WEBVTT 00:00.737 --> 00:04.422 Oh, fuck 'em. Of course you can pass as an uncle. 00:05.464 --> 00:08.685 You're a great performer. I'm a great director. Together we can 00:09.185 --> 00:12.387 do almost anything. Oh, Armand, really? Absolutely. Oh. 00:12.852 --> 00:16.505 We've got 5 hours. All right, first, get your pinky down. 00:16.682 --> 00:20.367 It's up again. All right, and your pacha— 00:20.867 --> 00:24.165 Oh my God, are you crazy? What are you doing? 00:24.229 --> 00:28.028 Stop screaming. I'm teaching you to act like a man. All right. 00:28.499 --> 00:31.520 All right. Now, this is a dinner party. 00:32.072 --> 00:35.591 Let's work with food. All right? Spread some mustard 00:36.091 --> 00:39.860 on the toast. Don't use the 00:40.360 --> 00:45.582 spoon, and don't dribble little dots of mustard. No? No. You take your knife and 00:45.663 --> 00:48.994 you smear. Men smear. 00:49.076 --> 00:54.463 Smear. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. 00:55.012 --> 00:58.547 Get the goddamn pinky down! All right, make your fingers like iron. All right, 00:58.563 --> 01:01.403 yeah, and stop trembling. Hold the knife boldly. 01:01.468 --> 01:05.502 Yes! Oh God, I pierced the toast! 01:07.987 --> 01:11.341 It's 2 Dads 1 Movie. It's the podcast where 2 middle-aged 01:11.841 --> 01:15.111 dads sit around and shoot the shit about the movies of the '80s and '90s. 01:15.240 --> 01:18.559 Here are your hosts, Steve Paulo and Nic Briana. 01:20.138 --> 01:23.878 Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of 2 Dads, 1 Movie. I'm Steve. 01:23.927 --> 01:27.217 And I'm Nic. And today we have gone to South Beach in 01:27.717 --> 01:30.765 the mid-'90s, and we are watching the comedy classic 01:31.391 --> 01:34.569 The Birdcage, based off the play La Cage aux Folles 01:35.067 --> 01:38.663 by Jean Poiret and starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. This is 01:38.840 --> 01:41.617 one that I brought to us, and I'll be honest, it's because it is one 01:41.649 --> 01:44.618 of my favorite movies of all time. This is a movie that my wife and 01:45.118 --> 01:48.772 I, like, continue to quote to each other. It's one that I saw first in 01:48.788 --> 01:52.234 high school. Um, I was in theater. Uh, this seemed like a 01:52.250 --> 01:55.518 big movie with theater kids. I feel like, yeah, for whatever reason, maybe because it 01:56.018 --> 01:57.826 was based on a play— not that I like saw the play or anything, 01:57.858 --> 02:00.918 but, uh, you know, it just— But the world of it too. 02:01.191 --> 02:04.428 Yeah, like, the producers of a performance and all that stuff. Being in 02:04.928 --> 02:08.257 '96, being a very, very queer-friendly, gay-friendly kind of concept, and, and, 02:08.434 --> 02:11.638 and, and, you know, the play being centered around like that 02:12.138 --> 02:15.692 identity, I think also is a thing that maybe like some elements of mainstream audiences 02:15.789 --> 02:18.465 kind of would be like, meh, but like theater kids in particular were sort of 02:18.965 --> 02:21.477 in tune with, you know, I think the first few kids I knew growing up 02:21.977 --> 02:24.714 who came out of the closet were theater people, you know, just in general. 02:25.243 --> 02:28.047 And so yeah, this really hit in that sense for me, but it's just so 02:28.547 --> 02:32.037 funny. And this was my first real kind of like understanding of who Nathan Lane 02:32.213 --> 02:35.402 is. Obviously he was the voice of Timon a few years earlier in The Lion 02:35.514 --> 02:38.863 King, but like, you know, you don't see him if he's animating or voicing an 02:39.363 --> 02:42.827 animated character. Right. He is, Goddamn comedy genius, I think, Nathan Lane. 02:42.971 --> 02:46.281 So very, very happy with The Birdcage. Uh, Nic, was this one 02:46.781 --> 02:50.056 that you'd seen before? Never seen it before. Yeah, so, uh, and it— 02:50.184 --> 02:53.718 you know, I like Robin Williams a lot. Obviously, who doesn't? If you find someone 02:54.218 --> 02:56.915 who says, yeah, I don't like Robin Williams, like, fuck out of here, man. 02:57.413 --> 03:00.610 Go live in Antarctica, do some research. Clear red flag. Go find The 03:00.642 --> 03:03.871 Thing. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so I 03:04.371 --> 03:07.502 don't know, this just got by me. And not being in theater, uh, 03:08.602 --> 03:11.526 you know, I didn't have the same kind of circles and wasn't being shown the 03:12.026 --> 03:14.369 same stuff. And then at a certain point in my life, and I think I've 03:14.869 --> 03:18.404 talked about this before, like late '90s, early 2000s, I only watched 03:18.904 --> 03:21.417 like action movies and stuff. Like I had the most garbage, 03:22.052 --> 03:25.587 like the equivalent of a fast food diet of films for like 03:25.668 --> 03:28.751 a big stretch of my life. So a lot of this stuff missed me for 03:29.251 --> 03:32.189 a long time. And I got back into these types of movies maybe the last 03:32.221 --> 03:35.530 like 10 years. But, uh, yeah, I'd never seen this one before. So. Okay. 03:35.790 --> 03:38.170 I heard a lot about it. I know a lot of people are big fans 03:38.670 --> 03:42.450 of it, so, uh, always down to see some Bobby Williams. Yeah, absolutely. Bobby. 03:42.950 --> 03:44.340 I don't know if I've ever heard him called Bobby. I know. I like that. 03:44.910 --> 03:47.050 No, I think you should stick with that. That should be your thing. From now 03:47.550 --> 03:50.070 on, he's Bobby to you. I like that. Um, all right, let's jump into the 03:50.570 --> 03:53.770 facts on The Birdcage. Uh, the movie The Birdcage was released 03:54.270 --> 03:57.900 on March 8th, 1996 with an R rating and a running time of 117 minutes. 03:58.150 --> 04:01.550 It was directed by Mike Nichols, and the screenplay was written by Elaine May and 04:02.050 --> 04:05.200 based, as I said, on the play by Jean Poiret. It stars Robin Williams, 04:05.248 --> 04:09.159 Gene Hackman, and Nathan Lane. Scores on Rotten Tomatoes, a really healthy 04:09.272 --> 04:12.782 85%. On IMDb, slightly like lower kind 04:12.798 --> 04:15.860 of in comparison, 7.3. Not quite as popular on IMDb. 04:16.405 --> 04:19.643 We get a thumbs down from the schmuck Gene Siskel and a thumbs up from 04:19.691 --> 04:23.667 the homie Roger Ebert. Awards, quite a bit of award activity actually 04:23.683 --> 04:27.033 on this one. So we have an Oscar nomination in '97 04:27.065 --> 04:30.191 for art direction. It didn't win, but I mean, yeah, really stunning sets and the 04:30.691 --> 04:34.199 way things are decorated. Yeah, visually, like capturing that like South Beach, Miami kind 04:34.699 --> 04:37.244 of feeling, the colors and the vibrance. of it was really nice. Also, whoever did 04:37.744 --> 04:41.332 the costumes, there were more thongs in this movie than maybe any movie ever created. 04:41.492 --> 04:45.388 Very interesting. It won a couple of awards at the 1997 04:45.500 --> 04:48.818 Blockbuster Awards, which we have to remind ourselves every once in a while were 04:48.930 --> 04:52.922 a thing that existed. That's right. Gene Hackman and Dianne 04:52.954 --> 04:57.090 Wiest won the Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress awards at Blockbuster 04:57.186 --> 05:01.017 for this. In '97 at the Golden Globes, we got nominations 05:01.113 --> 05:04.287 for Best Comedy Picture and for Best Actor in a Comedy for 05:04.787 --> 05:08.583 Nathan Lane. No wins there though. In the 1997 MTV Movie Awards, It was nominated 05:08.599 --> 05:11.757 for the Best On-Screen Duo for Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, 05:11.950 --> 05:15.685 and Best Comedic Performance for Robin Williams, but also no wins there. Yeah. One other 05:15.717 --> 05:19.949 kind of, yeah, I don't know about major, but larger award win at 05:20.449 --> 05:23.459 the '97 SAG Awards, or the Screen Actors Guild, now called the Actors Awards, 05:24.116 --> 05:28.204 the entire cast won Outstanding Performance by a Cast. Okay. So sort of a 05:28.704 --> 05:32.003 joint award there. On a $31 million budget, they pulled 05:32.051 --> 05:35.257 in $185.3 million at the box office for just 05:35.273 --> 05:38.944 under 6 times what it cost to make. And again, for an R-rated movie that's 05:38.960 --> 05:42.266 not like a thriller or an action movie or 05:42.766 --> 05:46.101 whatever. That's actually pretty impressive, I think, for sort of an R-rated comedy, uh, 05:46.181 --> 05:49.102 to pull in that kind of money. Not— yeah, for sure. Not being like a 05:49.150 --> 05:52.681 Terminator 2 type thing. Yeah, I think I looked up like the highest 05:53.181 --> 05:57.303 grossing R-rated movies of the '90s, and basically across the board it was like action 05:57.399 --> 06:00.624 movies and Basic Instinct. That was basically it. 06:00.961 --> 06:03.722 So, and this movie makes a lot of sense. None of those tones really. 