WEBVTT 00:00.915 --> 00:04.526 But they're engaged. Doesn't matter. It can't happen. Why not? It's bound 00:05.026 --> 00:08.700 to come up. It's impossible. Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think 00:09.200 --> 00:12.392 her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows 00:12.892 --> 00:15.924 a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you 00:16.424 --> 00:19.825 think it's strong enough to carry his child? Sure. Why not? He's an alien, 00:19.921 --> 00:23.710 for Christ's sake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow 00:24.210 --> 00:27.081 sun. If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach. 00:27.589 --> 00:30.984 Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. 00:31.340 --> 00:34.234 The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. 00:34.864 --> 00:38.334 That would kill him. How's it I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex 00:38.834 --> 00:40.895 with Brandy to man of steel coital debates with you in the food court? 00:41.072 --> 00:43.617 Cookie stand is not part of the food court. What? Of course it is. 00:45.130 --> 00:48.606 The food court is downstairs. The cookie stand is upstairs. It's not like we're talking 00:48.703 --> 00:51.873 quantum physics here. The cookie stand counts as an eatery. The eateries are part of 00:52.373 --> 00:55.760 the food court. Bullshit! Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs qualify 00:56.260 --> 00:59.579 as food court. Anything outside of said designated square Square 01:00.032 --> 01:02.720 is considered an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking. 01:05.506 --> 01:08.632 It's 2 Dads 1 Movie. It's the podcast where 2 middle-aged 01:08.680 --> 01:12.147 dads sit around and shoot the shit about the movies of the '80s 01:12.647 --> 01:15.999 and '90s. Here are your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nic Briana. 01:17.990 --> 01:21.144 Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie. 01:21.242 --> 01:26.192 I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. And today we are talking about the 1995 01:26.692 --> 01:30.446 Sophomore release from filmmaker Kevin Smith, Mallrats. And this 01:30.946 --> 01:34.279 was my pick for us. Uh, we, we saw Clerks a couple months ago as 01:34.392 --> 01:36.669 part of our, like, 2 Dads, 2 Decades as we're going through. That came out 01:37.169 --> 01:40.614 in '94. So a year later, Smith gets a significant amount of money 01:40.726 --> 01:44.110 from Miramax, uh, who of course distributed Clerks because 01:44.610 --> 01:48.504 he made, right, 11,000% or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Of the invested 01:49.004 --> 01:50.493 money on Clerks. So they were like, oh, this guy knows what he's doing, 01:50.509 --> 01:54.501 let's give him money. So Miramax no longer exists as a 01:55.001 --> 01:58.461 studio as of today. I'm not saying this is why, but no. 01:58.525 --> 02:00.961 So, you know, we'll get into the facts and get into the specifics, but this 02:01.009 --> 02:04.151 has always been in many ways, like, we know, you know, 02:04.360 --> 02:06.812 we talked about this when we did Clerks. I'm kind of a big Smith head. 02:06.941 --> 02:10.387 Yeah, yeah. I love Kevin Smith movies. Big Jay and Silent Bob guy. Haven't gotten 02:10.887 --> 02:12.920 as much into like Red State and Tusk and some of the ones he does 02:13.177 --> 02:16.623 that are outside what they call the View Askewniverse, which is all the Jay and 02:17.123 --> 02:20.923 Silent Bob related stuff. Right. But I love these movies, and, and I have never 02:20.955 --> 02:24.389 once thought Mallrats was the best of his movies in 02:24.421 --> 02:28.771 this sort of universe, but I think it's been my favorite for most 02:29.271 --> 02:33.008 of the time. Uh, it's— personally, I love this one. And did you see— did 02:33.508 --> 02:36.779 you see Clerks first before this? So this, you would have been 02:37.279 --> 02:40.005 aware maybe of this and then gone back to Clerks? Yeah, I'm almost positive I 02:40.505 --> 02:43.311 saw this in like '96, maybe before I saw Clerks. 02:43.504 --> 02:45.810 Uh, But it was like close. It was like, I think as soon as I 02:46.310 --> 02:49.410 saw Mallrats, it may have even been '95 depending on— yeah, and this came out 02:49.910 --> 02:52.370 late '95, so it wouldn't have hit VHS until like early '96. I probably saw 02:52.870 --> 02:55.270 it like when it hit Blockbuster 'cause it was all comic books. Yeah. You know, 02:55.770 --> 02:58.830 even the like cover art for the VHS sleeve, right, was like very comic booky. 02:58.920 --> 03:02.070 And it was like a Star Wars reference. It looked like the Star Wars poster 03:02.570 --> 03:06.050 with like Renée at Brody's feet and like, you know, 03:06.550 --> 03:09.050 it looks kind of like that thing. So I grabbed it right away and then, 03:09.550 --> 03:11.050 you know, didn't know who Kevin Smith was, but like as soon as I watched 03:11.550 --> 03:14.252 this, I was like, that's cool. Oh, he's got this other movie. Also at Blockbuster. 03:14.300 --> 03:17.048 Nice. You should go check that out. So I think by like early '95, 03:17.064 --> 03:20.133 I'd seen both movies. And then, you know, it was actually funny. I didn't see 03:20.165 --> 03:23.346 Chasing Amy, the one that comes after this, until many, many years later after seeing 03:23.378 --> 03:26.126 like Dogma and a couple others of his movies. For some reason, Chasing Amy missed 03:26.626 --> 03:30.047 me. And that might actually be the best, like best film that he did in 03:30.547 --> 03:33.084 this sort of group. We'll probably get to it at some point 'cause it was 03:33.421 --> 03:36.619 also the '90s. But yeah, so Nic, what's your background, 03:36.667 --> 03:40.190 if any, with Mallrats? Yeah, so, Never seen this. 03:40.690 --> 03:43.220 I think I might've caught parts of it before 'cause some of it looked familiar, 03:43.310 --> 03:45.890 but watching the whole thing, I was like, I definitely haven't sat and watched this 03:46.390 --> 03:49.750 before. Sure. Yeah, and like we talked about before with 03:50.250 --> 03:53.670 Clerks, like I was never really like a Kevin Smith guy. Yeah. Although I did 03:54.170 --> 03:56.530 see Dogma like kind of soon after it came out. Okay. Not in the theater, 03:57.030 --> 03:59.690 but like pretty soon video. I really liked that one, I remember. Yeah. And then 04:00.190 --> 04:02.970 that became like a pretty hard to find video for years. And I don't know 04:03.470 --> 04:06.650 if it was like a studio clearance thing or just they, 04:07.150 --> 04:08.550 I don't know what it was. Oh, I got the story on that if you 04:09.050 --> 04:12.277 want to do it real quick. Yeah, yeah. Harvey Weinstein personally owned the rights 04:12.486 --> 04:16.081 to Dogma. Oh, okay. Himself. So Smith has gone on 04:16.097 --> 04:18.552 record many times talking about this. I've been to a couple of like an evening 04:18.568 --> 04:22.035 with Kevin Smith sort of spoken word Q&A sessions with him over 04:22.535 --> 04:25.774 the years. A lot of fun. He's a really fantastic speaker, tells great stories. 04:26.512 --> 04:28.839 And one of the stories that he told a few years ago— I think this 04:29.339 --> 04:31.182 has changed now because Dogma is now more available. I think it's back out on 04:31.682 --> 04:35.082 DVD. I think Smith re-bought the rights. He kept trying to buy the rights 04:35.582 --> 04:39.015 from Weinstein through, you know, their respective representation, 04:39.112 --> 04:42.517 right? While Weinstein's in jail, he was offering him like, man, I'll pay you like 04:42.565 --> 04:45.135 $800 grand for the rights to this movie. Like, what, what are you gonna do 04:45.151 --> 04:48.733 with it? You're in jail, kind of thing, whatever. And Weinstein basically like never responded. 04:48.846 --> 04:51.673 And Smith felt so dirty offering this guy money to begin with, but he wanted 04:52.173 --> 04:55.223 to own his, his— Yeah, yeah. You know, so I do believe— I don't know 04:55.271 --> 04:58.194 the details of how or what transpired, but I do believe that, 04:58.403 --> 05:00.893 uh, since that— because I think this is a story I remember hearing about 4 05:01.393 --> 05:05.010 or 5 years ago— and since then Smith has regained the 05:05.510 --> 05:08.850 rights one way or another. Okay, so that's why it's been around a couple years. 05:09.150 --> 05:12.410 Yeah, exactly. Last couple years you can find it, but before, yeah, maybe last year 05:12.910 --> 05:16.370 or the year before, I think at the latest or furthest back, you couldn't find 05:16.870 --> 05:20.290 it on DVD. It was not streaming anywhere. No, my wife found me a 05:20.790 --> 05:23.150 copy. I almost thought like it didn't. I almost thought I hallucinated it for like 05:23.650 --> 05:27.530 a stretch of a couple years because I couldn't remember it clearly enough to be 05:28.030 --> 05:30.810 sure, right? And it's like, I can't fucking find it anywhere. I have a vague 05:31.310 --> 05:33.210 recollection of a movie where Alanis Morissette was God. Like, did I— was that a 05:33.710 --> 05:36.770 fever dream? Or was that right? Yeah, anyway, 05:37.270 --> 05:39.350 that's not the one we're talking about today. Okay, so it turns out Harvey Weinstein, 05:39.850 --> 05:42.490 bad guy. Oh my, yes, as it turns out. I'm not sure if there are 05:42.990 --> 05:46.110 other reasons that he, you know, should be shunned, but certainly, yeah. 05:46.610 --> 05:50.270 Yeah, so, so that was kind of my limit of Kevin Smith experience. We watched 05:50.770 --> 05:53.710 Clerks a couple months ago and stuff. So yeah, I'm pretty new to this one. 05:54.210 --> 05:56.990 And, you know, even the actors in it, like a lot of people are not 05:57.490 --> 06:00.890 ones you see a lot. Although I did like Jason Lee from that show, 06:01.390 --> 06:03.690 My Name Is Earl. Oh yeah. I thought he was, he was funny in that. 06:04.190 --> 06:06.940 He's been a funny actor in a lot of things. Yeah. Um, but yeah, 06:06.972 --> 06:10.166 this was like a lot of unfamiliarity for me. So, uh, 06:10.342 --> 06:14.130 yeah, pretty, pretty fresh to this one. And of course, if you're, if you're familiar 06:14.178 --> 06:17.708 at all with, with the kind of broader Kevin Smith universe, the people 06:18.208 --> 06:21.287 like Jason Lee, Ben Affleck, uh, you know, um, 06:21.881 --> 06:24.224 there's just a handful, obviously the Jay and Silent Bob characters. There are a handful 06:24.724 --> 06:27.786 of people in this movie. Joey Lauren Adams shows up a bunch as multiple characters. 06:28.284 --> 06:32.007 Um, you know, you get used to seeing these actors together. And I love too, 06:32.071 --> 06:35.233 there's like a little funny, funny connection because this is Jeremy London. 06:35.747 --> 06:39.346 Uh, I believe— crap, I can never remember. Yes, this one's Jeremy London. 06:39.699 --> 06:43.298 His twin brother Jason London was in Dazed and Confused. Joey Lauren Adams was 06:43.379 --> 06:46.849 also in that, but like, you know, with the other London twin. It seems like 06:47.349 --> 06:51.107 there's some early, like, at least Kevin Smith link letter crossover between 06:51.607 --> 06:54.690 like some of the casting. I was even reading about the, the casting director because 06:54.722 --> 06:57.936 when I was looking at the credits, I was like, there's a lot of Scientologists 06:58.436 --> 07:00.619 in this movie. And I was like, I wonder if that, you know— so I 07:00.667 --> 07:03.379 go into my rabbit hole. But it turned out he did the casting for a 07:03.879 --> 07:07.211 lot of Richard Linklater stuff. He's the guy who discovered McConaughey in a bar in 07:07.403 --> 07:11.107 Austin to cast him in Dazed and Confused and stuff. So yeah, anyway, like a 07:11.607 --> 07:14.794 lot of crossover with those, those 2 guys was like young filmmakers of the '90s. 07:14.939 --> 07:17.360 And if you're thinking about, you know, we talked when we saw Desperado, we talked 07:17.860 --> 07:21.127 about like the connections between like Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, P.T. Anderson, Kevin Smith. 07:21.175 --> 07:24.398 These guys were all operating Linklater right at around the same time. Yeah, kind of 07:24.898 --> 07:28.631 in the same ballpark of like budgets and indieness and whatever. So a lot of 07:29.131 --> 07:31.260 these guys knew each other and there was, yeah, a lot of, if not if 07:31.276 --> 07:34.596 not just conversation, sometimes even like collaboration that kind of went under the radar. 07:34.740 --> 07:37.867 Yeah. So it wouldn't shock me if there was a tighter connection there. So let's 07:38.367 --> 07:40.321 jump into the facts. That's a lot of preamble. Let's jump into the facts on 07:40.337 --> 07:43.368 Mallrats. The film Mallrats was released on October 20th, 07:43.416 --> 07:46.496 1995 with an R rating and a running time of 95 minutes. 07:47.009 --> 07:50.104 Written and directed by Kevin Smith, it stars Shannen Doherty, Jeremy London, 07:50.216 --> 07:53.568 and Jason Lee. Rotten Tomatoes didn't— the critics didn't love 07:54.068 --> 07:57.801 this. We get a 58%, just under that freshness bar of 60. 