All you have to do is follow 3 simple rules. 1,
never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.
2, take it outside. Never start anything inside
the bar unless it's absolutely necessary.
And 3, be nice.
Come on, honey. If somebody gets in your face and
calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice.
Okay. Ask him to walk. Be nice.
If he won't walk, walk him, but be nice.
If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both
be nice. I want
you to remember that it's a job.
It's nothing personal. Uh-huh. You call
it a cocksucker impersonal? No.
It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.
I wonder if somebody calls my mama a whore.
Is she?
I want you to be nice until it's
time to not be nice. Well, uh,
how are we supposed to know when that is? You won't.
I'll let you know. You are the bouncers,
I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back and
each other's. Take out the trash.
It's Two Dads, One Movie. It's the podcast where two middle-aged dads sit
around and shoot the shit about the movies of the '80s and '90s. Here are
your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nick Briana.
Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Two Dads, One Movie. I'm Steve and I'm
Nick, and today we are talking about the 1989 classic Road
House as we wrap up the '80s portion of Two Dads, Two Decades.
And Nick, you picked Road House for us, so tell us a little bit about
your history with it and why you picked it for us. Oh man, I mean,
I think you and I probably have similar histories with this one. This wasn't one,
you know, I would have been aware of when I was 10 years old,
right? This is one that hit you know, in my late teens and 20s.
And it's just rewatchable and quotable and stupid and goofy.
And like, the girls didn't want to watch it, so you could have bro time.
And, you know, you kind of had no choice because there were no options of
girls who might want to come watch with you. But man, I remember it
being so fun and like the cheesiness of it and the action
and the bar fights and the music. And it's just always been a blast.
So I thought this would be a great one to talk about with you.
What about you, Steve? When did you see this one? Yeah, I think the fair—
I honestly believe that I saw this the very first semester I went away to
college. So I actually went to like 4 different colleges, which is a long and
boring story. But the first one I went to is called Southern Oregon University.
I was there for like a semester and the dorm I was in, it was
like the building had— it was like a co-ed mixed building, but every floor was
like men or women. So it's like on my floor was only dudes in like
every room. And there was like this one group that they
got. These guys just had this pair that was there. They just had like a
decent sized TV and a huge DVD collection. Yeah. And so it's like, dudes are
always just like, we'd hang out in that room, like watch movies. And Road House
was one of the movies that they watched a bunch. It was the first time
I saw it. I thought, this is fucking awesome. Like, it was very much— it
hits in a way like an 18 or 19-year-old is just going to absolutely love
in so many ways. And so I've seen it a ton since then. It's one
that I like, you know, jokingly kind of think of as one of my
favorite movies. Not like— like, I do love it unironically in some ways,
but also ironically in others where it's like, sure, it's It definitely crosses that so
bad it's good thing for a little bit. But it still feels like real love
to the viewer. To you, it still feels like love.
It's something amazing. And, you know, we're obviously going to get into all of it,
but like there are elements of this movie that just absolutely like
withstand the test of time. I mean, tell— mention throat
ripping to like anyone who's even come into contact with this
movie over the years and they'll know this is what you're talking about. Yeah,
yeah. And it spawned MacGruber, my— one of my favorite movies
of all time. I mean, another throat rip classic. Yeah. And, and also
this movie, like, I love The Blues Brothers is one of my favorite movies of
all time. The scene at Bob's country bunker where they're playing country music behind
that chicken wire and stuff. This movie is like a whole movie of that part.
It is wonderful. Like, it's fantastic. So, yeah, I can't wait to talk about
this one. I love it. Real quick, are you familiar with— there's an old Twitter
user, old Twitter account called Dad Boner. You ever heard of this guy? He created
a character named Carl Wilson, and like, he's like this,
you know, deadbeat dad divorcee kind of guy, like this character.
And he's like, whatever. But he's like way into like Guy Fieri and
Roadhouse and all this stuff. And he wrote a Roadhouse sequel called
Roadhouse 2012: Pain Don't Hurt. It's absolutely hilarious.
It stars him and it's
like him and Guy Fieri are starring in it as both themselves
and the characters. And then also Barry from Storage Wars is
in it as the Emmett character, which is like just absolutely hilarious. So nice
kind of thing. If you can track it down, I don't even know if it's
still on Twitter after all the craziness there, but that was a very funny thing.
Always made me, always made me love this movie more. All right, let's jump into
the facts on Roadhouse. All right.
Roadhouse came out on May 19th, 1989, with an R rating and
a running time of 114 minutes. It's directed by Rowdy Harrington.
And if there was a better first name for the director of this movie than
Rowdy, I don't know. What it could be. I almost like we were talking
about, we don't know what else this guy's done. It almost sounds like it's an
Alan Smithy for like the redneck type things, you know? Right.
Did you make a movie about bar fights and like raw-dogging it
in barns and you don't want to put your name on it? Use the name
Rowdy Harrington. All right. It's written by R.
Lance Hill and Hillary Henkin. And again, the fact that a woman
was involved in writing this movie to me is very surprising. It does not feel
like a movie that has a woman's kind of like perspective at all.
Like, it honestly feels like R. Lance Hill dictated it and Hillary
Henkin typed it. And that's no disrespect to Hillary Henkin, but based
on the point of view of this film, complete disrespect to Arlene Sill if true.
However, starring Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, and Sam Elliott.
Scores not particularly good on any of the three fronts
we usually look. Rotten Tomatoes, 44%, definitely rotten. On IMDb,
a 6.7, which is not garbage, but is under that— we've discovered,
right, 7 is sort of the threshold for like a decent flick. So we're underneath
that. And we get a pair of thumbs down, least surprising two thumbs down in
my opinion, from Siskel and Ebert ever. Awards, no No award wins that
I could find worth mentioning, but it did get nominated for 5 Razzie Awards
in 1990. Didn't win any of them, but it was nominated for worst picture,
worst director, worst screenplay, worst actor for Patrick Swayze,
and worst supporting actor for Ben Gazara. I looked into it. The movie that kind
of swept those categories generally, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier,
written and directed by William Shatner. He won the director worst Razzie, the actor
worst, the picture won worst picture. Cleaned up the Razzies that year, Star Trek
V. So, um, and on a budget of $15 million,
Road House brought home $30.1 million, just over 2x what
it cost. So that's at least a moderate success. That's not a total flop or
anything. So yeah, interesting. Made its money back. It did. Hey,
sweep up all the broken glass. Well, you got to sweep up those eyeballs every
night, man. So, all right, you, you picked this movie for us, man. Jump in.
How do we start? All right, so we get immediately— we're like,
uh, shown this bar and there's some butt-rocking band
playing. As the music throughout this movie, it's always live
band at a bar. It's very good. You know, it's not like the greatest songs
of all time that I'll listen to in the car driving around, but it really
like puts you inside the movie. So, so I love it. And, uh, what is
it, diegetic, non-diegetic? You're talking about, right? Kind of like crosses
the threshold because it's the same music, you know. But, uh, very good.
And we get, um, and this is like a bar that's doing well, the band's
killing it, whatever. This hot chick pulls up in a Ferrari and there's
like a dude in a bolo tie, a black bolo tie, who's Mr. Tiller,
right? Or Tillerman? Yeah, sounds right. Yeah, something like that. He's the owner of
the Double Deuce. That's right. But he's like walking around this place just looking impressed
by how well the bar is doing. So there's all these scenes of like money
changing hands, right? There's one guy who hands a gold American
Express card and he's like, oh, this gold plastic will do the trick.
He said something about gold plastic, which kills me. And then,
you know, we get a nice side profile of our hero
Dalton Patrick Swayze with like one of the better
shaped mullets I've ever seen in my life. I wouldn't even call it a mullet
because it's just, it's so windswept and styled. Yeah, it's not a mullet, I don't
think, because I think it's long enough in front that you really can't call it
a mullet, even though he does sweep it back. Like, that's how he wears it.
But like the actual like style, you know, isn't super mullet-y.
Like, yeah, he really looks— It's kind of party all over. Yeah, exactly.
It's a party one way, you know, left every way. Right and left.
Real quick on the band, because I was wondering this when I was watching,
I'm like, is this like a cover or is this a cover band? Or like,
is this even a real band? Is this actors? No, no, no. That song,
Don't Throw Stones, and that band, they are the Crusados. That is their
song. They got that band to play in the, you know, so I
don't think the song was written for the movie. I think it was just like,
yeah, let's put this band in this and they'll play their song in it.
So like they got to open a major Hollywood picture with
their song, Don't Throw Stones. And then I don't know about you, but I never
heard from them again. No, I had no idea. Probably cashed in on that,
and they, you know, most of the budget probably went to that.
Exactly. Um, so of course,
you know, Swayze Dalton is the cooler, and he's looking around the bar.
He's got his eye on everything, and he's watching all the stuff that's happening.
He sees a couple of classic '80s a-holes, right,
as he's just being like 100% cool with
them. Yeah, until he's not cool and, you know, kicks him out of the bar.
So he dispatches the situation in a way that does not
disturb the business, right? Which is very impressive to Mr. Tiller, who's watching with the
creepiest look on his face that he has throughout the movie. His look of loving
Dalton's shit is like, you either gotta smile more or
make it straighter, but it's like too in between, man. You gotta cut that shit
out. Yeah, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty wild. Um,
Tillman apparently is his name. Yeah, there we go. Okay, but, um, but yeah,
a couple of things here. So basically, uh,
first of all, Dalton is the only person that could possibly look this badass
in a pair of pleated linen pants, for one thing.
And he's looking very River Wild-ish. Yeah, a little bit. Looking like, looking like Straytherin
in River Wild, for sure. He's got kind of a dad vibe to him.
A little bit. You know, there's an element of that. But like, can we talk
briefly about like, what the fuck is a cooler? And I know that we're not,
we're not new or unique bringing this up in podcasts that have talked about this
movie. But like, I spent, I met my wife at a bar in
our early 20s. I spent between college and having kids, which was like 15
years. I, you know this, we used to hang out every once in a while
there too. I used to spend most of my free evenings at a bar and
I knew a lot of bouncers, knew a lot of bartenders, and I never once
heard anyone refer to anyone on staff as a cooler. And this was a bar
that like had trouble sometimes, not, you weren't sweeping the eyeballs up or whatever every
night, but they, you know, it would get a little rough at times. And so
what the hell is a cooler? And is this something that exists outside of Roadhouse?