06:03.914 --> 06:07.333 So, all right, so let's jump into the actual film, 06:07.365 --> 06:10.832 The Birdcage. We start off with South Beach, Miami, 06:10.881 --> 06:14.672 Florida. Zooming in over the water, we get the whole kind of vibe of like, 06:14.688 --> 06:17.693 you know, Ocean Boulevard there in South Beach. All the clubs, 06:17.869 --> 06:21.500 neon signs, people walking around dressed in very little clothing, a lot of 06:22.000 --> 06:24.874 bathing suits, a lot of thongs. As I said, men and women, plenty of thongs. 06:25.340 --> 06:28.907 Um, we zoom in on the Birdcage, which is the name of a 06:29.407 --> 06:33.775 nightclub, and on the outside it says, uh, Armond Goldman presents Starina 06:33.791 --> 06:37.350 and the Goldman Girls. And this is a, uh, Not Golden Girls, but Golden 06:37.850 --> 06:40.330 Girls. I thought it was cute. Uh, this is a drag club. They're, they're a 06:40.830 --> 06:43.370 drag show. Um, so we head inside along with some customers, and we're just getting 06:43.870 --> 06:46.730 like a vibe, getting like the feel for the place. Uh, and it's a cool 06:47.230 --> 06:50.130 shot, like where it kind of flies across the water, like to the front of 06:50.630 --> 06:53.150 the club, and then right inside. And then seamlessly kind of we're now following people 06:53.650 --> 06:56.770 in rather than flying, right? Which is very neat. Good, good, good editing there. 06:57.270 --> 07:00.770 And then, uh, we're quickly— we see, uh, Robin Williams' character Armond Goldman, 07:01.270 --> 07:04.190 and he is clearly the club's owner. I mean, his name's on the you know, 07:04.690 --> 07:07.330 marquee, but also like he's kind of checking on everything. He's talking to the host 07:07.830 --> 07:10.090 and he's talking to the bartender and he's kind of making sure everything's in place 07:10.590 --> 07:13.050 and all this stuff. And, uh, a waiter comes up to him and says, 07:13.550 --> 07:15.590 you know, uh, the Kennedys are here for, you know, 3rd time this week. 07:16.090 --> 07:19.190 You want to pick up their, uh, tab? And he goes, is it— what does 07:19.690 --> 07:21.690 he say? Is it Teddy? And he goes, no, it's the younger ones. I wish 07:22.190 --> 07:26.190 we could get Teddy. You know, it's funny, A, to want Teddy Kennedy anywhere is, 07:26.690 --> 07:29.290 is— Right, right. Odd. But then I thought to myself, the younger ones. So is 07:29.790 --> 07:33.160 this like RFK Jr.? RFK Jr. absolutely is there, dude. And I think 07:33.660 --> 07:36.360 he was served the free coffee that screwed up his voice forever. That must be 07:36.860 --> 07:39.350 it. Yeah. Yeah. And I asked for green tea, 07:39.660 --> 07:42.760 like, oh my God, that or it was snorting all the cocaine off the toilet 07:43.260 --> 07:47.140 seats. That was prime drug time for sure. Yeah. So that was definitely something 07:47.640 --> 07:50.640 I wrote down where I was like, oh, that was RFK Jr. era. Imagine what 07:51.140 --> 07:55.120 a nightmare that guy was in his like mid-30s or whatever. Oh man. 07:55.620 --> 07:59.080 Yeah. So, but it is funny how Albert's just like, all right, well, it's not 07:59.580 --> 08:02.700 Ted, then they get free coffee. Yeah. I also think I want to point out 08:03.200 --> 08:06.280 here that like Armand is wearing throughout 08:06.780 --> 08:10.020 most of this movie, but certainly they're very obvious in this, in this opening scene, 08:10.520 --> 08:14.000 what I think look like the most comfortable pair of pants that have ever existed. 08:14.200 --> 08:16.820 Like, I don't think I could pull them off because they're really flowy and whatever, 08:17.320 --> 08:21.260 but they look so comfortable. Like, in the heat in Florida, flowy linen 08:21.760 --> 08:24.620 pants. He has some outfits in this movie where I am just like, dude, 08:25.120 --> 08:28.340 my, my buttons feel tighter just looking at him. Like, even though I'm not wearing 08:28.840 --> 08:31.100 anything tight, it just seems so comfortable to live in. I may not be able 08:31.600 --> 08:34.100 to go out in it, but I would absolutely lounge around my house wearing that. 08:34.600 --> 08:38.164 For sure. Like, for sure. Oh man. So, so they're, so they're 08:38.664 --> 08:42.197 telling him like they're, they're kind of in this performance, this We Are Family performance, 08:42.325 --> 08:45.491 and, uh, coming up is Starina. Like, Starina's on in 5, 08:45.555 --> 08:49.444 and Starina is the Nathan Lane, the character that Nathan Lane's character Albert 08:49.492 --> 08:52.754 plays. Exactly, right on stage. Um, and you know, 08:53.333 --> 08:56.321 Albert is having a bit of a meltdown like leading up to this. Yeah. 08:56.386 --> 08:59.921 And so, so Armond runs upstairs to like see what's going on, and Albert like 08:59.937 --> 09:03.037 locks himself in his dressing room, I guess. He's got, you know, like a room 09:03.134 --> 09:06.844 there because it's like their apartment basically is like above. Yeah, the club and 09:07.344 --> 09:09.719 their apartment. It took me a minute to figure out the geography of this until 09:10.219 --> 09:12.787 I realized, okay, that like they live right upstairs. And they've even got like a 09:13.287 --> 09:17.525 little rooftop pool. Yeah, it's a really nice place. Yeah. Um, but, uh, Hank Azaria 09:18.025 --> 09:21.412 plays their maid or, or, you know, houseman or whatever. Uh, uh, 09:21.685 --> 09:25.380 Agador. Uh, Guatemalan thick accent. Hank Azaria looks 09:25.880 --> 09:28.766 great in this. He's obviously Like he looks ripped. Like I don't ever remember him 09:28.830 --> 09:31.589 necessarily being a dude who's ripped, but he's like jacked in this movie. 09:31.653 --> 09:35.086 He's always— what was the one where he was like the scuba instructor 09:35.586 --> 09:38.871 guy? I feel like there's a few movies where it's like, whoa, dude, what the 09:39.371 --> 09:41.999 hell? You can't be able to do every voice and be able to do like 09:42.499 --> 09:45.832 one-arm push-ups on your pinkies. Are you for scuba? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 09:46.490 --> 09:49.746 But basically, like, Armand is trying to like knock down 09:49.778 --> 09:53.387 the door because Albert's refusing to come out. He finally does actually bust down 09:53.887 --> 09:56.140 the door, and it's just a lot of chaos. I do love a line in 09:56.640 --> 09:59.580 here where Albert finally agrees, 'cause they're gonna say, oh, well, we'll put on so-and-so, 10:00.080 --> 10:03.020 some other actor to be Starina. And Albert's like, no, like, the people came to 10:03.520 --> 10:05.340 see Starina, you know? And he's like, kind of like, okay, fine, I'll do it. 10:05.660 --> 10:09.380 And but he goes to Agador, Agador, I need some Pyrin tablets, please. And Armand's 10:09.880 --> 10:11.660 like, well, what the fuck? What are you— what, you giving her drugs? You're giving 10:12.160 --> 10:15.220 him drugs? What the fuck is going on? And Agador's like, it's Asparin with the 10:15.720 --> 10:19.440 A and the S scraped off. Oh, that's brilliant. Like, let him think it's something 10:19.940 --> 10:22.370 else. Good gag there, for sure. Um, 10:23.272 --> 10:27.167 Let's see. Oh, so so he finally 10:27.183 --> 10:31.045 agrees, and like kind of under the threat of okay, well we'll let somebody else 10:31.545 --> 10:34.828 do it. And that's like it's it's funny kind of throughout 10:35.758 --> 10:39.668 this film how the characters all know what the other person's limit actually 10:39.764 --> 10:42.874 is. Right. Like so they're able to call each other's bluffs pretty accurately. 