Hey, landlord! Oh, that's amazing. I thought they were
extinct. I could swear that that's the call of the red-beaked,
seersuckered summer renter.
And it is. Why aren't you home packing?
You took a vacation away from my family. Now I'm going to take something away
from you. What can you take from me?
That. What, my cup? Yeah.
You think you can, uh, outsail me? Yes.
You couldn't beat my dinghy.
Really? Really. You wanna bet?
What are you gonna bet, huh? What, popcorn?
Nah. Lobsters?
$1,000.
The last 2 weeks' rent. You win, you keep the check. We go
home. I win, I keep the check. We stay here
2 weeks rent-free. Do we have a bet?
You know something, Dumbo? You're even stupider
than you look. It's 2 Dads
1 Movie. It's the podcast where 2 middle-aged dads sit around and
shoot the shit about the movies of the '80s and '90s. Here are
your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nic Briana.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of 2 Dads, 1 Movie.
I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. And today we are diving into summer, 'cause it
is summer. That's right. With the 1985 John Candy vehicle,
Summer Rental. And this was one of my picks. And I am gonna be totally
transparent. I'm gonna be totally honest here. This is one of those movies that if
you've seen those memes that go around or the comment sections on like either Facebook
or Reddit or whatever these days where it's like, hey, what was that one movie
that you had as a kid and like watched 1,000 times and like nobody else
seems to give a shit about? This was one of two. Okay, movies for me
that would fit that category. The other one's Iron Eagle, and we're gonna watch Iron
Eagle someday too. But Summer Rental is absolutely one of those movies. I mean,
who didn't love John Candy, right? I mean, just in general. And then this was
just one of those like incredibly easy watches. It was like a movie if I
got sick and was staying home from school, like I would put this on.
We had it on VHS. I wore the tape out, uh, and it was just
a movie I watched a thousand times. And when I bring it up to other
people, most of the time they've either never heard of it or they're like,
oh, is that the one where John Candy goes on vacation with Dan Aykroyd?
I'm like, no, no, that's The Great Outdoors. Like, oh, oh, it's the one with
the It's like, yeah, yeah, that's the one. But it's like there's no recognition
of like, oh, I love that movie too. So, so I come in adoring this
movie. Nic, what's your, what's your background with Summer Rental? Um, I definitely saw
this as a kid. And, uh, because it was— I mean, this is a very
solid PG. It's like a very comfortable PG.
And, uh, it is something as a kid you're like, oh, this is cool,
because it would be cool if my family like packed up the car and went
and stayed at a place for like, yeah, a month. Or yeah, you know,
at least. Yeah. And, uh, and, and I liked it and I liked John Candy,
but I I did. I think my memory did meld this and The Great Outdoors
a lot, you know, so I might be thinking about, oh, that part in Summer
Rental where he has to eat the giant steak. I was thinking, okay, that's not
in there. Um, so lobsters in this one, it's the steak in that one.
That's right, Mr. Surf and Turf himself, John Candy. Never caught
up to him. No, no, he's fine. So, uh,
so yeah, this was one that I definitely had a memory of seeing and I
remember enjoying as a kid, but I don't think I'd seen it as an adult.
So yeah, uh, yeah, it was interesting to go back and look at it,
but I love John And, you know, my thought was
John Candy can do no wrong. And, I mean, we'll see. No, I think that's
fair. And I think this is another one, you know, we talked, uh, it was
a few weeks ago now, uh, about The Big Lebowski. And it was like,
I remember going into that one kind of worried, like, I hadn't seen it in
a while. Is it gonna hold up? Or is it gonna be like, um,
another movie we're gonna see at some point, The Boondock Saints, that I know I
do not like as much now as I did when I was like 19,
20 years old. I thought it was a masterpiece. And I know when we go
back to watch it, that's not gonna be the case. So I was kind of
worried about this one too. It's like, okay, is it just nostalgia? Is there anything,
you know, that's like really good about it? or funny in this. Yeah, um,
I laughed a lot watching it, so I, I can't wait to get into it
with you and, and talk it through. But it'll be interesting to see, uh,
if we land in the same spot with, uh, nostalgia versus actual
quality. Yeah, I think so much of our show hinges on that fulcrum.
For sure. All right, let's jump into the facts on Summer Rental. Uh, the film
Summer Rental was released on August 9th, 1985 with a PG rating. As you said,
a very solid PG. There's like nothing kind of offensive about this movie,
even given that it was the mid-'80s. Right. Right. Yeah, it's pretty tame.
PG could have meant a lot of things. Uh, it has a running time officially
of 87 minutes, was directed by the great Carl Reiner, which I,
I was surprised to see. I don't even think I ever really knew, like,
ever registered that, that this is a Carl Reiner movie. Uh, it was written by
Jeremy Stephens and Mark Reisman and stars John Candy, Richard Crenna, and Rip Torn.
Scores are not favorable. On Rotten Tomatoes, this earned
19% fresh, which I don't think is this the lowest we've seen. I think Troop
Beverly Hills was 17, but it is right in that conversation. On IMDb,
a very, very poor 6.3. And this is a film Siskel and Ebert did
not review in At the Movies at all. I looked into it a bit and
they took August of 1985 off. And I get the sense that
by the time they got back to do their shows in September, like this wasn't
in theaters anymore. It hadn't made a splash. So it was like they didn't even
bother. Siskel and Ebert gave it 2. Psych! Yeah, right, exactly.
Yeah. And then no awards action to speak of. There were a couple things,
something called the Young Artist Awards, back then where they both— Kerri Green and Joey
Lawrence, the, the 2 older kids, were nominated as Best New or Best Young Actress,
Best Young Actor. Not win. Oh, interesting. But it was interesting. They got a little
bit of sort of credit for, as youngsters, uh, for doing this movie,
um, on a budget. So this is the hard part. This is the first time
I have not been able to nail down a budget for a film that
we've covered. Yeah. Uh, and you mentioned pre— before the pod too, it's like we
had like to the dollar, you've got Kevin Smith's Clerks. Like, seriously, really everything.
He had receipts stapled behind his budget. Like, you knew every line item there.
100%. This was Carl Reiner, clearly a little— and John Candy and
Richard Crenna. I mean, these were all stars. Yeah. Candy, Crenna, and Torn were all
names at this point. Carl Reiner was a name at this point. So there was
obviously some cost. The estimation is $10 to $15 million, which, like, the boat
stuff alone, I'm sure leans it in towards that $15 stuff,
right? So much of this is filmed on the water, on boats, which means they
were filming from boats. Like, there's a lot of, like, complicated filmmaking to go into
that. We'll call it $12.5 for our purposes of, like, figuring out a multiplier,
'cause it did only take in $24.7 million. That's just less than $25 million.
twice what it cost. I learned something interesting recently, actually, and I don't know
if this is the way it was in the '80s and '90s as well,
but I think it is, and it's certainly true today. If you've ever heard the
sort of rule of thumb that a movie's gotta make twice what it costs to
even come close to making any money, it's because the theaters
keep half the ticket price, which makes sense. They gotta make their money somehow.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. I know they make a lot of money on popcorn and
soda, but apparently all that box office gross that goes in,
all that money they say, this is what the movie made, half of that went
to the distributor, you know, the cinema's actually showing it. Oh. So if they
don't make twice the money, then they're not really back to square one,
right, with the budget. That's such a simple calculation, 'cause in my mind it was
like, well, we're factoring like ad promotion and overseas stuff and lawsuit
reserves and all this shit. And it's like, oh no, it's because they get half
the money. But then also that shit too. Like for sure there's like, yeah,
what's the marketing budget? That never gets factored into the— when you see the budget
for a film, it never includes marketing. It's production budget only, right? Exactly, it's production
budget. So it's like, you know, acquiring, it's paying the cast and paying the writers
and the director and all the crew. It's, you know, location scouting and the
actual, like, act of filming, and then whatever, like, equipment and materials they need,
right? Like, that's what that number is. So it does have this hidden—
and it's, you know, Hollywood is famous for its bullshit accounting. For sure. And one
of the reasons it can do it is because that marketing budget is— it's fugazi,
you know? Yeah, totally. It's not a thing. So they're like, one agency's paying another
agency, who's then paying them back, and like all this stuff. But yeah, if we
knew the exact dollar amount of John Candy and ripped, torn billboards that were put
up to promote this movie, that would be good to know. It would be good
to know, but we don't have that info. is that it didn't quite make that,
that 2x sort of bare minimum. So this was not in any way a
success at the box office. All right. Um, but you know what? It was a
success in my heart and from my couch. Uh, well,
I remember, I specifically remember watching this movie on a, uh,
wooden-framed CRT television with like a wicker panel. Oh, yes. You know what I
mean? That kind of like a— maybe not wicker, rattan, kind of a rattan sort
of like panel where the speaker is. Yes. Really old school '80s TV.
Oh, it must have sounded so good though. Sounded like shit.