Yeah. Is it like a thing in honky tonks or were they just like,
we don't want to be like, bouncer because it doesn't sound cool enough.
What sounds cool enough? Cooler. I've got it. I've never heard
of it before. Is the mess up part is he later, later on in the
movie, he refers to the other security staff at the bar he ends up working
at. You're the bouncers, I'm the cooler. Like, so it's not like bouncer
isn't a thing that exists in this world. It's just that there's also this special
tai chi kung fu guy who can like zen
everybody out before the bouncers have to boot them, I guess. Like, it's— he made
up his own position and got hired at it. Yeah, he's brilliant. I remember one
of my first jobs after I worked with a guy whose title was marketing technologist,
and I asked if he made it up. He said, yeah. I'm like, why?
Um, anyway, so yeah, so Tillman is there to recruit Dalton, basically. Dalton takes a
knife, uh, wound to his arm in the
fight without a reaction. Oh, completely. It's very Nic Cage in Con Air,
like getting shot and just continuing to walk. Yeah. And then we— the next
time we see Dalton, he's actually in like the office or whatever at the bar
sewing his own, you know, making stitches and sewing up his own wound.
Yeah. So we used to have a thing, uh, in in
college when we talked about things that make these type of movies great. Yeah.
And one of the concepts, uh, which is not universal but was funny, was the
3 S's. And it was a strip club, a supermarket, and self-surgery.
And, uh, because movies that ended up having like supermarket—
like, uh, Cobra and Big Lebowski falling down, like, yeah.
So anyway, Swayze doing self-surgery really put a hop in my
step when I was watching. I love seeing those scenes. I feel like this might
be— need to be a new trope that we add, a new tag. Yeah,
because like definitely The Predator had this, right? The Predator gave himself self-surgery.
And I know we haven't done Rambo 3 yet, but come on, we're going to.
It's in the hopper. He cauterizes a wound, for Christ's sake. Like, yeah.
But yeah, so definitely something to keep an eye out for.
And Tillman wants to hire Dalton because he heard
he was the best, or he said, I need the best. Right. And then Dalton's
like, Wade Garrett's the best, who we haven't met yet.
That's Sam Elliott. We're going to meet him later. Yes, we are. A whole lot
of him. So the finances of this deal.
Dalton looks like— I— it doesn't say where they are at the beginning, but it
looks almost like somewhere nicer to live than fucking
outside of Kansas City where he ends up. It looks like Miami or—
yeah, I got the vibe maybe LA, just the way people are dressed. Yeah,
it looks like a fancy place, right? And then, uh,
he's getting them out of there, and Dalton seems like very successful,
very needed, probably well compensated there. And the guy offers him, uh,
Dalton's terms are $5,000 up front and then $500 a night.
'Plus you pay my medical expenses.' Right. Yeah. And to a guy who just watched
him stitch himself up, I'd be like, 'Dude, I'll fucking take that. You don't seem
to—' Let's see, needle and thread budget. Got it. It's like someone says like,
'You pay my gas,' and you're like, 'Well, you don't have a driver's license,
so that's perfect.' Um,
yeah, so Dalton gets inside his sick, uh,
Mercedes-Benz coupe with, uh, New York plates and
drives off. He says, 'When can I expect you?' He's just like
Fuck you, I'll just show up. Yeah, I'll be there. 'Cause Tillman's got a plane
ticket for him. He's like, yeah, I bought your plane ticket. He goes, I don't
fly, too dangerous. When,
yeah, okay. So he's off to Jasper, Missouri. Originally we're just
told, oh, it's, I got this bar, the Double Deuce, Tillman says, I got this
bar. I recently came into some money and I want to clean it up.
Right now it's a place where you sweep up the eyeballs at the end of
the night, which is like, I don't even really want to unpack all that.
But, you know, we find out it's not just outside Kansas City, it's actually a
place called Jasper, Missouri. So we are talking about, You know, I'm assuming somewhere kind
of in the middle of Missouri, near Kansas City, but not that near. Yeah.
So not really close to St. Louis or anything like that, right? So this is
like rural Missouri. This is that town with like 5,000 population
at most. At most. Absolutely. Yeah. They have the Double Deuce Bar.
They have an auto parts store and a Ford dealership and then a general
store. Yeah. That seems like about it. And they're all close to each other.
In some shots, you can see multiple of them in the same establishing shot.
Yeah. It's like the kind of town that has like a single stoplight, if any,
right? And so that is one reason why I I do not for a second
believe when we first see the Double Deuce and it is a rowdy, crazy place.
It's got the chicken wire up in front of the band. So they, you know,
all the bottles being thrown at them, which I'm like, how is that even helpful?
Because that the glass is just gonna shatter against the thing and go through,
through them. But whatever. There are not, there are not this many
sort of like classically LA hot women in
a place like Jasper, Missouri. Dude, it's like— All the women look like Larry and
Balki's girlfriends on Perfect Strangers. Exactly. Yes. Oh my God,
good pull. Yeah, it's, it's wild. It just doesn't make sense for like,
for like where they are. Yeah, you know, not at all. And the guys,
it's not like it's also classy guys. No, the guys
are like all a bunch of shit kickers, like just
poorly groomed, slobby, uh, just horrible. Yeah, all the
staff looks like what I'd expect from, from that area. You know, most of
the dudes in that place, yeah, are just sort of like schlubs. And then there's
these like miniskirt-clad, you know, big hair, kind of like, like I
said, like kind of especially late '80s, like L.A. women, you know, looking like hot
chicks. Yeah. And it just doesn't make any sense because they're
outside of Kansas City, Missouri. Maybe, maybe I am just totally, you know,
ignorant about the, the kind of people in Missouri.
It seems like you'd want to go into the big city, you know, if you're,
if you're dressing up that much, drive the extra 20 miles.
Exactly. And go, so maybe, maybe you run into, uh, Brett Saberhagen
or something like that. Um, so Dalton is kind of like looking
around the Double Deuce and he's scoping it out. And again, this is like his
vision. He can spot the problems immediately and he can see,
you know, the, uh, the drug deals happening,
the bouncers letting people in with fake IDs, and,
you know, the bartender skimming from the till and all that stuff. So dude,
he immediately— he's like He's like a John Taffer.
He's like a superhuman John Taffer. Which would really be
just a human. Yeah. Would be a superhuman John Taffer. No, but like,
he, you know, especially the fake ID thing, like it's clear that one particular like
member of the security staff is letting in clearly underage women.
Like these are young looking girls compared to some of the others in the area.
And so, you know, that's gross. And he does clock that. But almost immediately
one of the waitresses, her name's Carrie Ann, we meet her. She's much more
kind of, a little more homely, a little more mousy, you know, than the kind
of women who are the patrons there. But she, like, knows who he is.
Like, immediately is like, "Oh, I know you." That's the wildest thing. How the fuck
do these people know who this guy is? Working at a bar, you know— And
just, like, how would— Unless the guy said,
"Hey, Dalton's coming. His hair looks like this." Right.
"Who's Dalton?" "Oh, he's the world's best cooler." Which even— How did Tillman even know?
Right. It's like, how does Tillman know who he is? How does Carrie-Anne know who
he is? Like everybody else? Oh, that's Dalton. First of all, one fucking name.
Like, there may be a lot of people named Dalton. Like, I don't know why
this— it's not Cher or Madonna, right? Like, this could potentially be multiple people.
But yeah, everybody knows who he is. And it's like, that doesn't make any
sense. Not at all. This is like pre-internet even. This isn't even like, you know,
he went viral on TikTok, so we all know who he is. Like, none of
that shit. Yeah, yeah. Um, but he's
so legendary. I mean, he has an aura about him, right? Nobody goes in and
then, you know, the bartender's kind of pissed that he's not drinking,
Played by Terry Funk, former WWF wrestler.
Morgan. Yeah. Uh, so,
uh, all this stuff is happening and one guy hits on
the blonde chick, like one of these big-haired hot blonde chicks, and he
says— and this is like a gross-looking guy— and he says, what do you say
you and me get nipple to nipple? I've used
that line. I've used that line. You can ask my wife. Uh, yeah, and her
response is, I can do that without you, I believe is what she says,
which Uh, I'll be honest, maybe see it, give it a
shot. Yeah, I know, I'd like to see the effort there. Quite the parlor trick
if, if possible, because it doesn't sound like the kind of thing you can do
on your own. But then, you know, the, uh, the owner's kind of walking around
and showing, you know, how dilapidated this bar is, and there's all this graffiti
on the wall and people have written there, and somebody has written like, for a
great fuck, call whatever. Yeah. And the owner takes out a Sharpie and he changes
fuck to Buick, which I thought was just— oh, that's so great. I love
that. Oh man, that's— at least it's an American car. Yeah. Um, And then
there's a big bar fight that starts. And the way it starts is this one
guy sitting with his girlfriend, wife, whatever, some girl he's with is
looking. These two guys are staring at her and he looks up at them and
goes, hey, like, I'll let you kiss him. Like, what do you think? You know,
her boobs, right? For $20, you can kiss them, $10 each or whatever.
And the guy's like, oh, okay. He reaches over. She doesn't take her clothes off,
but she takes her top down to her bra. And the guy starts massaging her
tits. And the guy's like, what are you going to do? What are you doing?
You're going to kiss him? He's like, no. It's like, well, then what are you
doing? It's like, I don't got $20. And that starts a huge brawl.
Yeah, absolutely wild. I like when those fights start
where it's like between, you know, these 4 people. Yeah. And then 2
guys that are sitting way over by the jukebox just start punching each other on
cue. Very Airplane. Oh, it was awesome, dude. It was very— this whole thing was
like— and people are doing WWF finishing moves to each
other. There's suplexes, picking people up and throwing them. This looked like
the Royal Rumble. There were bottles flying, there were chairs flying. Women were in it.
Like, it didn't matter who you were. This was an equal opportunity brawl.