10:43.066 --> 10:45.919 Yeah. Like throughout this movie with his son and like you know all this other 10:45.951 --> 10:49.445 stuff. That's a good point. So yeah, so Albert just finally agrees 10:49.477 --> 10:52.930 to go on. Right. But then. Armand is— 10:53.430 --> 10:57.150 he's got things to do, right? He's meeting somebody, and Albert is like suspicious because 10:57.650 --> 11:00.210 he said that, well, why did it— you know, is there another man? Because they're 11:00.710 --> 11:02.910 going through a breakup. It's kind of hinting at this. Well, it's right. I think 11:03.410 --> 11:06.750 it's more just Albert's just really, um, 11:07.250 --> 11:10.090 like, what's the term, like, like not very confident, like lacking in self-confidence in their 11:10.590 --> 11:13.630 relationship. And he says like, there's white wine in the fridge. Yeah, I only drink 11:14.130 --> 11:16.370 red. You only drink red. And Armand's like trying to play it off, and he's 11:16.870 --> 11:19.970 like, you know, oh, I switched to white because red has tannins. Albert's not buying 11:20.470 --> 11:23.350 it. Correct. Well, yes, absolutely. I just wanted to make sure the wine stuff was 11:23.850 --> 11:27.490 factually correct. Tannins come from contact with the skins of the grapes. 11:27.990 --> 11:30.910 Oh, okay. And you don't generally get very much skin contact in white wine. 11:31.410 --> 11:33.270 You get a little tiny bit in rosé wine and then a lot in red 11:33.770 --> 11:35.890 wine to get the coloring. That's where all the pigment lives and that's where the 11:36.390 --> 11:40.190 tannins come from. And tannins also, if you've ever had old tea, 11:40.690 --> 11:42.430 like you make a hot tea and then it gets cold and it kind of 11:42.930 --> 11:45.130 whatever, and then you taste it and it's extra bitter. Yeah, yeah. That's tannin. 11:45.630 --> 11:48.810 That's literally the same thing. It's like plant material like basically does that. So a 11:49.310 --> 11:51.885 little education for everybody. But yeah, I love there's a moment where Uh, uh, 11:52.478 --> 11:54.964 Albert is like on top of Armand, is like knocking, he's like, hit me, 11:55.044 --> 11:57.755 you wanna hit me, don't you? And he goes, he's like, and he checks his 11:57.851 --> 12:00.016 watch to see how much time he has left, and then he pushes him by 12:00.033 --> 12:03.625 the face off of him. Um, but basically like Armand is meeting somebody, 12:03.721 --> 12:05.919 and so he goes back upstairs, tells Agador to take the night off. 12:06.753 --> 12:09.896 Agador's dancing to Gloria Estefan. Yeah. Uh, and there's this 12:10.396 --> 12:13.088 point where he, he takes the, the, the radio or whatever and goes, come on, 12:13.104 --> 12:16.841 Gloria. And that's something my wife Heather and I still say to each other all 12:16.873 --> 12:20.836 the time. For— we find ways to fit come on, Gloria into 12:20.900 --> 12:24.738 as much of our conversation as possible. Um, nice. But sure enough, he gives Agador 12:25.238 --> 12:27.694 the night off. So it's like, you know, we're right with Albert here, led to 12:28.194 --> 12:31.725 believe Armand is, is stepping out. Right, because he doesn't give any information or whatever. 12:32.271 --> 12:36.238 Um, but it turns out— yeah, so, so somebody comes in, younger looking guy, 12:36.543 --> 12:39.739 handsome guy. And I don't know if I just got this wrong the first time, 12:39.755 --> 12:42.229 but I feel like they're leaving it very up in the air. Like the way 12:42.245 --> 12:45.553 that they greet each other, I was still just like, yeah, okay, this is like 12:45.618 --> 12:48.690 the other guy, right? Um, and, and it's kind of set 12:49.190 --> 12:52.270 up that way, and there's a lot of conversation. Yeah. Uh, 12:52.770 --> 12:55.610 before it's revealed that this is Val, this is their son. Yes. Right. Well, 12:56.110 --> 13:00.110 this is, this is specifically Armand's biological son, but I think Albert has been in 13:00.610 --> 13:03.430 his life for like mo— his whole life, for most of his life. Exactly. 13:03.930 --> 13:07.830 Absolutely. Um, this guy sucks ass. 13:08.330 --> 13:11.590 I don't like the actor. I don't like the character. Yep. Uh, 13:12.090 --> 13:14.530 I was just like, I can't say— he has that kind of like John Mulaney 13:15.030 --> 13:16.730 face where his eyes seem to be drifting further apart from each other over time. 13:18.530 --> 13:21.849 time. Um, and I like John Mulaney, but, uh, yeah, this guy 13:22.349 --> 13:26.323 was killing me the whole time. It should come as no surprise that basically everybody 13:26.823 --> 13:30.556 else in this cast is, you know, at this point was 13:30.652 --> 13:34.501 already famous, right? Or became quite famous after 13:35.001 --> 13:38.317 the fact. Because you have, you have Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Gene Hackman. 13:38.365 --> 13:42.005 That's sort of your top billing, right? All, you know, Nathan Lane, this was near 13:42.053 --> 13:44.346 the beginning. This was before he did The Producers. This is like near the beginning 13:44.379 --> 13:47.605 of his like stardom. But like Huge star, right? Gene Hackman, Robin Williams, 13:47.653 --> 13:51.219 massive, massive stars. Diane Wiest, massive star. Hank Azaria, you know, 13:51.283 --> 13:54.752 better known for voice work pre-this, but like— but he's been steadily 13:55.252 --> 13:58.735 involved in stuff. Absolutely doing stuff. Calista Flockhart, I think pretty unknown here, but then 13:58.751 --> 14:02.622 became Ally McBeal, and like, you know, that's a huge thing. Christine Baranski is a 14:02.767 --> 14:06.188 fucking goddamn treasure, and she's in a big chunk of this. And then 14:06.220 --> 14:10.540 there's this guy. Yeah. And he's just there. And Val is by 14:10.637 --> 14:14.090 far the shittiest character. Yeah, he's the character that it's hard 14:14.590 --> 14:17.840 to like root for him in any way, 'cause you're just like— I mean, 14:18.340 --> 14:21.760 what you're doing is sympathizing with a parent who has a pain-in-the-ass kid who's just 14:22.260 --> 14:25.340 trying to do what they can to make them happy. It's a weird trail of, 14:25.840 --> 14:29.060 like, who's to blame, 'cause it's sort of like, all right, like, look, Val can't 14:29.560 --> 14:31.660 control who he fell in love with, and who he fell in love with seems 14:32.160 --> 14:35.520 like a very lovely person, Barbara. We learn about this in a second, but, 14:36.020 --> 14:39.420 like, basically, he's getting married. Val tells his dad, Armand, I'm getting married. 14:39.920 --> 14:43.120 It's a girl. I met her at school, like, whatever. And Armand's like, you're gonna 14:43.620 --> 14:44.660 throw your life away, like, all this kind of stuff. And he's, like, not cool 14:45.160 --> 14:47.898 with it. They even do this little— thing where he's like, if you do this, 14:47.914 --> 14:51.568 you leave here, you never come back. Like, you're cut off forever. Yeah. Val calls 14:51.600 --> 14:54.083 the bluff and is like, okay, Dad, sorry, nice to see you, nice to know 14:54.148 --> 14:57.769 you, take care. And of course Armond pulls him in like, you pisser, you just 14:58.269 --> 15:00.429 called my bluff, right? Like you were saying, we got 2 big bluff calls in 15:00.929 --> 15:03.923 like the first 10 minutes here. Um, but really the, the sort of trail of 15:04.423 --> 15:07.144 who's to blame here is like, well, so Barbara, as it turns out, her parents 15:07.224 --> 15:10.637 are ultra conservative. Her father is Kevin Keeley, 15:10.669 --> 15:14.217 senator from Ohio. and the co-founder of a group called the Coalition 15:14.717 --> 15:18.004 for Moral Order, which has got many sort of like corollary-type groups 15:18.504 --> 15:21.241 that actually existed at the time, you know, but are like this kind of mid-'90s 15:21.403 --> 15:25.043 resurgence of like the Contract with America, Newt Gingrich, like all this blah, 15:25.060 --> 15:29.266 blah, blah, the sort of reaction to the Clinton presidency. Yeah. Um, so she 15:29.766 --> 15:33.390 has shitty parents who may, you know, have made it clear to her that like 15:33.438 --> 15:37.124 with, you know, if it was obvious who's Val's family— who Val's family really was, 15:37.559 --> 15:39.652 they would have a problem with it. They would say no or cut her off, 15:39.668 --> 15:41.394 or there would be some massive consequences. Yeah, they have no like give in their 15:41.894 --> 15:45.281 position. No, exactly. Val fell in love with who he fell in love with, 15:45.298 --> 15:48.158 so are you really gonna blame Val for falling in love with who he fell 15:48.658 --> 15:51.548 in love with? No, but then he asks his dad to just completely lie about 15:51.805 --> 15:55.042 who he is, send Albert, who we've kind of established, or gets 15:55.542 --> 15:58.640 established, like, has basically been the maternal figure in his life. Yep. Send him away, 15:58.656 --> 16:01.931 like, all this stuff. So it's like, yeah, you're shitty. 