All right, Steve. Well, where do we start off here? Let's dive
in. So we start off with kind of a fun way to start. Maybe a
little voiceover with just some establishing shots. We don't really see the family, but it's
obviously morning. We're hearing the Chesters. This is Jack Chester,
John Candy, and his kids and his wife. And and he's kind of trying to
rush out to to work. Yep. His son has made his son Joe.
Well, Bobby, played by Joey Lawrence, is has like made eggs. And he's like,
"I made I made." I had to make. I love this. I had to make.
Breakfast for school. I made spaghetti and one hard-boiled egg.
Yeah. And he goes, "Well, keep the spaghetti, but give me the egg. Throw in
another one, and I'll get going." Which creates a very funny moment where he's on
his way to work then, and he cracks one egg and is able to sort
of peel and eat it. But then he goes to crack the other egg,
and he didn't ask him to boil it all over his car, all over everywhere.
But even the first egg, I mean, there are egg bits of the peel all
over. It's just disgusting. And this is a movie that my wife watches
most of these with me, and this one she's like. Um, dude, I'll pop in
whenever, but she is weird. I mean, a lot of people like really
hate the egg and the hard-boiled egg, like that situation. So I was
explaining that it was like going into the vents of his car and stuff.
Um, but it's a really funny gag of like— they
do a good job of establishing just how like flustered and overwhelmed
he is and how much he needs this upcoming— Yeah, and it's, it's just a
lot. It's a scene of domesticity. It's, it's just showing us like Jack's a regular
guy. He's got a family, he's got a, a career. Maybe the career's a little
demanding. We get a thing where, uh, he tries to leave with coffee and his
wife stops him and gives him like tea or something instead because the coffee is
bad for him. You know, like ulcer, like all this stuff. So we're getting the
hint that he is overworked. I feel like ulcers were such a bigger thing in
the '80s and '90s, right? Especially in movies. It feels like— It's like the main
thing. Like every, every other protagonist had an ulcer, right? Or,
or, you know, you go to the— And they're chugging Maalox. Right, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, uh, one thing that I noticed that I think,
uh, 2 things. I loved his dash-mounted cup holder.
It was very cool. I was like, oh yeah, cars weren't built with factory cup
holders, so you had to get a cup holder that stuck to your dash with
a special cup that stuck to that. Exactly. Yeah. Uh, and then I thought this
movie gets a Steve point because of the Alan Silvestri, uh,
score. It's, it's fantastic, dudes. I was like, okay, there's a Steve
point for, for that. Silvestri, great composer, also pretty fantastic
winemaker. There's a Silvestri Vineyards, has a tasting room in Carmel-by-the-Sea
that is well worth checking out. Partly because it's covered in the movie posters of
movies he scored with his score playing from different things. You can walk in and
hear the Back to the Future soundtrack and stuff. It's a really neat place.
Yeah, great little tasting room in Carmel. Nice. So, yeah,
so he's driving to work and we find out, it's funny, there are 2 ways
we find out that he's in Atlanta, in my opinion. The first is that every
radio station is like Christian Bible beating, like it's all just pastors on the radio.
And then he's driving down a highway and if you look at the highway signs,
it's like one direction to Montgomery, one to Macon. So it's, you know, it's where
he is. And of course Atlanta. Hartfield-Jackson is one of the most busy airports in
the country, even was back in the '80s. And that's our man Jack Chester as
an air traffic controller there at Hartfield-Jackson. Yeah. So, and he—
we see a couple really quick scenes. It's such an economical opening because we see
a couple really quick moments of him directing planes, you know,
telling, you know, whatever. And at one point he is— he says a heading and
an altitude to one plane, and the pilot comes back over and goes, can you
repeat that? And he goes, yeah, you know, descend to 17,000, heading 250,
or whatever. And he goes, Yeah, there's a jumbo jet there. Are you trying to
mate us? Like, and he goes, disregard,
disregard, go here instead, you know. And so it's showing his flustered, and then he
really freaks out because he thinks he lost a plane. There's a plane that's not
on his radar anymore, and his boss comes over and shows him that a fly
just landed on the little dot, you know, that exists. And he's like, dude,
come on, get— let's get a drink of coffee, like, or whatever. Like, you need
to calm down, let's go for a walk. But yeah, and that basically gives us
the premise for the whole movie. Exactly. Like, he needs this vacation. I So
I guess at this time, Jack Chester is one of the replacement
air traffic controllers. So in 1981, there was a very famous air traffic
controller strike. Right. And the way that Ronald Reagan responded to it was firing
all of the air traffic controllers and replacing them either with, like,
retired ones or, like, military-affiliated people,
which fucks up air travel for sure. It is crazy. Kind of awesome
if you plan on flying a bunch of drugs into the country. But, um,
but yeah, that was interesting that this happened so soon before that.
And I, I don't know, Carl Reiner. I mean that the strike
happened soon, like before this. I'm sorry. But Carl Reiner, I don't know. I know
Rob Reiner was like pretty vocally like political. Yes,
politically vocal. And I know Carl Reiner was like left-leaning and wouldn't have liked Reagan.
Yeah, but I don't know if you would have put this in on purpose as
any kind of thing. It just seems like a good, interesting job that could be
stressful and shown to be stressful very easily on film.
100%. I think that's the the crux of it, because they even said something like—
his boss says something like, you've been landing planes for 13 years, you've never taken
a vacation. So it's like apparently he's been working straight through. So he scabbed
through the strike. Yeah, maybe. I don't like Jack Chester anymore. Not a man of
the people. Let's go ahead and end it now. Um, yeah, so they,
they tell him, uh, what is it, a 5-week sabbatical they put him on?
Yeah, it's basically— yeah, mandatory 5. So he's got to take 5 weeks off.
So, you know, what are you gonna do for 5 weeks in the summer?
Uh, and, uh, And yeah, they're gonna go to Florida and
to Citrus Cove, Florida, and spend you know
chunk of summer there. Like I get it; they're in Atlanta. It's not that long
a drive. It makes sense. You know where they should go. It's so funny.
I think it's I think when I was younger, I never really clocked that they
were in Atlanta. Like that never registered to me. Yeah. And later he wears a
Chicago Blackhawks hockey jersey and several seasons. Exactly. And so
I always thought, man, they drove all the way from Chicago to Florida. That's kind
of insane. That's like a two or three day trip. It's got to be right.
Yeah. No, just just Georgia. Like it's not that far. Yeah. I'm glad that they.
I'm glad that they had established the geography too, because I always would just default
assume that John Candy is playing a character from the Midwest. Right, of course.
So absolutely. And Citrus Cove, I mean, it looks beautiful.
It looks great. Yeah. Uh, the house that they check in, that they walk into,
is, is really nice, you know, all the wood paneling, but like an ideal situation
for a rental cabin. They just— incredible views out there, right on the water.
Like, you look out the window and it's like the beach is like right there.
They got no separation, man. They are— yeah, they're killing it. It's good. And it
seems like a good relationship too. Like, Jack is very,
uh, kind of openly self-conscious about his weight and stuff, but his wife is very
sweet. She's very supportive towards him and stuff. Yeah. Um, and it's kind of interesting,
like, for, you know, 40 years ago, for a male character to
be like, you know, uncomfortable with his body. And especially because look at Candy
in this movie. It's the slimmest I think he's ever been on film. He actually—
I mean, he's still got the double chin, you know, whatever, but like his actual
like midsection is— he's smaller than in most movies, you know. You think about Stripes
was only a few years before this. I think Uncle Buck was only a couple
years after this, and you look at him in both of those movies, he's significantly
bigger than he was for this. So I'm not quite sure what was going on
in Candy's life at the time that had him dropping some weight, whether that was
a good thing or a bad thing, 'cause it certainly can be both or either,
right? Right. But he certainly had slimmed down. And there's a great line here where,
yeah, like you're talking about his self-deprecation and sort of self-consciousness. He tells his wife,
Sandy, he's like, oh, I forgot a bathing suit. I guess I can't
go in the water all summer long. Aw, geez. And she goes, I like how
you look in a bathing suit. And he turns and goes, my mother was right.
You're twisted. And it's just like, I love the— I
think you're right. There's like, there's a caring and a sort of like lovely
continued infatuation with each other that this married couple shows, which is like
so refreshing, I think. Totally. Because it's like, it's easy to go for the joke
where they're like bickering at each other off the bat. You know, that's like an
easy— ripe for comedy. Yeah, absolutely. He introduces
himself to a couple of these neighbors who look very much like the Underhills from
The Stretch, like just in this country club '80s snob vein,
right? And he introduces him. Jack Chester, we're staying
next door. And you are? And the lady's just like having lunch.
And they just— oh. But yeah,
he's glad. He's like watching the kids. They're playing in the surf or whatever.
And he goes to like lay down and he kind of ends up falling asleep.