An egalitarian Hell in a Cell match.
Um, yeah. So, uh, yeah, yeah. So Dalton's got to get—
he knows, he knows what he has to fix. Yeah, he knows what the situation
is. He knows how rowdy it is now. You know, he talks to Tillman a
little bit, but then he goes and gets a new car. Not like a new
car, obviously. He gets a different car because his car, he knows he's going to
get messed up. So he buys, you know, the shitty old— I don't know if
it's like a Grand Prix or something like that. It's like an old, like,
Pontiac maybe. Um, not even 100% sure, but like, he You
know, drives it and he takes it to the auto parts place and buys a
bunch of tires because he just knows, like, when he gets started, he's gonna get
like— they're gonna get window busted and slash my tires. Like, he's prepped, which is
really smart. So he buys this crappy car to do that. Um, and, uh,
and then I think brief— oh, and then this is when he finds where to
live. And this is cool. We meet Emmett, who's this really cool grizzled old guy
with a great beard, like an awesome old guy beard. Yeah, uh,
really fantastic. Like, like, honestly adjacent to Santa
Claus. Like, that's how good the beard is. Um, and he basically is like willing
to rent this barn apartment out to Dalton, which is gorgeous.
It's like this beautiful, like, remodeled hayloft,
right? You know, and he's fully furnished. Oh, no electricity. It's like,
it seems like it's always the perfect temperature there. It looks out on
this river, like, this beautiful view and everything. I mean,
yeah, I'm very jealous. That's one of my favorite lofts. Yeah, it does
have those wild, like, sort of piano-loading windows that open, like, completely top
down. It's a very dangerous kind of thing, but, you know, it's beautiful. I think
he says it's $100 a month. Yeah. Are you I, goddamn, I get that it's
Missouri in 1989, but still, that's wild. But across
the little river from them is a person that we're meeting now who
lives there named Brad Wesley. And Brad arrives via helicopter,
which terrifies Emmett's horses. And Emmett and Dalton both run down
to like calm them, whatever. And yeah, we just kind of get a glimpse of
like, it's clear Wesley is a shitty rich guy who like flies in on a
helicopter and lives just across the creek for whatever reason. This little creek separates Emmett's
farm or ranch or whatever it is from Brad Wesley. Like Scarface estate, got palatial,
like, you know, fucking Dom Herrera in, uh, in Commando mansion,
basically. Uh, but yeah, so that's, that's— now we finally meet, we meet Brad
Wesley, just get a little glimpse of him. When I was a kid, my grandfather
lived in, uh, Cape Cod, and they were on this canal.
So, you know, his place was on the water, and a few properties down from
him was this, like, seafood processing guy, this guy who, like,
had licenses to get clams and quahogs and all this stuff. And my
grandfather and that guy, he was like his arch enemy. And so he
was like the Brad Wesley of the street. And one thing that that guy
did in revenge for my grandfather taking out like
3 little grandkids to pull like 5 total clams out of the ground that really
belonged to this guy, he dumped all the broken clamshells from
his factory in, in the water in front of my grandfather's house so that
we could never go in the water without shoes on because it was all like
broken pieces of shells and stuff. Love it. So, uh, fuck Mr.
Kelly. Yeah, fuck Mr. Kelly. Fuck Brad Wesley. That's right.
But yeah, Brad Wesley, man, what a, uh, what an entrance
for him. And Ben Gazara, who plays Wesley, is just not an intimidating
or scary guy. He's a good actor. He's not a great actor. He's a good
actor, and he definitely tries everything he can with this role. But like,
there are a few scenes where he acts so tough,
like, you don't know why I don't like you, O'Connor, you're a bleeder. Like,
you know, yeah, that stuff we'll get to later, but He— it's not scary.
He's not scary at all. Well, and he's never really confronted. Like, he's just
beating on a guy who's not allowed to hit back. True, that's a good point.
Uh, yeah, I would have rather seen Paul Gleason in this role. I feel like
he would have been scarier. Dude, I would have loved some Gleason. Um, so now
they're having like a staff meeting at the Double Deuce, and Dalton's running shit,
you know, and he starts firing people. He's, you know, telling the guys like,
you know, I saw you— you don't have the right temperament to Terry Funk,
get out of here. I saw you stealing, I saw you dealing drugs. He gives
the 3 most important rules in life, which are: never
underestimate your opponent.
Number 2, always take it outside. And number 3,
be nice. So those are his things. And he's really emphasizing
that. And there's actually, and this sort of goes right to Dalton's sort of Zen-like
take on everything. And, you know, one of the guys who has not yet been
fired, I think his name is Steve, asks him, well, so a guy calls
me a cocksucker. Like, that's not personal? And he goes, no,
it's a few syllables that are intended to elicit a response.
Like, you can control how you respond to that. It's just words. Like,
you're nice until it's time not to be nice. And then like somebody, and then
he goes, what if he calls my mom a whore? And she goes, he goes,
well, is she? And it's just like a great, like, you know, why do
you care? It's like, it reminded me, it's so funny.
Like I've never really thought of this in this context because of the order of
these pieces of art that I was, you know, that I encountered.
But there's a great scene in the TV show Schitt's Creek, which I've mentioned on
this podcast a few times. Where one of the characters, Alexis, tells her brother
David, like, "Nobody's thinking about you the way you're thinking about you." And the idea
is just like, you can't let what other people say or think about you matter,
'cause it really doesn't. And I feel like it's very much what Dalton's trying to
impart on this bunch of rowdy bouncers and bartenders. It's like,
"Dude, it doesn't matter. They're just trying to get a rise out of you.
You are not actually a cocksucker, unless you are, in which case, whatever,
go enjoy sucking cock. But why should it matter?" Right?
Yeah. Well, 'cause they're all in like, "I wish a motherfucker would" mode. And Dalton's
trying to get them out of that headspace. Headspace.
Exactly. And Dalton, when he's at the bar, when he's working, he's only drinking black
coffee. And at one point he goes to order coffee from the
bar and the guy says, leaded or unleaded? And Dalton chuckles
at it. It's a great little line. It's like, really? Isn't that a thing that
people have said forever? He probably would've heard that a lot. But I think Dalton's,
he's trying to build up the community and stuff. He's got to build rapport
with his new direct reports. Yeah. Yep.
Uh, let's see. So we see some more action here.
Dalton's seeing some stealing. He's seeing some— yeah, the fake IDs get
let in. Uh, a guy confronts Dalton. He's like, uh,
there's a lady dancing up on a table and Dalton's trying to get her down,
and this guy's like, oh, fuck you, man. Pulls out switchblade, the official
weapon of crime. There you go. And, uh, Dalton's like, smashes his head through
a cocktail table. Really smoothly. Smoothly but viciously.
Real good. Was that thing made of graham crackers? I can't believe how like easily
it went through. It did look like maybe like particle board or something
like, yeah, or like balsa wood, the kind of thing you make paper airplanes out
of back in the day. And then, and then, uh, Tillman watching him, he's just
like, he's good, right? Real good. Tillman's enjoyment
scenes, dude, it looks like, uh, Philip Seymour Hoffman in Boogie Nights where he's
holding the boom mic and seeing Dirk Diggler's dick for the first time. He's just
like, yeah, yes. And John Lovitz in The Wedding Singer, like,
he's going, he's losing it, and I'll reap the benefit. Like, it's just got that
look. John loves it. It's like an evil enjoyment that he's having.
Oh, uh, and what Dalton says at the end of all this
ordeal, you know, where it seems like, yay, Dalton saved the day, he's like,
it'll get worse before it gets better. And he walks out then to
see that his car has become destroyed à la the Street
Fighter 2 bonus level. That's right. Yeah, yeah, it's just completely smashed,
like you said, tires, window, everything. Antenna got ripped
off. Uh, before he leaves for the night, he does catch— so Steve is one
of the bouncers who's letting in the people with no ID. Oh yeah. And he
takes one of them back to the storeroom room and is banging her. It's literally
like, you're gonna be my regular Saturday night thing, baby, which is
just the most romantic thing said in this movie. Um, but that's when
Dalton— that's when Dalton catches, you know, it's like, uh, you're out of here.
Like, can you fire Steve then? And then, yeah, he fires the bartender who saw
was skimming. Um, and the bartender is very incredulous about it, and we learn why
quickly, but he's kind of like, are you sure? Yeah, sure, I want to hear
it from this, you know, from Tillman, wherever he goes, you're out of here,
you know, whatever. And it's like, so he does fire him, but it's like clear
there was like an expectation. That guy clearly had an expectation he'd never be fired
for whatever reason. Yeah, even when he brought up the reason, he was like,
I figure you're costing this place $150 a night. And the bartender was
just like, so? He wasn't like, yeah, but I bring in people. Like, there was
no counterargument. It was just like, and what? Right. Yeah.
Um, and then we get an interesting little moment. Dalton's gone back home
and he's like going to bed, or maybe he's actually asleep, whatever. And a pool
party in the middle of the night breaks out across the river at, uh,
at Wesley's house, you know, we get some classic '80s movie nudity because
you got to have some topless in any '80s movie that's rated R. We get
a little bit of that, but there's really no other point to this scene.
I guess it's just driving home again that, you know, if nothing else, Wesley is
a terrible neighbor. He is not— he's an annoying neighbor. Yeah, and this is quiet
farm country until Wesley with his big city ideas comes in and starts
making it rowdy. And his jacuzzi, the goddamn jacuzzi.
Like, we get, uh, we get kind of like a boring visit
from the server Carrie-Anne, who's there to— yeah, and she's
obviously like, I mean, you know, everyone who sees Dalton,
he's legendary. But then, you know, he's walking around with his clothes off and
everything, she's just like, she bought him a very greasy breakfast sandwich
and a coffee. You know, she doesn't want the sandwich, she just wants the black
coffee. But I will say, like, we do get a lot of Patrick Swayze butt
in this movie, so if you're down with Patrick Swayze butt, there's plenty of it.
It's a great place for it. There is a little bit of Kelly Lynch butt
later, which kind of balances things out a little bit. But yeah, like, uh,
a lot of that going on. And yeah, Carrie-Anne is like— she basically swoons.