16:02.060 --> 16:04.967 So it's like, I guess we can easily sympathize with Armand. 16:05.420 --> 16:07.908 He's in the most kind of like— Armand and Albert are in the most like— 16:07.941 --> 16:10.187 He's been the most put in a position out of all of us. Exactly, 16:10.203 --> 16:13.510 kind of thing. Yep. But then Val, you're kind of like, dude, could you have 16:14.010 --> 16:18.140 a couple of balls in you there to stand up to—? It is crazy. 16:18.170 --> 16:21.950 Yeah, it's so bad. Being 20 is such a big difference than being even 16:22.450 --> 16:25.160 25, 30. But yeah, it is like... 16:25.830 --> 16:28.710 I mean, you have to figure this out. You have to, like... 16:29.210 --> 16:32.430 If you let this be the beginning of the relationship, then you've made that compromise 16:32.930 --> 16:36.170 forever. It's crazy. Yeah. So, not a fan of Val 16:36.670 --> 16:39.750 here. No. Um, and not a likable enough character to be like, oh, well, 16:40.250 --> 16:43.368 I want this guy's love to work out. So no, agreed. Um, but they, 16:43.480 --> 16:46.848 uh, so as they're having this kind of conversation, he wants Armond 16:47.348 --> 16:50.376 to get on the phone. Val calls Barbara and 16:50.876 --> 16:53.166 they're talking. He's like, okay, well, I told my dad and everything, and they're getting 16:53.199 --> 16:57.047 all excited. Um, and Barbara and Armond 16:57.547 --> 17:00.207 like gets on the phone with her, but she's been kind of telling fibs to 17:00.255 --> 17:03.927 her parents because she knows what Armond and Albert— like, she doesn't 17:03.943 --> 17:07.295 care. She's aware and she's like fine with all of it, but she's 17:07.795 --> 17:11.519 kind protecting her parents. And then her dad, Gene Hackman, is in the midst of, 17:12.099 --> 17:15.919 A, a big election, and B, kind of a big scandal, which we find out 17:16.419 --> 17:19.519 about in a minute. Right, the scandal hasn't broken yet, but he is— this Coalition 17:20.019 --> 17:23.379 for Moral Order thing seems fairly new. Like, it's something that has just kind of 17:23.879 --> 17:26.239 hit the scene. So he's been on talk shows and stuff. He's clearly also written 17:26.739 --> 17:30.739 a book, because there's several scenes where he's going through the typist's manuscript. 17:31.239 --> 17:34.259 It's almost like he handwrote a novel or something. And now there's this huge manuscript 17:34.759 --> 17:37.519 he has to go through and check. So he's got a lot going on. 17:37.796 --> 17:40.986 reelection campaign, like, whatever, right? And so he gets on the phone and, 17:41.002 --> 17:43.663 like, overhears the conversation between Armond and Barbara. 17:43.984 --> 17:47.029 And all he really places is that Barbara said that he's the 17:47.529 --> 17:51.053 cultural attaché to Greece. Yeah. Um, and he— and she saw 17:51.117 --> 17:54.163 Val that day. Now Val's with his dad, so she now has to pivot super 17:54.663 --> 17:57.786 fast. Like, they came home, they came home for vacation, they're in South Beach or 17:58.286 --> 18:01.697 whatever. It's like, so every— this is lie on lie on lie. Uh, but yeah. 18:02.018 --> 18:06.105 And it is funny, like, throughout this how credulous Gene Hackman's character 18:06.249 --> 18:09.263 is. Like, for being someone who's, like, laying down the law on this is how 18:09.311 --> 18:12.600 things are, should be, and he believes like everything that's presented to him, 18:13.100 --> 18:17.520 you know. Uh, one thing I will say, Coalition, uh, for Moral 18:18.020 --> 18:21.440 Order, right? They could have done like Coalition of Moral Excellence or 18:21.940 --> 18:25.180 something that's like a pun, like that works out to say cum or something like 18:25.680 --> 18:28.740 that. I think it's just a missed opportunity for a joke. Fair. That's fair. 18:29.240 --> 18:31.700 Um, does Como not work? Oh no, it's gonna be good. Oh no, it wouldn't 18:32.200 --> 18:35.880 be. Yeah, you can actually pronounce it. CFMO. Yeah, total missed opportunity. 18:36.380 --> 18:39.990 Uh, and so we've got, we've got a little, uh, Azaria Back 18:40.490 --> 18:43.590 at the house, because yes, he's talking like they're kind of the next morning, 18:44.090 --> 18:46.770 right? So Val had like gone to sleep. Albert came up after the show, 18:47.270 --> 18:50.690 after Val had already gone to bed. He found out Val's visiting exactly, and then 18:51.190 --> 18:54.070 got his laundry very sweetly, like went and gathered his laundry and went and did 18:54.570 --> 18:58.150 it for him. Very mom move. Yeah, really, really mom stuff. There's some 18:58.650 --> 19:02.650 good Hank Azaria talking about his Guatemalan-ness in this 19:03.150 --> 19:06.410 in this part here. My father was the shaman of his tribe, and my 19:06.910 --> 19:09.570 mother was the high priestess. And then Armand's like, "Why they moved to New Jersey?" 19:10.070 --> 19:14.056 And he's like, "I don't know. They're so." But he wants to audition, 19:14.088 --> 19:17.344 basically. Like, Agador wants to be one of the Golden Girls, 19:17.360 --> 19:20.344 wants to be on stage for the drag show. But he asks, like, 19:20.408 --> 19:23.054 when are you gonna let me audition for you again? And he goes, when you 19:23.554 --> 19:27.145 have talent. So clearly, this is a fun little thing between them, but like, 19:27.241 --> 19:30.738 Armond has no intention of letting Agador be in the show. Right, right. 19:30.850 --> 19:34.122 But it's still— it's a fun little kind of back and forth. I love too, 19:34.202 --> 19:37.603 Agador makes Turkish coffee, which Armond is like, ooh, this— what is this, sludge? 19:37.731 --> 19:39.834 And he's like, yeah, I thought it'd be a nice change from coffee. But when 19:40.334 --> 19:42.363 Albert comes home with the groceries, he takes a sip and is like, ooh, 19:42.653 --> 19:46.488 Turkish coffee, delicious. Turkish coffee 19:46.504 --> 19:49.582 is good, but if you're not expecting Turkish coffee, it is jarring. Yeah, 19:49.598 --> 19:52.826 because there's like lots of like spices and things that aren't coffee in 19:52.924 --> 19:56.154 it too. So, so we find out 19:56.251 --> 19:59.786 that the co-founder of this Coalition for Moral Order has been 19:59.802 --> 20:03.660 found dead. Yes. But he was also like a very conservative politician, but was 20:04.160 --> 20:08.212 found dead and in bed with an underage African-American 20:08.712 --> 20:12.621 prostitute. Right. So it's like, okay, you're a child molester and 20:12.958 --> 20:16.090 you, you clearly like some people that 20:16.590 --> 20:19.222 aren't white, you know, which is a— Stepped out of your marriage. And all this 20:19.722 --> 20:23.093 stuff, right? Um, so this is a big scandal for Gene Hackman's character. 20:23.237 --> 20:26.498 He— and there's like press like swarming him, right? So this is a big deal 20:26.626 --> 20:29.999 and it's fucking up all his plans. Yeah. And so, 20:30.304 --> 20:33.356 uh, they decide, hey, uh, Diane Wiest's 20:33.856 --> 20:36.680 character and, and Cloris Leach's character— so this is, uh, I can't remember the name 20:37.180 --> 20:39.890 of the mom, Mrs. Keely, and then Barbara. They kind of both come at the 20:40.390 --> 20:43.659 same time to Gene Hackman. They're like, hey, you know what could like make 20:43.723 --> 20:47.299 this go be better is a wedding, right? We already told you like Barbie wants 20:47.331 --> 20:50.217 to marry this guy or whatever. Like, let's go meet the family and then you 20:50.717 --> 20:53.745 can announce a wedding. And that's, you know, hope and future and family and like 20:53.825 --> 20:56.214 innocence and all this stuff. And he kind of, kind of gets talked into it, 20:56.230 --> 20:59.742 but, you know, not super crazy. There's also a scene in here 21:00.242 --> 21:03.815 real quick, somewhere in here where Albert is reminiscing, flipping through a photo album. 21:03.991 --> 21:07.640 Yes. Of like Val as a young boy. And I think it's really weird, 21:08.140 --> 21:10.500 because all the photos are in black and white. They all look like they were 21:11.000 --> 21:14.770 taken in, like, the '50s. But Val is 20 years old in 1996, 21:15.320 --> 21:18.760 so he's like 3 years older than us. Like, and these are photos of him 21:19.260 --> 21:22.840 as, like, a 10- to 11-year-old, so, like, the late '80s, maybe? You know what 21:23.340 --> 21:25.530 I mean? It's like, why would it look that way? It looks so strange. 