07:58.234 --> 08:01.777 We get an even 7.0 from IMDb, which is again sort of right at 08:01.825 --> 08:04.935 that bar of like, is this a good movie or not? And then Siskel and 08:04.967 --> 08:08.494 Ebert were the old curmudgeons on this one and gave it 2 08:08.994 --> 08:12.357 thumbs down. There was no awards activity whatsoever that I 08:12.857 --> 08:16.845 could find. Completely blank awards page on IMDb, partly because 08:16.974 --> 08:20.164 on a $6 million budget, this pulled in just $2.1 million 08:20.340 --> 08:24.091 at the box office for about 0.35 times 08:24.123 --> 08:27.457 what it cost. So we'll have to see how that stacks up to Basketball as 08:27.569 --> 08:30.696 far as— Yeah. negative return on investment from a 08:31.196 --> 08:34.464 percentage standpoint. Right. So this was a rough one, though. 08:34.849 --> 08:37.656 Harvey Weinstein may have lost some money on this one. He might have. 08:37.736 --> 08:41.873 Hopefully. We can only hope, you know? So, okay, so I'm 08:42.373 --> 08:44.278 gonna kick this off. Yeah, please. But before I do, I'm gonna put a little 08:44.407 --> 08:46.732 thing in here, which is that one of the things I love about this movie 08:47.232 --> 08:50.019 is the director's commentary track that you could get on DVD. 08:50.484 --> 08:52.825 It's still available. It's out there. If you get a Blu-ray or DVD, it should 08:53.325 --> 08:56.257 be there. It's one of the best DVD commentary tracks I've ever heard. Because it's 08:56.757 --> 09:00.331 Kevin Smith, Jason Lee. It's not Jeremy London, but it's like Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, 09:00.748 --> 09:03.875 Scott Mosier, who is a producer on almost all of Kevin Smith stuff and also 09:03.971 --> 09:07.114 in this in a small role. Ben Affleck is there, and they're all just sitting 09:07.614 --> 09:09.504 around chatting, and it almost like you could imagine these guys all have like a 09:10.004 --> 09:12.519 beer or a joint or something, and they're just hanging out, right? And just chatting. 09:13.337 --> 09:16.288 Kevin goes into a lot of stuff about the original cut of this movie, 09:16.304 --> 09:20.570 which was two hours long, not ninety-five minutes, and it included this entire subplot 09:20.890 --> 09:24.690 where. The friction between Mr. Svenning and T.S. 09:24.994 --> 09:28.040 is actually based not in this story that we'll get to at the beginning here 09:28.088 --> 09:30.813 of a girl dying mid-backstroke at the YMCA, 09:31.390 --> 09:36.039 but instead at a botched attempt, like a botched event 09:36.539 --> 09:40.127 where Svenning is supposed to get a check from the governor to like spruce up 09:40.627 --> 09:43.301 his public access channel or whatever, like bring his business to the next level. 09:43.429 --> 09:46.635 Yeah. And T.S., it gets caught up in this thing where 09:47.135 --> 09:50.386 it's like he's dressed as a Revolutionary War soldier for a play that's 09:50.886 --> 09:53.752 gonna go on in the governor's honor. He's got a musket. It ends up looking 09:54.252 --> 09:56.910 like he tries to shoot the governor and like it fires a blank and everything. 09:56.958 --> 09:59.571 And it all gets like figured out, but the governor doesn't give Svenning the money 09:59.684 --> 10:03.579 and he then resents T.S. And there are references throughout the movie 10:04.028 --> 10:07.362 to this event at the governor's mansion that was eventually cut for the theatrical release 10:07.458 --> 10:10.151 and continued to be referenced over and over again. So they had to cut all 10:10.440 --> 10:13.694 kinds of stuff throughout. There's places where like if someone's back was turned, they would 10:14.194 --> 10:17.205 just re-record the audio, like the vocal track or whatever. Yeah. Other places they had 10:17.221 --> 10:20.683 to like get creative or like add a little scene here or there. So I'll 10:21.183 --> 10:24.434 point out some places where that happens because I have seen the extended cut and 10:24.594 --> 10:28.160 can kind of comment just 'cause I think it's interesting. But we start off 10:28.660 --> 10:32.610 the very beginning with this story from Brody, 10:32.800 --> 10:35.780 the Jason Lee character, where he's talking about Cousin Walter. And there's all these stories 10:36.280 --> 10:39.840 about Cousin Walter. You'll hear references to Cousin Walter throughout many of the movies. 10:40.340 --> 10:44.340 You'll hear references to Walt Flanagan throughout many of the movies. And Walt Flanagan's 10:44.840 --> 10:47.640 a real guy. I believe he's actually in this. You know, he's one of these 10:48.140 --> 10:50.540 bit actors that shows up in Kevin's movies as a childhood friend of Kevin's. 10:51.040 --> 10:53.040 So there's just a lot of like references. Like there's something about, like at one 10:53.540 --> 10:55.240 point Jay says, guy's faster than Walt Flanagan's dog. It's like, that is just a 10:55.740 --> 10:58.940 reference between friends. Like, there is no reason anyone else would have 10:59.440 --> 11:02.440 anything to do or anything to understand that. So Brody's talking about, like, 11:02.940 --> 11:05.960 Uncle Walter— not, his cousin Walter, and, like, buying gerbils and, like, getting them stuck 11:06.460 --> 11:09.480 up his— it's a crazy story about getting gerbils stuck in your ass while we're 11:09.980 --> 11:12.620 seeing pictures of the stores in the mall to kind of establish that the mall 11:13.120 --> 11:15.580 is where this movie takes place. Because in the original cut with the governor's mansion, 11:16.080 --> 11:18.200 they didn't get to the mall until 29 minutes into the movie, which was one 11:18.700 --> 11:21.360 of the reasons they were told to be a little more judicious in the cuts. 11:21.520 --> 11:24.520 And then we get, like, this opening credit sequence with, like, it's all comic books. 11:25.020 --> 11:28.039 And then finally, when the movie starts, 'cause it is several minutes in, With all 11:28.539 --> 11:31.745 this going on. Yep. We see T.S. Quint, played by Jeremy London, uh, 11:31.873 --> 11:35.210 driving up, uh, with a loaded station wagon ready to go to Florida to his 11:35.242 --> 11:38.498 girlfriend Brandy Svenning's house, and Brandy is outside 11:38.531 --> 11:41.996 waiting for him. Yeah. Um, and I will say 11:42.496 --> 11:46.070 the beginning, like the, the comic, the drawings of the actors as the credits, 11:46.086 --> 11:49.969 like that was pretty cool. And this is before like this huge wave of everything 11:50.081 --> 11:53.354 is like— it's not— you see something that's, oh, it's comic books, like who gives 11:53.854 --> 11:56.833 a fuck now? But back then it was like, oh, this is kind of neat. 11:57.057 --> 12:00.616 To this point, you had like Superman movies, you had Batman movies, but the X-Men 12:00.664 --> 12:04.046 in 1998 or '99, one of the two is when X-Men came out. That's when 12:04.546 --> 12:08.102 it was like, oh, wait a minute, maybe there's more that we can do here 12:08.602 --> 12:11.613 with comics. And it was like Spider-Man with Tobey Maguire in like 2000 or '01 12:11.629 --> 12:15.011 that really, okay, now we know we can keep running with this kind of 12:15.511 --> 12:18.778 thing. So yeah, so this was this comic book angle, this idea 12:19.278 --> 12:20.846 of like putting Stan Lee in the movie and like all this stuff. This was 12:21.346 --> 12:23.683 like pretty fresh. This was not, you know, today it seems much more common 'cause 12:23.731 --> 12:28.176 the MCU and everything and Stan Lee before he passed, RIP, was like in several 12:28.676 --> 12:31.645 of those MCU Disney movies just being in the sidelines somewhere in the background. 12:31.693 --> 12:34.729 He was very available to be like sitting at a cafe or something. Exactly, 12:34.809 --> 12:38.520 on a bus or whatever, like, you know, watching something on his little phone 12:39.020 --> 12:42.374 or something. Yeah. Um, so, so TS and his girlfriend 12:42.874 --> 12:46.326 are like having an argument, right, where TS had told, 12:46.615 --> 12:49.907 uh, he had— the, the argument is that he had told some girl who 12:50.407 --> 12:53.280 was going to be on the TV show that the camera adds Like 10 pounds, 12:53.780 --> 12:57.040 right? 10, 15 pounds, yeah. So they're in this discussion, and it 12:57.540 --> 13:00.620 turns out that this girl, did she kill herself or did she— So she gets 13:01.120 --> 13:04.560 into the pool at the YMCA and starts doing laps, 13:05.060 --> 13:07.200 just doing laps, doing laps, doing laps, and dies of a heart attack, which is 13:07.700 --> 13:10.820 referenced in Clerks, right? This is the girl. This is 13:11.320 --> 13:13.100 the funeral they went to? This is the funeral they went to. Okay. So this 13:13.600 --> 13:17.420 is Dante Hicks and, I can't remember the character's 13:17.920 --> 13:21.631 name. Randall. Randall, Randall, thank you. Randall Graves are gonna go to the funeral of 13:21.647 --> 13:25.162 that girl on this day as well. So this takes place on the same 13:25.194 --> 13:28.452 day as Clerks. Oh, okay, gotcha. Okay. Uh, Jane, Silent Bob apparently 13:28.709 --> 13:31.036 move around a lot, or maybe it's like the day after. It's— but it's like 13:31.116 --> 13:34.647 right at the same time because that event is what is the, the funeral they 13:35.147 --> 13:38.386 go to in Clerks. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. And, and when they're having this discussion here, 13:38.659 --> 13:41.740 um, for some reason the girlfriend says TS like 13:42.240 --> 13:45.560 60,000 fucking times, and I just want to rip her vocal 13:45.640 --> 13:49.283 cords out temporarily until she calms down and stops saying it because 13:49.783 --> 13:53.080 it was driving me fucking crazy. Um, but it turns out she's like, 13:53.580 --> 13:56.620 you know, I'm not going on this trip anymore. Like, this girl was supposed to 13:57.120 --> 14:00.240 be the contestant on my dad's show, and now he needs a 14:00.740 --> 14:03.810 contestant, and that's gotta be me. We're not doing this trip anymore. 14:03.820 --> 14:06.440 And she's like, my dad's so pissed at you, and the only way I could 14:06.940 --> 14:08.340 calm him down— but I did calm him down. He's like, oh great, how? 14:08.840 --> 14:10.680 He's like, well, I told him I do the show. And T.S. is like super 14:11.180 --> 14:13.640 pissed at it because he's calling it like you're putting yourself on an auction block. 14:14.140 --> 14:17.200 It's sort of a Dating Game ripoff thing where there's one— they call them suitors 14:17.700 --> 14:20.700 and suitorettes in order to like avoid being directly naming convention or naming a conflict. 14:22.270 --> 14:25.450 And so, you know, he's super pissed. A, he was going to take her down 14:25.950 --> 14:28.070 there. They're going to Florida to Universal, whatever. And he was going to propose to 14:28.570 --> 14:31.090 her. We find out in a minute. And she obviously didn't know that clearly. 14:31.590 --> 14:33.910 But she's like, I'm not going to Florida. And he's like super pissed off about 14:34.410 --> 14:37.310 it. And he responds poorly. But these are like 22, 23-year-old, 21-year-old kids. Like these 14:37.810 --> 14:40.490 are not like mature adults really, right? These people are still young. 14:40.850 --> 14:43.660 So he reacts like an idiot. Yeah, totally acceptable. 14:44.510 --> 14:48.150 But this was the replacement storyline to sort of like spark the why 14:48.650 --> 14:51.870 is there a problem between TS and Mr. Svenning that replaces the whole governor's mansion 14:52.370 --> 14:55.910 thing is just this comment about the contestant. and everything. So was the 14:56.410 --> 14:59.530 rest of it the same then? Like, mostly. There are a few places— I'll point 15:00.030 --> 15:01.730 out a few places where they changed stuff. Most of it just got cut. 15:02.230 --> 15:04.930 Like I said, 25 whole minutes was cut, and the opening sequence was like 15 15:05.430 --> 15:08.910 of it. So they cut other stuff throughout to kind of like no longer reference 15:09.410 --> 15:13.050 those things. A couple places that got left in, but yeah. Um, so, 15:13.550 --> 15:16.770 uh, so now we're with, uh, Brody, right? Right. So then we cut to Brody 15:17.270 --> 15:19.530 and Renee, and this is Jason Lee and Shannen Doherty. And I'll say real quickly, 15:20.030 --> 15:23.490 I've never really thought of Shannen Doherty as a particularly talented actress. Like, 15:23.990 --> 15:24.370 not saying she's terrible or anything, but like, just never thought of her as great. 15:26.427 --> 15:28.831 We know, 'cause we've talked about it with Clerks, and it's still here, it gets 15:28.847 --> 15:31.700 better over the years, but Smith's dialogue can be very, 15:31.972 --> 15:36.027 a mouthful. It can be a lot for actors to do. She delivers 15:36.123 --> 15:39.505 the lines that he wrote better than anyone in this movie. I think that's true. 15:39.585 --> 15:43.047 She really, her cadence is good, it sounds natural when she does it. 15:43.112 --> 15:46.461 Jason Lee is close, Ben Affleck's not bad, and these are like legit 15:46.961 --> 15:49.907 talented actors, a lot of the other people. Jeremy London suffers big time. 15:50.164 --> 15:54.980 Joey Lorne Adams suffers big time for this dialogue, and even the 15:55.480 --> 15:59.080 Brandy character. Like, you know, it's tough, right? This dialogue isn't easy. Um, but Shannen 15:59.580 --> 16:02.800 Doherty really does a good job. Anyway, they wake up in, in, uh, Jason Lee's 16:03.300 --> 16:05.820 bed, in Brody's bed. Apparently he lives in the basement of his mom's house. 