Yeah. We get a very brief— I love these little moments where they do this
establishment. This is Carl Reiner being a really good filmmaker, I think, in some of
it. But, you know, a plane flies by that just says Citrus
Cove Regatta, July 15th. So that's it, we've established that a regatta exists,
right? Nothing else about it yet, just file that in the back of your mind,
that's there. But, you know, the kids wake him up and he's been falling,
he's been asleep, and he's had his like arms up above his head, and so
his underarm, kind of back of his forearm and arm— He
is insanely red. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. And even the daughter is like,
hey, Dad, like, that looks pretty bad. And he's trying to play it off,
he's like, oh, no, no, no, you gotta do these things in stages. That's a
good base, that's a good base. Oh yeah, no, he's red. He's fucking so
in pain. Oh, man. And then, uh, yeah, so, so this is
just kind of a series of little fun vacation misadventures. They end
up, uh, at the local lobster restaurant, and he's very excited. Oh, yeah.
So there's a big line going out the door, but Jack is at the tank,
which is right by the front, and he's like, ooh, which one's gonna be mine?
Look at all these lobsters. All fired up. And the family— God bless these young
children for being excited about having a lobster. I mean, especially the youngest is what,
2 and a half, 3 years old? It surprises me that she would be into
a lobster. You know, ripping a lobster at 2 and a half. That's a way
for Dad to get himself a second lobster. That is not your choice.
One of the lines that always stuck with me here is, you know, they're talking
about how long it is to wait, and he comes back and he says,
I brought us some mint-flavored toothpicks to hold us over.
That one I totally remembered from when I saw this as a kid. And such
a classic dad move in the '80s, right? Like, maybe like, you know, yeah,
either they'd either have little mint-flavored toothpicks or maybe those little pinwheel mints,
right? If you could grab a couple, or I mean, even better, what are those
pillow mints or whatever? Remember those? Those little kind of buttery things? Those are
good if they're mint. Half the time they'd just be loose in a bowl,
and there's some kid's grubby mitt going into it, so it's like you can't trust
it. You gotta get the ones with the little tiny white cellophane. Those are okay.
But yeah, but yeah, dad grabbing just anything to like get your mind off the
fact that you're that hungry. Um, but so they finally then get up to where
they're next, right? They've been waiting the whole time. He's still bright red, and there
are only a few lobsters left in the tank. And it's, and it's clear that
there are many fewer now than when he, you know, walked up before. And the
maître d', who's got a thick Italian accent for some reason, is like, you know,
oh, yours will be the very next table, like, you know, kind of thing.
Except now we get introduced to a new character,
Al Pelé, who is played by Richard
Crenna, and who Bobby, the son, noticed at first,
at one point, saying— because there's all these trophies in the restaurant here and pictures
of Al having won the Citrus Cove Regatta for like 7 years in a
row, and there's trophies, and there's like, you know, all this stuff. And Bobby's like,
whoa, Dad, look at this guy. It's like, he must be good. It's like Lebowski's
trophy room there. Right, exactly. But in a restaurant for some reason. Apparently this is
Al's favorite restaurant. I guess that's basically it. And so, but he walks up with
four guests and just walks straight up to the maître d'. And the maître d's
all like, "Oh, Captain Pelle, how are you doing?" Or whatever. I don't know what
fucking accent he has, but it's something strong, you know. And he's like, "Hey,
there'll be five of us. Just seat us now, please." And he's like, "Oh,
of course." So he walks him off. Yeah. And Jack is like,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You said we were the next table." And
he goes, "Oh, well, Mr. Pelle had a that's Mr. Pelle had a reservation.
Thought you didn't take reservations. Well, we do for Mr. Pelle. You know." And he's
like trying to be nice about it. But Jack's just like, we're next. Like,
don't screw around, we're next. Well, the problem is we cut back then to the
table. And they ordered the last. And this is a great character moment for Al
because he's like, first he orders everybody, what do you say we all have the
lobster? And he goes to his buddy next to him, he goes, no arguments,
tonight's dinner is on you. He thought he said, I was gonna say on me.
He thought I said— and he's just like, thinks it's the funniest thing in the
world. Yeah. Oh my God. That's a good line.
Before Al Pelle even says anything, you know he's gonna be an asshole 'cause he's
wearing the captain's hat. And like kind of snaps, I think, at his own
friends or whatever, wife. He has that good '80s butthole look.
He really does. Krennic can just so pull off anything
that requires a hard ass or an asshole. Like, there's the Trautman stuff,
there's this, you know, even like, I think, wasn't he Rachel's dad in
later episodes of Friends? Like, I'm pretty sure he's the guy who plays
Dr. Green. And it's just it works like every time,
you know. Yeah. It's like and he he just seems so natural with yeah
with like an ascot and a captain's hat on. Yeah. It's just perfect for him.
They nailed that. And then especially as a kid, if you're thinking about this movie's
made for like ten-year-olds at the time, they're like boom, I identify this guy sucks.
And and so Jack is pissed off and he comes over to the table like
they've ordered his lobsters. He's like hey, this is my table. These are my lobsters.
Yeah. And then Pelly gets up and kind of makes a scene. Yes. He goes
oh these are your lobsters and he like. Like, because Jack like slaps the table.
He slaps it. He goes, "My table!" You know, he goes, "Oh, this is your
table. I guess these are your lobsters. Is this your wife?" He
like hits it. Is this your belt? And he like unzips his his
fly. Goes, "Are these your shorts?" And his wife starts to say something, and he
goes, "Da da da da da da." Yes. And it's just like again so
economical. The same way that we set up Jack's like wholesome domesticity and sort
of status as a father in just moments and a few lines, we get so
perfectly that not only is Al a dick, but he's like.
like a cartoonish villain. And that's what this story needs. To his friends and to
his wife, like, already at the very beginning. 100%. Everybody in his life is
subject to his wrath, essentially. And he does— he's not selective about it.
It's just he's a dick to everyone. Yeah, all the time. Um,
so they're like, well, screw this, we're not gonna be here. Our lobsters are gone,
we're out of here, let's go somewhere else. And the only other place to eat
is the Barnacle. Barnacle, which is a restaurant that's kind of like— it's a
Right, where that has all the restaurant on it and the dock and the bar
kind of like pulls up to the boat and then there's tables and stuff.
And Captain Scully, right, this very kind of like
comical pirate. Yeah, never gave up the pirate
lifestyle type dude, talks like a real, a true sailor. Yeah, and it's
almost like you figure this is the kind of person that never really existed.
This is like if the cartoonish version of Blackbeard or Captain
Hook or whatever, right? Yeah, the fictional pirate characters like really existed.
Yes, like nobody ever spoke like Scully speaks in this movie.
Like, not really. Uh, and then, you know, they finally order,
oh, let's get 5 Scully's Catch of the Day. And then it cuts to the
basement, you know, the freezer, and they pull out the frozen fish fingers.
Um, which is a great gag. And this was before they did it in European
Vacation. I know European Vacation had a very similar gag where they were putting
like a little French flag into the frozen meals before they served them.
That's a good point. I can't remember what year that was, but it would have
been like '83, '84, '85. It would have been right in that ballpark. 'Cause the
original was like '81, I wanna say. That's right, it was earlier. Yeah, so it
would have been right around here, yeah. But I love that, you know, that's great
resolution to this whole thing, going from this tank full of live lobsters to
the most well-traveled fish that's been frozen since
the Carter administration. And it's so funny too, 'cause Jack says, like his kids are
kinda questioning, this place looks like a dump, you know, whatever. Even the little one,
Lori, goes, this place sucks. And they're like, oh, you shouldn't say that. And he's
like, well, you know, I asked the guy at the gate, You can always trust
a guy at a gas station to tell you where the local good food is.
I don't know why that's a thing that he believes or understood at the time,
but I love when Scully's saying— they're like, well, can you recommend something? And he
goes, Scully's catch of the day, it's fresh grouper sautéed to
a golden brown with a teasing hint of Dijon.
And he's really playing it up. And they're like, yeah, we'll take 5. And it
cuts to Mrs. Van de Kamp's fish fingers or something, whatever it was.
Very funny stuff. Yeah. Um, and the frozen food, it's like it's established here,
comes back later. There's all, again, kind of these little things. But, you know,
they basically eat the, the dinner. You know, we don't have any more dinner.
Like, they're, they're settling for this because it's what they can get. Yeah.
Um, so we're, we're back at the house, and, uh,
somebody's at the door of the house. Well, so Jack wakes up in the middle
of the night, right? Because he hears, yeah, something like the door or the rattling,
or there's something, whatever. Um, and he, you know,
kind of comes out. He's got noxzema all over his face and like trying to
deal with the sunburn. Yeah. And he comes downstairs and he like— Archie, their dog—
we had mentioned Archie, their dog. They have like a golden, right, who's this
very lazy kind of older dog. And like a lot of older dogs, just fucking
doesn't want to do shit. Flops around, doesn't do its guard dog duties. Absolutely not.
Useless in that way, but very, very friendly looking dog.
But Archie's not, does not care that there's rattling at the door.