And the way that she looks at him reminded me of—
do you remember that Saturday Night Live sketch, uh, Schmitz Gay,
that was Adam Sandler and Chris Farley? And the way they go, whoa, like lift
their sunglasses up. Like, she's looking at him just like that. Just amazing.
She couldn't handle it. Yeah, I mean, if he did like brush her
knee by accident, she, she would lose it.
I don't know if she'd know what to do. Yeah, absolutely. There would be a
pool party. Um, so we get it, we get a Brad
Wesley action here, and he's driving in a very sick,
like, red Mustang 5.0 convertible, and it's like,
life is but a dream, like playing this, you know,
old-timey music, and he is swerving like all through the lanes.
He's the only car on the road, but he is swerving around like an asshole.
Yep. And as Dalton, you know, Dalton's driving by and almost hits
him, like Wesley's not trying to get out of his way. So it's a good
demonstration of like How do we say this guy owns the town
without having a character say this guy owns the town? We need to take
a second because at this point we've now had 3 separate moments with Brad Wesley,
and I want to recap everything we know about him so far. Let's Wes it
up. He arrives at his palatial estate in a helicopter that scares a
bunch of horses. Yep. He throws a pool party in the middle of the night,
and he drives all over both sides of the road. That's it. That's all we
know about— about— Hell of a guy. Brad Wesley at this point. But it's like,
they're just doing all these little things. Like you said, you don't want to tell
people, oh, this is the evil guy that like runs the town. We need to
like show it, you know, which I do appreciate. It's a movie. It's a show,
not tell medium, but also it's a little like ham-fisted. And,
you know, also he's always wearing one of those like Panama hats.
Yeah. Which is always a bad guy hat. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a—
Panama, like, yeah, exactly. It's the drug dealer that James Bond
has to foil or whatever. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Goldfinger wears one at some point.
Yeah. Yeah. It's another bad guy trait for good old Brad Wesley.
Um, so Emmett— there's a quick scene where Emmett like discovers Dalton's
Benz like hiding under here, realizes, oh, this guy isn't all he's
cracked up to be. He looks outside and sees Dalton doing a lot of
like oiled-up shirtless tai chi out by the riverbank.
Yeah, before that though, we actually go— but Dalton goes to Red's Auto Shop.
We meet Red. Oh yeah, who runs the auto parts store in town.
Um, Dalton needs, you know, a new antenna and I think it's something else or
whatever that he needs to order. To start repairing parts of his car that have
been destroyed. And I think it's either like as Dalton leaves or after Dalton leaves,
Brad shows up. We get a little more Brad Wesley with Jimmy. And this is
the first time we're seeing his like right-hand man, Jimmy, who for
a second I thought was the— I don't know if you ever watched the show
Billions, but there's this like therapist guy who's like this Zen or
sort of like Japanese-inspired samurai guy who's like a performance coach.
And I thought for sure, I'm like, is that the same guy? But the timing
doesn't work out. The guy would have been much older and it's not him,
but he looks a lot like him. Uh, and Jimmy is, you know,
just a badass. We're just clear where it's— he's a bad— now this is a
classic, like, square-jawed '80s asshole-looking guy with an actual mullet,
like much more than Dalton. Very much a real mullet. Yeah, I mean, he'd,
he'd have a place on any, like, hockey team of that era.
The Vandals sang about him. And,
and he has, like, the rage of that '80s guy who's like, I should have
been Joe Piscopo's stunt double, but Joe Piscopo
didn't need a stunt double, and now I'm just a henchman, and it sucks.
Uh, but yeah, Jimmy, very intimidating. He's a guy who will come do karate on
your whole store if you don't pay up. Yeah. And so they're extorting like,
you know, 10% of everyone's money or whatever.
Which again, we should pause for just a second and recognize that Brad Wesley
apparently got rich by keeping— by having a protection racket on
the town of Jasper, Missouri. So apparently taking 10% of everything
earned by literally every business in town. I'm still imagining that's
like maybe $1,000 a month. Like, why? Why is this something that makes him rich?
Like, yeah, I don't understand it. It doesn't make any sense. He's got to be
skimming off. There has to be some— or, you know, maybe Brad Wesley inherited
all this money, but he has a story to make it sound like he's earning
it. And his idea was, hey, I take 10% of it. Because yeah,
he's not making helicopter money taking 10% of a fucking auto parts
store. Yeah, no, it's not. It's very interesting. So then we get the part where,
yeah, we're like, Red finds the, uh, or not Red, uh, Emmett finds the Mercedes
and like sees, uh, Dalton out there doing tai chi. And I gotta be
honest with you, the way Emmett looks at Dalton doing tai chi is exactly
the way Carrie-Anne looked at Dalton's butt when he was naked. Like, there is a
lust in this And the way Tillman looks at Dalton when he
does a good job, I think he's that, uh, you know, he's just the guy
everyone's falling in love with him. It's basically Dalton is responsible
for bringing pansexuality to Jasper, Missouri. That's like,
he is literally the guy for everyone.
Doesn't even matter. All the latency is coming out.
Oh my God. Yeah, so now Dalton's back at the Double Deuce, and in
the office he sees that this bartender that he had he had fired, right,
is back. And he's like, I'll be working here again. And it turns out he
is Brad Wesley's nephew. Yes. And he's got a couple of the henchmen with him,
one really tall, like almost 7-foot guy. Crazy. And then one perfect—
they did a great job of like, all right, we don't want people to have
to remember faces, so we got, we got tall guy, we got very fat
guy, we got, you know, normal-ish guy. Yeah, sunglasses guy. That's true.
It's like ice hockey on Nintendo. They have the different body types that you could
choose from. Uh, so this quickly turns into a fight because Dalton's like, oh,
you can't hire this guy back, he's stealing you.
And, uh, and this guy pulls out an insane, like,
Rambo knife. Yeah, combat knife. Enormous. It's like,
uh, yeah, I mean, it's, it looks like something out of Predator, like it's a
half machete. Yeah, it's huge. So, you know, we get people getting chucked through windows
and some more fights, and Dalton, uh, was stabbed again. Yeah, and this is
not a self-surgery situation. He's got to go to the hospital. He's slashed pretty badly,
like, along his ribs, sort of. Yeah, that's going to be a difficult place to
reach because you're only going to have, like, one hand. And it looks like too
It was like on his right side. He's probably, I think he's right-handed based on
how he sewed up, you know, his left arm, whatever. And so I could see
where it's like, yeah, he's not gonna try to tackle it himself. So he's bleeding
all over everything, but does decide to go to the hospital. And this is where
we meet the love interest of the movie, Dr. Elizabeth Clay, played by Kelly Lynch.
She's the one who comes in to help him. He literally carries his
like HIPAA, you know, like medical records around
with him everywhere because, you know, it comes in handy, he says, like that's
the thing. And, you know, she's like, she makes a comment about,
about, uh, oh, that's a pretty good job on that scar, you know, or whatever.
Like, there's the recent arm scar. The gun— she goes, thank you. And she goes,
you did that yourself? He's like, yeah. And then she offers him pain medication.
He goes, it's gonna hurt. And he goes, pain don't hurt. And it's like,
this is— to me, like, I love this line, but it also always is like,
God, this is such a second-tier line to Jesse Ventura in Predator saying,
I ain't got time to bleed. Yeah. Like, that's such a better way of basically
saying the same thing, you know what I mean? And that's just the screenwriters,
I think, the skill there, you know.
The doctor— Dalton makes a comment that he works at the Double Deuce,
and the doctor says, oh, that place sends me a lot of business. All those
eyeballs get swept up. And then of course she gives him the, I thought you'd
be bigger, before you leave. So we haven't mentioned a trope throughout the film.
Tillman said it for sure. I think Carrie-Anne said it to him. Now Dr.
Clay has said it to him. So yeah, several people over the course of the
movie say, I thought you'd be bigger. Sam Elliott's character Wade Garrett even
makes a joke about Oh, but you thought he'd be bigger, you know, kind of
thing. Because he knows that people say that to him all the time. Yeah,
exactly. So, you know, the legend, he's got to be
bigger. Now we see one of my favorite— Yeah, yeah. Sorry, on the hospital thing,
there is no world in which the MD is doing that sewing job or
that stapling job. That is— there's just no way. That is a nurse is doing
that job. Like, male or female, I don't care. But like, there's just no way
the doctor— the doctor would come in, check you, go, yep, you need staples.
Maybe here's a prescription for pain meds and I'm gone. Like, there's no way the
doctor— when a nurse was in there, like, prepping the area or whatever, ever.
Somebody that hot though, let's say the doctor's not busy,
she's like, I'd love a chance to stitch that boy. She is single, he is
age appropriate. Yeah, yeah, I mean, okay, all right, maybe. But yeah, normally no,
no MD is doing that staple job. Um, so we're back
at Brad Wesley's place and, and up to his driveway pulls
the most insane fucking monster truck. And this is not a
lifted Ford F-350, this is a Bigfoot,
like when you go to see Monster Jam monster truck. It It
makes Bigfoot look like a lifted 350. Like, it really is.
When these guys hop out of it— The tires are 6 feet tall. Like,
they're in diameter, probably. Right. And when the guys hop out of it, I'm looking
at it going, they're not taking steps down onto a ladder and then hopping
down. They're jumping down from the actual floorboard. So how the hell are they getting
up? Yeah. Because, I mean, do they have a rope ladder? Like, how does this
work? It's crazy. They parkour up the tire and the side of the truck.
And stuff. Spider-Man action. Um, it's so funny, like,
one of the details of the movie that I think pushes it, yes, like,
towards greatness for me is just like, there was no
reason to do that, and someone was just like, but what if we got a
monster truck? Because it comes into play, it comes into play big time later.
But yes, it wasn't like, it's not necessarily the
plot. There's other things you could do. We saw, you know, um, so Brad
Wesley is making his henchmen apologize basically because,
well, you're supposed to get my nephew his job back. Like, he he's the weakling.
Very casino-like, where there's the guy's— the gaming commissioner's
nephew that works at the casino and he's a fuck-up, or sort of Fredo.