16:06.320 --> 16:08.540 So, you know, she has to like sneak out because he still, you know, 16:09.040 --> 16:11.340 like doesn't want to introduce her to his mom or whatever. He's afraid of his 16:11.840 --> 16:14.420 mom. And she dumps him. She, she talks about how she cries in the morning 16:14.920 --> 16:16.740 thinking about all the people doing things with their lives, and all she has time 16:17.240 --> 16:20.260 to do is fuck him. And so she throws a note at him and she 16:20.760 --> 16:23.420 climbs out the, like, that little basement window that's like that half tiny little window. 16:23.920 --> 16:26.632 I wish I had that. Even if like the house, the room was full fully 16:27.132 --> 16:30.358 above ground. I would like the, like, the illusion of that basement window, 16:30.406 --> 16:33.394 you know? Just put like a mound up to it so there's still ground, 16:33.442 --> 16:36.622 right? Like, have a bulldozer, just shove a big pile of dirt up there. 16:37.136 --> 16:40.236 Uh, and Brody is playing a hockey video game, which we— I mean, 16:40.509 --> 16:43.866 hockey once again, dude. I, I created the trope hockey 16:44.444 --> 16:47.496 on, on the website, and I've tagged every movie that has either like a person 16:47.996 --> 16:50.788 wearing a hockey jersey, someone playing hockey in real life, someone playing hockey in a 16:51.288 --> 16:54.440 video game, any reference to hockey. So this movie will be 16:54.940 --> 16:57.090 included in that. So much more than any other sport so far. Yeah, big time. 16:57.540 --> 17:01.060 More than other sports put together, I would say. I agree. Now, I think some 17:01.560 --> 17:04.380 of that is that Smith himself loves hockey, has always loved hockey. We had— we 17:04.880 --> 17:07.940 watched Strange Brew, which is like not everybody doing this podcast would've done Strange Brew 17:08.440 --> 17:11.100 in the first like 50 episodes, but we went there, right? And then there's a 17:11.600 --> 17:13.640 handful of others. I mean, you know, Happy Gilmore, you gotta do, right? But it's 17:14.140 --> 17:17.180 like— The swingers scene. Yeah, it's just so funny, right, how often it came up 17:17.680 --> 17:21.310 in the '90s in particular, like hockey, had a renaissance, 17:21.810 --> 17:24.130 I guess. I think it's Gretzky. I think everybody loved Gretzky. And because you get 17:24.630 --> 17:28.010 a superstar that, that's that much better, yeah, that you just— it doesn't matter what 17:28.510 --> 17:31.650 team you root for, you can't not appreciate that guy, right? Well, and when he 17:32.150 --> 17:34.390 moved from Edmonton— like, just set an aside— when he moved from Edmonton to Los 17:34.890 --> 17:38.090 Angeles, it brought like the height of hockey to America. Yeah, it wasn't just a 17:38.590 --> 17:41.250 Canadian team that had, you know, this amazing player, but now he was playing in 17:41.750 --> 17:44.430 LA, one of the biggest media markets in, in the States. And, you know, 17:44.930 --> 17:47.510 at the same time, there were other great players like Mario Lemieux and Mark Messier 17:48.010 --> 17:50.626 playing around the league. So it was a time when If you didn't get into 17:50.658 --> 17:53.080 hockey before that, it was a pretty good time to start watching hockey. So it 17:53.580 --> 17:56.175 does feel like there's just a lot of that in the air. Totally, totally. 17:56.672 --> 18:00.071 And it is funny that Brody's game that he's playing, he's winning like 12 18:00.571 --> 18:03.551 to 2, but he's still acting like, don't mess me up, you know? Well, 18:03.567 --> 18:06.470 he says the Hartford Whale never win. 18:07.592 --> 18:11.024 So yeah, so then— oh, he does. Sorry, in his room, because we 18:11.524 --> 18:14.937 got to appreciate room swag, he has like a neon light of the old Comedy 18:14.969 --> 18:18.560 Central logo, which is Dude, I would love that so much 18:19.060 --> 18:22.080 in my room. That's a perfect, like, kind of office, den, man cave, whatever you 18:22.580 --> 18:25.700 wanna call it kind of thing. Fantastic. And it's covered. There's comic book stuff all 18:26.200 --> 18:29.240 over the place. It's also got, we should mention, that wonderful, like, '60s, '70s, 18:29.740 --> 18:32.420 '80s wood paneling all over every wall. Oh, for sure, yeah. Gotta go with that. 18:32.800 --> 18:36.400 So, yeah, so she leaves, and then T.S. shows up, having come straight from 18:36.900 --> 18:40.500 Brandy's house, being dumped, basically. And, you know, they go 18:41.000 --> 18:44.260 in and hang out together, and Brody has already framed the 18:44.760 --> 18:48.220 dump letter from Renee. And, you know, T.S. reads it, and he's like, And he 18:48.720 --> 18:50.380 says, oh, how she called you Callow. And he goes, oh, that was the one 18:50.880 --> 18:52.620 part I thought that was like, I thought that was like complimentary. He goes, 18:53.120 --> 18:55.600 it means like weak-willed or something like that. He's like, oh damn. Which is just 18:56.100 --> 18:58.260 kind of a funny thing. But so Brody's like, hey, let's go to the mall. 18:58.760 --> 19:00.360 Like, this is, that's where you get cheered up. You go to the mall. 19:00.860 --> 19:03.120 And T.S. is like, fuck that. I'd rather commit suicide than go to the mall. 19:03.620 --> 19:06.740 Which is like a little extreme for 1995 for like an early 19:07.240 --> 19:09.380 20-something. He's like, come on, you're not that depressed. It's like, buddy, you didn't know 19:09.880 --> 19:13.060 how bad the mall would get. Our mall has the DMV in it. 19:13.560 --> 19:17.060 It's true. That's a kill yourself mall. And only one department store. 19:17.140 --> 19:20.181 Anyway. So we get to the mall, and we get to the mall in about 19:20.681 --> 19:22.799 the 12th minute. And this is where Aldis mentioned too, in the original cut it 19:22.831 --> 19:25.610 was the 29th minute. I took a look before they even arrive at the mall, 19:25.803 --> 19:29.706 and I think that that was a good studio note for Smith. Yeah. You have 19:29.722 --> 19:33.191 written a movie where you're calling it Mallrats and like 80% of 19:33.691 --> 19:36.082 it takes place in the mall, and we don't get there until half an hour 19:36.582 --> 19:38.974 in. Like, you can't do that to people. And I think that's legit correct, 19:38.990 --> 19:42.154 and I think that the theatrical cut is a vast improvement over the extended. 19:42.668 --> 19:46.218 Um, but yeah, so they're there They show up and they're constructing, constructing a 19:46.718 --> 19:49.800 stage in the middle of the mall. And Brody in particular is like, I'm here 19:50.300 --> 19:53.350 all the time, how did I not know this was happening? Yeah. So they go 19:53.850 --> 19:57.253 over and they talk to Willem, played by Ethan Suplee, and Willem is looking 19:57.753 --> 20:01.237 at one of those Magic Eye posters. Classic, those were everywhere, especially this 20:01.737 --> 20:05.381 time. I mean, every, every Christmas, if you're with like aunts and 20:05.881 --> 20:08.497 uncles, you're with people who get those kind of like, I don't really love you 20:08.513 --> 20:11.485 presents for each other. So you get like a Magic Eye book or something like 20:11.985 --> 20:15.000 that. a calendar. Dude, that shit was the best. Yeah. And it's so cool. 20:15.130 --> 20:18.850 I mean, I can definitely relate to the people, like the frustration of 20:19.350 --> 20:21.240 not being able to see it and stuff. Right. Were you good at those? 20:21.390 --> 20:24.790 Like, could you do those easily or no? Not— I, I was very 20:25.290 --> 20:27.789 middling at them. Yeah. How about you? Could you get those? Very easily. Okay. 20:28.289 --> 20:30.410 And so I did this one too. So I paused it. Oh, I didn't even 20:30.910 --> 20:32.710 think to do that. Yeah. I paused it and I, and I relaxed my eyes 20:33.210 --> 20:35.690 the whole thing. And it is a Magic Eye poster, but it's just like geometric 20:36.190 --> 20:39.110 shapes. It's like a couple of like, like cones and pyramids and some squares. 20:39.170 --> 20:42.010 Like there's all these kinds of, they kind of, they all come out at you, 20:42.510 --> 20:44.330 so it's like they're looking up at you, but there's no schooner, there's no sailboat, 20:45.010 --> 20:48.870 etc. So yeah, but those are fun. Yeah, so he's, he's standing there 20:49.370 --> 20:52.890 trying to, trying to see the magic guy thing. We see Ben 20:53.390 --> 20:57.110 Affleck, who's working at like a menswear store. He's wearing a fucking giant suit. 20:57.610 --> 21:01.410 He looks like the singer of a Talking Heads cover band. It's ridiculous. 21:01.910 --> 21:07.490 And I love the like short-sleeve shirt under the jacket. It's like everything he— 21:07.990 --> 21:11.090 I mean, I think Ben Affleck's a great actor. He has a ton of range 21:11.590 --> 21:15.262 and stuff. Yeah, him playing this kind of bully shithead guy is so funny. 21:15.390 --> 21:18.676 It's great. It's like so good in Dazed and Confused. Yeah, O'Banion. And then this, 21:18.708 --> 21:21.866 it's like, it's— he really leans into this kind of role. He really does. 21:21.979 --> 21:25.650 Yeah. Um, yeah, so the game show's happening in the mall, 21:25.810 --> 21:29.192 right? Um, we see, uh, Jay and Silent Bob for the 21:29.692 --> 21:33.088 first time here. And, uh, a pet store, inside a pet store. Yeah, 21:33.104 --> 21:36.422 they're standing up from the pet store and Silent Bob is trying to like Jedi 21:36.922 --> 21:39.940 mind trick the cigarette to like come up out of his hand into his Yeah, 21:40.440 --> 21:42.460 mouth or just lift it up anyway. He thinks he can use the Force. 21:42.580 --> 21:45.940 Yeah, Jay says that he just saw Return of the Jedi. 21:46.440 --> 21:48.700 Empire. He would just watch that. I think it's just not like for the first 21:49.200 --> 21:51.100 time. He just meant like dude watched Empire last night and is trying to do 21:51.600 --> 21:54.900 this. Oh yeah, because I was like, you fucking losers hang outside of 21:55.400 --> 21:58.800 a video store all day and you haven't seen like the most popular movie 21:59.300 --> 22:02.070 of the past 3 years? Because that movie was 15 years old at that point, 22:02.570 --> 22:05.060 so I think it threw me off a little bit. That's fair. Um, okay, 22:05.560 --> 22:08.340 so he's all excited. He's trying to get the Jedi mind trick thing. Exactly. 22:08.840 --> 22:09.500 Yes, exactly. He's trying— he's trying to do what Yoda taught Luke to do, 22:10.000 --> 22:13.516 right? Uh, and Jay's pissed off about it. And, uh, 22:13.756 --> 22:18.020 basically they say, hey, uh, Brody and T.S. say, hey, we need this stage taken 22:18.068 --> 22:21.771 care of. Uh, we don't want this game show to happen today. What do you 22:22.271 --> 22:24.079 think about you guys, you know, wrecking it? And Jay's kind of like, well, 22:24.095 --> 22:26.243 we were gonna do that anyway. Why? What else are we gonna do? Like, 22:26.323 --> 22:29.833 this is kind of their thing. But they warn them and they say, but you 22:29.849 --> 22:34.081 gotta watch out for LaFours. Who's LaFours? Well, LaFours apparently is the most feared 22:34.097 --> 22:37.752 mall security guard in the world. Like 400-something callers, 22:37.944 --> 22:41.330 all of them convicted. Jay think Jay heard he even has two kills. This is 22:41.830 --> 22:44.670 like the most intimidating. And to be fair, it's a big dude. It's a big 22:45.170 --> 22:49.050 dude. He's not that intimidating looking, but well, he's wearing fucking Lyle Lanley's hat, 22:49.550 --> 22:53.430 the monorail salesman from The Simpsons. Like, it's a crazy decision. 22:53.930 --> 22:57.230 It's funny visually because he is this big looking kind of almost like you know 22:57.730 --> 23:01.870 French or European like tan looking dude, and then has the silliest like election 23:02.370 --> 23:05.830 1924 hat on. It looks like a hat they would have given out for Brewster's 23:06.330 --> 23:08.850 election to New York City mayor. Like totally what it looks like. Ah, Calvin Coolidge 23:09.350 --> 23:12.910 did it again. He has got. You gotta be on 23:13.410 --> 23:17.410 a whistle-stop tour in order to, like, wear one of those suits. But basically 23:17.910 --> 23:19.590 Brody is like, well, I didn't realize you guys would be scared. They're like, 23:20.090 --> 23:21.950 nah, man, we'll fuck it up. And there's a funny point where Jay is sort 23:22.450 --> 23:25.650 of doing this like, snickety, snickety, snickety, snickety. And Brody has to 23:26.150 --> 23:29.490 explain to T.S., what Jay's doing is imitating Wolverine's 23:29.990 --> 23:33.130 berserker attack with his adamantium claw. Like, he says it so seriously because it's so 23:33.630 --> 23:35.590 important to him to get it right. And T.S. is like, bro, I don't give 23:36.090 --> 23:39.982 a fuck. Like, he does not care about comics the way Brody does. Oh man, 23:40.399 --> 23:43.764 let's see. So, uh, Brody and, uh, and TS 23:44.264 --> 23:47.354 are in this argument about Superman. Superman. Part we're at. Yeah, exactly. 23:47.626 --> 23:51.136 And the kind of conversation about like, well, you know, if Superman really is like 23:51.636 --> 23:54.805 as powerful as he is, he can't impregnate Lois Lane because he has, he has 23:54.917 --> 23:58.619 Superman semen. Yeah, that's just gonna blast right through someone like a bullet, 23:58.667 --> 24:02.850 right? It's not gonna— it's not a normal— I mean, I understand where 24:03.350 --> 24:06.440 they're coming from, I guess. I love this conversation. But this is a very 24:06.940 --> 24:10.200 detailed conversation, yeah, about— and what was the 24:10.700 --> 24:14.060 possible, like, solution to this, right? Right, so Brody says— this is my favorite line 24:14.560 --> 24:17.240 in this whole sequence— is he says he would blow his load like a shotgun 24:17.740 --> 24:21.320 right through her back. It's so visceral and descriptive. I really appreciate it. 24:21.820 --> 24:25.060 Very Ricky O-coded. Right, yes, exactly. Oh, there's another movie we 24:25.560 --> 24:28.080 gotta do at some point. Oh my God, Ricky O. Okay, but yeah, but he 24:28.580 --> 24:31.540 basically says, like, you know, maybe he could impregnate Wonder Woman, right? 