And so Jack goes up and he's even holding like a statue and he's like,
I'm gonna brain these people when they try breaking in here. Open, you know,
the door opens and it's this family, it's African American family, you know, 2 kids,
wife and husband, like obviously not breaking in. And he's like, who the hell are
you people? And he's like, I'm the owner, who the hell are you? And there's
argument over like all this stuff. And what comes out is that the receipt Jack
has and the address of the house that they rented was 415 Beach Road,
and the owner tells him this house is 415 Beach
Lane. If you're gonna have a city with
like roads and lanes, do a different numbering scheme, please.
Something. Uh, this guy, this guy's actually funny. The guy who plays,
uh, Dan Gardner, the owner of the house, is one of Navin Johnson's brothers
in The Jerk, another Carl Reiner film. So maybe he's
He's been in like a million things, but he was funny as one of those
characters. Um, so yeah, so at least like after the lobster, after the fish
stick thing, right, at least the family could cling on to the idea that we're
in this nice place for an extended period of time. Beautiful home for like 5
weeks. Yeah, fantastic. And now boom, you guys are out of here.
So they gotta go find 515 or 415 Beach Lane. No, they gotta find
Beach Road. Yeah, so exactly, still confusing. But they like drop the kibble
on the way out and like it's just all a mess. Um, oh, and then
this is— this is a gag I thought was like the funniest thing. So,
uh, and they're— the family's just kind of like, get out of
here, right? Get your shit, get out of here. They're being very nice about it,
but, uh, but then Jack comes back inside. He's like, oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot my Noxzema. And he runs upstairs, and then he comes back
down carrying the little girl. He's like, and my daughter. And as they're walking out,
she says, uh, I wet my bed, Daddy. He's like, no, you didn't.
You wet their bed. Oh, can you imagine
the poor Gardner family, like, coming home probably from their own, you know,
couple of days away or something, and he just got his 5-week sabbatical
from his job. Good God, so crazy. So yeah, so they find their actual
house, which is not nearly as nice. It's still on the beach,
um, but it's, you know, one-story, small, kind of run down.
It's a much busier neighborhood. There's construction next door. Next door there's construction
going on. And, uh, they They realize right
away as they're eating breakfast that right next to the house and the window into
the little breakfast area, the dining room, whatever, is a
public access to the beach. It's like how you walk from the parking lot
to the beach. So they're just gonna have people walking past them like all
summer long. And I like that it's a steady, like, huge stream of people constantly,
and they're sitting there eating bran checks. Just like,
come on, stay out of the pool for 2 weeks if you're doing that.
Also, let your kids have something. Like, we just got downgraded
to this house. Like, let's do something. Oh, I cannot imagine what my children would
be able to get away with if that happened to us and I was now
like, okay, well, we're here instead. Like, I would be guilt-ridden all summer long.
They would get everything they asked for. It would be a free-for-all.
Like, because the moment one of them is like, yeah, but Dad, that house was
so— I know. Goddamn it. Okay, yes, you can have that squirt gun too.
Uh, they're, they're kind of seeing who their new neighbors are. So one of the,
one of the kids, they have like kind of a teenage daughter, like probably 15,
maybe sophomore in high school. Ballpark it. And then the son's maybe a few
years younger than that, and then the little guy. So of course, right next door
to them is a house that's all lifeguards and are immediately hitting on their daughter.
And Jack looks and sees like all the jockstraps hanging on the laundry
line there. Next to a whole gaggle of them.
Yeah, and then one of them, as they walk by, they're all walking past Jack
to like go off to do their lifeguard duties, and you just kind of throwaway
line, but you hear one of them say, hey, that guy looked like John Madden.
It's like, hey, he kind of does look like John Madden. So, uh, all right,
this is kind of a big set piece for like a visual
gag in the movie, and this is one of the more memorable scenes. And these—
you've been to beaches like this before? You typically stay away when it's that crowded?
Oh, 100%. I hate beaches just in general. Like, I love the ocean, I love
marinas, boats, sailing. Yeah, all that stuff. I adore all that.
I cannot stand sand, so I tend to stay off beaches altogether. And if a
beach is at all crowded, like, I'm I am not dealing with it.
It turns me out like I— you get spoiled because you're— you have access to
a lot of different places or whatever. But on the East Coast, I remember as
a kid you'd go to the beach in like New Hampshire, which, you know,
look at a map and see where the coastline of New Hampshire is. Like 2
feet long. Yeah. Uh, and it just being like every square— or
if you're in like, you know, San Diego Pacific Beach on 4th of July
and it's just unmanageable. It's like 10 people deep and it's so
miserable. And they really nailed it there. Getting anywhere is crazy. Finding anyone
is crazy, right? No one's paying attention. No one's like being courteous and
stuff. It's not like people are keeping aisles clear, like, to make— let you walk.
There's just spread. Every man for himself. Yeah, yeah. And,
uh, and as Jack's walking there, he's like overloaded with stuff. He's carrying
this big cooler. Yeah. Which then like sprouts open the little spout and
starts draining freezing-ass ice water all over people that are laying down.
And it was like, hey! Yeah, yeah. And I— the way he plays it off
is really funny. He's not that apologetic. It's really just like water,
whatever. Like, he's like, it's just ice water, just ice water. Where it like lands
on a woman who screams. And then he like, uh, it's over a hibachi cooking
hot dogs and puts the hibachi out and he goes, you're not supposed to be
cooking on the beach anyway. It's illegal, it's against the law. And he like steps
on some guy's sunscreen, splurts it all over him. And it's really just— he is—
he's like Godzilla walking through Tokyo and just destroying things as he
goes. It's so crazy. It's like he's crowd surfing like in an unauthorized
way. He's just stomping on everybody's place. Um, and then,
uh, and he is wearing the Blackhawks number 21 Stan Mikita jersey.
Uh, so Stan Makita has now been in Wayne's World and this. It wasn't Cameron's
jersey in— No, that was Gordie Howe of the Red Wings. So yeah, but we'll
keep our eyes out. There is another reference I should include, like reference to every
movie that we have some hockey reference to it, because yeah, that's another one.
I think the jersey alone counts. I think we've got it. Yeah, we've got a
lot of hockey in this. Yeah, plus you're a big hockey guy. So,
um, one thing I did hate about this scene— so kind of at the very
end of it, he finds them in their spot, and then his son's like,
hey Dad, want to play frisbee? And does the most like if you were making
an I Think You Should Leave sketch about a guy who's trying to stage
a nut shot for America's Funniest Home Videos, this is like how good it
is, right? And the kid from 2 feet away throws the Frisbee into John Candy's
nuts, and then John Candy, with the least effort he's ever done anything,
goes, oh, say can you see, and then falls over.
I hate that shit so much. It ruined the scene. I really like this scene.
Me too. And then that is just Like, what a half-assed attempt at
a joke. I mean, I hated it. I get it. I cannot disagree with you
on this, like, for sure. To me, I think I took it just a little
more as like hacky, kind of throwaway, don't care. Like, it didn't bother
me as much, I think, as it bothered you, but it absolutely is a garbage
joke. In terms of living up to their potential, everybody involved should be ashamed about
that. Like, I expect more from them, right? Except for Joey Lawrence. That was a
decent throw. That was a good toss. He was obviously instructed to throw at his
junk, and he really nailed it. So the kid, the kid gets a pass.
He went to Frisbee camp for 6 months to train for this movie.
Well, there is more frisbee that comes because they end up throwing the frisbee back
and forth a little bit, at which point it kind of flies underneath two people
or you know next to two people making out. The wife rolls over on it
and you know all this stuff. There's also this kind of funny gag. Oh,
he says like your wife's on my whammo. Yeah, it's great. But there's there's a
couple of gags here too where as people are complaining at him, he says if
there's anything wrong, like send oh he like steps on the guy's camera right and
drags it through the sand. He goes ah it's probably fine, but if there's any
problem, send the bill to 415 Beachline. which is the nice house that they had
to evacuate. When the wife's on my whammo thing, the guy's like, get out of
here. He goes, oh, when you're done using it, just send it back to 415
Beach Lane— Beach Road, Beach Road, 'cause he wants to actually get the Frisbee.
So he's like playing this game in his head of telling people the wrong address.
Yeah. It's like interesting, but yeah.
Let's see here. And then the next thing they try is volleyball. Oh, that's great.
And he also is terrible at that. He flies through the net. All of this
is set up— so the whole thing with helping Bobby with the raft,
which is the first thing he does, and then Bobby says, I don't want to,
I'm gonna play Frisbee. He tries playing Frisbee, that kind of thing. of, you know,
peters out or whatever. And then he's like, well, let's do volleyball. And that doesn't
really work. He ends up just— the whole point is that he's like, I,
I— he thinks I'm a loser. He's like, I got nothing to do with this
kid that he can do. And he sees off in the distance some sailboats and
he goes, oh, that's right, I'm a sailor. I'll teach him to sail. And it's
like, which, you know, he later admits that like he sailed when
he was a kid. Like he learned in like summer camp or something. Yeah.
