. He has so few
lines in this movie, but the things that he does. Basically, he goes
down, takes the pizza, and then says, oh, I don't have the money to pay.
That's right. Yeah, right. And then he's, kevin, look what you did, you little jerk.
And then. Then stealing the stuff on the plane earlier, it was showing him,
like, is this real crystal? Like, put this in your purse. Like, that type of
guy is just so well captured. Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it? Yeah. And then
he's like, fill it up, Fill it up. That's a classic thing where they're
trying to fill a wine glass for the proper height. Which, frankly, I'll be honest,
when you're pouring champagne, if it's an empty glass, you have to, like, do a
little bit first, let the bubbles die down, and then you can keep filling it.
So really, he was just patient. Yeah, he just needed to chill for a second.
Second. God damn it, Frank. So now we're kind
of introduced, or we're shown the burglar characters,
Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci, and they're kind of sitting there in
their plumbing van, and they're on the McAllister street kind of pointing and like,
all right, boom. There the lights are going to go on there. The lights are
going to go on there. So they know the timing of all these automatic light
systems that are supposed to be deterrence to burglars. They're like, okay, we. We know.
Know how this works. Becomes proof everyone's gone. Yeah. Becomes proof that they're
gone. Right. Because it's like, oh, look at when. As the timer. Every night,
you know, two, three nights in a row, we know those people aren't home.
Right. Right. So we have them, like, kind of lingering outside
there, and they're definitely. They're talking about the McAllister house like it's, you know,
Fort Knox. It's the silver tuna. Yeah, the silver tuna,
which is really fun. Never. Never before or since have I
heard that term used. And, like, Marv, Daniel Stern's character
turns and goes, oh, it's very g. I'm like, who talks like this? Who ever
talked like this? The silver tuna, was that just, like, an attempt to not get
sued by the estate of Herman Melville? They're like, if you said white whale,
I'm sorry, we're going to have to get you out of here. So they're definitely
targeting the McAllister house. Oh, yeah, Kevin. Kevin's in the house. And they're
thinking, nobody's there. Right. Kevin's in there. And this is another good Christmas
movie tradition is for somebody to be watching another Christmas
movie inside the Christmas movie. Yes, we saw that in the ref. With It's a
Wonderful Life. It's a Wonderful Life. And we'll see that again. Oh, yeah. So Kevin's
watching the first Grinch, the classic Boris Karloff Grinch,
which is excellent as they're kind of like, you know,
trying to approach the house. Yeah, yeah.
And so he. He basically. I think he hears them initially, and they're kind of
like, messing with the door. Whatever. And he basically get, really smart move,
just runs out, starts turning lights on. Yeah. And when he gets to, like,
the back door light by the kitchen, he turns that light on. That's when Harry
and Marv realizes, guys, wait, wait. A light just turned on that, like, wasn't part
of the timers. Yeah. Oh, boy. Let's just. Let's just leave, you know, let's.
And they make the smart move. It's like, let's regroup. We're not going to try
to break in this place now. Maybe they're still home or one person's home or
something. And so, you know, they. They Back off, basically. And they run away.
And then we cut to the. The crew that's been
flying is now landed in Paris. And we get yet another. And this time
it's not run, Run, Rudolph. It's more John Williams score. But it's like another great
sort of like running theme song that they're running through the airline or
through the airport there in Paris. And then do the most classically American thing ever
when they literally hang up a woman's phone call in order to take the payphone
from her. It's just so classically like Americans being shitheads in Europe.
Dude, it's so good we need more payphones. Because I would love to just have
an emergency and grab a phone and just say they'll have to call you.
Back in a language that person definitely doesn't understand. Instead of just. Just hang it
up. Then they could say it got disconnected. Now they're expecting a call back.
The person's like, what the hell? I didn't want to call them back. Yeah.
So they're rushing the phone and she's basically, you know, we have to
call everyone we know. We have to find out what the hell is going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like flashing back and forth. One thing it
shows back at home is Kevin deciding, like, after these burglars have come,
he's chased them off and he's kind of psyching himself up. He's like, I'm not
afraid anymore. I'm not. He's saying, I'm not afraid anymore, and steps outside.
I'm not afraid anymore. And then there's old man Marley with. With his.
With his trash can full of salt. And he goes and like, hides back.
Under the bed and gives us, I've ranked, I think, the top four screams in
the movie. This is number two. This is actually the second best scream in the
movie is when he sees old man Marley outside and go, ah. Like, runs back.
I think it's the second of four. And I. I'll call out the other.
Oh, yeah, I can't wait. Yeah, yeah. We got the scream ranking within. Within Home
Alone. So that's a very good one. But yeah,
one of the things, one of the people or groups that. That Katherine Hara
calls. I can never remember the character's name, by the way. I keep calling her
by the actress's name. I just say, mom. Yeah, that's fine. So mom calls
the police, the local police back in. Let's call it Shermer. Right? It's whatever near
Chicago. And they are the most Ineffective, shitty,
crappy cops. Really funny. They would have been better off calling Joe Pesci dressed as
a cop, like, than these cops. It's really bad. And they're being pat.
She's being passed between, like, the family, you know,
whatever unit or something. And then like missing persons, I don't know, like, whatever.
Two different groups are, like, trying to pass her on off. And I love that,
you know, like, ah, there's a mom on two. Sounds kind of hyper. And then
she talks to the next guy and when he passes her back, it's like hyper
on two, like. Or whatever. It's like, God damn, these people are rude. The guy.
The guy in, like the family crisis center, he's eating a donut while he's on
the phone. And there's one point where this hunk of donut just gets stuck to
the phone receiver. It's so funny. Oh, my God. And it stays there for
like a good 10, 15 seconds, just hanging onto the phone. And, you know,
again, the minor characters, they really make so effective.
I think both those actors are very funny. So end up agreeing. Okay, we'll send
somebody to the house. Yeah. And they send a cop to the house, and he's
knocking on the door. Kevin obviously is not going to pick up the. He's hiding
under the bed. Right. Because he's terrified of old man Marley. And. Yeah. And the
cop gets on the radio, he's like, no one's at the house. Tell them to
count their kids again. Do you know what that cop could have done? Literally yell
police. Right? And he would have come out. Movie's over. If that
cop one time goes in his Chicago accent, police. Hey,
the police are here. Is there any kids inside? Yeah, as long as you didn't
have any gold teeth, Kevin would have gone with them. Yeah. Tell them
to count their kids again. Like, what a movie. So terrible.
And they're stuck. And they're stuck in Paris and there's basically no flights home for
two days. That's right. So this is the situation. They're in there. Yeah. And they're.