'Cause she herself 24:32.040 --> 24:34.080 is, like, an alien, and, like— or maybe whatever, she's an Amazon. She's supposed to 24:34.580 --> 24:38.140 be magical the way Superman is. But like a regular chick, 24:38.640 --> 24:41.480 you know, no way, unless he wore a Kryptonite condom, but that would kill him. 24:42.240 --> 24:44.790 Which I think is funny. And if— oh yeah, there's the other thing too. 24:44.860 --> 24:48.150 If Lois did get pregnant with Superman's baby and then she got a tan, 24:48.400 --> 24:51.360 the kid would kick right through her stomach because the Earth's yellow sun, 24:51.460 --> 24:54.270 right, makes you weaker. Makes you weaker. Or whatever. It's just like very funny. 24:55.140 --> 24:57.820 But yeah, and then while they're sitting there talking, they're also arguing about the food 24:58.320 --> 25:00.790 court, which I think this is a legit argument that Tia says dead wrong. 25:01.080 --> 25:04.579 Like they've got cookies, right, from the cookie stand. And T.S. 25:04.627 --> 25:07.047 says something about like, you know, why— who thought I'd be here? And, you know, 25:07.063 --> 25:10.957 instead of having hot Floridian sex with Brandy, I'm here talking about superhero, 25:10.973 --> 25:14.194 like, emissions or whatever, you know, copulation with you at the food court. 25:14.658 --> 25:17.142 And Brody is very indignant. He goes, this is not the food court. Well, 25:17.190 --> 25:20.026 yeah, it's an eatery. The eatery's part of the food court. Brody says, no, 25:20.042 --> 25:23.552 no, no. Eateries within the designated square downstairs are the food court. Anything else 25:24.052 --> 25:28.151 is considered an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking. It's like, there's something about Brody's 25:28.679 --> 25:32.338 conviction and, like, Dedication to his seriousness 25:32.435 --> 25:36.017 about the mall. Yeah, that I find endearing. Like I really enjoy. 25:36.145 --> 25:39.502 Like at one point he said T.S. says something about like Brandy getting auctioned 25:40.002 --> 25:42.907 off at a mall, and and Brody's like da da da the mall. Like be 25:43.051 --> 25:46.681 be you know be respectful. Put some respect on the mall's name. Which is 25:47.181 --> 25:49.155 like it's silly, but I love that that character aspect. 25:50.584 --> 25:54.439 So so Jay and Silent Bob have various schemes, right? They're trying to they're 25:54.939 --> 25:58.309 trying to knock out this security guy. as part of their thing and to destroy 25:58.809 --> 26:01.600 the stage, right? So I think— and they— I don't know if they have the 26:01.665 --> 26:05.229 blueprint, like Home Alone-style plan drawn out, or it's like animated, 26:05.277 --> 26:07.669 right? No, no, well, they drew on it and stuff, but yeah, he said something 26:07.701 --> 26:10.752 like they got a blueprint from some, some stupid-ass carpenter who 26:11.252 --> 26:13.385 like left it around, and there's a pin. It's got a— it's got a weakness 26:13.885 --> 26:16.307 like the Death Star. Yeah, yeah, there's just like one pin that's near the top. 26:16.371 --> 26:18.940 If they can pull that, the whole thing just comes crashing down, which is like, 26:19.277 --> 26:23.323 again, how silly, right? So they've got this idea of Jay smacking 26:23.756 --> 26:27.240 LaFours in the head and then— With the sock full of quarters. Bob doing 26:27.272 --> 26:29.055 that with the sock full of quarters and then Jay running up and hitting the 26:29.555 --> 26:32.635 pin, right? That's the idea. Um, but before they can try this, a kid with 26:32.667 --> 26:35.525 a wood toy truck comes up to Silent Bob, and Silent Bob kind of gives 26:36.025 --> 26:37.917 him like a— shows him his backhand like, ah, get out of here, kid. 26:37.965 --> 26:40.903 And the kid like runs away, but now the kid's mad. So as Bob is 26:41.016 --> 26:44.837 running, swinging wildly this roll of this sock full of quarters ready to hit LaFours, 26:45.255 --> 26:48.369 the kid like rolls the toy truck towards him. Bob's foot goes on 26:48.466 --> 26:51.307 it. He flies right past LaFours. I think funnily enough, 26:51.692 --> 26:54.739 handing LaFours the sock full of quarters. He now has the quarters. Good for him. 26:55.060 --> 26:57.914 Looked like about $20 worth of quarters. I was surprised they had that much in 26:57.946 --> 27:00.881 quarters, honestly. That's like the most impressive part. But you can see that Jay is 27:01.074 --> 27:03.559 emptying out those little rolls you get from the bank, so it's clear that they 27:04.059 --> 27:06.975 just like made change from one of the like stores or something, right? Um, 27:07.151 --> 27:10.311 but then, and then, and then Jay busts through, uh, he gets, he gets kind 27:10.811 --> 27:14.304 of thrown through the wall of one of the stores, uh, or through a 27:14.804 --> 27:17.495 door or something, and into a changing room where Joey Lauren Adams' character is like 27:17.995 --> 27:20.863 changing. That's right. Whatever. And that happens a couple times. Yeah, 27:20.943 --> 27:24.599 yeah. So Silent Bob's head busts through the, uh, the middle of the fitting room. 27:25.353 --> 27:28.897 Um, and okay, so now we've got, uh, TS and Brody 27:29.397 --> 27:33.917 are talking to Tricia Jones, right? This is the part that holds up the least 27:33.933 --> 27:37.221 in this movie. So she is a— she is a sex author 27:37.237 --> 27:40.845 who writes about the sex that she has with different people at age 15. 27:40.925 --> 27:44.720 Yes, she is. And, uh, and they aren't really too 27:45.220 --> 27:48.160 concerned about that yet. Well— They're just kind of like, oh, good for you. 27:48.660 --> 27:50.860 Like, what are you writing about? T.S. is like, holy shit, this is shocking. 27:51.360 --> 27:53.780 Like, he really is kind of like, really? This is like, are your parents like, 27:54.280 --> 27:56.340 what? How is this possible? Yeah. Brody's a little more flippant about it. It's like, 27:56.840 --> 27:59.940 yeah, she'll be the youngest author. It's an interesting story kind of thing. But yeah, 28:00.440 --> 28:02.360 she basically is like writing a book about the sex drive of men, and I 28:02.860 --> 28:06.280 quote, ages 14 to 30, which again, it's just like, I don't, I don't 28:06.780 --> 28:08.440 want to, I don't want this to be part of the movie anymore, but here 28:08.940 --> 28:12.420 it is. They should just dub over her being like, my name is Tricia 28:12.920 --> 28:16.177 Jones. I am 18. Except that it's like a major, It's an important 28:16.677 --> 28:19.434 plot point in the climax, so unfortunately it is built in. Now, to be fair, 28:19.723 --> 28:23.108 there is comeuppance in some way built around the idea of 28:23.608 --> 28:25.995 a 15-year-old having sex with adults, so— Sure, yeah. But it's not great. 28:26.878 --> 28:29.589 So we'll kind of skip past it. She shows them like her little notes she's 28:30.089 --> 28:32.172 taking or whatever, and it's all that. And then they find— oh, they do find 28:32.672 --> 28:36.776 an important fact here, which is that the night previously she had been with Shannon 28:36.792 --> 28:40.498 Hamilton, Ben Affleck's character, the proprietor of 28:40.998 --> 28:44.790 Fashionable Male. Though they refer to him as proprietor and manager in 28:45.290 --> 28:47.870 different, you know, which is like, to be a proprietor of a mall store is 28:48.370 --> 28:51.290 like pretty— Yeah, I don't think— Why would you be there? Right, right. Anyway, 28:51.790 --> 28:54.310 point being, they find out that Shannon, who is like 24— He's Shannon Stormer from 28:54.810 --> 28:57.990 Men's Warehouse. Exactly, he's like 24, 25, had sex with Tricia, who's 15, 28:58.490 --> 29:02.110 and they now know that. It's an important piece of information. But she tells 29:02.610 --> 29:05.550 Brody, good luck at the comic shop, and he's like, what's that all about? 29:06.050 --> 29:08.190 And so they go looking 'cause he wants to go get his comics, and there's 29:08.690 --> 29:11.570 a huge line at the comic book store in the mall, and Brody's like, 29:12.070 --> 29:12.210 what the hell is going on? Why is there a line? All this stuff. 29:14.243 --> 29:16.713 And he starts like attacking, you know, he kind of, he comes up yelling at 29:17.213 --> 29:21.365 these 2 guys, Walt and Steve Dave. And they basically are like, 29:21.702 --> 29:24.285 you know, hey, we were told about you. Like, I'm gonna call security, whatever. 29:24.654 --> 29:26.996 And he's like, you know, fuck you, man. Just 'cause a guy likes comics, 29:27.012 --> 29:30.140 I won't fuck you up. Like, they're starting a fight basically. The guy whose apparently 29:30.640 --> 29:34.295 name is Steve Dave, which is a great name, I guess, blows a whistle and 29:34.375 --> 29:38.225 the mall cop was standing right next to them already 'cause he just reaches over 29:38.725 --> 29:41.995 for Brody as soon as the whistle gets blown. But basically they shake it out 29:42.495 --> 29:45.779 of another customer. Like, what's going on? Stan Lee is here. Signing comics, 29:45.828 --> 29:49.337 which is a huge deal. Like the idea that Brody wouldn't know about this does 29:49.369 --> 29:52.461 seem a little odd. It's one thing to not know about the like stage and 29:52.477 --> 29:55.313 like maybe there was like a thing where the but like at his comic store 29:55.362 --> 29:58.182 they would have been advertising that. Yeah, that he's coming. Yeah, yeah. You know what 29:58.682 --> 30:01.547 I mean? So that's a little you know strange credulity. But then again, who gives 30:02.047 --> 30:05.440 a shit? It's just it's a silly movie. But yeah, so that now now Brody 30:05.889 --> 30:09.302 is upset that he let this fact slip by him. He didn't know Stanley was 30:09.318 --> 30:11.609 coming. Now he knows he's there, but he's like super upset because he's not. 30:12.443 --> 30:16.063 In line to get the autograph. I don't know, whatever. He's pissed. Yeah. So, 30:16.352 --> 30:20.213 um, yeah, so he's, he's gotta find a way in there. Uh, we're back 30:20.713 --> 30:23.850 to Jay and Silent Bob now who are doing their next attempt to foil 30:23.994 --> 30:27.583 the, uh, security guard. Yep. And this one is Silent 30:28.083 --> 30:31.316 Bob is like hooked to some kind of cables. Yep. Yeah. And he's swinging, 30:31.364 --> 30:34.680 supposed to like swing in and like grab the pin and grab the pin, 30:34.776 --> 30:37.996 right? Exactly. Uh, but instead it's off by a little 30:38.496 --> 30:41.409 bit, right? So he swings and he just knocks the hat off the security guard 30:41.909 --> 30:45.132 barely. does not get the pin. Yeah, exactly. But flies through 30:45.632 --> 30:49.001 another wall, right back into a changing room where Joey Lauren Adams' character is yet 30:49.501 --> 30:53.095 again— Gwen, I think is her name— is yet again changing her clothes. 30:53.159 --> 30:56.113 And now he's busted in on her twice. And so she's like, what the fuck? 30:56.209 --> 31:00.174 Like, you know, which is kind of funny. But yeah, and then, 31:00.383 --> 31:03.738 so then the next sequence is we see we're 31:04.238 --> 31:06.467 at the food court, the actual food court that they were arguing about, and Jay 31:06.967 --> 31:08.939 and Salvo are like running through and they kind of hide behind T.S. and Brody. 31:09.020 --> 31:12.480 And then LaFors runs by, so they're safe for the moment. 31:12.980 --> 31:16.280 And there's this funny moment here. I remember in the DVD commentary that Kevin Smith 31:16.780 --> 31:19.060 mentioned this was the most interesting edit he'd ever seen on any of his movies. 31:19.340 --> 31:22.460 In this scene where T.S. and Brodie are sitting at this table, there is a 31:22.960 --> 31:26.340 cup on the table in front of T.S. that's like a Coca-Cola, you know, 31:26.840 --> 31:30.140 fountain cup, right? Yeah. So apparently, I can't remember which network it was. I'm gonna 31:30.640 --> 31:32.920 say ABC, but I might— it's one of the major networks, right? But when the 31:33.420 --> 31:36.380 edit was done, and this is done outside the authority of the director, 31:36.880 --> 31:39.060 when an edit is done for television, right? So they're cutting all kinds of content. 