21:25.880 --> 21:29.060 No, that is funny. It's probably a props department thing, where we're like, 21:29.240 --> 21:31.920 we need to hammer home that these are old photos, so they gotta be black 21:32.420 --> 21:35.955 and white. And maybe it was easier to, like, splice the actors at young— at 21:36.455 --> 21:38.759 different ages together. Oh, yeah, sure. To make them look like they were standing there 21:39.259 --> 21:41.338 if it was black and white, you know? A sort of Clerks thing where it's 21:41.838 --> 21:44.479 like, hey, the colors will all just match. Nobody will look wrong. We don't have 21:44.511 --> 21:46.369 to worry about the lighting as much if we do it in black and white. 21:46.834 --> 21:50.551 Um, but basically, there is, uh— oh, and then there's a 21:50.615 --> 21:54.284 rehearsal. So, uh, at the Birdcage, 21:54.444 --> 21:57.921 and, uh, Albert is rehearsing with this, uh, dancer who 21:58.626 --> 22:02.087 does not dress in drag. It is a male dancer who stays dressed 22:02.135 --> 22:06.080 as a man. named Celsius, and they're doing this new piece, 22:06.160 --> 22:09.100 and Albert's trying to sing, and the guy is just being rude. He's grabbing his 22:09.600 --> 22:13.100 crotch and chewing gum, and Albert is losing it. Terrible work ethic. 22:13.600 --> 22:16.760 Just your kinda surly, like, ugh, I don't wanna be here 22:17.260 --> 22:19.920 guy. Yeah, and he tries to be all like, well, what am I, just an 22:20.420 --> 22:24.040 object? And Armand's like, no, you do an eclectic bouquet 22:24.540 --> 22:27.900 of dance. You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse, and Martha Graham, Martha Graham. And he's doing 22:28.400 --> 22:29.800 all these dances. But you do it all inside. 22:33.990 --> 22:37.459 Um, yeah, he was, uh, and what— this was the line that, 22:37.540 --> 22:40.849 um, Albert had about this guy was like, he was upset the guy 22:41.349 --> 22:43.885 was chewing gum and he's like, well, it helps me think. He's like, you know, 22:43.950 --> 22:46.850 I don't— there's not enough gum in the world for that or whatever. You're wasting 22:46.963 --> 22:49.992 your gum. Yeah, you're wasting your gum. Um, 22:50.685 --> 22:54.274 so, uh, so Val kind of proposes 22:54.712 --> 22:57.761 to Armand like what he wants the deal to be. 22:57.858 --> 23:01.380 He's like, look, Barbara's parents are gonna come meet us. 23:01.660 --> 23:05.160 Yeah, this is who they are. Yeah, and our mom doesn't know who it is. 23:05.660 --> 23:08.040 Yeah, yeah, he's not aware. It's funny, he's like, do you ever read the newspaper? 23:08.140 --> 23:11.460 He's like, yeah, Variety, National Enquirer, the arts and leisure section of 23:11.960 --> 23:15.820 the New York Times. Um, so, uh, so he ends up, 23:16.320 --> 23:19.620 you know, telling him who he is, and he's like, look, basically like, 23:20.120 --> 23:23.850 Dad, tone it down. Right, right, right. Like, big time. Including the house, 23:24.100 --> 23:27.210 including, you know, he's like, it would help if you weren't like They have a 23:27.710 --> 23:30.810 lot— they have a lot of fertility statues around. Yeah, there's all this artwork. 23:30.950 --> 23:34.310 A nude statue of Neptune and all this kind of stuff. And of 23:34.810 --> 23:38.450 course, Armond himself is wearing foundation, you know, like makeup. And so, 23:38.950 --> 23:42.790 really shitty of Val, he puts his finger up to Armond's— to his dad's jaw 23:43.290 --> 23:46.170 and gets some foundation on his hand and wipes it on the wall, which I'm 23:46.670 --> 23:49.590 like, dude, do you know how expensive it is to sponge-paint a wall? Like, 23:50.090 --> 23:53.410 that's gonna— you can't wash that. It'll screw it up. Right, 'cause it's gonna mess 23:53.910 --> 23:56.590 up the whole pattern. It's got texture. Yeah, you know, it's, ugh. So, but anyway. 23:56.610 --> 24:00.750 one more way Val's being a shithead. Disrespectful. And just like lighting up cigarettes 24:01.250 --> 24:03.470 in the middle of the house. But I guess that's fine there too. Because Armond 24:03.970 --> 24:07.290 smokes, I think maybe that happens more often. But it's funny too, actually, every time 24:07.790 --> 24:10.090 Val tries to light a cigarette, Armond takes it from him. Like, he doesn't want 24:10.590 --> 24:13.990 Val to smoke, but he himself is smoking through most of the movie. Yeah, 24:14.490 --> 24:17.110 yeah. But that's a very like parent kind of thing. Uh, some of the stuff 24:17.610 --> 24:20.190 that they have to move is funny, right? He picks up this, you know, 24:20.690 --> 24:23.950 this statue that's like a, a little idol type thing with a penis. 24:24.390 --> 24:26.650 And then he— and then Armond goes to turn it around backwards. There's like this 24:27.150 --> 24:30.630 huge ass crack. He's like, I don't know if that's any better. 24:31.130 --> 24:34.630 Is that better? So, but they, they, you know, he basically says initially to Val, 24:35.130 --> 24:37.110 like, I'm not doing it, man. Like, I am who I am. It's taken me 24:37.610 --> 24:39.830 20 years to understand who I am, and I'm not gonna, you know, fuck the 24:40.330 --> 24:43.370 senator. I don't care what he thinks. Yeah. Um, is it weird he quoted himself 24:43.870 --> 24:46.980 from Popeye by saying, I am who I am? I am what I am. 24:47.070 --> 24:50.050 Uh, yeah. So, but he basically decides, no, I'm not doing it. 24:50.550 --> 24:53.830 Um, we get a little scene back at the Keeley house where Kevin— Gene Hackman 24:54.330 --> 24:57.670 tries to climb out the window to avoid the press. Yeah. Which is shitty as 24:58.170 --> 24:58.690 hell because the wife, Diane Wiest, is like, what are you gonna do? I don't 24:59.190 --> 25:02.450 want to be out there alone. He's like, you won't be alone, Barbara will be 25:02.950 --> 25:06.090 with you, you coward-ass fuck. Yeah, but he goes to climb out and the press 25:06.590 --> 25:08.270 must have been waiting for him or something. I don't know, they might have seen 25:08.770 --> 25:13.070 the ladder, right? There's a huge ladder. Seriously, hard to hide 25:13.570 --> 25:16.030 the purpose of that. Yeah, it's not like something he like threw out the window 25:16.530 --> 25:19.910 and like starts climbing. No, it's just there. So they're talking, and so he stops 25:20.410 --> 25:23.790 short— press conference on the ladder. Yeah, he kind of stops short of 25:24.290 --> 25:26.730 fully like saying, oh, there's gonna be a wedding or whatever, but basically he actually 25:27.230 --> 25:30.390 tries to misdirect the, the crowd, the press, and says we're going to our farm. 25:30.800 --> 25:33.750 Uh, it doesn't say where, but I'm assuming somewhere there in Ohio where he's a 25:34.250 --> 25:37.830 senator from. Um, but there's another, uh, one of the journos there is 25:38.330 --> 25:41.090 from the National Enquirer, this kind of fat guy, and he had already paid off 25:41.590 --> 25:44.810 the driver, uh, to ask where he's taking him. Right. And he's 25:45.310 --> 25:47.590 told him South Beach, Florida. And so he calls out and is the one that 25:48.090 --> 25:49.850 calls out and says, where are you headed, Senator? Oh, we're headed to our family 25:50.350 --> 25:52.520 farm. That's all I'm gonna say right now. He's like, so now the journo knows, 25:52.850 --> 25:56.130 cool, nobody else knows where they're going. He's trying to hide where he's 25:56.630 --> 26:00.064 going, which means something interesting is gonna happen. him. Um, so they do start driving 26:00.160 --> 26:03.607 down, and the, uh, the, the— we can see 26:03.623 --> 26:06.573 as they're driving down the highway that there's like a car following them kind of 26:07.073 --> 26:10.853 the whole way. Yeah, these guys are following them. Uh, and, uh, so Armond 26:10.918 --> 26:13.771 has kind of like thought about it, right? And, 26:14.108 --> 26:17.779 and Val sees that, you know, the next morning Armond is doing 26:17.811 --> 26:21.146 work to try to like de-gay the house. Yeah, get rid of 26:21.419 --> 26:24.705 all the artwork and different stuff. To try to make it look like a conservative 26:25.205 --> 26:28.843 person's house, right? And I do— I like This is a very 26:28.875 --> 26:32.245 kind of real moment where, you know, Val's like, oh, like, thank you so 26:32.745 --> 26:35.920 much, Dad, for doing this. And Armond's just like, don't talk to me for a 26:36.420 --> 26:39.418 while. Because that is super relatable. And I want to say to everyone, 26:39.788 --> 26:42.724 just because you don't have a smile on your face the whole time you're doing 26:42.756 --> 26:46.287 something doesn't mean that you're not happy to do it for someone. You're— it's okay 26:46.787 --> 26:49.946 to have a reaction. 