They're gonna. Yeah. So we do see Kevin's morning routine
or part of. He talks about his morning routine. He's like putting on deodorant,
standing at the, you know, the mirror in what is probably like the primary ensuite
bathroom, like his parents bathroom room. And he's talking about all the stuff he did
and he shampoo and did this and whatever and like, blah, blah. And then he
goes and he puts aftershave, like, on his Hand and kind of pats his hands
together because he's probably seen his dad do this. And he taps his cheeks,
which. And then screams. The third best scream, by the way,
in the movie is this scream. Yeah. And it's like this means he actually did
shave, Right. Because why would it stay. Yeah. If you hadn't run a
razor over your face? So apparently, I'm assuming dad had like a. Maybe some Bic
safety razors around or something. It's not like he was using a strop, like,
you know, like kind of like, like a straight blade. But he apparently did shave
his face or the aftershave wouldn't have stung. But that is an interesting sort of
thing. And the third best scream is the aftershave scream. And that scene, I mean,
it kind of. It's one of those things that people know aside from the context
of the movie. So they would. If you go up to some random guy in
like, Warsaw, he would be like, yes, America, home alone and do the scream.
Right. But people would think, oh, this is a thing he does in response to
these burglars trying to murder him. But it's like. No, it's. It's when he puts
a mild astringent on his face after not shaving. Right.
So it takes a little of the magic out. But I do love that.
And so now Kevin's exploring. I think he says something about he
didn't have his toothbrush or whatever, his new toothbrush. Oh, but before
he. Yeah, but before he. He goes to get the toothbrush. Yeah. He climbs
Buzz's shelves, which is just the most nightmarish, terrible thing.
And these look like those old school sort of floating shelves or they were just
held up by, like relatively small, you know, little arms that you.
There's no walls there. They're in drywall. It looks bad. Yeah. And so sure enough,
you know, he climbs it, he falls, everything falls onto him.
I did see an interview recently with Macaulay Culkin where he mentions the stuntman for
him in that scene was a 30 year old guy named Larry, which is kind
of funny. He should have been killed. What? He has to pull off
his own head. Head to get out from under the rubble. This should have killed
Kevin. This is, to me, this is the first point in the movie where someone
should have died from the injuries they sustained. And, like, there's at least three or
four other potential deaths that don't happen. Right. But this is like, bad. Like,
he really should have been very mortally wounded in this. This is definitely
the comments that we were making when we watched this. Yeah. And Kevin just casually
pops up like Jake and Elwood Blues after Elwood's apartment gets blown up by a
rocket launcher. And they're just. He's just kind of dusting rubble off himself.
Oh, man. Let's see. So. So Marv and Harry, they're in the.
They're in the neighbor's house now. They're robbing the merchant across the street,
right? Yeah. And just goofy as shit. Right. So they're playing with the toys
under the Christmas tree and Marv has, like a snorkel mask and
a snorkel on, and he's just like sweeping all this fragile stuff into a pillowcase
with a crowbar. Just making all this burglar. Yeah.
But while they're there, the answering machine goes off and it's Mr.
McAllister leaving a message for the neighbor saying, hey, like, we're stuck here, whatever.
And then they realize, like, oh, they are gone. Yeah.
So. Yeah. And this is the crazy part. The Murphy's. We heard from Mitch,
the son who was like, the one who was counted as Kevin. Right. Early on,
he tells, for no good reason, the. The driver of the van
that they're going to Orlando, but they have to drive to Mississippi first to pick
up his grandma, and then they're going to Orlando. So they're gone again also over
Christmas for sure. Yeah. Why are there presents under their tree?
Like, what. What's the deal with. With that? I don't understand. It doesn't make any
sense. The lights on the tree, everything. The tree is, like hung and lit and
ornaments and everything. And then. And then they're gone for Christmas and there's presents.
Like, that doesn't make any sense. Have you ever been gone for Christmas? And I
have not actually ever been gone for Christmas. When I was a kid a couple
times because we had family on the east coast and. And we lived in different
places, so we would travel for actual Christmas. Yeah. And then come back to our
house and there's stuff under our tree. And I talk. Talked to my parents after,
and they're like, oh, yeah, we, we, you know, after you left, we did it.
Or we had the neighbors help or whatever. But I remember being like,
dude, this is so amazing. Santa is real. And they were
like, yes, he is. Enjoy Sophomore year of high school.
So, yeah, I mean, I could see, like, they did go through a crazy
amount of effort, though, for someone doing, like, a big family vacation. Santa is real.
Now go finish your algebra homework.
Santa is real. Unlike the square root of a Negative number.
Okay, so Kevin, he has to go find a toothbrush. And this is kind of
a good scene of him being, like, precocious, you know?
Exactly. He goes into the store and he asks, is this toothbrush approved by the
American Dental Association? And the people aren't like, oh, how cute,
right? Like, I don't know, bitch. I'm on break. Like, they're not very.
Fuck your American Dental Association. Get out of here. Like, buy this shit or
don't. Like, like, like, as if they're big worm at the ice cream truck.
Like, get the fuck out of here. Like, that's my money. It's my toothpaste rush.
So, yeah, so what you got on my plaque,
homie? So, so Kevin,
he's. They're talking to him, and then this hand, like, slams down
on the counter next to him, and it's this hand wrapped in, like, a bloody
rag. And he looks and it's. Of course, it's Old Man Marley. As menacing as
possible. Like, we're like, the reality is this is not a scary old guy.
The reality is he's just old. And yet. But he presents himself terribly,
never beating the allegations. Like, this is not like you are menacing
this child at this point. Like, it's terrible. So. So Kevin,
of course, is, like, too terrified to act there. And he runs out of the
store with the toothbrush in his hand. And then they point to, like, the,
you know, all American 1950s guy. Dude, right? He looks
out of place. So out of place. Yes. Oh, Jimmy, go get
him. And he doesn't even chase him. He takes five steps and then he yells
to this fat traffic cop across. The street, like, meter made
cop ever. Like, go get that kid. Like.
So. So there's a very fun chase and good music and stuff.
And Kevin basically runs across an ice rink and slides under these people's legs.
And the cop slips and falls. Free toothbrush. That's right. Kevin gets
away, but he's, of course, distraught. And this is so real because, like,
my son is somebody who, like, if he does anything wrong, he, like, tells me.
And, like, yeah, he, like, feels guilty about it. And so Kevin is like,
I'm a criminal. Like, I still. And it's like, bro, it's not even. I don't
even know if that's a misdemeanor at that point. Like, a dollar fifty, man.
Yeah, it's not great. Don't do it again. But, like, yeah, it's like, what.
You know those restaurants that are like, our steak knives are $902.
So it's a felony if you steal them. It's one of those, like, solid platinum
toothbrushes that he can't steal. I will say real quick, before we move past this
scene, the. The ice rink that they. That he runs onto and the cop
falls and loses him on is the busiest ice rink I've ever seen in my
life. Yeah. There are people doing figure skating. There are people doing, like, couples sort
of arm in arm, like at a roller rink kind of thing. There are people
with hockey sticks and pucks. Yeah. And it's just wild abandon of
everything happen. It makes no sense. And it's like, it would be horrible if you
were actually trying to, like, enjoy, you know, an afternoon out on the ice in
winter, especially if you're a beginner. You got all these people doing,
like, triple axles in front of your face. And I'm pretty sure it's a pond.