It's like, bro, like you're gonna set yourself up for further disappointment here claiming that
you're like a sailor, quote unquote. Yeah, yeah. But sure enough.
But that's the idea. And you need to, you need to lock in that time,
uh, with the kids. So you can't blame him too much. Uh, but he goes
to rent a sailboat and they say, well, all the sailboat rentals are taken.
We have the regatta coming in 2 weeks. So everybody's practicing. Yeah,
everyone's working on it. Uh, the only thing, you might be able to rent a
boat from Scully, who's the guy who owns the barn. That's right. So he has
to go back to Scully, and sure enough, they got a couple of small,
you know, boats to, to just kind of for rentals or whatever. And Scully offers
to do a lesson. He's like, I know Every rental comes with a free lesson,
like you know whatever. He's like, "Oh no no no, I got it. I can
take it out." So he starts off, and you know it starts off. They're they're
sailing, and he's showing the son how to do something. You know they actually have
kind of a close call at one point. He kind of turns real hard turn
to get away from the boat. Very last minute. Very last minute, and you know
whatever. And then they see the incisor, which is Captain Alpelle's boat.
And you know Bobby's like, "Hey, let's." Is he a dentist? Has that been established,
or are we just assuming that? he named his boat that? Oh,
I never actually thought that he would, because they don't really talk about it.
But I was like, why is it called the Incisor? Because it's something that cuts
through. So I always, always thought of it much more like an incision through the
water. Yeah, that's what I assumed. But I never thought of the dentist angle.
But no, they don't actually ever establish any kind of career for, for, for Al.
Yeah, I assumed at this point he's either professionally a sailor or
he's like retired from something and this is what he does now, right? Yeah,
yeah, just go. But, but a good point. It certainly could have been something like
But so they decide to get closer, and as they're going, there's this sort of
like conversation happening between Jack and Bobby about like, hey, like, we're getting kind of
close, you might want to turn, Dad. And he goes, no, no, no, we're the
smaller boat, we've got the right of way. And then on Pele's boat, on Al's
boat, it's like, hey, Al, there's that, there's that little dinghy out there coming at
you. He's like, well, we, we've got the right of way, let him move.
Now, I don't know enough about maritime rules and stuff to know who actually had
the right of way. Yeah, but I have a feeling if one of these characters
is correct, it's Captain Al. He's much more likely to know the right— Yeah,
I mean, I would assume that it— the more maneuverable That
does seem like it would make sense. But, but yeah, I know there's always these
kind of, uh, these kind of rules. And it seems like whatever happens, they're gonna
believe what Captain Al says. So, uh, there's that too. But they actually do crash.
But he's also a dick, and he sees that there's like a child, you know,
it's like, I know that there's a risk here, but I don't really care.
Like, let him deal with it, right? Like, yeah, I'm not gonna deal with it.
So sure enough, the, the boat kind of pokes a hole in the Incisor,
which, uh, in the crash then Jack hurts his knee.
And Bobby says, I mean, is it your bad one? He goes, yes, yes,
yes. So obviously, you know, the Incisor is the bad one. A knee he's had
problems with before, whatever. And so then we cut straight to
we get like a smash cut to back at the house, and he's got an
air cast on, like a big one, like the whole yeah foot ankle knee.
I mean everything all the way up his leg. And so now he's kind of
you know out he's gonna be out of commission for a few days. Yeah.
Interesting choice. Yeah. Like because you for a movie you could put any type of
cast on him. I think the key was just that a couple gags for it.
There's I think there's there's a thing right. There's a point where he he talks
about it deflating on him or busting a spare tire. You know something. some joke
about it popping when he doesn't want it to, so there's that. But I think
it's all this, like, you couldn't do a cast because that would take— that would
require too much time. Yeah, right. And then it's like, I don't know what medical
technology existed at the time. Like, I feel like just a splint or something on
the knee maybe wouldn't have given the idea of, like, how much it's, you know,
keeping him from doing stuff. Right, right. Because you want him to both be dejected
but also to be there. But he still has to kind of— well, there's gotta
be a physical reason why he's not joining them. Yes. Because if it's just that
I'm sad now, it's like, well, now you're kind of a dick. Yeah, we can't
root for you as hard anymore. But if you're like taken out of commission trying
to impress your son, it's like, yeah, that was stupid, but we can understand it.
So I think that's the thing with the air cast. But yeah, it's not like—
name another movie where a character's in an air cast for a while. Literally the
only one I can think of is in Starship Troopers when the guy gets his
arm broken by the guy. But it's like, that's in the year
22-something. It's a lot more fancy for sure. It almost looks like— that one looks
like a fish tank on his arm. Right. So that's why I was like,
oh, this is— that's an odd thing Interesting. Um,
so the family, now that Jack is stuck at home and
the family's out trying to have their fun, and I think it's a rainy day,
and mom takes the kids to the movies. And it's interesting, uh, seeing the
poster because sometimes they put fake ones in, but these are all real contemporary movies
there. I noticed Footloose, Top Secret, Uncommon Valor. There was
a couple others. Yeah. Um, so they're in line at the movies, and I think
she realizes that she doesn't have money with her. She forgot her wallet. She's trying
to pay. Yep. And, uh, and she's got, you know, her daughter who's a classic
headphone teen. Yeah. Uh, and then behind them is, uh, another guy played by
John Larroquette whose son is definitely a headphone teen as well. And he offers to
pay for them, and the daughter and son kind of connect a little bit.
It's Don as the dad, John Larroquette, and his son is Greg. And, uh,
I can't remember, uh, Kerri Green's name, but, uh, the oldest daughter, she and
Greg start chatting. And even like he says to her, well, what do you listen
to? Like they're on radio stations, which is like something I realized we kind of
lost. Yeah, in the whole concept of like everything's like streaming now,
or like, you know, even just when we all went to like— we're all listening
to CDs more than the radio. It's like you can't share that experience as much
with somebody. Oh, totally. He tunes to her station, and funny enough, it's the song
Footloose by Kenny Loggins they're then both listening to and jamming to as they walk
right past the Footloose movie poster. Oh, funny. Which I thought was funny as well.
They, uh, yeah, I remember like being in traffic and you're with friends and you
see someone in their car jamming out and you're like, let's see if we can
find what station that is. Exactly. Yeah, we don't have that anymore. Um,
so, uh, back home, Jack, it's, it's raining out and the dog is
barking at him. And, you know, he gets the dog to come inside, but then
the dog left its bone outside. So part of the running gag of this
dog is it's not doing any dog-type things, right? Very lazy dog. So he's like,
hey, you go out and get the bone for me. So Jack's like, what?
You, you get— and then of course he's right out there getting it. Um,
but he ends up locked outside the house, Flintstones style.
Yeah. Yeah, and there's golf on TV, and the golf clears up
for Archie. That's right. It was all fuzzy for him. So he gets reception from
outdoors, so he's like watching it through the window. Oh my God, poor Archie.
I mean, poor Jack. Archie's kind of a dick. But yeah, and so
let's see, then they're gonna do another day with
Dawn and Greg. The rest of the family are going out on Dawn's boat.
He's apparently got a cabin cruiser, so he's a cool guy. And Jack's like,
okay, well, you guys, I still can't go. Like, you know, his leg still looks
pretty bad and everything. So he decides just to hang out, but it's like 100,
they say on the radio, we hear 105 to 110. In Florida.
Florida. Like, because the humidity's got to be 90-plus. It's really—
they drive home, if you have any familiarity, if it makes sense at all to
you, it's like, yeah, this is like not only unseasonable but like dangerously hot.
Like, this many people should not be out at the beach. Yeah, exactly. Like,
get the fire department to clear the beach completely. It's real bad. Or just
keep a steady spray of the hose like up above them so that they're sprinkled
down. The water would evaporate before it hits them.
Um, so Jack, uh, Jack ends up meeting one of
the neighbors. I think somebody comes to the door to meet him, and it's this,
uh, you know, this lady in a bikini and stuff.
Middle-aged, but yeah, yeah, very small bikini. But someone that, someone that he
would be excited to have show up at his door, you know. For sure.
Her name is Vicky. Uh, yep. And she's, and she's offering
some fresh lemonade over at her house. Exactly. Yeah, because he,
he has some lemonade, but then when she walks up, he basically like,
his jaw drops and he drops the lemonade, and she's like, oh God, you know.
And so I just made a fresh batch. He's like, oh, okay. So he comes
over to like hang out in their house. He leaves his front door open,
which is an important sort of thing that happens. And so then Vicky and Jack
are sitting on the couch in Vicky's house, and she, you know,
they're talking about what he does, everything, he's an air traffic controller. And she goes,
well, you must have really great vision and, you know, attention to detail and all
that. I mean, you must, right? And he goes, well, yeah, you know, it helps,
like, sure. And she goes, what do you think of these? And she pulls up
her bikini top. Yeah. And he's like,
Those are there, there they are. And he's like stuttering over it.