100%. If someone has you carry a heavy thing, you can 26:49.978 --> 26:52.867 be like, God, this is fucking heavy. And it doesn't mean that they need to 26:53.367 --> 26:55.600 take it back. You're allowed to react to it. So I do like that they 26:56.100 --> 26:59.480 left space for Armond to be like— he wasn't like, you're my son, I'd do 26:59.980 --> 27:02.620 anything for you. He was just kind of like, fuck you, buddy. Like, yeah, 27:03.120 --> 27:05.040 I'll do this, but we need a little time to cool off. It's sort of 27:05.540 --> 27:08.420 a thing. It kind of gives the indication, like, because I'm doing it, you and 27:08.920 --> 27:12.320 I know we're fine long-term. Yes. But right now, I am furious, 27:12.820 --> 27:15.580 and I don't want to deal with this and you right now. And I think 27:16.080 --> 27:18.040 that's fair. I think that's something, you know, you can't necessarily do with, like, 27:18.540 --> 27:21.540 when your kids are children. No. But once your kids are adults, like, hell yeah, 27:22.040 --> 27:24.520 that's a totally viable sort of, like, response, because you're making it clear to them, 27:25.732 --> 27:28.955 Look, I have boundaries and things that I have 27:29.019 --> 27:32.641 chosen in this one case to move for you. Right. Right? Like, normally I don't 27:32.706 --> 27:35.591 let anybody tell me who I am and who I'm not. And I'm not doing 27:36.091 --> 27:38.637 that for you, like, for my life, but I will do that for you tonight 27:39.137 --> 27:42.003 because I love you. But you've gotta know that is costing me something. Yeah. 27:42.244 --> 27:44.151 And I think that was really great. And like I said, it's like in 2 27:44.167 --> 27:47.582 lines, just 2 lines, but we get all of that mainly because Robin Williams is 27:47.630 --> 27:50.884 a fantastic actor and really delivers that line, you know, with so much behind it. 27:51.461 --> 27:54.555 But yeah, so, but the fact remains, they are doing 27:54.587 --> 27:57.600 the cleanup. They're gonna change the house over. They're gonna do it. they got to 27:58.100 --> 28:00.720 talk about. And Armond says— And they keep— Val, this is kind of funny how, 28:01.220 --> 28:04.520 you know, Val is helping and also watching what they're doing, and new things will 28:05.020 --> 28:07.180 appear. And he's like, what's that? They're like, oh, we got this down at the 28:07.680 --> 28:10.380 thrift store. He's like, don't add stuff, just get rid of stuff. So, you know, 28:10.880 --> 28:14.200 they keep trying to help in funny ways. Somebody put Playboys in the bathroom. 28:14.700 --> 28:18.540 He goes, who put Playboy there? It's what they read. Don't add, just subtract. 28:19.040 --> 28:21.680 But Armond now has the problem of having to, quote, get rid of Albert, 28:22.180 --> 28:24.680 have Albert go away for, you know, a night or whatever and go somewhere else 28:25.180 --> 28:28.050 and not be there, because they were thinking earlier Oh, maybe Albert could be explained 28:28.550 --> 28:32.310 away as an uncle. And Armand's like, hey, without a mother here to be 28:32.810 --> 28:34.870 your mother, without a woman here, he's just gonna be your gay Uncle Albert. 28:35.370 --> 28:36.810 That's still a problem, right? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that would still be 28:37.310 --> 28:40.350 a problem. So, they're, you know, Armand and Albert go, they hang out on the 28:40.850 --> 28:44.150 beach for a while, uh, and all this stuff. But Armand kind of opens with, 28:44.650 --> 28:46.870 like, you know, maybe you should go to, like, Boca or something. He says somewhere 28:47.370 --> 28:51.430 else, uh, you know, you're looking, like, tired or whatever. And this sets Albert off, 28:51.930 --> 28:54.510 and he's like, tired means old. Like, I wanna go home. Yeah, yeah. So now 28:55.010 --> 28:58.520 he's like— Armand's trying to keep him from going back home. You know, he like 28:59.020 --> 29:02.240 fakes an injury, an ankle injury, like all this kind of stuff. Right. And then 29:02.740 --> 29:05.880 they get home finally, and Albert screams the— like one of the funniest 29:06.380 --> 29:09.080 screams ever. And I'm not gonna try to do it, but Nathan Lane does a 29:09.580 --> 29:12.900 great scream, and he screams, we've been robbed! Because it looks like the whole thing 29:13.400 --> 29:15.320 is— everything's gone. Oh, it's beautiful. The sound design, yeah. And that's when Val says, 29:15.820 --> 29:18.560 oh, it'll all be back. It'll all be back by the time you get back. 29:19.060 --> 29:21.840 And he goes, where am I going? So Armond hadn't even had a chance to 29:22.340 --> 29:24.110 tell Albert any of this. Like, none of this has been explained. 29:25.478 --> 29:28.615 And, and, you know, Albert is, is rightfully super 29:29.115 --> 29:32.637 fucking pissed off. Well, and if I could give some advice to Val and Armond 29:33.137 --> 29:36.380 in this case, you don't have to say, I'm sorry, Albert, you're too, like, 29:36.525 --> 29:39.679 noticeably gay. Like, you aggress everything. You should be like, Albert, 29:40.390 --> 29:44.288 you've been proven to overreact and be incredibly chaotic and unpredictable 29:44.788 --> 29:47.866 in every situation, and I don't want that this weekend. It probably would 29:48.366 --> 29:51.832 be a better sell. Like, he's been acting insane this whole fucking movie so far, 29:51.912 --> 29:54.400 so it's like, Like you can point to that. Like, it's a good point. 29:54.540 --> 29:57.920 It's not straight. You're acting wild as fuck, right? Your actual 29:58.420 --> 30:01.860 identity is not the issue. Your reactions are the issue. That would be— it would 30:02.360 --> 30:06.220 be an easier sell for sure. Um, so, so the, the plan is— and, 30:06.720 --> 30:09.300 and Armand doesn't tell Val this. Armand's like, okay, well, I'll work on him. 30:09.800 --> 30:11.640 We'll get him out of town. But then he's trying to work with Albert to 30:12.140 --> 30:14.060 like, all right, like, we can get you in. We can have you be an 30:14.560 --> 30:17.760 uncle and, and whatever. And giving him lessons on, you know, 30:18.260 --> 30:21.200 how to do things in a manly way. So we get some funny bits there. 30:21.570 --> 30:25.150 Yes, uh, the mustard smear I think is funny, like real men 30:25.650 --> 30:29.490 smear. Yeah, a lot of— get your pinky down. Yeah, the spoon and 30:29.990 --> 30:32.350 the glass, a lot of pinky. Um, they do the walk. He's like, let me, 30:32.850 --> 30:34.890 let me show you how to walk. Yeah, right. So Albert gets up and walks, 30:35.390 --> 30:37.590 and it's very kind of swishy, and his hands are— and so Armand's like, 30:38.090 --> 30:39.780 let me, let me give you an image. It's a cliché, but it's an image. 30:40.050 --> 30:43.150 John Wayne. You're a big fan. Try that, you know. So he does. He gets 30:43.650 --> 30:46.090 his little straw hat even, whatever, and he starts walking. And he's, again, it's kind 30:46.590 --> 30:48.670 of a, kind of, you know, a saunter, I guess you'd call it, right? 30:49.170 --> 30:52.830 And he walks by this like old woman in a very Florida-looking outfit, the bejeweled 30:53.330 --> 30:56.510 like hat and— ma'am, you know, kind of the whole thing. 30:56.570 --> 31:00.070 Comes back and he goes, no good? And then Armond's like, 31:00.570 --> 31:02.930 no, that was perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that. Yeah, 31:03.430 --> 31:06.730 that was a good payoff. 'Cause I've seen 31:07.230 --> 31:10.430 it, like, it's a very '80s, '90s, like a John 31:10.930 --> 31:14.670 Wayne impression, right? And a very Robin Williams, like from his stand-up thing. 31:15.170 --> 31:18.575 Like that's a jam that he does. And if it was just that, 31:19.056 --> 31:21.972 it would be kind of like, oh, whatever. But the fact that they ended it 31:22.020 --> 31:25.241 with kind of pointing out that like, oh, John Wayne walks hella gay, 31:25.305 --> 31:28.654 you know? And by the way, I'm saying this like in 31:29.154 --> 31:32.179 the context of the movie, like for lack of— like, you, you all know what 31:32.679 --> 31:35.865 I mean by this. Um, so yeah, that was, uh, that was a good 31:36.365 --> 31:38.365 way to end that bit for sure. We also— my wife and I, another thing 31:38.865 --> 31:42.435 that we routinely say and just got into our vernacular is, oh, I've pierced 31:42.935 --> 31:46.540 the toes. Oh, kiss the toes. Kissing the toes. Uh, the other funny 31:47.040 --> 31:50.180 thing where they're practicing kind of having like guy-level small talk, 31:50.680 --> 31:54.270 right? Uh, and, and Robin Williams, he's like, oh, so how about those dolphins? 