Like, it doesn't even, you know, it's like, totally the frozen. You know,
that many people on it territory. Yikes. Anyway.
So as Kevin, he's. He runs away from the cops and everything,
and then he almost gets hit by a van, right? Yeah.
Yeah. And he looks up, and it's Marv and Harry in their plumbing van.
And he kind of gives him a look. Hey, kid, you got to be more
careful than that. And then smiles. And he sees the gold tooth ding again.
Sandy, don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy. I do. I love him saying Sanny.
I think that's really fun. Like, Daniel Stern is. Is very, very. Speaking of kind
of anachronistic, though. Like, the Jimmy kid, like, they do play very much like 30s
or 40s Movie villains in this. The guys in A Christmas Story that he
imagines, like, coming into the backyard. Yeah. That he takes out with his BB gun.
He's a dead Iedi. So.
So Kevin kind of like he's getting followed down the street and he's slowly running
away, and he ends up hiding inside a nativity scene because they're like, oh,
he's going into church. I don't want to go into church.
So. So he gets away, and he's basically saying, like, when those guys come back,
I'll be ready. Yeah. And we do. See, that's before Marv and Harry get
into the van and almost hit Kevin. We do see that Marv plugs the kitchen
sink at the Murphy's house and keeps the water running, which, you know, comes back,
he says, oh, all the greats leave their calling card. We're the Wet Bandits and
stuff. So. But yeah. But Kevin, you know, gets away from them.
And we cut ahead to that evening where we know that Harry and Marv have
said they're going to come back and try to rob the place again. And he
has faked a dance party. He's got. There were a lot of
mannequins in the. Or, like, half sort of, like, dress, you know,
whatever they call them, like, down in the basement. So he's got some of those
on. He's got, you know, on a train track running
around. The entire downstairs room is like the Michael Jordan cutout,
you know, kind of thing. So it looks like somebody's walking and other people are
dancing. And he's got, like. It's just really clever. He's doing it like a.
Like a marionette thing where he's got. Pulling the ropes attached to his knee and
his hands and he's. And it's. And it's all rocking around the Christmas tree.
Yeah. Which is a great song. So. Yeah, it's really. It's really great. And I
can't hear that song without thinking of him pulling the ropes. Now,
even though that's, like, an iconic song that stands on its own.
But it's so associated with this scene. I think we talked in an earlier episode
about if you own more than one mannequin, go to jail. They have, like,
a Buffalo Bill amount of mannequins in this house.
Between. Yeah. Because that was. It was Silence of the Lambs referencing both Bill.
But also Lecter's storage unit had a ton of mannequins and
stuff in it. And I thought that, too. I saw the basement. Like, why are
there so many mannequins? I can understand having, like, one. Like, if you do mend.
Or make your own dresses or shirts or, like, whatever. Like, I could see having
one. Yeah. But there are, like, four or five mannequins in this little dance
scene that he's created. That he's had to, like, pull up from the basement.
It's just. Yeah. Pretty wild. Pretty wild. I heard they got the idea for
the lotion bucket in Silence of the Lambs from the paint can that
Kevin swings at the burglar. So maybe there's a little crossover. Where's the paint on
So. So they are. They're. The burglars are scared off, obviously, by this.
And they're like, well, shit, we gotta. Maybe they'll leave tomorrow. Right. Right. Back to
Paris. Another great Uncle Frank. A mini Uncle Frank thing where he comes out to
the group and he's like, hey, who Wants one of these. And he has this
big tray of shrimp cocktail. And probably the woman who lives there is like,
frank, put those away. Those are for later. And he just goes around and hands
it out right. Again, he's not in it much, but he encapsulates like
the dude that you fucking have to but do not want to spend any time
with around the holidays. He also has to say it in like a
really shitty, sarcastic pseudo French accent. He's like a shrimp
cocktail. And it's like, dude, you asshole. Like, you don't have to do like,
everybody in the room is American. These are, you know what I mean? Like,
how weird. And I also noticed, I love they're watching It's a Wonderful Life on
tv, but of course it's French television, so it's all in French. It's like overdub.
Yes. No, no, no. And the, the apartment that they're in
is like the most a play set where the curtains
are open and there's this huge view of the Eiffel Tower.
It's like, yeah, you know, the France thing. Although if
they're all staying there, it better be a big place because holy crap, right?
This is like 16 or 17 people all staying in one place.
Seriously. Man, oh man. Oh, this is when buzz,
though, I love it. They talk about being worried about Kevin and Buzz is like,
I'm never going to be worried. I'm not worried about him. And he lists the
reasons why, but he prefaces them as a da da da da da to da
da da indeed. And it's like, man, you couldn't have been any more wrong.
Really good. Really good. So at this
time now they're having their shrimp cocktail. Kevin has ordered pizza for himself from little
Nero. So he finally gets his cheese pizza and he can't
answer the door. I mean, he's terrified to answer the door anyway, but doesn't
want anyone to know it. Kids by himself. And he's using this movie, the Angels
with Filthy Souls to like talk to the pizza guy. So the guy comes to
the door and he's like, what do you want? You know, so. And his precision
with the remote. I mean, you've, you've watched like pre recorded sports
with people before and constantly up when to stop after
a commercial break. 100%. I need those skills that Kevin has, dude.
He is making tight turns with that remote. It's. It's obviously impossible.
Like there's no way he could know. Vcr. Vcr. Like it's not even. Because I,
you know, I mean, literally I will have to cut the intro clips for our
episodes. I look at parts of the movies we do do, and. And cut the
audio out of a little piece of it or whatever like that. And it can
be difficult just to get that right. And I've literally got, like, the timeline of
audio in front of me, and I'm still trying, like, nail the exact right spot.
And it's not easy. So that would be basically impossible. And of course, he does
pay the. The pizza boy, but he gives him, like, a crappy tip. I think
he says it's 20 cents. Yeah, it was like 11.80 bucks. Exactly. And so he's
like, thanks a lot. Whatever. So he plays the part where the guy shoots with
the Tommy gun, you know, snakes. I give you till the count of 10.
You know, whatever, the whole thing. So the pizza boy runs away. Let me ask
you something here, Nick. Yeah. After safely returning to the Little Nero store,
why the hell would that kid not call the cops? Like, I get you just
want to get away, whatever, but, like, how are you not caught? I was shot
at with a machine gun at this address. Maybe go check that
out. At least take it off the list of, like, future deliveries. Blacklist them.
Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, it must be treacherous. Oh, man. One reason
he might keep the job and not call the cops is that Little Nero's jacket
he has had was sick. It had, like, the Italian flag colors on
the collar. Like, that thing is nice. Like that satin sort of like. Yeah,
like a bowling league champion kind of jacket. Yeah.