And she's just like, well, no, no, no, do they look real? And he goes,
you could've fooled me. No, no, no, I just had them enlarged. Do they look
good? And he's kinda like, oh yeah. And they're talking about like, she's like,
they cost $2,000. It was this or a power tool for Ed. And he goes,
oh, good choice. And he's like so funny 'cause he's like trying to play it
cool, but also is like so uncomfortable by this whole situation. Yeah.
And then he hears upstairs like a groaning man getting up from a nap maybe.
he goes, would that be Ed? And she goes, yeah. And he goes, if you'll
excuse me, I'm a dead man. I feel like, uh, this was
always an assumption, is that every woman who had a boob job would offer
it up to someone to show them or to feel it, right? Well, this character
does it so often, it's crazy. It's like really ridiculous. For sure.
And then Ed— so, you know, this could clearly be a scene where Ed storms
downstairs and chases him out and he has to hobble away or whatever. And the
way they do it is different, where Ed, he says, uh, oh, you're boring the
whole world with your new knock Yeah, and he's like, I gave
up a chainsaw for that, or something like a power saw for that. Um,
so yeah, somebody's met— he's met the neighbors now. Ed and Vicki seem like nice
people, if not for— except for Vicki. Much better than the we're having lunch people.
Yes, that's it. That is actually a good point. Uh, these people are definitely better.
Um, so Jack is, you know, still kind of figuring out how to fill his
day. He goes back to the Barnacle, to the bar, uh, and sits down,
and Scully asks him, what can we get you? And he goes, Drunk. Oh,
so before, uh, he goes back to the bar, we kind of keep seeing these
little cuts. Um, he had left the door open in the house, like you said,
and a lady approached the door with her kid, like, my kid needs to use
your bathroom, and can't see that anyone's there. So she's just like, we'll just
go do it, go real quick. And then while she's there, somebody walks up and
they're like, hey, do you mind if I— whatever. And then there's this like 50
people. It's like John Hughes party style, right? Suddenly,
like, he's going through the house and he, and he just kind of looks around
for a while, and then he just Starts smashing stuff. He's like slamming
the kitchen counter with his crutch, just screaming at people to leave. And they're all,
you know, going. And he heads back to the back room, to the bedroom,
uh, the primary bedroom. And there's this huge, fat, sandy,
beer-drinking, cigarette-smoking guy sitting on the bed watching The Smurfs.
Yeah, with Archie sitting next to him. With Archie. And, and Jack is like,
you see the one where Papa Smurf beat the shit out of a guy with
a crutch? Did you see that one? Uh, and that guy—
and he must have been gone 15 minutes. That guy left Left like 90 cigarette
butts and all the sand and like, oh, it's so gross.
Um, okay, so back to Jack getting drunk.
Yeah, so then Jack and Scully and Cortez and the other guys kind of hanging
out. There's all these— this sort of ragtag band of, of people that
hang out at the Barnacle, uh, or work there, and they're just hanging out getting
drunk basically. And Jack and Scully do a couple of things. They have an argument
about who would win in a fight between James Cagney and Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah, it's sort of a generational disagreement between dudes.
They play some darts, uh, one of which goes into Scully's, like, we're guessing
part of the arm of his that isn't real anymore. Like, yeah, the part that's
the, the hook. Uh, did we mention that actually, by the way? Scully has a
hook for a hand. Oh, so it is an important distinction. I think maybe like
the way we described him though, people would have pictured a hook anyway. No,
missing or artificial limbs. That's— oh, absolutely, that's going on the list. But he doesn't
have a peg leg. That's an important part. That's right, he has full feet.
So Um, but yeah, and yeah, the Cagney versus
Stallone, uh, argument is very funny. Yeah. And, uh, so Jack wants
to have Scully teach him how to sail. It's like what it comes
down to, where he's like, dude, I have nothing to like offer my kid.
Like, he's pretty down on himself. He's been injured. That would be a terrible situation.
Have you ever like been injured or like real sick on a vacation?
I have actually, uh, dealing with norovirus at Disneyland.
That was a hell of a lot of fun. Yeah.
Yeah, it's the worst. Like, you're already bummed if your vacation doesn't go perfectly
'cause you get so few of them. But then if you have to miss it
and you're feeling bad— My daughter at the time was like 3, and she did
not get super sick. Like, she, she, you know, I thought maybe 2 and a
half or something like that. I just remember, like, this is so too much information,
but I got sick. I ended up throwing up in, like, we had like a,
a, a villa with like a full kitchen, but the bathrooms were all being used
by other sick people. I ended up throwing up into the kitchen sink. Thankfully,
there's like a garbage disposal and stuff, so it's like I could get it clean.
But my daughter, is like 3 and watching me and going, Daddy. And I'm
like, I'm okay, brah. I'm okay. Daddy's okay, brah. I mean, it was just
like— and this is in Disneyland. My God, dude. Wild. What a wild fucking
time. Anyway, uh, so yeah, I can definitely, uh, uh,
commiserate with, uh, with Jack here. Yeah, for sure. So they go out to do
the sailing lesson, and Scully's showing him like how to do stuff.
And I love there's a point where, uh, Jack asks him, uh, oh, you must
know some, some good ocean songs. Or he goes, aye, I do. And he starts
singing the theme song to The Love Boat. Yeah. And the both of them sing
The Love Boat. I don't know why, but it always tickled me. That was like
all— like from the '70s through 2000, you could get away
with that as humor. I remember, uh, one time we were on a, uh,
one of those long, like all-day fishing charter things, and one of
the guys just kept singing the Gilligan's Island theme song, but like not the whole
song. He just kept saying— like there'd be a nice pleasant silence, we're just enjoying
the sea, and he'd just be like, a 3-hour tour.
And you have to like acknowledge it at first, but after a while you're like,
can we keelhaul this motherfucker? Like, I don't want this guy on
the boat. Can we jibe with the without saying jibe ho, because then maybe we'll
knock him off. Seriously, let's have the wind do its
thing here. Yeah. So let's
see. So then there is a scene, actually I made that joke, but like there's
a scene where he's showing him how to like jibe the,
I don't know exactly how it works, but you're moving the sail from one side
to the other as you're turning either from against the wind to into it or
vice versa. Like you have to like move the sail, right? And Scully's telling him
like, you say, prepare to jibe, jibe ho, and you move the thing.
And he goes, okay, jibe ho! And he just spins it, and it smacks Scully
in the head, knocks him off the boat, the whole thing. And, you know,
he's like— they're back at the bar, and he's putting ice in his head,
and he goes, I guess I'm not much of a sailor. And Scully's like,
no, you're not. And he's basically like, but you're going to be.
Threatening, like, you'll be a better sailor than I ever was. He's just
absolutely pissed at this point. He's like, I'm gonna teach you how to fucking sail.
Yeah. I do like Scully not turning against him. Yeah, of course.
That's another very Pete thing. PG aspect of this movie. There's— everyone's
like generally nice to each other except for— Right, Pelly. We get one character
we're clearly supposed to hate and everybody else is basically good, you know? Even Don,
who it's like there could have been a subplot where he tried hitting on Sandy
or whatever. I was waiting for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that, he's just,
nope, we're just gonna hang out, like kind of thing. And it's like, okay.
I mean, again, it would have been a different movie, right? Like you said,
it would have been less sort of family-oriented that way, but I could see them
doing it. Um, yeah. Oh, so now we're at— I don't know if— does it
explain how this all happened? We're at a funeral home and apparently the owner The
owner of the place that, that Jack and family are renting now,
yeah, uh, has passed away. They do mention early that he's in
intensive care. Oh, like there's somebody that can't send the check to somebody or something
like that. Oh, he makes some comments. Oh no, it's when the— when they first
arrive that morning with the breakfast and the construction sounds, he said
something about the shower, something's not working right, there's something that's broken in the house.
And he said, I called the landlord, but they tell me he's in intensive care,
so they don't know when he'll be able to like get to it or something
like that. Um, so I'm gonna call the plumber. It was something, whatever, whatever.
So they did set up that he at least has some health issue or something.
Gotcha. But yeah, he basically dies. Jack gets a call from an
executor or an assistant or whatever that person and says, come to this address.
And he shows up and it's a funeral home, and he thought he was going
to like somebody's office or whatever. Luckily he has a sport
coat in the car, which is not something I ever have, but he has one.
He throws it on over his shorts and like Hawaiian shirt. Um, he goes
inside and yeah, a, it's a full-on viewing. I mean, it's a funeral,
it's a wake, like the whole deal. Yeah. But Al is there signing documents
to buy the house the Chesters have rented that had been owned
by the departed, um, and is basically like,
tears up his check and tells him, I want you and your family out of
there Saturday, like immediately, you know, or I will come and personally throw you out.