31:54.500 --> 31:58.140 Whatever. And he— and Robin Williams is giving all this technical stuff and he's 31:58.640 --> 32:01.600 like, how does that make you feel? And he's like, oh, betrayed, bewildered. 32:02.100 --> 32:04.450 Like, that's— that was good. That was a good line by him. 32:06.280 --> 32:09.750 Um, betrayed, bewildered. So, so the conclusion, 32:10.080 --> 32:12.920 I guess, or, or what they're talking about is that they need like a woman 32:13.420 --> 32:17.047 to be present to make this whole thing works. Someone to be playing 32:17.144 --> 32:20.821 Val's mother. Exactly. And then Albert's less of a concern because 32:20.917 --> 32:24.289 there's like a mother-father family there, right? You've got the mom and dad, 32:24.305 --> 32:27.131 and then in the context there's this uncle and he's just in town visiting. 32:27.179 --> 32:30.085 Like, that's a much easier sort of story to tell than like, why are there 32:30.585 --> 32:32.719 just 2 guys and there's no mom? Like, that kind of thing, right? It would 32:33.219 --> 32:36.347 be easier for them. So they decide to enlist the help of Val's birth mother, 32:36.893 --> 32:40.249 uh, Catherine Archer, who has this like big kind of fitness company or something. 32:40.650 --> 32:43.571 We're not sure exactly. I can't tell exactly what it is, but yeah, it's some 32:44.071 --> 32:47.550 kind of like athletic, either athletic wear or gyms or something, played by Christine 32:47.583 --> 32:51.081 Baranski, who's one of my favorite people in Hollywood. Like anything Christine Baranski's 32:51.113 --> 32:54.242 in, she's fantastic. So they go together. 32:54.386 --> 32:57.676 Armand and Albert go together to visit Catherine, although Armand's going to go in and 32:58.176 --> 33:01.270 Albert's just going to wait in the waiting room. So this, the backstory 33:01.302 --> 33:04.110 we get is that, you know, 20-odd years ago, 21 years ago or whatever it's 33:04.610 --> 33:07.352 been since Val's 20, they were in a production together. 33:08.523 --> 33:11.891 Katherine and Armond, and they had an affair, you know, they hooked up 33:12.391 --> 33:15.805 basically. And Armond even says like, you know, I figured, give it 33:16.305 --> 33:18.388 a shot. What are all these straight guys raving about when it comes to like 33:18.888 --> 33:21.227 sleeping with a woman? Like, I'll try. Yeah. And so they did. Apparently that was 33:21.275 --> 33:23.473 enough to conceive Val. 33:24.547 --> 33:28.124 And basically Armond gave Katherine a bunch of money to give 33:28.237 --> 33:31.461 up custody of Val and have Armond take full 33:31.961 --> 33:34.236 custody of him. And that's how she started her business. So it's like very— so 33:34.736 --> 33:38.320 it's a very amicable sort of thing. Catherine seems ecstatic to see him. 33:38.820 --> 33:41.340 Like, like, yeah, she never thought he would— she would again, maybe. But like a 33:41.840 --> 33:44.360 good moment between the two of them. And it's nice that they let it go 33:44.860 --> 33:47.720 so long of them kind of like reminiscing about, uh, the stuff that they were 33:48.220 --> 33:51.180 in together and doing a couple of old bits and all that stuff. Doing a 33:51.680 --> 33:55.130 number here and a little dance there. Yeah. So they gave her probably more screen. 33:55.760 --> 33:58.820 A lot of times, like, that character isn't gonna get like that little chunk, 33:59.320 --> 34:01.820 right? So that was, that was cool to see that, you know. And then as 34:02.320 --> 34:05.160 a theater person, it probably— it, it— I don't know, it gives you feelings about 34:05.660 --> 34:09.260 just the connections that you have with people that you performed with. Absolutely. Even years 34:09.760 --> 34:12.740 and years later, you kind of remember stuff that you did and all that. 34:13.240 --> 34:16.580 Yeah, it's definitely a connection, yeah, that you keep. And, and, but unfortunately, 34:17.080 --> 34:19.460 Albert gets more and more tired of waiting because, you know, Armand was supposed to 34:19.960 --> 34:22.440 go in 15 minutes, chat with him. We get the sense that much more time 34:22.940 --> 34:25.560 than that has passed. Um, Catherine opened a bottle of champagne, 34:26.620 --> 34:29.620 and, uh, and there, when she starts kind of really flirting with him hard, 34:30.120 --> 34:32.600 like talking about his chest hair and kind of doing this stuff, and they're almost 34:33.100 --> 34:35.940 canoodling— I mean, not Armand so much as Catherine is being very forward— as Albert 34:36.440 --> 34:40.280 walks in. and, and, and is freaked out. Albert goes to the car that 34:40.780 --> 34:43.712 they drove, Armand's car, to go there, and it's clearly struggling to drive it but 34:43.728 --> 34:47.577 gets it driven away. But we cut back to the house and Armand has arrived. 34:47.641 --> 34:50.687 Albert's not there yet. Yeah. And he goes, is Albert back yet? 34:51.088 --> 34:54.231 No, I thought he was with you. Great, he's driving back from, you know, 34:54.296 --> 34:57.086 wherever, Palm Beach or whatever, Fort Lauderdale, something like that, you know, with the parking 34:57.118 --> 35:00.501 brake on. Yeah, yeah. We get the sense Albert doesn't do much driving. Yeah, 35:00.870 --> 35:04.560 it's definitely, uh, Armand is is taking care of a lot 35:05.060 --> 35:08.640 of the business. Yes, exactly. Um, yeah, so Albert walks in the door 35:09.140 --> 35:12.580 and, you know, has another meltdown. 35:13.080 --> 35:16.060 A meltdown. Because, okay, you know, I walked in on Armond and stuff, and, 35:16.560 --> 35:18.960 oh, I know what you're trying to do to me, and I'll be leaving. 35:19.460 --> 35:22.400 But clearly, like, wants them to ask him questions about it. And again, like, 35:22.900 --> 35:25.920 they're all acting like vets who have been through his bullshit, like, 35:26.420 --> 35:29.520 multiple times every week for years and years and years, right? 35:30.020 --> 35:33.260 Uh, so they're finally like, oh, okay, well, hey, Albert, where are you going 35:33.760 --> 35:37.229 then? He's like, I'll bite. Like, yeah. And he basically says, like, I'm going 35:37.729 --> 35:40.518 to this— I'm going to this town. Lost Copa. The only thing there is a 35:40.550 --> 35:44.032 cemetery. And he's like, oh, that's why I'm packing light, and storms off. 35:44.176 --> 35:48.395 He says, you're taking a toothbrush to a cemetery? How Egyptian. 35:49.534 --> 35:52.839 Yeah. Um, oh, 35:52.920 --> 35:57.717 man. So, yeah, I mean, he storms off, but then Armand 35:58.118 --> 36:00.540 knows kind of where to find him and where to go get him. He's basically 36:00.556 --> 36:03.570 at a bus stop. Yeah. Waiting to head out of town. And so, yeah, 36:04.070 --> 36:07.250 Armond finds him and brings what they've talked about a few times, the palimony agreement. 36:07.750 --> 36:09.470 And I had to, like, look this up even recently 'cause I've kind of forgot 36:09.970 --> 36:11.850 the exact details, but I guess it's, you know, when you have, like, some kind 36:12.350 --> 36:14.870 of a domestic partnership where there's no marriage involved. And obviously back then, and in 36:15.370 --> 36:17.730 Florida in particular, there would've been no chance for these two to get married in 36:18.230 --> 36:21.600 any meaningful way. The palimony agreement is essentially just a business agreement that says, 36:21.630 --> 36:23.560 I own half of what you own, you own half of what I own, 36:23.570 --> 36:27.640 and it's even split, right? So basically, the closest thing financially 36:28.080 --> 36:31.460 that they could do to marriage, basically, at the time. 36:31.600 --> 36:35.060 And they— and, you know, he brings it and they sign it. And, you know, 36:35.560 --> 36:37.540 Albert's like, I don't want all this stuff. He's like, well, then give it to 36:38.040 --> 36:41.080 me. Like, the point is, I want us together. Like, it's Armond basically saying, 36:41.420 --> 36:44.040 I hadn't done this before, not because I didn't want to do it. I just 36:44.540 --> 36:46.480 didn't think it was that important to you. Now I clearly understand that it is 36:46.980 --> 36:49.400 like something you need to feel good about this. So let's do it. Like, 36:49.900 --> 36:53.020 it's, you know, they're tied together. And that's— it's really a sweet kind of moment. 