All right, so Kevin. Kevin is kind of.
Okay, so. So mom is. Oh, yeah, she's trying
to, like, bribe. Some people to, like, trade tickets with her. Like, how can I
get out of here? And she's talking to this very cute old couple, this old
woman about, okay, well, I'll give you my first class tickets and 500 cash and
this and that and. Oh, you like this watch, you know? Is that real?
No, but nobody can tell. One of the. One of the.
The best lines here is when she says to. And the woman's husband has
come to her, like, come on, we got to get out. Or she's like,
the earrings. You like the earrings? He's like, she's got whole shoeboxes of them at
home. Dangly ones. Yes. Ed and Irene are super dangly
ones. Is just such a good line. So anyway,
I think she ends up getting a trade. So she's at least got a plane
ticket to the United States somewhere. We don't even really know where. She's gonna end
up. But she's getting back across the Atlantic. That's a good point. So there's that.
We cut back to Kevin, who gets a second aftershave scream for us. I call
it the fourth best scream in the movie. We still haven't had the first best.
Yeah, the first best. What the hell? Like, I should probably stick with fresh best.
I should learn English anyway, so that. Because he has to go grocery shopping,
so he had to, like, you know, kind of get himself ready for the day.
And he's starting to get a little sad at this point. Like, Kevin's missing.
He's not enjoy the aloneness quite as much. Right. It's getting a little lonely.
So he heads out grocery shopping, buys very reasonable stuff,
you know, for the most part. He's got coupons he cut out of the.
You know, and I recognize the. The clerk, or I thought I did initially.
And then I realized I think she just, to me, really looks like Elizabeth Shue.
She really does look like a brunette Elizabeth Shue. I think the clerk at the
grocery store. But it turns out that actress actually was in the movie Dutch.
And I think I do remember her. Okay. From the movie Dutch, you know,
which we will cover at some point, I'm sure. But yeah, like, you know,
she basically is asking him questions like, you know, where's your mom? Mom? Oh,
she. He's out. She's out in the car, you know, do you have any siblings?
Like, no, I'm an only child. He's like, where do you live? And he's like,
I can't tell you that. She goes, why? Because you're a stranger. And it's like,
dude, that kid is on point. He's got an answer for everything. It's perfect.
I do love that. That he's like. He's preloaded with the.
Absolutely. Yeah. And then so he ends up. And I think his
total for groceries, which included paper towels, toilet paper,
several frozen meat, meals, milk,
eggs, I think. Yeah, eggs, laundry detergent,
bread, and it was like $19 and something. That's so incredible.
That's how much I spent on toilet paper yesterday. Seriously. That's how
much worth of toilet paper. I used on my last dump.
So Kevin's back home
and Marv is coming up to the door. That's right. Again,
goes to the back door. Kevin is luckily able to save the day again
with the VHS tape and his precision rewinding and fast forward.
Yes. So he scares Marva, but he adds.
A little element to it. It's not just the. The the sound from the TV
of the Tommy gun. But he get. He has Buzz's little firecrackers that he puts
into a, you know, like a stock pot, a metal stock pot back near the
back door. So it would be very loud and sound very close. And,
yes, a lot more like a, you know, gun going off necessarily,
than what would sound like from the tv. So, yeah, I mean, Marv freaks out
and runs back, whatever. And he gets into the
van to talk to Harry. He goes, somebody just got blown away. Like, the voice
sounded familiar, though. Like, it's almost like they almost. He almost is getting it,
that it's like, yeah, you did recognize that. That's like, a movie. You've probably seen
it, you know, and they're gonna leave. Except Harry tells me. He's like, hey,
wait a minute. Like, we work this neighborhood. What if we get picked up and
we tell the cops, hey, we know a little something about a murder that happened.
It would be nice to give a. You know, have a face to go with
their questions. Like, that could help us out. Pretty smart, actually. Of Harry is more
the brains, obviously, of idea of the two. And so they decide to stick it
out and, like, wait and see. And I believe that's when Kevin comes out
to, like, cut down a Christmas tree or something, right? Yeah.
Like a little top of a Christmas tree. Yep.
And I think. And he's decorating it. And basically,
as he's hanging a bulb, he looks in the bulb and sees that Harry,
Joe Pesi, is, like, looking through the window. That's right. Slightly before this.
Back with. Back with mom on her arc. So now
she's yelling at a gate agent. She's been through this thing. And she's. She's explaining
this isn't where she first flew to, because she's explaining, like, I went from Paris
to Nashville to Dallas to all this stuff to wherever I am now. Wherever I
am now. And he says, Scranton, which is really funny. Scranton International Airport. Right.
She only got there from Nashville or. Dallas taking
puddle jumpers and stuff. So then in the background, we see the
thing that I feel like puts this movie over the top. I agree with you.
The John Candy character kind of noticing that she's having trouble. And just
from the moment he kind of looks up and he's not even fully in focus,
but you're just like, oh, yes, I can't wait. There is a feeling that
is hard to describe to people who I think didn't grow up around when
we did. There was a feeling of the first time in Any movie that you
see John Candy on screen, I got this feeling in Brewster's Millions, for God's sake.
And he's, you know, that's not what I think of as a John Candy movie.
But especially if you're watching the Great Outdoors or Uncle Buck or, or Summer Rental
or, I mean, whatever, right? Like all these movies and like this, when John Candy
appears on screen, the weight on my shoulders is slightly less. Like there's something very
like, like home about seeing John Candy on
screen. It's. I miss that guy so much. But, but yeah, so he, he's there
and, and in, and in particular, seeing Candy and Catherine o'
Hara operate together, it just makes my heart smile,
basically. But he basically says, you know, pulls her aside because she's losing it to
the gate agent. Like, whatever. And he's like, excuse me, know, like we talk.
I heard you say something about need to get home to your kid or whatever.
He's like, you know, and he explains who he is. He's the king, the polka
king of Wisconsin or whatever. I love his efforts to get her to recognize
who he is because it's like, she's in an emergency. He's like,
yeah, we had some hits back in the 70s. Polka, Pokapoka Poke T.
And he sold. 623 copies of that one. Okay. In Chicago.
No, in Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan. But he does offer to
the, you know, he offers to let her ride along with him. They need to
get there in Scranton. They need to get to Milwaukee. And Chicago's is right on
the way. You're going to go around the lakes there, but it's right on the
way. And you know, he's like, ah, it's Christmas. Like, come on, you know,
if you don't mind traveling with some polka bums. And she's like, yeah, I don't
mind. Let's do that, you know, please. Like, which is just really great, great character
for Candy. Yeah. Really, really good. So now she said, he says they're going to
get a van and they're going to. They're going to get going there. Yeah.
So I think Kevin. Kevin hears, overhears, the burglars,
basically saying, we're going to come back at about 9:00'. Clock. He's home alone.