Like, this is the Fredo of the family. Totally. And Brad Wesley,
you know, is kind of, who's gonna apologize to me? And one guy says sorry,
and he's like, okay, well, I believe you. And then the other guy— so he's
like smacking a guy around and punching him in the face. This is when he's
like, you know, I don't like you, O'Connor, you're a bleeder. Yeah, you bleed too
easy. And he's like punching him. And again, this is really not
believable with him as a tough guy. Although it's just like,
well, because I have control of my other bodyguards is why I can
beat anyone up, because no one's allowed to strike back. So exactly, it's good for
you. It's the boss thing again. Don Herrera in Commando,
it's the wussy boss that's got the henchmen, that therefore he's untouchable,
or yeah, you know, feels like he is. But like, really? Or Victor Maitland
in Beverly Hills Cop, like all these sort of like big boss guys of the
era a lot of times are sort of wimps, and they're just like, you know,
as in a stark contrast with, uh, uh, Hans Gruber
in Die Hard, who's actually a badass, right? Like, you know, fight and shoot stuff.
Yes, exactly. He'll take it, you know, actual matters into his own hands. Yeah,
these guys, they just got their henchmen to do everything for them. Uh,
so Dalton, now I think he goes into Red's,
uh, auto parts store to find it all kind of fucked up,
right? There's stuff everywhere. And Red, you know, has a beef with Brad
Wesley. Obviously, uh, he hates that Brad Wesley
makes him stock monster truck tires, which take up like the entire back room of
his store. Uh, he, he tells, he tells Dalton that
Brad Wesley has this thing called the Jasper Improvement Society. Yeah,
where they— that's how they extort the businesses. So that's like, we're taking a percent
off the top, and it's a fuck-you-pay-me type situation.
And masquerading as a Chamber of Commerce kind of idea. Yeah, yeah.
Why is Dalton wearing a karate gi tucked into his jeans in the scene?
That is an interesting choice, but that shirt is ridiculous looking.
You know what I would love in this film is like a walk— first of
all, a walk around the finished hayloft that he lives in, but I want to
pan to his closet to see what is he choosing from. Like, what are
his options every day? Because it is wild as shit, the stuff that he has.
This gi shirt does come back later in the movie, but like, I don't think
we see the white linen pants that we saw at the beginning again. Like,
I think it's a lot of jeans. Yeah, for the most part. You know,
maybe that's because he was in like Miami or LA or somewhere cosmopolitan,
and now he's in Jasper, Missouri, so it's a blue jeans kind of place.
Maybe that's his, uh, blue collar wardrobe. Still doesn't
explain the gi. Uh, we kind of flash over to our buddy
Sam Elliott. Oh, I love Wade Garrett. Wade Garrett, so cool.
Goddamn, it is really great to see him. And it's Sam Elliott,
like, it shows what a good actor he is because he is not relying on
his mustache. Yeah, great beard on Sam Elliott, even though
it's that scruffy kind of thing. It just works for him. The long hair,
like Like, Sam Elliott has never looked cooler in this movie, and yet whenever
else he's looked awesome, it's very different. Like in Tombstone or Big
Lebowski, where he also looks cool, it's a very different kind of cool. This is
like rough-and-tumble Sam Elliott. Yeah, it's a really good Sam Elliott.
Yeah, yeah. And, uh, he's working at some kind
of strip club that's like, um, patronized by military guys,
and he's keeping the troops like off the titties and doing a good job,
and it seems like everyone likes him. But is that lucrative? Like, if you're the
best, is that your job? It's not a strip club, I don't think. So it's
It's interesting 'cause there's a big banner up that says wet t-shirt
contest. Oh, that's what it was. Right? But the wet t-shirt contest part is crossed
out and then written in like pen or something. It says G-string contest.
So it's like they were gonna do a wet t-shirt contest but decided, yeah,
let's just skip that part and just have topless women in G-strings up here that
guys can like vote on or whatever. They all had little like numbers attached to
their G-strings to like, you know, that's their contestant number or whatever.
But yeah, a couple of like army guys try to get up onto the stage
and he's gotta calm 'em down. But apparently that's how Wade Garrett improves a place
is by turning the wet t-shirt contest into the G-string contest. Upgrade from Garrett's perspective.
Wade's got a lot of good ideas for us, but he
knows about Dalton and Jasper. I heard you're up there in Jasper, and it's like,
why? How? So yeah, this is a good side
movie, is like when these people are all off work and they're having conversations
and finding out about famous coolers and what they look like and stuff. Like,
when does that happen? Yeah, I mean, look, pre-internet,
post-carrier pigeon. So what the fuck is going on? Like, what kind of like hotline
are these people dialing into to figure out what's going on? I don't know,
man. Uh, so the,
the blonde kind of bimbo looking girl is really like up on Dalton.
Her name's Denise, Denise, I think. Do we know yet? But she's, she's Brad's
girlfriend, but I don't think we know that yet. But yeah, yeah, because Brad hasn't—
he's not been in the double dudes. That's right, not yet. That's right. So,
uh, so Brad's henchmen show up to the bar,
and I think they're there to like get her because, oh, she's been spending too
much time, we don't want her near this guy, or just to rough— I think
you have to rough Yeah, the assholes. And Dalton, with his amazing like
super bouncer vision, immediately clocks one guy has like a blade
sticking out of the toe of his boot, and he's just like, right boot,
and points to a guy who's been training for 3 and a half days.
And the guy's like, got it. They have this like Secret Service level
of like discipline. Well, and also like that particular bouncer
guy is 150 pounds overweight. I'm not really sure I'm sending that guy against
the guy with the boot knife. Maybe somebody a little more agile who's a little
bit of a smaller target might be a better choice. Choice for knife boot guy.
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot to kick with that guy. Yep,
uh, big fight. But again, another big melee, uh, they take
him down. Tillman, ultra creepy satisfied look,
maybe one of his creepiest of the film. Uh, but it's crazy,
like, this, uh, Dalton has turned this ragtag bunch
of shitty bouncers into a world-class wrecking crew. And now we have classier people
coming to the bar. Even the hot doctor shows up.
Elizabeth That's right. Who I just wrote hot doctor. Like I told you before,
I— this character stinks. I get nothing from her. She's not,
not interesting enough. She has a weird moral compass that comes in later where it's
like, you know, self-defense doesn't matter to her apparently. Like, but one
of the things that's happening here is I think this is maybe the first scene
or maybe it's the second, but like every so often this portion of the movie,
every time we go to the Double Deuce, it looks a little nicer. There's been
some upgrade. There's been like new neon signs or they took the chicken wire off
of the stage and like upgraded this. So when Tillman said, oh, I came into
some money and I want to like spruce the place up, he's actually doing that.
And the place is looking like kind of nicer and nicer and less like a
honky-tonk. There's no more sawdust on the floor. Yep. You know, stuff like that.
So this is when we really start seeing that there's some improvements to the location
itself. Yeah. And of course Dalton's car was destroyed
once again. Yes. And this time has like a full stop sign just jammed through
the window sticking out of the— Exactly. The passenger side window.
Wesley, Brad Wesley wants to see Dalton. Yes. And,
uh, and he gets, you know, his men come to pick up Dalton,
goes to Wesley's house. Wesley's house is fucking crazy. We have
seen some crazy dwellings. Yes. Uh, in recent films,
it's really, it's really nice. Wesley has this room that's
this huge, like, open room, and there are two pool tables,
right? And just animal heads everywhere. Heads and
bodies of animals. Like, the entire house is full of, like, trophies from his— he
calls it his trophy room, but it's actually an entire floor of the home.
Like, it's enormous. This. Also, when Dalton first shows up here, we see Denise,
Brad's girlfriend who came to the bar with her. She's doing like a Jazzercise sort
of workout or whatever, but she's also been completely hammered up.
Like, she got a black eye, her neck is all bruised up like she's been
choked. Like, she is all fucked up. And so Dalton goes to talk
to Wesley, and before he can, Brad's got
to yell at Denise like, turn that shit off! Like, the music. Yeah, it's got
no soul. I can't listen to that. Whatever. This is when Brad makes the most
ridiculous I'm a big man speech of any movie ever.
And you may have all of it, but the important part— I don't have all
of it, but the important part is that JCPenney is coming here because of me.
Ask anyone and they'll tell you. Whoa, man.
JC fucking— not, not Mervyn's.
JCPenney, dude. Oh, not Emporium Capwell. Yeah,
not, not, not, no, not Montgomery Ward. JCPenney. Oh,
so all the people in town won't have to drive so far to buy M&M
sweatshirts. What the fuck? Yeah, that's the
funniest thing because it's like you have a heli— you had me at
helicopter. You had me at like,
you don't have to fucking talk about the— he talks about the 7-Eleven. There wouldn't
be a Wetzel's Pretzels if it weren't for me. There wouldn't be an Orange Julius
if it weren't for me. Go ask Auntie Anne, it's all because of me.
So he's just great.
Uh, yeah, so Wesley is just this big mogul and, you know, he makes everything
happen in town. Yes, exactly. And, uh, and one thing that he discloses
to Dalton, because he, he doesn't expect to woo him with his charm or with
money or whatever, he has information against Dalton. He knows that Dalton
killed a man in Memphis, so he kind of discloses that to Dalton at that
point. And he says to Dalton, like, you know, like, this case was dismissed or
whatever off of self-defense, he says, but you and I both know that's not true.
Which is kind of like, not really. It sounds like he got a gun pulled
on him and he, and he defended himself, because later he and Wade talk about
it and it's like like, yeah, it was defense, it was self-defense. He had a
gun pulled on him, he defended himself. Like, what is he supposed to do?
Yeah, let himself get shot? That's like— I don't think that's required by the
law. No. Um, but yeah, so, but there's a little— there's definitely the thing.
And then Dalton basically tells Wesley to fuck himself. Yeah, so Wesley says
like, how much to work for you? And Dalton's like, no amount of money.
So, um, yeah, so we've got— we've got the double deuce getting nicer.
Um, at this point we see somebody who made me very excited.
Okay, but just, you know, not in it much. We see
Keith David. Oh, that's right, working as a bartender.
Yeah. And all he says is, I think we're out of whiskey.