31:39.560 --> 31:42.138 They're doing it for time. They're doing it for cost. content, you know, restrictions or 31:42.638 --> 31:46.322 whatever, they recropped this scene so that you could see 31:46.822 --> 31:49.977 Jason Lee and Jeremy London, but you could not see that cup because 31:50.153 --> 31:53.038 ABC had some kind of partnership deal with Pepsi. Oh, 31:53.134 --> 31:56.324 funny. And they didn't want the Coke cup to be part of the 31:56.824 --> 31:59.386 scene. He's like, that's like the dumbest reason I've ever seen anything edited for any 31:59.886 --> 32:02.432 of my movies. And this is a guy who lives on strictly dick and fart 32:02.932 --> 32:05.093 jokes. So his, you know, the edits of his movies are like extreme. Yeah, 32:05.125 --> 32:07.417 yeah. Right, they're constantly cutting stuff out. And he's like, why did they have to 32:07.481 --> 32:11.008 crop out the Coke cup? That's ridiculous. Once you learn though about like 32:11.508 --> 32:14.619 product placement and all this stuff in movies, it does ruin movies to a degree 32:15.119 --> 32:18.217 for you because you're thinking about like, oh, every can is turned backwards except for 32:18.717 --> 32:21.735 that one can. This movie must be sponsored by Mountain Dew Code Red. 32:22.233 --> 32:25.687 You know, it's, uh, that's, that's a funny, uh, edit there. But yeah, 32:25.719 --> 32:29.189 it's pretty, pretty wild. So, uh, yeah. And while they're there, they see, 32:29.301 --> 32:32.418 uh, Shannon and Renee, Brody's now ex-girlfriend, 32:33.028 --> 32:36.707 standing there. It's confusing that Shannon is Ben Affleck and Shannen Doherty is the— 32:37.108 --> 32:39.791 There's a, there's a couple of things. There's, there's another one too. There's, oh, 32:39.984 --> 32:44.390 there's, uh, There's Renee, is Shannon 32:44.890 --> 32:47.970 Doherty's character's name, and then there's another person in this cast 32:48.470 --> 32:50.470 named Renee, and now I can't remember who it is. But it's like, yeah, 32:50.970 --> 32:53.270 there's several. I think the woman who— the woman who plays Tricia Jones, like, 32:53.770 --> 32:56.630 her real name is Renee. Oh, okay. Several places where there's like, for whatever reason, 32:57.130 --> 33:00.970 the character names are like matching. Must have been crazy, right? Yeah. Shannon, do this. 33:01.030 --> 33:04.430 What? Brenda? Yeah. So she's with— she's with 33:04.930 --> 33:07.730 Affleck, who's like— that's a worst-case scenario. I mean, you get broken up with and 33:08.230 --> 33:11.543 then And she's with like the most irritating, like repellent person 33:12.043 --> 33:15.475 you can think of. Who hates Brody. Like, this guy has mentioned like, I hate 33:15.975 --> 33:18.347 people with like no shopping agenda. You come here and hang out at the mall, 33:18.363 --> 33:21.445 you fucking mall rat. Like, you know, all that kind of stuff. So he hates 33:21.573 --> 33:24.831 that. Um, so, uh, Brody decides 33:24.847 --> 33:28.795 he needs to confront Renee about this. So Renee and Shannon are standing at 33:29.295 --> 33:32.583 the, uh, elevator doors, you know, they're like on his lunch break, like whatever, 33:32.647 --> 33:35.920 hanging out. And so So, TS goes up because 33:36.420 --> 33:39.340 Shannon doesn't know TS. So TS goes up to Shannon, he's like, oh, hey, 33:39.840 --> 33:42.020 uh, you're that professional male, I really like that, whatever. He goes, yeah, could you 33:42.520 --> 33:44.500 leave me alone? I'm with like my lady friend here for lunch, just get out 33:45.000 --> 33:47.000 of here, you know? And he's like, oh, is that your girlfriend? Oh, she's hot, 33:47.500 --> 33:50.279 whatever. And like Shannon turns to TS and is like yelling at him now. 33:50.299 --> 33:53.540 As the elevator doors open, Brody runs, like grabs Renee, and they both go into 33:54.040 --> 33:57.480 the elevator before Shannon can realize it. Yeah. Now in the elevator, you know, 33:57.980 --> 34:00.400 they're just arguing about why are you with this guy? He's ridiculous. He's like, 34:00.900 --> 34:03.040 he's a walking hard-on. And she's kind of like, I could use that after like 34:03.646 --> 34:07.140 your shitty, like, libido and terrible sex skills or whatever. 34:07.508 --> 34:10.585 So to prove himself worthy, they have sex right there in the elevator. 34:11.017 --> 34:13.773 Uh, and after it's done, she tells him it was too little, too late. 34:13.821 --> 34:16.818 And he goes, too little? You said it was a good size. Yeah. It's like, 34:16.866 --> 34:20.023 the effort, you idiot. She used the R-slur, which I won't repeat. But yeah. 34:20.471 --> 34:23.868 Uh, yeah. Anyway, so that, that's their moment 34:24.368 --> 34:27.394 of reconnection, Brody thinks. And Renee is still like, no, you idiot. Like, good try. 34:27.938 --> 34:31.171 That was fun, but fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and then 34:31.219 --> 34:35.135 she's right back with, with Affleck after that. Absolutely. Smooth drop-off 34:35.265 --> 34:38.258 there. Yeah. Um, let's see. 34:38.436 --> 34:41.811 So, uh, so Brandy's dad— are we at this part now where TS 34:42.311 --> 34:44.902 goes to kind of confront— Yeah, there's a brief, there's a brief moment where Gwen, 34:45.176 --> 34:48.718 Joey Lauren Adams' character, shows up and, uh, TS doesn't— she, she like 34:48.734 --> 34:51.737 reaches onto TS's shoulder. He doesn't know that, that, you know, he's surprised. He ends 34:52.237 --> 34:54.294 up elbowing her in the tit. She punches him in the balls. Like, whatever, 34:54.311 --> 34:57.338 it's this whole thing. But it's like that she's the one who says that that 34:57.563 --> 35:01.259 Brandy and her dad were there at the stage. Uh, and so, 35:01.564 --> 35:04.858 uh, TS is gonna go talk to Mr. Svenning, uh, 35:04.955 --> 35:07.927 at the stage. So yeah, uh, but before he can, there's this, uh, 35:07.943 --> 35:11.655 stagehand also played by Walt Flanagan, who was the, the fan 35:11.784 --> 35:14.033 in front of the comic shop who said, get him, Steve Dave, the guy, 35:14.258 --> 35:17.761 you know. Okay. That's Walt Flanagan, Kevin Smith's friend. He plays 2 roles. He's also 35:17.809 --> 35:21.280 this stagehand who like moves the podium and like ends up getting fired. 35:21.328 --> 35:24.660 It's like a whole thing. It's sort of establishing Like okay, Svenning played by Michael 35:25.160 --> 35:27.540 Rooker. He's an asshole. Like let's not you know what I mean? Like right. 35:28.040 --> 35:31.199 Don't like this guy. Actually, real quick, there's a funny thing too about they wanted 35:31.699 --> 35:35.060 William Atherton for that role, right? Okay. Would have been good as well. 35:35.560 --> 35:38.480 Yeah, yeah. And Atherton through his agent would have responded like I'm not gonna do 35:38.980 --> 35:41.540 like a silly movie like this. Like I do serious movies. And they were kind 35:42.040 --> 35:43.600 of yes, that's why we want you. You know, it's like it's meant to be 35:44.100 --> 35:46.440 a juxtaposition. He's like no, I'm not gonna do it. What did Atherton do the 35:46.940 --> 35:49.240 next movie he did after he turned down Mallrats? Biodome. 35:49.660 --> 35:53.150 Oh, that's so fucking funny. Like, bro, you would have been better off in 35:53.650 --> 35:56.070 Mallrats than in Bio-Dome. But Rooker's great. I like Rooker. 35:56.250 --> 35:59.410 Um, he, he's one of the best, 35:59.910 --> 36:03.590 like, immediate assholes in film. Like, he has a face 36:04.090 --> 36:07.610 and just a demeanor where you're like, that's a fucking bad dude. I'm like, 36:08.110 --> 36:11.270 I hate this guy. Yeah. Um, so yeah, it's a good shortcut to like, 36:11.770 --> 36:13.990 we don't need a lot of exposition about this guy. Let's just show his fucking 36:14.490 --> 36:16.930 face and you know that that's the guy we're rooting against. Yeah. And another, 36:17.430 --> 36:21.011 and another example, frankly, of somebody who doesn't stumble over Smith's dialogue Very 36:21.107 --> 36:24.153 much. He's a real actor. Yeah, he really, really kind of crushes it. So, 36:24.409 --> 36:26.590 so there is— which I guess my point being is there is an element of 36:26.894 --> 36:30.245 Smith's dialogue that like requires the actor to be of a certain 36:30.745 --> 36:34.076 caliber. And in Clerks and in half of this movie, he just didn't have actors 36:34.573 --> 36:37.555 that could do that, you know what I mean? There's that. So, um, but anyway, 36:37.571 --> 36:41.002 so now basically, uh, let's see, 36:41.498 --> 36:45.121 Svenning is talking to TS just about like, you'll never be 36:45.170 --> 36:48.296 with my daughter. Ever again. Like, whatever, she's too good for 36:48.796 --> 36:51.742 you, right? Like, get out of here, basically. So, um, 36:51.983 --> 36:55.269 so, uh, so I think Affleck, uh, 36:55.814 --> 36:59.165 Shannon gets word that Brody— or does he know that Brody 36:59.181 --> 37:02.259 had slept with the girl in the elevator? He just wants to beat him up 37:02.307 --> 37:05.722 anyway for being annoying. It's, it's that— it's more just the, the— he's there, 37:05.914 --> 37:09.665 he's irritating. He knows it was, it was something like when they left the elevator, 37:10.162 --> 37:13.770 Shannon saw Brody run out But Renee stopped him 37:14.270 --> 37:17.070 from, like— and he doesn't know that they fucked, but she's just like, he had 37:17.570 --> 37:18.990 to give me something he forgot to give me a while ago, or whatever, 37:19.490 --> 37:21.930 right? It's over. But he knows that he was there, and he's, like, interacting with 37:22.430 --> 37:25.510 her still. And so, uh, there's, yeah, this point where he, like, 37:26.010 --> 37:28.770 corners him, like, at the candy shop, or whatever, grabs him or something like that, 37:29.270 --> 37:32.200 and, like, takes him into, like, one of those hallways. It's like the T2 hallway. 37:32.230 --> 37:35.310 I love a back mall hallway. It just makes me think of T2. Did you 37:35.810 --> 37:37.570 ever work at a mall? Like a big mall? I never worked at the mall, 37:38.070 --> 37:40.090 no. I worked at Stone Ridge for a couple years. Oh, nice. One of the 37:40.590 --> 37:41.970 stores there. And so, like, that was, like, how we went to take our breaks, 37:42.470 --> 37:45.310 was, like, through stores. or like that, or if you had to take the trash 37:45.810 --> 37:48.250 out the back of your— you didn't want to walk with trash, like, through where 37:48.750 --> 37:51.550 all the customers are. So that's those little back alley hallways. It's where the unclean 37:52.050 --> 37:55.430 stuff happens. Yeah, it's all the nasty shit behind the scenes. But basically, 37:55.930 --> 37:58.890 like, he beats his ass. Shannon beats Brody's ass, punches him a few times. 37:59.390 --> 38:02.110 There's a couple of brutal hits in here. Good on Affleck and Lee. It's a 38:02.610 --> 38:06.310 really well-done sort of, like, physical altercation. And this is when Shannon 38:06.810 --> 38:10.230 admits to Brody that he's not only gonna have sex with his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend 38:10.730 --> 38:12.890 or whatever, but he's gonna do it in a very uncomfortable place. And Brody says, 38:13.390 --> 38:16.150 what, like the back of a Volkswagen? No, like in a place that girls to, 38:16.650 --> 38:19.170 like, have sex in, kind of, you know, an orifice or whatever. And so he's 38:19.670 --> 38:21.930 like, he's gonna fuck her in the ass, basically. Um, but this— what, like the 38:22.430 --> 38:25.330 back of a Volkswagen shows up, like, numerous times as, like, a callback. 38:25.830 --> 38:29.630 Um, it also— this, this cut ends— the scene ends on, like, on a 38:30.130 --> 38:33.430 connection of, of, of Shannon punching Brody in the face that is kind 38:33.930 --> 38:36.430 of brutal, you know? It's like, to cut away on that, it's like, oh my 38:36.930 --> 38:39.630 God, it's very jarring. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, Brody gets his ass beat. 38:39.670 --> 38:43.130 And then he won't tell Jay and Silent Bob. They're like, hey, what? 38:43.630 --> 38:45.650 Who did this to you, man? We got your back. Yeah. And he, he won't 38:46.150 --> 38:49.370 tell them. He said, uh, Easter Bunny beat me up, which is interesting. 38:49.870 --> 38:52.950 I don't quite know why, right? Because they would know. Because if he was like, 38:53.450 --> 38:56.750 oh, it's Shannon from, you know, fashionable male, they'd be like, oh yeah, fuck that 38:57.250 --> 39:00.250 guy. We figured it was him. Um, yeah, 39:00.750 --> 39:03.690 I'm not sure if he's like embarrassed or if he doesn't want anybody to know 39:04.190 --> 39:05.890 that he's still interested in Renee. I think that's part of the thing is that 39:06.390 --> 39:09.910 he's putting out a face that he has no interest in Renee anymore, 39:10.170 --> 39:12.990 right? If that's to be true, then why would Shannon have a reason to punch 39:13.490 --> 39:15.830 him? I think that's what he's trying to defend his little story. Yeah, about being 39:16.330 --> 39:17.690 over his girlfriend is probably why, but it's a little weak. But he does tell— 39:18.190 --> 39:21.469 he He says something about like, oh, I told the Easter Bunny that the 39:21.969 --> 39:23.781 Easter Bunny at this other mall was like way better and he beat my ass. 39:24.118 --> 39:27.313 So then Jane saw Bob go and beat the fuck out of the Easter 39:27.813 --> 39:30.637 Bunny. Yeah, which is very funny because then the kids who are waiting for the 39:31.137 --> 39:33.800 Easter Bunny all like try to tackle Jane's son Bob to save the Easter Bunny. 