You get the welcome to the Home Alone Alone. It's not quite welcome to
the Movie title, but it is a title drop. It's on the edge there.
It's on the edge, yeah. And so he, he hears
the plan and he decides, you Know that he'll be ready when he comes back.
But before he can do that, he's got a. He's got a request to make.
Kevin does. So he goes to Santa's workshop, like, whatever, in the town. The little,
like, Santa picture spot, right? And. And we
see the guy who was dressed as Santa Claus is, like, left. He's going to
his car. But Kevin asks the elf, like, hey, Santa, still here? He's like,
no, she's over. You know, he's over there where. Whatever. The guy who plays the
Santa here. We've seen him already on the podcast. Okay. He was in Groundhog Day.
Oh, so see the groundhog? The guy in the hallway. Oh, my God. Dude.
Yes. He was also on the TV show Herman's Head. He played the sort of
lustful part. I don't know if you ever saw that show, but this. It was,
like, Inside out before. Inside out was a kids thing. Was like, a adult version
on Fox TV in the early 90s. And this guy was the, like, ego,
the. Or, excuse me, the id. The, like, lustful sort of party part of the
guy's head was this actor. But, like, he.
Kevin is basically saying, all I want for Christmas is my
family back. And again I ask, why didn't
this guy call the cops? Like, how many people in this movie should have
been like this? Sounds like there's a kid, like, the grocery store clerk, the pizza
delivery guy. This Santa, like, the number of people who. Old man Marley.
Yeah. Knew that the kid was home alone. At one point, he. Okay,
if he's out and he's shoveling, like, old dudes like that do not sleep in.
He'd been awake to watch the airport shuttle. He knew if anything happens
on the street there. Glued to 100%. So he knows exactly what. The number of
people that should have called the cops is. Ridiculous. And this Santa in the moment,
but he. It takes a village to let a kid almost get killed by burglars.
Exactly. Like the number of fail safes that failed. Like,
but. But Santa, I love it. He offers him. He's like, my elf took home
all the lollipops, but you got to have something. He gives him a couple of
Tic Tacs. Yeah. You got to see something for. Get something for seeing Santa.
Don't spoil your dinner. I like that comment. Don't spoil your dinner. You gave him,
like, eight calories worth of Tic Tacs. If that. Back at.
Back at mom real quick. She's with the polka guys, and they have their
van that she had, which Turns out to be like a rider, like a box
truck, a moving truck. And she's sitting there in the back of
this freezing truck with all these dudes who are just jamming away at their instruments
playing Deck the Halls. That's right. Again, John Candy,
nobody does it better. She's just sitting there and John Candy's
playing the clarinet and he's trying to offer her. Hey, do you want to play
like as if you could just, just lose like pick up a toot
off a clarinet and just bang out some tunes with it, right? And he's being
so pushy about. He's like, no, come on, come on. And she's like, no,
as in I've never seen a clarinet before. And he's just like, oh, it's not
a big deal, it's just a clarinet. And. And then when he starts playing again,
it's like, it's such a short scene. But that interaction between them I think is
just so. Damn. Someone who did play clarinet in the elementary school
band, I will say it's actually a relatively easy instrument to pick up. I just
don't think you can jump in that quickly to polka grape plates like these guys.
But yeah. So we also then see Kevin
goes to the church that he hid near at one point, I guess to.
For absolution or something, I'm not sure what. But he sits down. There's a children's
choir singing that does. You know, it is, it is Christmas Eve
at this point, I believe. Yeah, it's Christmas Eve. So this is like, this is
obviously not like the midnight mass or. Because it would be more people. It looks
like maybe practice rehearsal or whatever. Right. For the choir. And so old man Marley
is there and Kevin and Marley have a very nice conversation. We learn a little
bit about. Marley's a bit of strange, a bit estranged, not completely, but you know,
not getting along with his adult son. So he's there because his granddaughter is in
the choir, so at least he can see her. And Kevin gives him some like
better advice than an eight year old ought to be able to. He really does.
You know, just, hey, like maybe, maybe think to yourself that it's not worth it
to be right. If. Yeah. Marley seems less comfortable
talking to a little kid. Kevin seems. Talking to him. Absolutely.
Point like he, he seems like he doesn't know what to say. And Kevin seems
like he knows what to say in response to all of Marley's stuff. It's very
interesting. It is very interesting. It's very, very flip flopped sort of roles in a
Lot of ways. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well,
now we kind of get into the meat. Right. As I say, it's like everything
to this point has been preamble. We now get back, and Kevin is preparing the
house. He's got this really amazing battle plan. You know, always love that.
I always wanted to, like, pause on it. Yeah. See the detail of it,
to grab it and. And that's, you know, it's. It's drawn
in crayon, but it looks really good. This is not the first time we've
referenced, I think, the secret of my success. We talked about Kevin's battle plan,
Fox's office, but, yeah, so it's really great. And he.
He does all this different prep stuff, and we see a few things that are
obvious, and then there's other things that aren't. Like, we see him, like, put the.
The heater on the door knob. We see him, like, do some stuff with,
like, trip wires. But we don't see every bit that he's setting up. But it's
like, they give us a lot of. He's clearly all through the house. Right.
Micro machines and putting water on the steps so it'll freeze.
And ornaments by the door. Yeah, by the window that he leaves a
window open and then leaves the. The ornaments on the ground there. Did you ever.
Did you ever play the Home Alone video game? That was on Genesis.
I think they also did on Super Nintendo. So. Yeah, but it's kind of like
Spy versus Spy, where you're in the house setting all the traps and you ride
the sled from house to house. Right. That was. I want to dig that one
up again. I want to see if that holds up. It doesn't. So.
Yeah. So he goes to sit down and make dinner. He's made dinner for himself,
like microwave macaroni and cheese. And he's like. He's lit candles and he's got,
like, the cloth milk in the wine glass. I mean, everything. And he, like,
does a little, like, says a little grace and then, you know. But as he
is ready to sit down to eat, the clock strikes nine, which is when they
said. Or eight or whatever time it was in the evening when they said they'd
be coming. Yep. And so he blows out the candles, and it's like, leaves his
piping hot bowl of Mac and cheese there and doesn't eat. Which really he should
have, like, probably take a bite. Yeah. You know, something in there. And I love
a great, great line from Culkin. He goes, this is it. Don't get scared now.
Yeah. Like psyching himself up. Funny.
Yeah. So now we basically have the, the burglars going
through all this stuff. I actually quantified the injuries for both guys and maybe we
could talk about like who actually had it worse. I mean, I know what I
think because I didn't do the math. I just know my gut says that Harry
had it much worse than Marv. But I don't know what your research came.
So I think, I think you right too. And I don't know,
maybe I can go through that now because basically with this scene, we've got,
we've got them going through the house and becoming subject to the various traps.