I told you I'd get you a renter. Like, you don't belong here. He really
had this whole speech when they first had this encounter at the restaurant about how
renters come in. You think you own this place? Yeah, I've been here for 30
Years, 30 years. Like the way he says that. When Al Peli— one
of the, one of the best gags in this movie is when he's going to
actually sign the document, he flips down the open coffin
so that he can use the hard surface of the top of it. Oh God,
that's just incredibly well done for him. Yeah.
Um, kind of a Brad Wesley move. I mean, we've seen a lot of this
is just buying out, you know, spending an insane amount. This is actually more
of a Shooter McGavin type move. Oh, I think Al Peli Yeah,
we'll do like, we'll do like a bad guy spectrum at some point for,
for the newsletter or something, or a bonus thing, because I think it would be
important to place these guys like in terms of evil and,
and realism and stuff like that. Yeah, I think you're gonna have like 2 axes,
right? Yeah, yeah, like kind of like the chaotic good, the neutral, that kind of
thing. X-axis of like kind of annoying to evil, where it's like, are they just
kind of irritating you or the evil? And then the other way is like realistic
to cartoonish. Okay, you plot them and go like, because 'Cause Al Pele would be
pretty cartoonish and pretty evil. Yeah. Right? Like up there. I was also thinking Ben
Gazzara could have potentially played this role. I think he actually would've been quite good
in this as well. Absolutely. Yep, yep. But yeah,
so Jack breaks into the family. We gotta go. I'm so sorry. There's nothing I
can do. The kids are fucking distraught. You know, I don't wanna leave. I'm not
going to leave. Like all this stuff. And he's just like, what the hell do
I do? So we get a couple pensive moments of him like, you know,
looking at the ocean and thinking about stuff. I think he goes to
Al first to make the bet, right? Is that he goes and— or does he
talk to Scully first about the boat? Yeah, I think he's talking to Scully
first because he's kind of commiserating with Scully about how evil
Pelly is. They keep calling him Squid Stick. That's so good. Squid's deep.
So yeah, so they talk about how, yeah, the boat could sail.
Like, like, like basically the Barnacle was a fast ship at one time,
and with a proper sail, like, yeah, sure, you know, that's right. So he goes
back to the restaurant, the same lobby Lobster restaurant they waited at, you know,
and Al is there just sitting at the bar. And basically Jack makes him
a bet and says, this is— I got a check here for $2,000, last— the
last 2 weeks of our vacation. If I'm gonna race in that regatta against
you, if I beat you, I keep this. Or if you win, you take
this check and we leave. So you get paid and we're outta here.
If I win, I keep this check and we stay 2 more
weeks rent-free. Yeah. Sort of like, like four weeks or something. It's like this
whole kind of thing. So it's just like, you know, he's gonna. That's the bet
basically. And and Pelle smartly is like, yeah, no problem. I've won
this thing seven years in a row. Yeah. Who the fuck are you? Yes,
I'll take that. And then there's this thing where like Pelle's holding popcorn in his
hand eating it, and Jack grabs a bunch of it and goes to like
shove a bunch in his mouth and starts choking on it. And then Al also
chokes on his and is like getting his back stuff. And the sounds these two
men. Make I've never heard before or since. This is like the only place
where this particular— like, I can't even do it, it's so weird sounding
when they're both choking on this popcorn. It's like the Crazy Guys Kill It episode
of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I've seen that. Oh man, he has, he has something
caught in his throat that I won't say on a PG movie episode. Remember that?
And we fucking swear on this thing, we can talk about, we can talk about
whatever we want. Um, I do remember that. That's right. Oh my God.
So, uh, so yeah, he's gonna sail, uh, the Barnacle,
and I feel like at this point the movie has an opportunity for a great
montage that doesn't really fully— I don't
know, there's more they could have done, but it's a big boat and they end
up fixing this thing up from being like a crusty old restaurant,
floating restaurant, to like a functional boat. And if you really look at what they
do, all they do is scrape barnacles off the hull and paint it. Yep.
It's really just painting. That's the vast— it's all painting. But the kids and the
family all show up to help. Yep. And this is when I was— I mentioned
I previewed this in last week's episode, but this is, I think, one of the
few really high-quality Jimmy Buffett songs. I actually really like the
song Turning Around that plays over this montage. It's a goofy montage
song, but it's like compared to his other weirdly
country goofy stuff, this is like a good kind of, you know,
bubblegum '80s pop rock song. Like, I guess it's kind of where it is.
But anyway, it's the song Turning Around. You can't actually find it anywhere. I've looked.
Trust me, I've scoured the world for it. I think we're going to be talking
about some unfindable songs more in the future. But yeah, it's so
weird that like such a big artist, like his stuff
stuff is not just all, yeah, you know, weird ownership. I think it was
never released on one of his albums. Yeah, so it was only released in the
soundtrack. And then, you know, this is not a movie that whatever company owns the
rights to this soundtrack, like, didn't put it in their deal with Spotify or Apple
or whoever to, like, include it. It's for whatever reason, because probably Spotify's like,
yeah, we don't want that stuff. So, um, so they, they got the boat,
they got it painted, they got the barnacles scraped, they got it sanded and all
this stuff, but they have no sail. And this has been an issue that Scully
has this dude who's this like Scottish, like,
boat expert, whatever guy, and, and he sends him off in search
of a sail. So like, he's still looking, but they don't really have a sail.
So they're— the boat race is, uh, approaching. Yeah. And they talk
about— they got nothing. And they talk about how the mast of the Barnacle is
particularly tall. He makes a big deal about it being 50 feet high,
which it seems like is maybe larger than like the average boats or something.
I really don't know that much about like racing sailboats, like how big a mast
would normally be. Yeah. But I also get the sense that bigger, you know,
taller mast, bigger sail, potentially faster, right? 'Cause you'd think it could grab
more wind, right? Grab more wind, yeah. That's what you figure. So they do this
thing and they christen the boat again, rechristen it, whatever, and like cheers to the
crew. And this is when he tells the kids they can race with him.
He's like, well, the crew of the Barnacle raise their glasses, and the kids don't.
And he goes, something wrong with your arms? Raise your glasses. Like, oh, we get
to go with you? Which is like such a cool dad moment. Yeah, yeah.
And really makes sense. Like, it works, like, that they would bring them along 'cause
it's a big boat. It's not like they're gonna be— it's not like one of
those racing boats these days. It's not like weight is a concern. So go ahead
and bring everybody. on, because weight is not an issue
and will never be an issue. Good point, very good point.
Uh, I will say though, it's not like modern, like, uh, America's Cup stuff where
the boats heel, you know, 20 degrees or whatever. It's like, would be dangerous.
Nice upright sailing. That— I bet, I bet that's probably one of the most fun
things you can ever do, but I would just be like, yeah, I'm gonna fall
off. Like, die. My knee falling off is so much worse than how much fun
I could have here. Exactly. But they still don't have a sail, and they even
say something like, where's Angus? He's like, Last I heard, Savannah. So he's now back
up into Georgia looking for, you know, this enormous sail. But of course,
Angus arrives at the last moment, the day of the regatta with the sail.
And I don't know, again, much about like stringing a sail on a mast,
but apparently it's not a complicated thing. You hook it to a piece of rope
and you pull, I guess, right? 'Cause they get it hooked up and they're on
their way towards the regatta. And they start the race. They're able to make it
on time and they start the race with everybody else. They're kind of trailing for
the most part. Mm-hmm. And, uh, at one point Cortez comes up
from, from down below and is eating one of the fish fingers, one of Scully's
catches of the day. Yeah. And Scully says, where'd you get that? And he goes,
from the freezer. He goes, didn't I tell you to remove, like, remover all,
you know? He goes, oh, I thought you said don't remove the— thank
God for my terrible Spanish, or whatever. And it's like, so then they start throwing
everything off the boat. Yeah. Not just the fish, like packages,
but the freezers and the whatever freezer, all this, all this equipment,
which obviously was weighing them down. Because there's $1,000 There's millions of dollars at stake
here, so get all this shit off the boat. It does seem like Scully is
ruining the chances of his restaurant existing after this moment. Yeah, right. I'm gonna throw
away my ability to make money, but at least, uh, this guy I just met
will be able to stay in after a couple weeks. Exactly. I've known Jack Chester
for 3 weeks. This is clearly my closest friend. Um, there's also a
funny thing I never noticed, uh, watching this in the past, uh, but I noticed
this time, which is Laurie, the little one, you know, 3 or 4 years old,
the real little daughter, uh, hangs out with Yorku, this like old, uh, Asian man,
in, in pretty much under like Like in the cabin, they're like she's braiding his
hair. He's braiding the doll's hair. It's very cute or brushing whatever it is.
Very cute. And we see her ask her mommy, "Is it okay if I hang
out down here with the orca?" And she's like, "Yeah." I never really thought about
it before, but I think about this. I'm like, "Oh my god! Could you imagine
if that girl, like canonically within the story, was just on deck?
Like nobody, like all we would be thinking about the whole time is, 'Oh my
god! Where's Lori? Oh my god! Where's Lori? Oh my god! Where's Lori?' None of
them are wearing life vests. No, right? There's no like protective equipment in that sense.