Like, he has no lines in this movie. So Keith David,
very brief. And you know what's funny is I remember seeing Keith David in the
credits. Yeah. When the movie started, and then realized I never once noticed where he
was. Okay, so very brief here. He's one of the bartenders at the Double Deuce.
Nice. Now I looked into this because I was like astonished.
Like, this isn't Keith David too early, too late.
Keith David prime— I'm sorry— yeah, has been going on since The Thing and
continues to this day. Absolutely. And I was like, well, what happened
in this? Because he is early in the credits at the beginning of the film.
And I looked it up and I found some guy who had written out,
you know, like a theory, or like what he'd heard buzz of, or whatever that
makes sense to me, is that originally Keith David's character was supposed
to be bigger, and a lot of it ended up getting cut out. Out.
It might have been something where the owner, where Tillman, was like, I'm gonna hire
the best cooler, and then I'm gonna hire the best bartender, and Keith David's like
the best bartender guy. I would have loved Keith David
and Swayze hanging out in this movie more than Swayze having like a love
interest with the doctor. I think it would have been way more interesting for
Sam Elliott, Keith David, and Swayze running the fucking
bar, and then Tillman just
jacked up in his little office. It would be so turgid at that point.
He would be hard as a rock. But yeah, like, definitely,
yeah, I'm with you, man. That— to tease you with Keith David, it's like this
just had like a LaCroix essence of Keith David,
and I want a full can of Kern's Keith David nectar, you know?
It's like somebody whispered, "How'd you get the frank about the beans?" from off screen,
and that's how we know Keith David was around. Yeah.
And then I, I wrote, uh, uh, oh no, so yeah, so then we get
the doc shows back up and basically we're He wants to take Dalton out.
They drive off to his place and whatever, and it's time to do the bone
zone between the two of them. But they, he's stalking
her around his apartment. Like, it's kind of crazy. Like, you know,
it's not like she doesn't, I mean, she seems interested, but she also doesn't seem
fully on board. Like, I'm not saying he took advantage of her, but I am
saying she appeared to have needed to be convinced to,
you know, let him enter her, which is gross. But like, this is exactly the
kind of fucking scene it is. It's not sexy. It's not, there's no love.
There's no, There's barely any lust.
It's just like, well, I'm a man, you're a woman, we're standing in the same
room, let's fuck. And it's like, okay, I guess 1989,
I guess. Like, what the fuck? And it was kind of long. Like, it wasn't
like I wrote here, like the long humping scene could have been more Keith
David. Like, it really just, it should have been Keith David. Not in that scene,
but just instead of. Actually, if that scene, you know what, if there was a
scene of just Keith David watching that happen, I would watch just Keith David.
Well, speaking of watching it happen, after they bang up against a cobblestone wall,
by the way, which must have felt great on the doctor's back. Uh,
Brad Wesley is just across the fucking riverway, like, watching them bang
out on the little, like, like, awning or whatever they do out. They do us
bang a second time out there. He's just watching, and like, it doesn't— it doesn't
look like innocent. If I was Dalton, I would do all my shit on
the other side of the house. Yeah, like, out of Wesley's viewpoint.
It's just, you don't need to be— you don't need to be attracting that kind
of attention. Um, and, and the, um— so Dalton
is talking to the guitar, so So the house band at
the Double Deuce has been this great blues rock band with a blind slide
guitar player who's named Jeff Healey. He's a well-known musician
in that circle. He's good in this. I like him in this movie. And he's
kind of someone who's known Dalton for a while too. So he might have come
on as part of this best cooler, let's get a new band, unless they were
already the house band. I think he was already there. The character's name is Cody.
And when Dalton first arrives, he says hi to the bandmates.
And they kind of are like— but he's like, you know, shh. And he kind
of sneaks up on Cody and is like, oh, man. And Cody's telling him,
"This place is worse than the place we were at together in," like, I don't
know if he says Memphis or another city or whatever, or no, outside of when
we were at that place, we were out in Ohio. "This place is even worse
than that." Dayton, I think he says. And so it's clear that like they've just
crossed paths before. Like apparently Cody's band is a traveling bar
band that does like, you know, residencies in little tiny
honky-tonks around the Midwest. And Dalton has done his fair share of cooling,
like in the same area. Maybe he's the one who told about Dalton being a
cooler. That's a good point, actually. It could have come from him. That does work.
Doesn't explain why Wade knows everything too. No, but it does
at least make sense why Tillman might know. Yeah, that's true. Uh, and so
he, he knows a lot of stuff, and he's buds with Dalton. And what he
says is that Brad Wesley used to be in love with Elizabeth. That's right.
So he's kind of like, watch out, dropping that. Yeah.
Um, this is when Wade arrives, I believe. Yes, yes, Wade Garrett arrives.
Right before Wade arrives though, uh, there's a delivery of booze to the back,
uh, to the back of the Double Deuce. And so Dalton goes back there to
help unload it, and a bunch of Brad Wesley's men show up to like
interrupt that, disrupt it. You know, they start beating up on both Dalton
and the one other staff member who's out there trying to unload some and destroying,
you know, cases full of liquor, like throwing them off the thing just to try
to like fuck it all up. And that's when Wade comes back, and Dalton's being
held up by one of the guys like against a post or
whatever and just being wailed on. And that's when Garrett comes out and like,
you know, starts his own sort of— gets involved and starts fighting.
And the two of them are doing their karate and doing all their stuff,
and it's Fantastic. It's just a lot of fun. There's so much good karate in
this. And, uh, Wade's— his like casual approach when he
comes out and he sees Dalton just getting pinned down and beaten up, and he's
like, you okay there, mijo? Like, he just— he calls him mijo
all the time. He just, uh, yeah. So it's great to see the boys
team up. I mean, it really like pro wrestling
energy of seeing like the team of underdogs— we're getting beat up. Oh no,
now we're not getting beat Yeah, uh, very enjoyable. So this
is absolutely like, you know, like Hulk Hogan fighting against Randy
Macho Man Savage, and then the Ultimate Warrior comes out and you're like, oh no,
Hogan's in trouble now. Like, exactly. Um,
so Dalton and Wade, they got some catching up to do, and there's a little
bros night out. But Dalton says first, hey, I wanna— I want you to meet
someone. Yeah. And they pick up Elizabeth from the hospital and they go out and
they're out drinking all night. And, uh, and this
is when we see more time— this is when we see more of Sam Elliott
than I ever needed to to. He shows her a scar he's particularly proud of
and basically flashes full-on pubes at us. And she says, oh,
is that from a woman? And he goes, like, it was with her high heel
or something like that. And it's like, oh my God. Then they go to a
diner. His pube mustache. I gotta show one of them. He— they go to a
diner and they're hanging out and he and Elizabeth are dancing to the jukebox.
But I'm like, who dances in a diner? This is weird, man. It's such a
movie thing, slow dancing to the jukebox. And right over their shoulders the entire time—
and I talked about this in the Fast Times at Ridgemont High episode
I love— we love Jeff Spicoli's Colt.45 t-shirt. The Colt.45 neon sign
that's behind them during the slow dance is absolutely chef's kiss. I love it.
It's also in The Double Deuce. That exact same Colt.45
neon sign is in The Double Deuce after it's been upgraded a few times.
So I don't know if it's like at this point in the movie, I think
we'd seen it once, but you see it a little more later. It's like the
same style. Okay, props department, big deal, big deal on
the Colt.45. Um, but yeah, and so now— and then so they, they hang out
for a while and Elizabeth's got to go to work in a few hours,
which is like, yeah, you're a fucking doctor stapling people's wounds shut,
you probably should get some sleep. Um, but they go— the next scene, we're back
at the Deuce. Um, but Red's place is like on fire. People start
running in like, oh, there's a fire, there's a fire! And a full-on— like,
first of all, Dalton sprints towards the fire. The fire department's there, the firefighters
are there, but he is sprinting towards the building that's on fire until it actually—
something inside, because of course there's a bunch of probably fuel and different stuff that's
very, very flammable— explodes. Uh, and luckily we see Red
was not there. Red drives up in his truck and is okay. Okay, but yeah,
it's a little bit like, what were you gonna do? Like, why, you know,
running into a burning building is not a good idea even if you think you're
a hero. He— yeah, he went in without thinking of anything. It was nice.
He was very nimble, like coming through the steps. He was almost like parkouring his
way in there. I, I like some, uh, Dalton heroism
there. Yeah. Um, so let's see,
we are, uh, we get a striptease from Denise next. Okay, right.
Yeah, so, so Brad Wesley and Denise niece are at the Double
Deuce, and they're kind of just like, hey, you know, he's being the big
man there even though it's not his place. He's acting like it's his place.
And she gets up on stage with the band. Very good striptease scene. I enjoy
this scene. She looks fantastic. And of course Dalton's like,
oh no, you can't do this, you can't do this, we don't have that kind
of license. Yeah, uh, so this is the time for the showdown
between Dalton and the other bartenders and Jimmy. Yeah, uh,
who's our previous mulleted, uh, shithead and he comes
out, he's got a shark tooth necklace and a Canadian tuxedo on,
and he grabs a pool cue and he starts doing all this Donatello shit to
show off. I love a scene where the guy has to like show off all
his little weapon tricks first before engaging. Napoleon Dynamite
level bo staff skills, like that's like really impressive, really just fantastic.
But yeah, so but then they sort of fight, he's knocking out the guy's stat—
you know, you know, you can jam them in the gut, you can smack him
in the face. That's the great thing about like a long stick you're fighting with,
um, Brad's men basically just fuck up the entire place. Like,
the whole place just gets absolutely messed up yet again.
Um, and then Jimmy and Wade start really fighting. I mean, that's the
way Wade sort of steps in, and the two of them— it's a good fight
between Jimmy and Wade. Yeah, no, I like seeing Sam Elliott like really getting
his hands dirty. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And the thing about fighting someone with
a long stick is you got to be careful because if you break it in
half, it can become two deadlier weapons. That's right. Much, much more
agile. Um, so this— we don't really get the,
the conclusion of this fight because Brad Wesley shoots his gun in the air.
That's enough. Yeah, but not, not until after Jimmy tells Dalton,
"Your ass is mine, boy," which comes back later. A lot of homoeroticism.