And if we have one we want to talk about, we'll. We'll step aside.
So here are the injuries for the two of them. Okay. Starting with Marv.
All right. Shot in the forehead with a BB gun. Right.
Slip and fall down icy stairs. Several additional slips
while at the bottom of the icy stairs falling. Hot iron to the face.
A nail through. Not all the way through, a spread halfway through it.
Enough into my foot. Right. And tar covered foot at that point too.
And then a slip and fall again down those stairs.
Now he's barefoot, stepping on glass Christmas ornaments.
When he steps in the window, he's barefoot and he sticks
both his feet in through the window, does not look down and stomps them down
so hard. It's really good. Very interesting to note,
by the way, this will not be the last time we see a movie where
somebody has to walk barefoot through glass. Yes. Right.
We're in analytics territory here, folks.
So let's see the Christmas ornaments on the feet. He slips
and falls on the micro machines that are on the ground. He takes a paint
can to the face. He gets hit in the arm very hard three times with
a crowbar. Right. He swings on a rope into a brick
wall. And then he takes a shovel to the back of the head. Okay,
so that's Mark. I mean, and let me say the things I think were maybe
like on their own own, fatal potentially. The,
the fall down the stairs wasn't a good one. That could have killed you,
depending on how you land. Right. The iron falling from
that high on your corner on that, that could be. That could kill you.
Yeah, but I don't feel like the other ones for him were necessarily fatal level.
Right. You know, they were just really interesting. The nail in the foot is,
is visually very extreme.
Right. And it's going to get infected terribly. Yeah, but that is what,
like, without quantifying this, I would have Been like, oh, Marv has it worse.
But then here's. Here's Harry's. Harry's list. All right.
BB gun to the nuts. Yes. Slip and fall in. Icy stairs twice.
The second one was real bad. He almost, like, flips over on, like. Flips over
something like somersaults, basically. Yeah. The Indiana Jones
hand burn on the. On the hot door knob where he gets the whole,
like, M for McAllister burnt into his hand.
He gets glued and feathered, which is not painful, but just embarrassing.
Slips and falls on Micro Machines. Takes a paint can to the face. He trips
over a trip wire and lands on his face. He gets whacked in the chest
with a crowbar, which I think is multiple broken ribs. I mean, that was rough.
That doesn't pierce a lung or the heart with the broken bone that it causes.
That's right. Blowtorch to his head, which I think is the
worst injury of this whole. Probably. Yeah. And then rope swing into
the brick wall and a shot shoveled to the face. Oh, man. So. And I
think that that second fall where he does the tumble could have. Should have killed
him. And I think the blowtorch could have. Should have killed him. So that's at
least two deaths for. What kind of group health insurance does
the Wet Bandits provide? I have a feeling. Yeah. They're not even on the
exchange. There's so many funny little bits, too. I love the rundown.
Let's go through. But, like, when Harry's head is steaming after
he has to dive into the snow to put out the blowtorch thing, I love
that moment. Moment. The way his sort of blistered scalp looks is really horrific.
But, like. And how he's touching it, like, so gingerly. And you hear his acting
is really good there. Yeah. The one thing I want to ask you is what
do you think about the open. Marv going to the open window and stomping down
on the ornaments? Kevin set that up to attract them to come in that way
because the window's left half open and the ornaments. But did he think there would
be a likelihood that they would be barefoot at that point? Or is it more
like you'll step up on it, you'll slip, you'll fall on them. Like, what do
you think? Yeah. So, like, you wonder if his entire plan
involved them, like, hitting the obstacles in different orders so you
know, like, what condition they'll be in when they get to the next one.
But, yeah, it doesn't work if he's. Too random because it's like he had to
go downstairs. He had to be inside the basement to get the tar to
kind of pull his shoes off, which is why he's barefoot, and then go back
outside around to a different ingress point, you know, in order to get.
So to me, it's like, that doesn't make a ton of sense. It worked out
great. But even I guess if you were to stomp that on those and slip,
that could hurt. You'd fall on the glass ornaments. That would hurt too.
Maybe. But that seemed like the. The kind of weirdest one to me.
That wasn't as obvious that. That required a lot of luck for it to work
out for sure. Exactly. And then we should, of course, mention when Harry takes the
paint can to the face, he loses his gold tooth. That's right.
Because they both have fallen down and. And Marv wants, hey, you're missing some teeth.
And he feels like, oh, my. My gold tooth. You know, whatever. And then I
don't want to skip past. After Harry trips over the tripwire,
Marv jumps over it and is able to grab Kevin by the pant
leg as he's heading up to the attic. And that is when to try to
get away. You know, Kevin can't get away. Can't get away. He sees Buzz's pet
tarantula crawling across the stair, picks it up, places it on very
gingerly on Marv's face. At which point we get the number
one scream. Absolutely. In this movie and possibly throughout the entire
decade of the 90s. I don't know that even though this is the very first
year of the the 90s, any, at least dude scream, like man scream beats
this scream by Daniel Stern. Want to point out, because of the presence of the
tarantula, Daniel Stern mimicked the scream while being filmed,
did not make any sound, and it was later added in ADR so that that
way it wouldn't terrify the tarantula and tarantula would continue to slowly walk across his
face, which makes for a much better moment. Right. But yeah, so they added.
He gets. He just kind of opened his mouth and made no noise while being
filmed. And then hell, later. Great. So, yeah,
really good screen. I mean, physical. Daniel Stern's physical comedy
is just incredible. Peshi is good too, but Daniel Stern is doing the
real, like, Pratt falling. Yeah. Peshy in this is almost odd.
It's almost kind of a crazy casting. When I think, wasn't Goodfellas
the same year? Pretty sure that was also 92, 93. I think it was 90,
honestly. But it was like 1991, it was right around this. And so to think,
think about Pesci in, in movies like Goodfellas and Casino and whatever.
But then also in this, it's just like kind of wild but stern. This was
kind of his wheelhouse was in, in physical comedies, you know.
I can't wait to see him in rookie of the year when we get to
that point. Oh yeah. But yeah, so yeah, just so
much fun stuff here with, with the traps and it's very satisfying to watch all
this happen. One thing that. So at the end of it, Kevin gets
them to chase him through the house and then he, and he gets on his
DIY zipline. And I feel like the 80s and 90s taught us that that was
way too easy and reliable of a thing to do. Like data in the
Goonies. Yeah, like how many kids were like, oh, all you need is a rope
and something that's, that can go over. The rope and that's like the handles of
a bicycle. Right, the handles of a bike. Or just whip your own belt off.
And then hold on. So Kevin, he zip
lines over to the tree house now. And the goal is he wants
them to chase him over there. And he has a plan to, to, to get
into another house to call the cops. No, he called the cops from his house.