39:33.848 --> 39:36.562 It's, it's kind of a funny little sequence, but yeah, they whoop his ass. 39:37.284 --> 39:40.785 Uh, let's see here. Uh, now Brody is, 39:41.042 --> 39:44.205 uh, he's describing a, uh, a technique to kind 39:44.705 --> 39:47.802 of get— yes, get revenge on somebody or to, uh, you know, yeah, 39:47.962 --> 39:51.302 make somebody's day very unpleasant without them knowing. Yeah, basically TS and Brody 39:51.334 --> 39:54.963 are hanging out for a minute and, uh, this producer assistant 39:55.027 --> 39:58.367 guy of Svenning's, played by Scott Mosier, the, the producer for most of Smith's movies, 39:58.865 --> 40:01.450 uh, shows up and is like, Mr. Svenning wants to talk to you, you know, 40:01.466 --> 40:04.083 kind of thing. And, and, you know, TS is like, fine, tell him I'll be 40:04.583 --> 40:06.668 there in a minute. And Brody's like, hey, you want to get— you want to 40:07.168 --> 40:09.462 really fuck with this guy, you stink palm him. He's like, what's that? Well, 40:09.478 --> 40:12.750 you put your hand you know, that you shake hands with, like down in 40:13.250 --> 40:15.090 between your butt cheeks. You know, you've been walking, you've been nervous all day, 40:15.590 --> 40:17.970 you're walking around all day, you're probably sweaty and gross down there. Now when you 40:18.470 --> 40:20.610 shake his hand, he's gonna have that smell on your hand, on his hand. 40:21.110 --> 40:23.870 How's he gonna explain that to his colleagues and his, you know, family and whatever? 40:24.370 --> 40:25.830 Even people think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass. And T.S. points out, 40:26.330 --> 40:29.630 yes, and you yourself now have a shit-smelling hand for just as long as your 40:30.130 --> 40:32.810 victim does, right? And he's like, well, small price to pay for the smiting of 40:33.310 --> 40:36.570 one's enemies. Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's like slowly building up an immunity to 40:37.070 --> 40:40.090 the poison over the years, right? But he's also eating chocolate-covered pretzels that have been 40:40.590 --> 40:43.275 established to be melty, right? Uh, TS picks one because, oh, these are too melty, 40:43.307 --> 40:47.241 or whatever. Um, so yeah, then when, uh— Wait, 40:47.306 --> 40:50.517 does, uh, does Brody say, uh, to TS that— or, uh, 40:50.822 --> 40:54.211 TS says to Brody that you slimed your way into her panties? Oh, that's what 40:54.711 --> 40:57.968 Svenning says to TS. So TS goes to confront Mr. Svenning. Okay. 40:58.225 --> 41:01.533 I no doubt, you know, I believe no doubt you slimed your way 41:01.597 --> 41:04.407 into her panties. I just wrote that quote down. I was like, that is fucking 41:04.907 --> 41:08.004 gross. It's so much worse that it's a dad saying that about his daughter. 41:08.101 --> 41:12.300 Good Lord. It's horrific. Intentionally so, but it certainly Um, 41:12.800 --> 41:15.240 so we get kind of a long scene where, uh, Brody goes and he shakes 41:15.740 --> 41:18.560 hands with Mr. Spanning. We're like, oh no, he touched him with the butt hand. 41:19.060 --> 41:21.860 Yeah, yeah. And then he's reaching into the pretzels and he's licking the chocolate off 41:22.360 --> 41:25.720 his fingers and everything. And it's gross. I mean, butt crack 41:26.220 --> 41:29.440 aside, like, that's fucking gross. It looks disgusting just as food. Yeah, 41:29.940 --> 41:32.800 yeah. Um, so, you know, and then, and then Mr. Spanning's like, ah, 41:33.300 --> 41:35.740 I'll have you idiots kicked out of the mall. So they get like cuffed, 41:35.940 --> 41:38.320 and there's such a— it's like a commando-level, 41:38.720 --> 41:42.585 uh, mall force here, the number of like armed officers 41:42.681 --> 41:46.465 that are able to escort them out. It's like because there's this TV show— 41:46.785 --> 41:50.457 public access, by the way— TV show filming in the mall today, there's like, 41:50.473 --> 41:53.471 you know, a Delta Force of rent-a-cops, right, 41:53.519 --> 41:56.982 that are all led by, you know, Major Dutch— I 41:57.482 --> 42:00.076 mean, LaFours, right? Like going off into the jungle. But yeah, 42:01.054 --> 42:05.158 but they get kicked out, they get booted. And, and then there's 42:05.658 --> 42:07.964 a couple references in this area to the opening. I'll just mention real quick, 42:08.028 --> 42:11.478 the TV executives talking to Svenning about Things going well, mention, if you have any 42:11.978 --> 42:13.613 trouble like you did at the governor's ball, this will be a terrible thing. 42:13.677 --> 42:15.828 Oh, okay. So that's a reference to that. But it stayed in, I think, 42:15.892 --> 42:19.537 partly, again, because they didn't want to get those actors back to redo that scene. 42:20.050 --> 42:23.518 And they— you know, it sounds like it could be further in his 42:24.018 --> 42:25.926 past. It doesn't sound like it has to be just now. But there's also a 42:26.426 --> 42:29.073 reference to when Svenning says to Brody, if it isn't my neighbor. 42:30.421 --> 42:33.696 That's not real. At one point in the cut stuff, 42:33.712 --> 42:38.320 Brody shows up to Svenning's house with TS to confront him 42:38.820 --> 42:41.470 Brandy, and there's like press there because of the governor's mansion thing or the governor's 42:41.970 --> 42:45.710 ball thing and all this stuff. And, and Brody introduces himself as Mr. Svenning's neighbor, 42:46.210 --> 42:48.930 but he's not. Like, he doesn't— it's a weird thing. Okay, it stayed in somehow. 42:49.430 --> 42:51.570 And it's like, why would those two be neighbors? Like, we saw Brody's house, 42:52.070 --> 42:54.950 it's very unassuming, and we can assume that Mr. Svenning— Yeah, they have like a 42:55.450 --> 42:58.850 fancy house. Yeah, when T.S. pulls up. So it didn't quite fit, and that's why 42:59.350 --> 43:02.730 it's a remnant. And you don't pull up the loaded station wagon one house 43:03.230 --> 43:06.410 over to pick somebody up for your vacation. Exactly. Yeah, so it's a little strange. 43:06.910 --> 43:10.350 Yeah. And then you have— right, then T.S. would have driven Yeah. From, from Brandy's. 43:10.850 --> 43:13.860 No, exactly. So, so that doesn't fit, but that's, that's a, that's a remnant. 43:13.970 --> 43:17.710 Uh, yeah, the, the pretzels are disgusting. Disgusting for sure. Jay and 43:18.210 --> 43:20.690 Silent Bob are hanging out with Willem at the Magic Eye, basically giving him shit 43:21.190 --> 43:23.010 for not being able to do it. And Renee is the one that runs up 43:23.510 --> 43:25.410 to Jay and Silent Bob and is like, hey, T.S. and Brody need your help. 43:25.910 --> 43:29.250 Yeah. Right? And then she looks and goes, oh, a schooner. And Willem 43:29.750 --> 43:33.470 turns and goes, Brenda? And she's like, dick, and like runs off, which probably 43:33.970 --> 43:36.510 not necessary, but I enjoy it. I enjoy that they gave Shannon a little ribbing 43:37.010 --> 43:40.910 there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, another, uh, 90210 alum. We've seen 43:41.410 --> 43:45.210 recently Luke Perry in The Fifth Element, Jason Priestley in Tombstone. So who does 43:45.710 --> 43:48.950 that leave? Ian Ziering, we're coming for you, man. Ian Ziering might be a little 43:49.450 --> 43:50.970 tough because he did a lot of the Sharknado stuff. He's more of a Sharknado 43:51.470 --> 43:54.990 guy. But there's gotta be a Jenny Garth. Oh, but we've had, uh, uh, 43:55.490 --> 43:57.950 what's her face as well? Tori Spelling was in Troop Beverly Hills. That's right. 43:58.450 --> 44:00.510 So we've got 4 out of, you know, 7 of the major ones. We need 44:01.010 --> 44:03.690 Brian Austin Green. That's true. Jenny Garth. 44:04.190 --> 44:07.690 Uh, we'll get Tiffany Amber Thiessen with the son-in-law at some point. You know, 44:08.190 --> 44:10.920 she's a later addition. Oh no, she is in that. You're right. She's the other 44:11.420 --> 44:14.300 girl. That's right. Oh, I forgot. Very cool. Trust me, I just watched this two 44:14.800 --> 44:18.280 days ago. So so Jay and Silent Bob. 44:18.780 --> 44:22.680 Yeah. So they're like, "All right, we gotta get our guys back." Yep. 44:23.180 --> 44:26.240 Snoochie boochies. That's the thing that Jay says a lot. It's just it's like a 44:26.740 --> 44:30.740 catchphrase. Oh boy! But he does. I do like that he brains LaFors 44:31.240 --> 44:34.780 with an aluminum baseball bat, which can do real damage. Yeah. And then he yells, 44:35.280 --> 44:38.640 "Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!" Because that's Superman 44:39.140 --> 44:42.185 two, I think, or two or three. But yeah, anyway, it's a Superman reference for 44:42.685 --> 44:45.873 sure. But basically they distract the cops enough, they chase after Jay and Silent Bob. 44:46.258 --> 44:49.465 Jay and Silent Bob, uh, this will earn this movie the 44:49.545 --> 44:53.120 asshole cops tag as well because these guys try to frame Brody and T.S. 44:53.233 --> 44:56.359 with like a bag of pot they claim they found on them. Uh, so that 44:56.859 --> 44:58.973 sucks. But basically T.S. and Brody are like, we gotta get out of here. 44:59.342 --> 45:01.586 And Brody's like, let's go to the dirt mall, we'll hide out there, nobody will 45:02.086 --> 45:04.841 come looking for us. The dirt mall is sort of like a flea market looking— 45:05.178 --> 45:08.272 Yeah, very much like, uh, one of those indoor flea market things with 45:08.305 --> 45:11.622 all these different booths set up and stuff. It's a good contrast to this real 45:12.122 --> 45:15.213 mall. Yeah. Uh, I think right before this though, did we have Jay and 45:15.713 --> 45:19.251 Silent Bob escaping the security guards? And Silent Bob has like a Batman 45:19.460 --> 45:22.168 grappling hook, and he had all this different shit, so he was going through like, 45:22.184 --> 45:26.239 what am I gonna use here? Uh, and then he ends up getting 45:26.255 --> 45:29.862 them up, and they basically hide. Yeah, up in the air. And, and Jay 45:30.362 --> 45:33.099 quotes Jack Nicholson, right? You know, where did you get these wonderful toys? Yeah, 45:33.227 --> 45:35.952 yeah. I was hoping he'd say, uh, I think you weigh a little more than 45:36.452 --> 45:40.377 108 pounds. Um, That would have been a deeper reference. I like that. 45:40.441 --> 45:44.145 You're right. So, uh, so when they're at this, the dirt 45:44.645 --> 45:47.576 mall, I mean, one of the things is that, uh, he's picking up like random 45:47.656 --> 45:51.216 merchandise from this thrift store thing and there's a Clerks hat. Yeah. Whoa. 45:51.825 --> 45:54.904 Wow. How crazy that that event 45:55.404 --> 45:58.944 is occurring like within the adjacent 48 hours just across town. 45:59.137 --> 46:02.391 Right. You've already made hats for this thing. Exactly. 46:03.065 --> 46:05.935 But they're there really to get their fortune told. So there is Ivana. 46:06.673 --> 46:10.303 The topless psychic played by oh darn it 46:10.803 --> 46:14.045 I forget the actress's name now but she is the she was like the replacement 46:14.545 --> 46:17.820 for Suzanne Somers on Three's Company. Yeah, Terry I think. Yeah, 46:17.836 --> 46:21.016 Three's Company. Yeah, she was she was there in the latter seasons 46:21.048 --> 46:24.292 of Three's Company. Priscilla Barnes that's her name. Priscilla Barnes. You know she's in her 46:24.421 --> 46:27.890 early forties in this movie and she looks great. Oh she looks fantastic. Fantastic. 46:28.034 --> 46:31.937 I mean that's a bold like lengthy very exposed 46:31.969 --> 46:35.005 nude scene right? Absolutely. Yeah. And yeah I mean she 46:35.165 --> 46:38.771 she. looks great. I, I'm willing to overlook the, the flaw that they see 46:38.787 --> 46:42.136 there, right? So the, so the, the gag is that, 46:42.216 --> 46:45.486 you know, she has 3 nipples and that's what gives her mystical powers 46:45.534 --> 46:48.963 or whatever. Yes. And, uh, and then, you know, 46:48.979 --> 46:52.344 she tells them their fortune and then she takes the 3rd 46:52.844 --> 46:55.710 nipple off when they leave and pops it in her mouth, which I don't— definitely 46:56.210 --> 46:58.065 don't understand. I don't know if that was just the actress. It's not a pepperoni, 46:58.161 --> 47:01.895 it's not a gummy. Yeah, it's just something to kind of gnaw 47:02.395 --> 47:03.257 But, but the funny part about it is that, you know, T.S. doesn't want to 47:03.306 --> 47:05.934 do this. Brody is all for it. He's like, ah, let's see some titties and 47:06.434 --> 47:08.674 get our fortunes told. And T.S. is like, I don't want— I want my girlfriend 47:09.174 --> 47:12.488 back. Like, I don't want this. And, uh, so they go through this, and then 47:12.504 --> 47:15.437 when the shirt actually comes off and the third nipple is exposed along with the 47:15.485 --> 47:18.402 other 2 real nipples, um, Brody cannot stop. 47:18.995 --> 47:22.408 He is disgusted by this third nipple, freaking out about it, while T.S. 47:23.097 --> 47:27.136 hasn't even looked down, apparently is staring this woman in the eyes and listening 47:27.184 --> 47:30.629 to her fortune being told and being very inspired. Right. About what to do next. 47:30.709 --> 47:34.180 And, and Brody meanwhile is freaking out. out. It's a funny scene. She looks great. 47:34.460 --> 47:37.420 You know, it's hard to argue with, uh, the, the artistic merit, 47:37.920 --> 47:40.720 uh, of this scene. But, uh, but yeah, they basically decide they need to go 47:41.220 --> 47:43.340 back. Like, like, T.S., I need to go back. I need to talk to Brandy. 47:43.840 --> 47:46.540 I need to, like, make this right. So this is sort of, like, driving us 47:47.040 --> 47:49.660 into the 3rd act of the, of the movie here. And we're, and we're back 47:50.160 --> 47:53.480 at the mall here. Yep. Uh, and Brody is like, he's like looking in the 47:53.980 --> 47:57.340 window of the lingerie shop or something, and Stan Lee walks up behind 47:57.840 --> 48:00.840 him. So he has a conversation with Stan Lee. Yes. Uh, which is funny because 48:01.340 --> 48:04.693 he's immediately launching into, like, giving advice about life And he's not just 48:05.193 --> 48:07.740 like, hey, well, glad you're a fan of my comic book. Like, he's, uh, 48:08.125 --> 48:11.493 really engaging there. Yeah. And, uh, and they talk about— he talks about how, 48:11.509 --> 48:13.882 like, he, he dated a lot of women, has been with a lot of women. 