Jimmy is— yeah, Jimmy, Jimmy's got— he might be watching the tai chi with
binoculars. Oh, hell yeah, he's peeping. Um, but yeah, then we, uh,
I think the next thing we get, we go to Red's house and we actually—
we have Dalton visiting Red at his home because it's, of course, Dalton Red's place
is blown up and, you know, he's like, are you gonna rebuild? Or he's like,
nah, man, fuck this thing, I'm not gonna even bother, you know, rebuilding or whatever,
this is crazy. But the kind of key of this scene is that Dalton notices
a picture of Dr. Clay, Elizabeth, on Red's wall or on the mantle,
something like that. So he now sees there's a connection, uh, between Elizabeth and Red
that he'll later, uh, check into. Yeah, um, nothing really
else important in that scene, but, but there's some of the other townsfolks who are
there kind of helping Red. So we see like the car dealer ownership dealership.
And, you know, some of those, uh, people in Emmett and these people are just
kind of like coming around. Well, and it's sort of starting to talk about,
yeah, like, we should be fighting back against Wesley. Yeah, this is getting out of
hand, you know, and everything. And Red's very resigned, like, fuck this, man. Like,
I don't have anything left. Yeah, exactly. I'm not fighting back. And then we cut,
because we just met the Ford dealer guy— I don't know his last name,
they say it— but we cut to his dealership the next day, and there's a
shit ton of people at this car dealership. One thing I'm not really sure why
there are so many people at a car dealership outside of like a grand opening,
but that's not what it is. But Wesley and his men are there with the
monster truck and full-on just drive right through the showroom,
destroying the glass walls, crushing cars, like all station
wagons. God, yeah, he flattens a ton of station wagons,
dude. It was very satisfying. I mean, I, uh, I love a monster
truck crushing stuff. It's very nice. Monster Jam.
Um, so, uh, Uh, yeah, so that's,
that's happening. Wade is kind of like, he's done.
Like, he's ready to move on and leave town. Yeah, Wade's like, this was a
nice season, I'm out of here. Exactly. But like, I just real quick, I was
going to about the car dealership thing. Like, there's a bunch of people who are
like, oh no, like the townspeople. But then all of Brad West's guys are cheering
like they just won a soccer match. Like, it is really wild. And also
the number of just shitty, crappy looking gas station aviator
glasses in this movie. Like, in this scene in particular everybody from Swayze to Jimmy
to the O'Connor, the big guy, like they're all wearing just awful sunglasses
that look terrible and look cheap as hell. I always thought that was kind of
strange. Um, but yeah, yeah. Um,
so Wade, Wade is leaving town. Yeah, he's done with this.
He's coming to Dalton's place. Yeah, yeah, he's like, there's too much for us,
me. Oh, and Dalton's pissed, and Dalton's doing like— he has all this kind
of like homemade boxing gym equipment that he's strung up. Rocky IV in Siberia,
baby. He is Rocky IV in nice weather here.
And so Dalton's pissed off, and then we see that Emmett's house—
yeah, explodes. Yep. But yeah, because they— well, the doctor— I think Wade left,
but the doc arrived, I think is exactly what happened. Yeah, because then— yeah,
that's it. Literally blows up, and they go in there, and, and,
well, it's caught— catches— they hear an explosion sort of thing. The house is not
blown up yet, it's just on fire. He's able to rush in and get Emmett.
This is where Dalton runs in again, shirtless, into a fire. Emmett's wearing the,
like, you know, red Santa Claus Claus pajamas
or whatever, the like long johns, uh, like, like the adult onesies. Uh,
but yeah, like, he is able to drag him out, and Emmett's okay, thank God.
Like, I always feel like they could have killed Emmett here. Yeah,
right, really, they could have, and they don't. And I'm like, I think that's actually
better. I'm glad they didn't kill Emmett, but like, that could have worked. But this
is just, you know— and then this is the thing I thought, we see Jimmy—
well, so first of all, if they were trying to get to
Dalton, like, I can't tell if this is still— if this is like the car
dealership thing where they want to fuck with Emmett in particular because he wants to
stand up against Wesley, or if they're going for Dalton,
trying to get him by hurting Emmett. Yeah, the people he cares about.
Because if that were the case, why don't they just blow up Dalton's barn?
He was able to blow up the house like 200 feet away. Why don't you
just blow up the barn and take Dalton out? Your problems would be over if
you're Brad Wesley. But regardless, we see Jimmy on a four-wheeler sort of like driving
away from the back of Emmett's house where he clearly placed whatever bomb
went off. Oh, Jimmy's not on a four-wheeler. What is he on? Jimmy is on
a dirt bike. Oh, it's a dirt bike. Vehicle of crime. I got,
I got the three-wheeler. Brad Wesley with the three-wheeler, that thing is sick. And didn't
we talk in an earlier episode about rich people just love to drive around on
little vehicles? Brad Wesley, golf carts, to do it, dude. Four-wheelers, three-wheelers, absolutely.
But this is— so then Dalton sees like the way Jimmy's coming, he has to
drive sort of past where they are. Yeah. And so Dalton's able to do this
flying dive and just tackle Jimmy off the dirt bike. Pro Bowl
special teamer level angle that he took there. That was unbelievable.
Yeah, that— yeah, he was intercepting that route like nobody did.
So good.
We get a dirt bike tackle and then they both pop up and have a
very spin kick forward fight. There's so much— so many spin kicks,
which they are. I mean, look, I've played Street Fighter 2.
That's the heavy button. Yeah, the spin kick is the heavy button. So that's like
the harder kick. We all know that. It is, it is. Uh, we get Jimmy,
uh, you know, at certain points of the fight, the, the advantage is shifting back
and forth. And Jimmy, one of the things he says to Dalton is is,
uh, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. Which— brag?
I mean, look, is that a boast? I think it must be. Clearly Jimmy
feels it is. Well, everyone in town loves him, so maybe he's
like, hey, everyone in town said that you would be the number one guy to
fuck, and I in fact used to fuck guys like you, so that makes me
cool. Actually, I guess it is an odd fucking thing to say.
And, and combined with the your ass is mine boy from earlier,
it's like, I mean, Jimmy just wants to have sex with all of them,
clearly. And look, there's nothing wrong with that outside of you shouldn't probably be
beating up the person you want to have sex with. You probably should be wining
and dining them, you know. But that's why Dalton's so greased up all the time,
because people are always trying to hop on. He needs them to slide off of
him. Um, so, you know, towards the end of this fight where it seems like,
okay, I've won a fair fight or whatever,
and Jimmy pulls out a gun and Dalton rips his damn
throat out. Rips the throat straight. Beautiful throat
rip. And then plops him into the river. Yep. And this is when the doc
runs up and Dalton's still holding flesh
in his hand and has to like throw it to the ground. But like the
doc notices, runs over, sees, and like, I love, you can see the like hole
that's been ripped into Jimmy's throat. It looks awesome. But she is not okay
with this. She is so like put off by this. She's so angry about this.
I even get her running to do like lifesaving care. Oh yeah,
yeah, she's a doctor. Hippocratic oath. But how she also should
have just been like, wah wah, oh well.
Yeah, dude blew up Emmett's house,
fighting with Dalton, which I guess Dalton kind of started the fight. He tackled Jimmy.
So Dalton starts the fight, but the fight is going back and forth. It is
an even fight. Then he pulls a gun to kill Dalton, and Dalton defends
himself and kills Jimmy. Like, I don't see why from a moral standpoint
this needs to be something that Dalton should be like ashamed of or whatever.
Like, I get that like legally you still— it's still manslaughter. Like, there's no— but
it is self-defense. So like A lot of times that's all it takes for it
not to be a legal matter. And why is the doctor so— especially for the
person— If he shot him, it would have been fine. So she's more worried just
about the methodology of the kill. I guess. It's so weird. Maybe that's it.
Maybe she's just— maybe that's it. She's been falling for him. So she's just got
the ick from the fact that this is how he killed him. He didn't like
snap his neck or shoot him or do— he ripped his throat. Like, and here's
the thing, the throat is like not that big an area, I guess. You know,
it's sort of like, like, I guess he's like, how do you even grip the
esophagus? Yeah, from outside. I want to know like what exactly is he holding.
If we dissect what Dalton has in his hand at the end there, like what's
that look like? It's pretty wild. Great classic scene. And like I said before,
inspired MacGruber, one of my favorite movies of all time. The doctor is pissed.
Um, so Dalton goes to the Double Deuce now,
uh, and the phone rings and he picks it up immediately. It's Brad Wesley and
he says either Wade or Elizabeth dies. Yep.
Now, you know, you've killed my main protector guy.
This guy, I bought him so many custom pool cues that I don't
need now, so I'm gonna have to deal with that shit. Yeah, exactly.
So yeah, so Dalton's gonna— he's gonna try to save some folks,
right? But before he can— well, so, so, so we hear— we know that
Wesley like flips the coin, but we don't hear what it was. But he
says, I'd love to tell you what it was, Dalton, but I gotta go,
or whatever. Whatever. And so now Dalton's like, I don't know which one of them
is in trouble, but one of them is. But that's when Wade shows up to
the bar, right? And he's like been beat up, but he's also like clearly not
dead. And so he stumbles in, but you know, like, and he's like, there were
three of them, you know? So exactly. And Dalton's like, okay, this is enough.
We're, we're leaving. Like, we're getting out of town, dude. No more of this.
He wins. Like, Brad wins. We're gone. But just stay here. I gotta
go get Elizabeth because now I know she's in danger because you were alive.
So they're, they're obviously coming for her. "just stay here, okay? Don't go anywhere.
You know, have one beer, but don't like get drunk." Like, whatever, right? And so
then he goes to— hold on a second.
Does he go to— oh yeah, he goes to the hospital. He's looking at
X-rays. That's right. He goes in there and it's like, "We're going. We gotta go.
This is too dangerous." She's like, "I'm not going anywhere. Like, I live here.
I have a medical practice here. Like, I'm not going anywhere with you throat
ripper fuck off." Yeah, you just charmed me with your throat rip. So he,
"Okay, then if she's gonna stay, then fuck it. I can't do anything about that.