Luckily his phone works because before he actually made it to the attic, he stopped
and like from like his parents bedroom or something, which is why they were able
to catch up to him after he says, my name's Murphy, my name is Murphy,
I live at this address. My house is getting robbed. Like, he tries to sound
like an adult, right? Which is like, thank God the phones came back on.
I guess we, we had given, been given no other indication that the phones worked
through the entire movie. In fact, we've been told several times how they don't work
work. So that worked for him. But yeah, he uses the zip line to get
across to the treehouse. And so Marv
suggests to Harry, hey, let's go back around and you know, cut him off.
He goes, no, no, he wants us to go back to his fun house.
Let's just go across. Now Harry does wrap up the horrifically
third degree burned, blistering hand that he has from the doorknob. He wraps it in
something, a handkerchief, whatever. But like can you imagine trying to put weight on that?
Like hanging. I mean that's going to hurt your hands. And enough trying to,
trying to, you know, monkey crawl, whatever, like monkey bar across a rope.
Yeah, it's going to hurt no matter what, to have the amount of damage that
he had to that hand, like, the fact that they even have him wrap it.
I feel like you shouldn't have done that. Hope that the audience forgot about it.
Yeah. Because by wrapping it, you're reminding us how injured his hand is. And now
he's supposed to be going across. But sure enough, Kevin's ahead of them mentally
and figured they would follow him that way and decides to go ahead and use
the big, like, garden shears to cut the rope. Really good to see that.
And they. They could have. They could have let go again. They dropped like,
two feet above the ground. You're falling into a soft pillow of snow instead
of swinging right into. Hold on for a little while as you slowly.
And then drop when you're a couple feet above the ground. Wouldn't have been a
big deal. Instead, they slam into the brick wall. We. We would be better burglars,
Ab. I think we should probably try it. So. So Kevin,
he makes it into the Murphy house. Yes. And he's coming in through the basement
and sees, like, this whole thing flooding. And. And he. And he goes upstairs
and basically is expecting them to maybe follow him the same way. But they're at
the door when he comes to the top of the basement stairs. Yeah. When he
got across, was heading across the street. They. They were coming around Marvin. Harry and
Marv said, let's go get him. And Harry's like, no, no, no, no. Wait,
wait, wait. Let's not follow him. I got a better idea. Because they saw Kevin
running around the back of the house and figured, ah, we'll just go in the
front. Yeah. Like, we know we can just go in the front. We robbed this
place already. Like, you know what I mean? So. So they go in and they
are waiting for him, like, in the kitchen as he comes up the stairs.
And the. The threats that they throw his way, pretty bad.
Brutal. But, you know, like, they're. They're trying to get back at him.
I love that they hang him on a hook. I love, like, those little hooks
where you can just hang a kid by their jacket.
But, you know, as they're telling him all the stuff they're going to do to
him, which a lot of it is just stuff that he had done to them.
That's right. Yeah. And from behind them comes old
man and he smacks him with the shovel. The big snow
shovel. Yeah. And he saves the day there. Would it have hurt Marley
to turn the faucet off as they walk by? Or at that point does it
matter? I guess not. Everything's kind of flooded. It's an act of crime scene.
I don't want my fingerprints to get. A good thought by Marley as the South
Bend Shovel Slayer. He should be careful. That's right. Fingerprint knows about forensic evidence.
So. So, you know, the day is the burglars are arrested.
But now Kevin, he's back at his house and he's decorated for Christmas and stuff.
But he's kind of really, really, like, feeling pretty sad. He left out cookies
and milk. He left out carrots for the reindeer, but they're peeled.
Oh, interesting. Are you peeling a reindeer carrot? It's a reindeer. No. In fact,
my kids insist on them being the carrots with a big stalk of green at
the end. It has to look like a cartoon. Like Super Mario Brothers, too.
Something. Something Bugs Bunny would have gnawed on. What's up,
doc? Yeah. So I feel like this was a craft services thing where they're like,
well, you said carrots and you yelled at me last time. They weren't peeled.
It's like. Yeah, but this is for the movie. Movie. So anyway, peeled carrots,
Peshy's writer, we have to peel all carrots. If Peshy gets one
bite of carrot skin, he's out of here. So. Yeah.
So Kevin had decorated the home and stuff. And he's kind of going to bed
also. Completely cleaned up, by the way. Apparently, it's no
evidence. Cleaned up. Yeah. Yeah. When there's, like. It's not like there was sweeping to
do. Like, there is broken. Like, there's drywall that needs to be removed.
I can't believe that the blowtorch didn't leave some black mark somewhere
on the wall or ceiling as it burned, you know, Harry alive. And he put
this stuff away. He probably hung it in his dad's, like, tool area. Right where
it goes and everything. Exactly. So before we. Before we
wrap it up, we've got kind of the end of Mom's journey in the car
and this scene here. Again, how much total John Candy screen
time? Probably less than three minutes. Right. I give him maybe five. Maybe five.
Between all the scenes, he's like, maybe. Not in all that much. Right.
And he's telling her a story, and she's saying, I feel like such a
bad mother leaving my kid home alone. He's like, oh, don't feel like a bad
mother. I look around and he's pointing to his different Polka guys. Oh, this guy,
he sees his kids, you know, once a month, whatever. This guy doesn't even know
his kids. Oh, I hope they never write a book about him, you know.
And then his story that he tells where he says,
well, I left my kid in a funeral home. Yeah, yeah. All day,
all day. Funeral parlor. Left him. I left him there alone
with the corpse in the room all day, all day. And, you know, by the
time we finally got him, he was pretty upset. You know, the kids are resilient,
though. Another six, seven weeks, he started talking again. And it is such
a dark joke to be in this, like, family Christmas
classic. And at the very end of it, by one of the greatest comedic actors
we've had. Two of the greatest comedic actors we've ever had in this scene
together. Yeah, it. What a. What a treat. I mean, that to me puts
this movie. Movie over the top. They didn't. The movie would have been fine and
very popular without that. And it's this really good dark
joke delivered by one of the greatest. And one of the best things about it
is that Candy improv it on the scene. Crazy. That was not written.
They just told him just tell a story about like, you know, leaving a kid
somewhere crazy off the dome. John Candy brought that heat.
Like that is just like, so wild. But yeah, one of the
best. One of the best moments. Absolutely hilarious. And. And, And Catherine o' Hara's response
is because again, she's hearing this story for the first time. This wasn't at a
table read. So she. Her subdued like. Oh,
like kind of, you know, like the little like faces that she makes and stuff,
or she's trying desperately to not burst out laughing at John Candy story.
It's fantastic. Really, really good. So we get to Christmas morning.
Kevin wakes up, goes downstairs, kind of looks around, whatever, and.
And as he realizes everybody's still gone and looking very dejected,
he turns kind of away from the front door and that's when mom comes in
and there is, you know, this reunion. I got to be you honest with honest.