48:13.930 --> 48:16.063 He goes, oh, really? A lot? He goes, oh yeah, for a while me and 48:16.563 --> 48:19.960 Jagger had a, had a contest going. Last I checked, I'm way ahead, which I 48:20.072 --> 48:23.279 think is very funny. Um, but basically he tells him how, you know, 48:24.241 --> 48:26.150 all the things that he did in his life, all the comics or whatever, 48:26.166 --> 48:29.212 like, he, he's more worried about the one that got away. He did— he should 48:29.712 --> 48:33.360 have— when he recognized that someone he wanted to stay with. Like, he wishes 48:33.860 --> 48:36.700 he'd kept her, basically. It's kind of— it's like regrets, right? And we then see, 48:37.200 --> 48:40.220 as Stan walks away from Brody, TS is like hiding around the corner, and they 48:40.720 --> 48:43.200 talk. And TS put Stan up to it and thanks him, like, thanks for talking 48:43.700 --> 48:46.020 to him, like, he really needed to hear that. So that's why he like stuck 48:46.520 --> 48:48.840 around through the conversation. He was like, oh, I gave him the old one that 48:49.340 --> 48:52.580 got away speech. Yeah, exactly. Which apparently was specifically from one 48:53.080 --> 48:56.080 of the old Spider-Man comics, like the Vulture gave the speech or something. Like, 48:56.580 --> 48:58.680 he basically tells TS, like, I pulled it from the comics, but it's fine. 48:58.800 --> 49:00.540 And he says, you might want to get your friend looked at, you know, 49:01.040 --> 49:03.950 or talk to him. He seems obsessed with you. with comic book superhero, like, 49:04.078 --> 49:07.860 genitals, because he was asking about if the Thing's dork is made of rock or 49:08.360 --> 49:11.930 whatever, all this stuff. So, um, but yeah, then, uh, so now the point 49:12.430 --> 49:15.921 is there's no— there's no stopping the show, right? Right. Janson are not 49:15.953 --> 49:19.318 going to try to destroy the stage anymore. But, but now TS and Brody are 49:19.818 --> 49:22.795 back. Svenning is under the impression that they've been arrested and are fully in jail, 49:22.988 --> 49:26.497 right? Right. Just gone. And he is sick. Svenning is sick. He's puking. 49:27.154 --> 49:29.964 He's got a birth bag. and he's barfing into his barf bag and like all 49:30.464 --> 49:32.775 this stuff because of the stink bomb, we're assuming, right? He licked his hands all 49:33.275 --> 49:36.278 over after it was— anyway, gross-ass shit. And he— and, uh, 49:36.711 --> 49:39.153 the executives are there kind of like, whoa, dude, like, should you go home? 49:39.202 --> 49:41.628 And he goes, no, no, no, I'm not gonna miss this, whatever, right? So now 49:41.708 --> 49:45.387 Jay is supposed to get rid of the 3 contestants, and he meet— 49:45.887 --> 49:49.468 he finds 2 of them behind the stage, one with hair longer than Anthony Kiedis, 49:49.580 --> 49:52.938 this guy with crazy long hair. But basically Jay smokes them 49:53.438 --> 49:56.550 out and they pass out. So apparently— Right. Whatever weed he had, 49:57.050 --> 50:00.670 which I don't believe that there's any weed this good in 1995 in New Jersey. 50:01.170 --> 50:03.630 I just don't buy it. This is not— it's not California kind bud, you know 50:04.130 --> 50:07.870 what I mean? Like, yeah, um, yeah, definitely, definitely enhanced, 50:08.370 --> 50:11.650 uh, effects there. But yeah, they get the munchies and yeah, they're all— 50:12.150 --> 50:15.640 and they're done now, right? So Jay has knocked out 2 of the 3 contestants, 50:15.930 --> 50:18.230 and so TS and Brody show up and they're like, wait, where's the 3rd guy? 50:18.730 --> 50:19.850 There's supposed to be 3. He goes, I don't know, there were 2 guys back 50:20.350 --> 50:24.196 here. In walks Brian O'Halloran, the actor, playing Gil Hicks, right? 50:24.260 --> 50:27.634 Dante Hicks's twin brother. Fresh off a rooftop hockey game and a 50:28.134 --> 50:31.249 funeral. Dante Hicks's twin brother. Oh, okay, I didn't 50:31.749 --> 50:34.944 even notice the last name thing. Different first name. So, so, so yes, 50:34.960 --> 50:38.415 reference, you know, yes, related, but a different person. Also in college, 50:38.479 --> 50:41.644 you know, in college, whereas like Dante was like a community college, Gil apparently is 50:42.144 --> 50:45.645 like at Rutgers or something, right? They say so. It's like Dante's more accomplished 50:46.145 --> 50:49.513 older brother, or I mean twin brother. Anyway, so he's the last 50:49.577 --> 50:53.394 real contestant left, but now T.S. and Brody are gonna take the stage along 50:53.506 --> 50:57.355 with Gil in order to, like, do the whole show. 50:57.596 --> 51:00.691 Yep. And so, basically, they start this show, 51:00.723 --> 51:03.610 and it works just like The Dating Game. The 3 men are behind, you know, 51:03.626 --> 51:06.449 kind of on one side of the stage with a divider between them, and where 51:06.641 --> 51:09.929 Brandi comes out to sit and, like, whatever, and then there's a host. And so 51:10.429 --> 51:13.522 they start asking— they have the suitorette and the suitor number 1, suitor number 2, 51:13.554 --> 51:15.879 and suitor number 3. Brody asks if he can be called the second suitor, 51:15.959 --> 51:18.415 'cause suitor number 2 sounds like a dick. because he's a child. 51:19.313 --> 51:23.327 Anyway, the answers that T.S. and Brody give are like clearly 51:23.827 --> 51:27.067 very personal, related specifically to this being Brandy or to them. 51:27.115 --> 51:30.021 Like, they're not good at hiding their stuff. But then when Gil is asked a 51:30.085 --> 51:33.472 question— They're not doing voices or anything. No, they're just talking. And it's very unbelievable 51:33.972 --> 51:36.554 that she wouldn't immediately recognize T.S.'s voice, at least, if they've been dating this long. 51:36.987 --> 51:39.700 But when they get to Gil, to the 3rd story, she asks him a question 51:39.716 --> 51:43.007 about like, you know, what would our first date be like? And he gives the 51:43.507 --> 51:47.060 most stupid, ridiculous answer. Answer of like doing this, going to a fancy 51:47.560 --> 51:50.520 restaurant, going here, and then going to the beach to dance all night until the 51:51.020 --> 51:54.820 sun comes up. Like 19 hours. Fuck all of that, dude. And Brody calls him 51:55.320 --> 51:57.040 out like, that's such a load of shit. Like you're the kind of guy who'd 51:57.540 --> 52:00.660 beg for sex, like kind of thing. But I thought that was funny. And they 52:01.160 --> 52:04.120 gave like fake names, T.S. and Brody. I think Doug is what Brody said his 52:04.620 --> 52:06.440 name was. Or no, no, that's right. There was the host called them that because 52:06.940 --> 52:08.960 those are the original guys' names. Okay. They were just going by the original. 52:09.460 --> 52:11.225 They were going by the original guys' names. makes sense. But yeah, because there's one 52:11.725 --> 52:15.527 point I just know that Jason Jay yells out, do it, dog! Like, very funny. 52:16.105 --> 52:18.833 Um, but yeah, so they're on the show and they're just sort of like, 52:19.411 --> 52:23.150 you know, answering these questions. Uh, eventually Brandy is kind of figuring 52:23.167 --> 52:26.778 it out. There's a very long answer that Brody gives about, 52:26.858 --> 52:30.148 uh, masturbating in public, and his cousin Walter did it on a plane 52:30.164 --> 52:32.780 once because the plane was going down. Yeah. So he like whips it out, 52:32.797 --> 52:35.589 starts jerking, and then a bunch of other passengers do too. 52:36.103 --> 52:39.135 Then the plane like rights itself. Everything's okay. Everybody puts it, you know, 52:39.247 --> 52:42.504 stops doing what they're doing. Nobody talks about it. And you know, they never never 52:43.004 --> 52:45.808 mentioned it again. Plane lands and everybody goes on their way. And Gil is like, 52:46.274 --> 52:49.707 "So did he come or what?" He goes, "Jesus Christ, man! There are just some 52:49.723 --> 52:53.316 things you don't talk about in public." And the the 52:53.349 --> 52:56.397 TV executives love Brody. They're like, 52:56.541 --> 53:00.696 "Oh, we're gonna make this guy Deadpool someday. He's really firing 53:00.712 --> 53:03.360 off a lot of shit." Who's the fire? Funny guy. He's a funny guy over 53:03.860 --> 53:07.120 there. Who's that? Like, and, uh, yeah. And then it was like at one point 53:07.620 --> 53:11.210 they used the term making whoopee, which was common, right? That's such a dating show. 53:11.280 --> 53:15.000 It really is. Yeah, Newlywed Game, like that kind of stuff. Oh yeah. And then, 53:15.500 --> 53:18.100 but Brody's though, what does that mean? What, like fucking? And they're like, oh, 53:18.600 --> 53:22.160 like this is public, you can't say that on public access. Like, oh man. 53:22.660 --> 53:26.320 So, uh, so TS is able to talk to her finally and, 53:26.820 --> 53:29.894 you know, profess his proposes. Right. So what, 53:29.959 --> 53:32.506 what we should mention is that in the meantime, sort of in the background, 53:32.538 --> 53:34.701 the one— the one of the ways Jay and Silent Bob are trying to help 53:34.781 --> 53:38.707 is that— is that Jay has been tasked with getting the tape from 53:38.787 --> 53:42.215 Tricia. Or no, Tricia is bringing it to Jay. It's a tape of— because she 53:42.715 --> 53:45.596 films all of her research, all of her sex for her research. When she had 53:46.096 --> 53:48.496 sex with Shannon Hamilton the night before, she has a tape of it. And so 53:48.544 --> 53:51.877 she brings that to Jay because they're going to play this 53:51.989 --> 53:55.450 child pornography ostensibly in front of a bunch of people in public. 53:55.514 --> 53:59.220 Yeah. In order to get Shannon arrested. Um, which does happen eventually. 53:59.380 --> 54:02.460 Shannon starts coming up to like beat Brodie up because he's professing his love for 54:02.960 --> 54:05.840 Renee out in the crowd. And, and, you know, he's like, no, Silent Bob, 54:06.340 --> 54:08.940 not— and so Silent Bob can't reach the tape. It's like just out of reach. 54:09.440 --> 54:11.270 And he's trying to use the Jedi mind trick and he can't do it. 54:11.380 --> 54:14.380 And then Willem comes over so pissed off about not seeing the fucking Magic Eye 54:14.880 --> 54:17.800 thing that he like hits part of the stage, which I guess just like pops 54:18.300 --> 54:20.260 the tape up. Yeah, like bumps it up. Doesn't fully explain it. Pops it into 54:20.760 --> 54:23.000 his hand a little bit. So he thinks he is a Jedi in Silent Bob. 54:23.010 --> 54:26.530 You know, but they play the tape, the cops see it, Brody points out and 54:27.030 --> 54:29.770 goes, that girl's 15. And he goes, oh, 15? She told me she was 28 54:30.270 --> 54:32.770 or something. I was just like, bro, like, that's not even close. Like, you know, 54:33.270 --> 54:37.010 uh, and so they arrest him, uh, and then the— I love Brody. He's like, 54:37.510 --> 54:39.990 can I punch this guy? And the cop's like, you can't strike a prisoner in 54:40.490 --> 54:43.610 police custody. And he goes, come on, just once. Oh, okay. And they let him 54:44.110 --> 54:47.390 punch him, which I love that. But basically, yeah, 54:47.890 --> 54:51.190 like, uh, uh, the TV execs love Brody. Brody and Renee get back together. 54:51.690 --> 54:55.810 Yep. T.S. proposes to Brandy. She says yes. which makes Svenning throw 54:56.310 --> 54:58.200 up into his bag some more because now TS is going to be his son-in-law. 54:58.370 --> 55:01.670 I'm surprised he had anything left in his stomach. Yeah, you'd think. Or maybe, 55:02.170 --> 55:04.330 maybe he had a huge breakfast. Yeah, he had a lot of those pretzels. 55:04.450 --> 55:06.970 Exactly. And he was still eating them. That was the thing, he stole them from 55:07.470 --> 55:09.910 Brody when they got arrested and was continuing to eat. He probably finished the bag. 55:10.410 --> 55:13.770 Just horrific. Um, and so yeah, this is, this is kind of 55:14.270 --> 55:16.870 the end here. And then we get one of those like, um, sort of end 55:17.370 --> 55:20.230 of— oh yeah, Svenning, uh, is— the TV executive's like, dude, your show sucks. 55:20.730 --> 55:23.591 This game show is derivative and crappy. But this guy You ever wanted to do 55:24.091 --> 55:26.803 a late-night talk show? Like, that's a thing they just like offer to people, 55:26.867 --> 55:30.126 right? He goes, yeah. And on public access, 55:30.159 --> 55:33.129 right? No, no, this— no, no, these are networks. These are real. Okay, so they're 55:33.145 --> 55:35.730 seeing if they want to bring his show to the big time or whatever. 55:35.859 --> 55:39.134 That's the idea. Okay, Spinning's trying to sell the show to the networks as a 55:39.634 --> 55:43.341 show to be put on, and they instead say, fuck that, but we're gonna put 55:43.405 --> 55:46.954 you, random person we just met, on The Tonight Show. Yeah, you're gonna take 55:47.454 --> 55:51.267 over for Johnny Carson. Let that 55:51.767 --> 55:55.419 sink in for a minute. Jesus Christ. But he does. Yeah, he does. We get 55:55.919 --> 55:59.313 one of those little like post-credits sort of like what happened. Yeah, Animal House style. 55:59.442 --> 56:02.487 Stand By Me, right? Yeah, Sandlot. All those movies kind of do this kind of 56:02.987 --> 56:05.933 thing. And, uh, and so yeah, it's like basically like Brody, uh, 56:06.638 --> 56:09.748 hosts The Tonight Show. Renee is his band leader. Apparently she can play drums. 