I'm gonna go." So he goes back to the dude juice. And that's when he
sees Wade, like, ostensibly looking like he's asleep on the bar. Yeah,
he's been stabbed in the chest. Yes, with a note that says,
"It was tails." Yes, which, like, we don't
know which one was tails. He didn't even say it was a coin toss.
It's— well, no, he did say it was a coin toss. I'm gonna flip a
coin. You can't tell us what— or you can't not tell us what it is,
heads or tails, and then be expecting us to— yeah, it was tails. Like,
I give a shit. Um, but I do like a dead body with a note
on it. Very— now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho. Yeah,
the knife just jammed into him. And when Dalton pulled the knife
out, man, he has this throat-ripping look in his eye. Well, he's also
just struggling. He's like, yeah, so like his friend got killed, but he's also
just like, oh, what am I gonna do to these fucking people? I didn't get
that vibe. I got that he was a guy who was never
grossed out by anything— is, is, um, not even
grossed out, but just like it's so visceral to have to pull a blade
from your friend's corpse, that that has got him near tears.
That's what it looked like to me. Not anger as much as like despair.
Well, he was already in like anger and vengeance mode. Well, that's true. So he
was kind of like— but yeah, I mean, there's probably a lot of that shit
because that's the only person that he seemed to have a real long-term relationship with.
Yeah, absolutely. This was— and, and a bit of a mentorship, so it's like a
brother but also a father figure maybe. Like, definitely. Yeah, like,
um, so Dalton, he's— okay, I'm coming for— coming for Brad
Wesley. Here we go, baby. It's the final act of Thief all over again.
Yeah. Yes, dude, 100%.
And, uh, we got Wesley's estate and Dalton's Mercedes is just full speed
going at him, and they end up shooting it and it flips over
and blows up. He's not in there. He had pushed— I know, forced the gas
pedal down but then stuck the knife into it to pin it. I think the
message— no, I think to pin it to the floorboard, like, because the knife through
the gas, uh, pedal and into the floorboard to keep it down.
To keep it down, I think is what it is. And it's the knife that
that killed Wade. And one of the henchmen takes it kind of right and puts
it into the sheath that clearly is for him. So we know the guy that
killed him. So great demonstration of Ghost Ride the Whip by Dalton
there. He really did a great Ghost Ride the Whip.
So now he's in the premises here, and this place is full of
like animal carcasses and heads and like glass tables.
So there's great stuff for guys to go crashing through. Yeah,
absolutely. One of the henchmen the big fat guy in suspenders
gets crushed by this like taxidermied polar bear. Dalton is like
standing behind it going like, ooga booga booga. It's like the guy thought it was
a real bear. And it's very weird. And at first it looks like it kills
him, which is like, that's amazing. But it really just knocks him out because he
like comes to a little bit later. Dalton's body count in this movie is zero
for so long, and then he kills Jimmy,
and in the next 15 minutes kills kills like 7 or 8 more people.
Yeah, he takes out a lot of dudes. It's like really ramps up very fast.
And it is surprising that the fat guy survives because, yeah, everyone else is,
is getting capped and thrown off stuff and thrown through stuff. Um,
Brad Wesley is coming after Dalton. They're in the trophy room.
Yes. So it is insanely cluttered with animal
heads and animal bodies, and then in the middle has this like white living
room set that seems like it would belong in like, uh,
Dana's apartment in Ghostbusters or
something. Like, it didn't fit. Like, put a jungle pattern or leather or something.
That— it was very odd. But Brad Wesley comes after Dalton, and Dalton's been injured
a little bit, so not a fair fight. And he has a spear, and he
goes to throw a spear at Dalton. Dalton dodges it, and the spear goes on
a perfect line for like 200 feet. It's clearly on a wire.
Yeah, it looks so bad. Oh my God.
So yeah, so they're fighting back and forth, and, uh, and, you know, basically they're
able to, you know, it looks like Dalton kind of gets the upper hand,
but then it's like Wesley's got another gun. So he's like pulling that until all
of a sudden there's a whole bunch more people in the room. Emmett's there,
Red is there. The guy who owns the car dealership is there.
There might even have been another kind of townsperson, you know, whatever kind of
thing, all these like business owners and they've all just got shotguns and they're all
just blowing Brad Wesley away and just kind of, you know,
taking their town back. Very satisfying. Very, very funny.
And then when they come out, cops show up, um, that's when,
uh— oh yeah, because Tillman's there as well. It's like, it's like all the crowd,
right? But then the cops show up, or sheriff or whatever. It's like, what happened
here? And everybody's like, I didn't see anything, I don't know. Like, there's like a
dead body riddled with shotguns, and none of them are holding their guns.
Red got rid of their guns. But like, still, there's just this— and then finally,
the other henchman who wakes up under the polar bear, they ask him, what about
you, you see anything? He goes, no. Yeah, we put an end to,
uh, to Brad Wesley's reign of terror because he owned the cops
and everything too. He owns the sheriff. Yep. So, uh, yeah, good ending
there. Oh my God. And then, uh, and then we just get kind of a
little scene of the bar being a success. Yes, exactly. And,
and also, I believe, a little bit of Dalton and Elizabeth skinny dipping for some
reason. Yeah, yeah. But some of that— complaining about it, but it's just an interesting
little way to close the movie. But we get a nice Jeff Healey closer,
and there we are. And, and, uh, the Double Deuce has been saved and is
now a viable business for the owner. There you go. So,
uh, yay business. And it's like, in a lot of ways, Dalton was
the worst thing to ever happen to that town, but at least he somehow inspired
them to get out from under the yoke of Brad Wesley. But like, really,
like, the number of buildings just destroyed in that town— oh my God— after Dalton's
arrival is pretty astronomical. Like, it's most of the town. Yeah, blown up.
They should call him the Dozer instead. Oh man,
Roadhouse, man. So that is Roadhouse. Well, uh, this was my pick. I guess
I'll I'll go first here. You know,
this is kind of in the category of fun to
talk about, think about, quote, yeah, the experience of watching
every minute of this movie. It's not— because there's parts of it that kind of
drag, and there's parts of it that are like, okay, not that well done.
Like we said, you know, the director, we haven't heard much from that individual,
so there's a reason for that. The reviews aren't that great, but Jesus Christ,
this one is so much fun. It is. I really, really had a
good time with this. I like the music. I like feeling like you're
kind of in the bar for most of the movie, and that feels good.
The love scene, like I said, or the love story, I didn't care about that
part. And we could either cut it, or like we said, more Sam Elliott,
more Keith David, more of just training the bouncers,
you know, whatever kind of shit. But Dalton's
a very memorable character, very funny lines by Swayze,
and it gave us the The Throat Rip. Yeah. And some of
the best hired goons, I think, that we've seen in the '80s.
So I'm gonna go ahead and give Road House
a solid 3.5. I think I probably love this more than
a 3.5, but as a, as a review to give out, I think that's
fair. I think that's the experience of watching it. But Jesus, this is a fun
one. If you have not seen it, go out and enjoy it. It's great.
Yeah, I'm feeling very similar to you. It's actually funny, I've been thinking about my
take on this movie, and I do love it. I know I've
got like a nostalgia bump for it, but in reality,
it's a pretty bad movie in a lot of ways. The plot's got part— a
lot of parts of it don't make sense. And I think the worst of it,
a lot of the premise doesn't make sense. And so when your premise doesn't
make sense, the thing you're building off of has a lot of like plot holes
in it, it makes it difficult to have anything other than a hole-filled plot
all the way through. So that's not great, but it is a lot of fun.
I have a ton of nostalgia for it. You know, it is a kind of
a good popcorn flick in some ways. It does cross into the so bad it's
good category for sure. Like, there are parts of it are so kind of
like dumb and B-movie style that it works out and
is— and makes it enjoyable. But even with the— like, I'm giving it the
nostalgia bump, and that gets me at a 3 out of 5. Like, that's where
I'm at with this movie. I think 6.5 out of 10 is more than generous
for us on Road House. And yeah,
that's how— that's where I'm gonna take it. And I think that was the final
movie of the '80s for us for Two Dads, Two Decades. Oh man, there's only
two dads one decade left. That's right, there isn't. So we're gonna go to 1990.
What are we doing, Steve? All right, so when we first started this podcast,
one of the earlier movies we did— not earliest, but one of the earlier movies
we did was, um, The Secret of My Success. And when we did that movie,
you made a comment, and you're absolutely right, that it was so funny to have
a movie or a podcast about movies from the '80s and '90s and have the
first Michael J. Fox film we do The Secret of My Success and not
like Back to the Future or Teen Wolf or something like that, right? And Similarly,
then the first Martin Scorsese picture we did was Cape Fear. Now, Cape Fear is
a great movie, don't get me wrong, but it's not like it doesn't feel like
essential Scorsese. Exactly. It's not like what Scorsese is known for. It's not
one of his like most popular movies of the era, you know. And so I
decided for 1990, you know, looking through the movies that came out that year when
it was my turn, you know, I realized this was a year I was going
to pick. When I saw this, this Scorsese picture come up, I'm like, well,
we've got to do this movie at some point. We might as well do it.
Now, really dive us into the world that Scorsese is famous for showing
us, right? The mafia, you know, sort of like New York, the Italian Americans.
Honestly, a lot of the Irish folks as well. That's been a theme throughout his
mob movies the years. But, you know, if it's not obvious yet what I'm talking
about, man, we're going to watch Goodfellas. We got Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta,
and Joe Pesci ready to show us the most crazy
world of the '70s and '80s mobsters in New New
York. I'm super excited about it. Beautiful. I cannot wait. I love this one.
Uh, this is going to be a great conversation. Absolutely. So that's a wrap.
If you like what you hear, please consider heading over to Apple or Spotify and
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check out our website at twodads1movie.com. That's the number 2 and the number 1.
There you can explore the movies we've covered, sign up for our newsletter, The Rewind,
and even get sneak previews of upcoming episodes. We'd also love it if you followed
us on Instagram, TikTok, and Bluesky. @twodads1movie. Once again, this has been
Roadhouse, another episode of Two Dads, One Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nick.
Thank you so much for listening, and we'll catch you next week. Thanks,