If If she were up on deck somewhere, like, it would've been
absolutely, like, just nerve-wracking. Yeah. You know,
watching this as a dad now, it's like, where the hell's the 3-year-old? Like,
you can't just leave her. But okay, she's babied. She's basically got a nanny
down below and they're just hanging out. So cool. But yeah, but it's funny.
But the other kids are helping. The other 2 older kids, they're pulling ropes,
they're doing different stuff and all this stuff. And they start catching up once
the frozen fish in the freezers all get tossed off the boat.
They start to catch up, not— it's not quite enough.
And Angus says something about, if I'd only had 2
more yards of sail, that might have done it. And Jack—
we don't really see what happens at first, but suddenly the Barnacle is catching up
to and passing the Incisor as they get near the end. And we— as we're
passing Pele, he's like, what is going on? Like, where are they getting this wind
from? What is that? He actually starts blowing into his own sail, which is a
funny moment. Yeah, yeah, it's just very funny. That's a good, like, meltdown.
Yeah, you don't know what to do, you know? kind of thing. And then we
look, and as Jack waves at him as he goes by, he's not wearing
pants. So he strung his pants up into, you know,
the mast or whatever. And it's— I like— I,
I have always wondered and never really looked into whether this would actually have
any effect whatsoever. The pants themselves have holes at the bottom of
them, don't they? Did he tie off the ankles? Like, how does this even work?
I don't know. I mean, you're not gonna accelerate like that with a little
tiny bit more Of, of sale. Um, but they had to end it
on a wacky, uh, on a wacky note. Exactly. And we gotta win. This is
definitely a story he has to win this race. Exactly. Sucks. So,
so the Barnacle wins. Yeah. And it pretty much
ends right there. It kind of does. We get a little bit of celebration,
like, uh, there's not them back at the beach house or whatever. It's all just
kind of— yep, we just get some people celebrating. Everybody apparently, because it shows Don
and Greg, it shows Vicki and Ed, it shows all these people. Everyone in the
town is thrilled to watch this guy lose. Like, I bet he's one of those
guys that can They're just like, fucking somebody beat him. There's a couple of kind
of funny moments that happen here. Vicki has also bugged one of the judges to
look at her boobs, and Ed comes by to chastise her
about it again. And then at one point, Jack actually is able to use some
of his air traffic controller knowledge to help.
They're trying to figure out how to get more wind or get into a better
position. That's right, he notices some kind of weather pattern or something. A small airplane,
like a little prop jet, Yeah, plane does
this weird dive and it's kind of like clearly dealing with some kind of a
wind abnormality. Yeah. And he looks at it and he goes, oh, here we
go. And he starts turning and Scully's like, what are you doing? He goes,
I just noticed a low-altitude funnel gunnel. I— that could or
might not be the right thing, I don't know. But like Scully repeats it as
if he's never heard it before. It's funny. Can't you see we're in a funnel
gunnel? Like, it's just very funny. Yeah. So,
so he saved the day and got an extra couple weeks at a place that
kind of had been established sucks. Yes, but, but he's made some friends
and it's a different place to him now. It's the principle of the thing too,
right? Like, he didn't— he was not about to let some— he can't get bullied
by this guy in front of his kids. Like, the kids are aware of the
challenge and stuff, and you got to come through. So, uh,
yeah, man, that is, that is Summer Rental. You want
to, you want to kick us off with your review, Steve? I do. I— so
this is a movie that I kind of knew going into this I was
going to I was going to
be generous with my score, and I knew I was. I just wasn't sure how
generous I was going to be. And I think the appropriate score for
me to give this that incorporates my nostalgia bump, but really does kind of take
a look at like watching this movie, you know, for the first time in probably
like 5 to 10 years. It's been a little while since I've seen it.
And it's something that I still found it very enjoyable. It's such
a clean PG, which you don't see a ton of. Candy and Krennic and Torn
are all really wonderful playing very, very broad but interesting characters.
And I really still very much enjoyed this front to back. So with my admitted
bump for nostalgia, I'm going to a 3.5 out of 5 on Summer Rental.
That's where I land. And I think, you know, yeah, I think that's where I'm
at. What about you? Okay, yeah, so I mean, the, the main— the 3 main
characters, I thought, yeah, I like all the actors. Those performances were
pretty good. I don't know if it's because it's a PG
or if they didn't— like, I read something that John Candy had some comment
about this after it came out. that like the studio needed to fill a spot
and we had to kind of rush to make this movie. So it feels like
it's not a fully realized version of, of what it could be.
Um, there was missed opportunities for jokes, I felt.
Uh, especially like the pants thing at the end with the sail was
fine, but you were already set for like a, a couple of big sail reveals.
Like during that boat race, there was twice where they put an extra sail up,
and it was never— it wasn't like a pirate flag or anything like interesting.
Yeah. It was just kind of too down the middle. Like,
there's a chunk of this movie that I like, kind of
like from when they get kicked out of the first house to when the boat
sail sailing training starts. Okay, I think it's pretty good. That race
at the end is like 12 or 15 minutes or something, and I think it's
kind of boring. Yeah, kind of isn't that great. But this
is an enjoyable movie. It's not offensive. It's good to see Candy doing his thing.
We don't have a lot of John Candy. So I'm giving this like a mild
not recommend. But, you know, I'm not gonna unfriend you if you want
to see it. So this is a 2.5 out of 5 for me. I think,
you know, we see why we love John Candy, but also I just wish that
they'd put a little more into it, if they went through the script a couple
more times and really, like, made it more robust. Yeah. And,
like, the John Larroquette character seemed like— did they just edit this
in a way that ignored that whole subplot? You know, did they have an hour
and 48-minute movie planned and they had to chop it down under
an hour and a half? Or something, because it seems really weird that he's in
it. Period. Like they didn't need to give him the backstory he had. Yeah,
yeah, that's true. But but that kind of stuff happens all the time, and it's
he's like a bigger actor than I would think for such a small. Was he
in eighty-five though? I can't. When did like what did Night Court? That was going
that breakout. He was yeah. I shall do some Larroquette research.
I don't know. But yeah, two and a half out of five for me.
I I appreciated watching this, and it was great to to chat with you about
it and see. like, you know, what you remembered from it as a, as a
kid. And so fun one. 6 out of 10 then from the 2 dads.
I think it's just about right. It's kind of right in line with the IMDb
score, give or take. And I think it's smart that when you look at this,
because I probably would have been about a 2.5 without my little nostalgia bump for
it. Yeah. And so, you know, this movie being legit 5 out of 10,
bumped a point by my nostalgia, seems about right. Yeah, it really is just down
the middle of like, there's nothing wrong with this movie, but really nothing about it
is like noteworthy per se. Right. Riptorne It really
is a lot of fun when Rip Torn talks with that accent. If you're ever
though, like, if you're staying at like an Airbnb or something and they don't
have like cable or streaming, you know, sometimes you stay somewhere and they just have
like a small collection of videos. Yeah, this would be a great one to be
there, you know. So you're somewhere with your kids, it's perfect. If you have 25
to choose from, yeah, this is a good one to pick. And this is a
movie kids from any young age, they get a kick out of it. There are
parts of it they would enjoy, you know, probably. Pretty young and nothing offensive about
it. So, all right, that was Summer Rental, 6 out of 10. Nick, where are
we going next? Uh, so next, uh,
next week we're going somewhere a little bit different. We're gonna leave the United States,
uh, we're gonna go to Hong Kong, and, uh, and we're gonna follow the 100%
true, true story of real life, true real guy Frank Dux.
Oh, okay. A very famous military man and martial artist played by
Jean-Claude Van And we are going to participate in the Kumite.
Oh. As we watch Bloodsport.
Nice. You ever seen Bloodsport? I have not. Oh yeah,
this was— this is one— this is one that missed me, uh, along,
along the, the years. I was never a big Jean-Claude Van Damme
guy just in general. I think I saw, uh, Hard Target and
then Street Fighter. Like, that was sort of my Jean-Claude Van Damme history. Street Fighter
is a rough one for For a lot of reasons. Although Raul Julia was wonderful.
I know, but that movie killed Raul Julia though. Yeah, it did. I think he
had cancer before that, but that's okay. Uh, anyway, yeah, Bloodsport. Haven't seen it.
Very much looking forward to it, uh, because it'll fill in a hole that I
have in my moviegoing experience. So that's what we'll
watch next week. That's a wrap. So if you like what you hear, please consider
heading over to Apple or Spotify and leaving us a 5-star review. It helps new
folks find the show. Be sure to check out our website at twodadsonemovie.com.
That's the number 2 and the number 1. There you can explore the movies we've
covered, sign up for our newsletter, The Rewind, and even get sneak previews of upcoming
episodes. Once again, this has been Summer Rental, another episode of 2 Dads
1 Movie. I'm Steve. And I'm Nic. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll
catch you next week. Thanks,