I. Kevin's initial sort of I'm mad at you look like before he
smiles and hugs her. It's like, I don't buy it. Yeah. Even this precocious kid,
after what he went through, the second his mom comes through, would have been burst
into tears running to her like, ma, you know, totally. Oh, my God, you're alive,
you're here. You know, it would have been like that. But we don't quite get
that. We get a little. Because he didn't know she was on her way back.
He thought they were all just gone. Forever, like dead, potentially. Right. He had no
idea they were trying to get home or that they'd gone to France or anything
else. They were just gone one. Yeah. But we have to get the little judgmental,
you know, look from, from Macaulay Culkin first. But yeah, and then of course the,
the most hilarious part of it all is that moments later the rest of his
family, Buzz and his dad and his brother and other brother and sisters all come
in. Because the flight they took, the flight they were offered. Exactly the, the,
the. The two days you'd have to wait. She could have spent with them in
Paris instead of running all over the world by herself. Although she would not have
met Gus in the. The Polka bums. So that, you know, worked out, out for
her. But yeah, that's basically it. The only kind of thing that happens at one
point, although Kevin cleaned everything up throughout the house, apparently missed
Harry's gold tooth. Right. Because Peter the dad finds it and goes, honey,
what's this? You know, and he kind of like looks like he can tell it's
a tooth. Like maybe I should. He makes that. That. It's a toothpaste. Yeah,
that's, that's like a very distinct face. I don't understand with all this that happened.
Right. And he's not going around checking out anything or just like never letting
go of his son. Right. He's like, hey, hey, honey. Hey, I know you've been
traveling for, for four days straight trying to get to our son who's been left
home alone. Please explain this thing. This is, I mean, it's like
encapsulates everything about feeling like a dipshit husband sometimes where I'll
be around my house and be like not know where something is and it's right
in front of my face and it just gets pointed out once I. Right,
yeah. Like you have to involve another person to make you
look stupid to find something thing. But yeah, I love that. Like number
one question, what's this girl tooth? Number two, how's Kevin doing? Yeah. Yeah.
I think the only thing we see then too is Kevin looking out the window
and old man Marley and his son and granddaughter and I guess you know,
his daughter in law, they're all there and, and hugging and they're clearly reuniting.
And that's real sweet. So really cool to see that. And, and he waves at
Kevin because clearly he was inspired by the young man's, you know, speech in the
church. Yeah. To do that. So that is Home Alone. That's the whole movie.
That's it. Fantastic stuff. So Much fun. You picked this one
for us, Nick. Why don't you throw us your rating first? Yeah, man. This was
a fun one to talk about and, and I'm still going to watch this again,
I think, before Christmas. Like, it's just,
it's so well done and it just makes me feel very happy to
watch the score. Everything. It gets extra points for me for the, the holiday
theme because it, it does just give you a certain feeling.
And then I think the thing that really puts it over the top, like I
talked about, is the John Canyon candy bits. Oh, yeah. I think the John candy
bits actually make this a five out of five for me because I
could watch this with anybody. I really
get excited watching this at Christmas time and then I think just seeing these performances.
Even Catherine o' Hara was pretty much like a straight performer for most of the
movie, but the scenes of her really freaking out are incredibly good.
And it's interesting watching this to say, like, the people that probably had the best
career post Home Alone. Yeah. Would be for
sure. Katherine o'. Hara and then maybe Kieran Culin.
Absolutely. He's got. Right. Those would be the big two dogs from this movie,
which is kind of unexpected. Not John Herd Culkin, like. Right.
But man, great cast, great movie, great job by my man
John Hughes directing this. Exactly. Sorry, Christopher Columbus.
But yeah, this is a five. Mean, see it if
you haven't seen it, man, it, it's great. And I think it still holds up.
Well, I think I, I think we would be hard pressed to find a listener
of, of this podcast. You know, there's not a ton of them yet. I think
we'd be hard pressed to find somebody interested in this who hasn't seen Home Alone.
Yeah. Yeah, it's more like. Has it been 20 years since you've seen it?
Yeah, you should. And if they've listened to the episode till now, to have me
be like, hey, I'd recommend maybe checking it out. Oh, I think I'll do that.
All right, so you give it a five. So for me, yeah, this is like,
like this is a Christmas classic. It's a ton of fun.
It's definitely over time, it's become kind of like not,
not like one of my favorite Christmas movies per se. I definitely have gravitated more
towards the slightly more adult oriented Christmas movies over the
years, but this is a ton of fun. It's, it's, it's classic.
It's very 90s, you know, everything about it fits great. And for me,
it's a four out of five. Not quite there at the five out of five,
but yeah, four out of five for me. So that's a nine out of ten.
Ten from the two dads on Home Alone, which is like right where it needs
to be I think for sure. And yeah, so that's Home Alone.
And I guess that means I get to pick next. Yeah. What, what are we
opening up next on the Dadvent calendar here? So we started off with a
movie that was sort of like arguably was it, Is it a Christmas movie?
Our first dad Van Calendar movies, Trading Places. We, we have agree that it is,
but I could see people make the. Argument like is that really a Christmas movie?
And then we went second to the Ref, which was my choice, which is clearly
a Christmas movie, but it was like not a box office success. It was like,
you know, not a well known movie. And so everything. And now here we've hit
the like the classic 80s 90s family Christmas movie. Right.
So I think next what we're going to do is we're going to go back
a little bit in concept, like is this a Christmas movie? And I don't think
there's any doubt. I think this movie is 100% a Christmas movie. I think the
people who wrote it think it's 100% a Christmas movie. The director has said it's
100% a Christmas movie. The star didn't necessarily, necessarily agree, but who cares?
So we are going to take a trip to downtown Los Angeles
and we're going to go to a Christmas party at Nakatomi Plaza and we're gonna
watch Die Hard. And I'm so excited. I can't wait.
I'm psyched about this. I knew this was coming and yippee
ki, let's get after it. Absolutely. A Christmas
movie couldn't. The story could not work without Christmas. It's set on Christmas Eve.
It takes place over the course of a single evening of just Christmas Eve.
There's so much about it that is tied to the holiday. It is
absolutely a Christmas movie. I don't want to hear. I will brook no dissent on
that. And, and it's one of just honestly take Christmas
out of it. It's one of the, the best action movies of the 80s for
sure. So that's gonna be a ton of fun. Join us next week listener and
you'll hear us talk about the movie Die Hard. That'll be about wraps it up.
So if you like what you hear, and we hope you do, please consider heading
over to Apple or Spotify and leaving us a five star review. It really helps
new folks find the show. If you want to drop us a line, share your
thoughts on an episode, tell us what we got wrong, or suggest a movie we
should do next, you can do so@theshowdadsonemovie.com.
that's the number two and the number one. You can also follow us on Instagram
@2dads1movie and check out that website at 2dads1movie. Calm. Once again,
this has been Home Alone, another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movement Movie. I'm Steve.
And I'm Nick. Thank you so much for listening and we'll catch you next week.