56:09.844 --> 56:13.274 Yeah, sort of. Um, TS and Brandy get married 56:13.450 --> 56:16.994 at like on the little like boat that shakes during during the 56:17.494 --> 56:20.545 Jaws portion of the Universal tour. Like, they're literally standing on that boat getting married. 56:20.593 --> 56:24.738 It's cute. And then there's a— what's playing is the song Suzanne by Weezer. 56:25.413 --> 56:28.545 And then there's this orangutan that says, and then Suzanne and 56:28.562 --> 56:31.582 Jay and Silent Bob will return. And it's like, that's so weird. 56:31.935 --> 56:34.924 But that is literally one of the major plot points of Jay and Silent Bob 56:35.424 --> 56:38.056 Strike Back, which comes out in 2001. Not the next movie, not the one after 56:38.556 --> 56:42.426 that, but in 3 movies, they refer back to this orangutan and 56:42.683 --> 56:45.670 Jay and Silent Bob and the monkey's name is Suzanne. It's not a monkey, 56:46.170 --> 56:47.450 it's an ape, but they keep calling it a monkey. Like, there's all this stuff 56:47.950 --> 56:51.510 that's like a major element of that movie's plot, uh, that I don't know what 56:52.010 --> 56:55.090 came first, if he already had that plot idea in mind. Yeah. Or if he 56:55.590 --> 56:58.170 just wanted to do something stupid and random at the end of this movie and 56:58.670 --> 57:01.530 then 3 movies later went, I'll just build around that. Like, yeah, you know, 57:02.030 --> 57:05.550 I'm not sure which of those is true, but yeah, that is, that is Mallrats. 57:06.050 --> 57:09.630 That is Mallrats. Um, so I'll go 57:10.130 --> 57:12.250 ahead and give my rating first, obviously, as I picked this one. And, and look, 57:12.750 --> 57:13.390 I, I know what this movie is and I know what this movie isn't, 57:13.890 --> 57:17.473 and one of the things this movie is, is one of my favorite 57:17.973 --> 57:21.886 movies of all time. It has its weaknesses, it has its foibles and its faults. 57:22.223 --> 57:25.610 But look, I love this movie. I think this movie's worth seeing no 57:26.110 --> 57:28.033 matter who you are. If you've seen it before, see it recently. If you haven't 57:28.533 --> 57:30.344 seen it recently, see it again. If you've never seen it, I think it's worth 57:30.844 --> 57:34.598 watching for everybody that likes this sort of like mid-'90s malaise, 57:34.646 --> 57:38.337 these sort of slacker hangout comedy style things. If you're into other Kevin Smith stuff, 57:38.353 --> 57:40.985 if you're into Richard Linklater stuff, this is worth watching in my opinion. 57:41.627 --> 57:45.413 I am a 4.5 out of 5 on Mallrats, and I'm expecting to be maybe 57:45.913 --> 57:48.092 the furthest apart we've ever been on scores, but we'll see. What did you think? 57:48.140 --> 57:52.247 We might be. I don't know. We might be. Um, so yeah, 57:52.311 --> 57:55.857 I mean, I, I had similar issues with Clerks, 57:55.921 --> 57:59.242 right? And, and we talked about it, like, you, you know, brought it up before, 57:59.466 --> 58:03.060 is that Kevin Smith's dialogue is beyond the 58:03.461 --> 58:06.028 scope of these actors' abilities sometimes. Yes. 58:06.894 --> 58:10.584 But like, the problem with writing dialogue in a way that nobody speaks in real 58:10.664 --> 58:14.822 life is that it sounds shitty if the actors can't deliver it. And making 58:14.854 --> 58:18.482 a movie is a collaborative effort between— 100%. The script and the actors and 58:18.982 --> 58:21.934 stuff. And I feel like there could have been some tweaks, or like, was it 58:22.434 --> 58:25.884 so important that Jeremy London's character talks just 58:25.996 --> 58:29.609 like that, that you couldn't fucking slow it down for him a little 58:30.109 --> 58:33.205 bit? And it, and it kind of drove me nuts. Like, during this movie, 58:33.318 --> 58:36.320 I was kind of like Ethan Suplee staring at the magic guy, 58:36.384 --> 58:39.290 like, I don't know what you fucking people are seeing here. 58:39.419 --> 58:42.657 I don't get this at all. all. And, and I love you, and I, 58:42.785 --> 58:45.317 and I know that there's a lot of people who really love, 58:45.974 --> 58:49.163 um, Kevin Smith movies, and it's just, 58:49.339 --> 58:53.313 it's just not my shit. And I like this one less than Clerks 58:53.506 --> 58:56.662 because of— because of— they had more budget, they had more 58:56.711 --> 59:01.454 to do. Um, snooty booties I can't stand. 59:02.239 --> 59:06.085 Uh, Jeannie told me about halfway through this movie, she like grabbed my 59:06.101 --> 59:09.690 leg and she She said, for your health, you're not allowed 59:10.190 --> 59:13.770 to watch any Kevin Smith movies for a while. Like, I was getting too upset 59:14.270 --> 59:17.690 at some shit. We'll push Chasing Amy and Dogma further down the road. It's okay. 59:18.190 --> 59:20.990 I don't know. It's a good discussion. I don't, I don't care. I'll watch, 59:21.490 --> 59:24.930 I'll watch whatever. And yeah, it was weird that 59:25.430 --> 59:28.630 the climax of the movie was that they showed child porn to a bunch of 59:29.130 --> 59:32.890 people. No, that's rough. This was an interesting movie because it didn't have credits at 59:33.390 --> 59:35.530 the end. It just had a list of people who should be ashamed of themselves. 59:35.592 --> 59:39.134 Uh, I saw that too. That was, 59:39.182 --> 59:42.132 that was weird. Um, so yeah, I mean, 59:42.565 --> 59:45.643 it just— this did not hit for me. Um, 59:46.316 --> 59:48.769 Mallrats for me, and I hate to do it, but I have to be fair 59:48.817 --> 59:51.622 to what my experience was when I was watching it, this is a 1 out 59:52.122 --> 59:55.421 of 5 for me. Okay, I did not like this at all. Okay, so that 59:55.453 --> 59:59.236 brings us to a 5.5 out of 10 on Mallrats, and for sure the biggest 59:59.736 --> 01:00:03.130 gap we've ever had. That is 3.5 points. Yeah, between us the furthest gap we've 01:00:03.630 --> 01:00:06.670 ever had before was 2.5. There was a few movies we were 2.5 apart. 01:00:07.170 --> 01:00:10.200 Uh, Last Starfighter, we were 2.5 apart. Thief, we were 2.5 apart. A couple others. 01:00:10.370 --> 01:00:13.390 But like, this is by far the biggest gap at 3.5. But hey, man, 01:00:13.890 --> 01:00:16.370 that's how the cookie crumbles. That's, that's what happens. And you notice, I mean, 01:00:16.870 --> 01:00:18.850 we get to 5.5 with like a super fan and somebody who hated it, 01:00:19.350 --> 01:00:21.910 and where'd we end up? Kind of right where the public is. Totally. And that 01:00:22.410 --> 01:00:25.550 a lot of ours that are 5.5s are not each of us giving like a 01:00:26.050 --> 01:00:29.430 2.5 and a 3. It's like, yeah, I mean, uh, representative of 01:00:29.930 --> 01:00:33.670 like the different types and And 01:00:34.170 --> 01:00:37.470 I think if I had, like, had more experience with this and, like, quoting it 01:00:37.970 --> 01:00:41.370 with friends, like, that enriches a movie so much. Like, if you have that younger 01:00:41.870 --> 01:00:45.390 life experience of it. I looked— on 2 different Halloweens in college, 01:00:45.890 --> 01:00:49.190 I dressed up as Silent Bob. That was my character and my costume, 01:00:49.690 --> 01:00:52.170 whatever. And I, like, wouldn't talk to people. Literally, people would come up to me 01:00:52.670 --> 01:00:55.610 and ask me, where's Jay? Because they'd rec— I made a good Silent Bob. 01:00:56.110 --> 01:00:57.830 I had the beard, I had a wig, I had the movies hat, the big 01:00:58.330 --> 01:01:00.430 jacket, the whole deal, buttons and whatever. I looked good. Yeah. And they would ask 01:01:02.526 --> 01:01:05.736 pantomime smoking a joint and like going to sleep. 01:01:06.314 --> 01:01:08.577 And I was just saying, and then shrugging, you know? And they all, they thought 01:01:09.077 --> 01:01:11.097 it was the funniest shit in the world. I was like the funniest asshole in 01:01:11.129 --> 01:01:14.804 the Chico streets. That's awesome. During Halloween those years. So yeah, this is, this is 01:01:15.304 --> 01:01:19.250 a filmmaker and a set of movies that I am well aware that I love 01:01:19.796 --> 01:01:22.572 more than a lot of people do. And they're incredibly divisive. I really think these 01:01:22.604 --> 01:01:25.798 are movies people either love or hate. That's sort of a cliché, but I don't 01:01:25.814 --> 01:01:28.318 know that many people that are in the middle on this. Yeah, for sure. 01:01:28.818 --> 01:01:31.810 Because it— yeah, it grabs you or it doesn't. It grabs you or it irritates 01:01:32.310 --> 01:01:34.630 you. Yeah, that's exactly right. Just like the characters. I mean, Bodhi is a guy 01:01:35.130 --> 01:01:37.310 in real life you'd be like, this is the funniest motherfucker I've ever met, 01:01:37.810 --> 01:01:40.630 or you'd be like, fuck that guy, I can't stand that guy, right? 100%. 01:01:41.130 --> 01:01:44.790 Yeah. Okay, so we are going from, uh, a movie— obviously very divisive 01:01:45.290 --> 01:01:48.650 movie that is responsible for numerous schisms in culture— this movie 01:01:49.150 --> 01:01:52.130 Mallrats— to a movie that's only going to bring us together. Nic, what's next? 01:01:52.630 --> 01:01:56.109 Yeah, it's only going to bring us together. Um, Um, we watched Mallrats and 01:01:56.609 --> 01:02:00.173 we saw that, uh, with Joey Lauren Adams, it's cool to have 01:02:00.510 --> 01:02:03.642 a woman with a very annoying voice who's willing to show her titties 01:02:04.142 --> 01:02:06.309 in a movie. And I want to keep that through line going. It's a good 01:02:06.809 --> 01:02:10.308 through line. As we go to, uh, to 1989, and we're taking a different, 01:02:10.469 --> 01:02:14.067 uh, tonal approach here. We're gonna see a filmmaker we haven't seen yet who's very 01:02:14.179 --> 01:02:17.713 important throughout this era. Um, and we are gonna visit, 01:02:17.938 --> 01:02:21.612 uh, Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, New York. Nice. And we are going to hang 01:02:21.708 --> 01:02:25.779 out with, uh, Mookie and his crew in Spike Lee's 1989 01:02:25.891 --> 01:02:29.336 film Do the Right Thing. I am incredibly excited to see this movie because 01:02:29.836 --> 01:02:33.262 I've never seen it. I'm not entirely sure I've ever seen a Spike 01:02:33.762 --> 01:02:35.970 Lee movie all the way through. I'm not positive. Spike Lee joint. Excuse me, 01:02:35.987 --> 01:02:38.871 a Spike Lee joint. My apologies. Uh, yes, I don't know that I've ever seen 01:02:39.371 --> 01:02:40.586 any of them all the way through. I've seen clips and bits. You know, 01:02:40.634 --> 01:02:44.880 there's— he's had such an important, uh, uh, sort of like effect on movies 01:02:45.380 --> 01:02:47.432 and on culture that you You know, it's another one of these things where I 01:02:47.932 --> 01:02:51.223 feel like I'm more aware of him than have actually experienced 01:02:51.287 --> 01:02:55.239 his creative work. Well, he's like, you know, talking about these filmmakers of the 01:02:55.319 --> 01:02:59.158 era that we're covering, him, Kevin Smith, Tarantino maybe, 01:02:59.238 --> 01:03:02.435 are these guys who were like personalities in addition to being filmmakers. 01:03:02.483 --> 01:03:04.972 So you would know who they are, what they look like, what they sound like, 01:03:05.053 --> 01:03:07.912 even if you haven't seen their stuff before. 100%. I think of Spike Lee, 01:03:07.928 --> 01:03:11.156 I think of like Courtside at the Knicks. I think of those Penny Hardaway, 01:03:11.542 --> 01:03:15.041 the little Penny commercials from the '90s Whatever it was. So yeah, 01:03:15.058 --> 01:03:17.703 it's like you know he's a cultural force. But yeah, I'm not super familiar with 01:03:18.203 --> 01:03:20.973 his work, and I know what I've heard of this movie. Just that it is 01:03:21.486 --> 01:03:24.564 was an important film for its time, is still relevant, etc. So I'm very 01:03:24.596 --> 01:03:27.000 excited to see it. So thank you for bringing Do the Right Thing to the 01:03:27.500 --> 01:03:30.367 table. I think this will be really interesting to come at it in 2026, 01:03:30.767 --> 01:03:34.005 never having seen it. Yeah. So we will get into that next week. 01:03:35.096 --> 01:03:37.468 Yeah, that's that's a wrap. So if you like what you hear, 01:03:38.398 --> 01:03:41.814 go ahead and head over to Apple or Spotify and give. us a 5-star review. 01:03:41.910 --> 01:03:45.040 It really helps new folks find the show. Be sure to check out our website 01:03:45.540 --> 01:03:49.037 at twodads1movie.com. That's the number 2 and the number 1. There you can explore the 01:03:49.537 --> 01:03:52.135 movies we've covered, sign up for our newsletter, The Rewind, which I actually put out 01:03:52.635 --> 01:03:55.987 an issue of not long ago. Yes, exploring the legend of 01:03:56.487 --> 01:03:59.839 Stan Bush and the song The Touch and how it ties several movies we've seen 01:04:00.339 --> 01:04:03.932 and even a couple we still will together. It's good stuff. Deep dive on Bloodsport 01:04:03.980 --> 01:04:07.672 is always good. So yeah, great stuff. Check that out. And those past issues of 01:04:08.172 --> 01:04:11.360 The Rewind are available on the website as well. Uh, once again, this has been 01:04:11.796 --> 01:04:15.022 Mallrats, another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. 01:04:15.167 --> 01:04:17.168 Thank you so much for listening, and we'll catch you next week. Thanks,