36:53.520 --> 36:56.230 And it's really funny because it starts off with Armond complaining. about how shitty the 36:56.730 --> 36:59.790 cemetery in Las Copa is and his cemetery plots in Key Biscayne. But now he 37:00.290 --> 37:02.850 has to, you know, it's gorgeous, a beautiful view of the ocean, and now he's 37:03.350 --> 37:05.510 got to sell it to get a plot next to you in that piece of 37:06.010 --> 37:08.040 shit Las Copa. Yeah, yeah. He's so angry about it. 37:08.810 --> 37:11.910 Yeah, that's a nice scene with them on the, uh, on the bus 37:12.410 --> 37:15.210 bench. It's kind of like the, the Norman Rockwell, like where there's the kid with 37:15.710 --> 37:18.570 the I ran away from home bindle and the cop sitting next to him. 37:19.070 --> 37:21.410 It's kind of like Armand with Albert, like, hey, I know you tried to run 37:21.910 --> 37:24.050 away from home, but let's get you back here. Let's get you a cup of 37:24.550 --> 37:28.290 soup and get you back home. Yeah. So, 37:28.790 --> 37:32.050 so Armond is kind of like realizing, like, this is the person 37:32.550 --> 37:36.930 that I love. Like, this is what's important to me. If, if Val's 37:37.430 --> 37:40.950 fiancée and her family don't accept us, then that is 100% on them. 37:41.450 --> 37:44.190 Like, I'm gonna call Mom and tell her not to come. Right. So we're gonna 37:44.690 --> 37:47.790 do it. Yeah. Armond leaves a message with Katherine's, uh, assistant or whatever saying like, 37:48.290 --> 37:51.150 don't come, don't bother. Um, and he's— and she even says, well, she's already on 37:51.650 --> 37:53.290 her way, but I'll try to reach her on her car phone. Right, is what 37:53.790 --> 37:57.060 she says. Um, so back at the house they're all dressing 37:57.560 --> 38:00.540 in like conservative wear, right? So Armond's got his like black suit and tie on, 38:01.040 --> 38:03.560 he's got his hair slicked back, honestly looking like my grandpa. But he says he 38:04.060 --> 38:05.920 looks like his grandpa. And then you look like my grandfather in this suit. 38:06.420 --> 38:08.400 He killed himself when he was 40 or something like that. What do you gotta 38:08.900 --> 38:12.660 say? Do not like Robin Williams making suicide references in movies. It stings 38:13.160 --> 38:15.260 a lot. And I think he does it twice in this movie, and I'm just 38:15.760 --> 38:19.580 like, oh no. Um, but then Albert comes out in his suit 38:20.080 --> 38:23.170 and initially looks good. I mean, he's, you know, he kind of has to struggle 38:23.642 --> 38:26.576 to deliberately walk in a different way than he would normally walk, trying to, 38:26.592 --> 38:29.734 like, play it straight or whatever. But he gets— he sits down and, you know, 38:30.054 --> 38:33.405 whatever, and kind of sits, and he crosses his leg initially more feminine, 38:33.421 --> 38:36.434 and then changes to cross his leg more masculine, all this stuff. And they're kind 38:36.934 --> 38:39.817 of like, okay. And he goes, oh, you figure I dress like this, I'm even 38:40.317 --> 38:42.574 more obvious, right? Like, I took off my rings, I'm dressed just like you. 38:43.023 --> 38:46.629 And then Harmon goes, what about those? And he's wearing these bright pink 38:47.129 --> 38:50.557 socks. He just goes, well, one does want a hint of color. 38:50.637 --> 38:54.051 Yeah. Which is another— that's another one that Heather and I 38:54.644 --> 38:58.427 always say. And it is so funny, though, the way that Albert is dressed. 38:58.748 --> 39:03.236 It's like, all right, this is either— this is either like flamboyant 39:03.736 --> 39:06.971 gay men just wearing a suit or the most vicious killer 39:06.987 --> 39:10.529 in Boardwalk Empire. You know, like, like those flamboyant criminal 39:11.029 --> 39:14.504 guys dress the exact same way that they would, like, make fun of someone for 39:14.520 --> 39:17.565 just like, oh, it's the same thing. Everyone just wants to look good and they 39:18.065 --> 39:21.701 want to have people looking at them. Exactly. Yeah. So they're kind of realizing that, 39:21.733 --> 39:25.300 like, oh, man, this This— 39:25.800 --> 39:27.700 it's good. It's not gonna work. It's not gonna work. Our training, no matter how 39:28.200 --> 39:31.040 much training— and they only had like 6 hours in the first place. Ridiculous. 39:31.540 --> 39:33.180 Yeah, you're not gonna do that. And they did make a comment at one point 39:33.680 --> 39:36.360 earlier talking about training. It's like, you know, Albert said, I'm, I'm an actor, 39:36.860 --> 39:38.780 you're a great director, like, we can do this. Like, this is something we can 39:39.280 --> 39:43.380 do. And they tried and they did their best. But Val, this is another— 39:43.880 --> 39:46.160 he's just such a bitch. He's just mean to everybody. He's like mean to Agador 39:46.660 --> 39:49.660 about like, you know, he goes out and like Agador's lighting some, some candles because 39:50.160 --> 39:52.840 the whole place looks like a fucking monastery now. Yes. Like, it just looks ridiculous. 39:53.340 --> 39:55.950 It is funny how they, they like fully strip it down. There's almost nothing, 39:56.000 --> 39:59.260 just a big wooden crucifix on the wall in one room. A wooden crucifix, 39:59.760 --> 40:02.160 they have a little table, they have a couple of books, a lot of drapes 40:02.660 --> 40:05.880 on the walls to block the view to the outside and stuff. All this stuff, 40:06.380 --> 40:09.880 and so Agador's lighting candles, and he's tried to masculinate his 40:10.380 --> 40:14.160 voice as well, 'cause he's got this very thick accent. And so Val's 40:14.660 --> 40:16.920 like, would you just put your shoes on? He goes, ah, but sir, there is 40:17.420 --> 40:19.720 no reason for me to put my shoes on, because they make me fall down. 40:20.220 --> 40:23.140 And he's like, just put your fucking shoes on. He's so upset about it. 40:23.640 --> 40:25.260 But that's when Katherine calls to verify Armand's message. She goes, hey, I got a— 40:27.040 --> 40:30.200 A message from my assistant about not coming. Is that right? And Val 40:30.700 --> 40:33.580 is one who answers. And so now that you know Albert has run back into 40:34.080 --> 40:37.080 his room and is like not coming out, supposedly like locked himself in. He's like, 40:37.580 --> 40:39.740 "No, no, no, please come, come, come." Like like like that was a mistake. 40:40.240 --> 40:42.440 Like please, you know. And they have a moment over the phone because you know 40:42.940 --> 40:45.660 they've never spoken to each other before. And and she says, "This is Val." And 40:46.160 --> 40:48.440 he's like, "Yeah." She's just like, "Hey, I just want you to know, like I'm 40:48.940 --> 40:50.760 really really happy I can do this for you." Yeah. You know, which is great. 40:50.780 --> 40:53.540 Like she she really is just you know knows that she obviously hasn't been part 40:54.040 --> 40:56.700 of his life, obviously. So this is cool that she can do something for him. 40:57.200 --> 41:00.589 She Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, weird dynamic for that kind of 41:01.089 --> 41:04.516 relationship, but I think they keep the proper distance. You know, it's not like, 41:05.061 --> 41:08.684 oh, you live with me half the time now. It's very much like 41:08.748 --> 41:11.922 they're fine with the decision that was made 20 years ago. Um, 41:12.195 --> 41:16.010 so yeah, so they end up— uh, the parents 41:16.058 --> 41:19.216 are on the way, right? So the idea is that even if, 41:19.488 --> 41:22.871 uh, if Christine Baranski gets there when she's supposed to 41:23.371 --> 41:26.077 get there, she's gonna be there after— A little late, yeah. The parents of— Barbara's 41:26.577 --> 41:30.650 parents, right? And they show up, and we get a funny scene of the 41:31.150 --> 41:34.490 shoes make him fall down. He wasn't kidding. Agador does 41:34.990 --> 41:37.870 fall down when he puts shoes on. Good physical comedy. It's a good pratfall. 41:38.370 --> 41:41.950 Yeah. And so, so we're introduced now to 41:42.450 --> 41:45.130 Barbara and her parents. Yep. So the Keelys have arrived, and there's a lot of 41:45.630 --> 41:49.210 like— and then there's initial confusion because, first of all, Agador answers the phone, 41:49.710 --> 41:53.330 I am Spartacus. He's decided to change his name, hasn't told anybody. And, 41:53.830 --> 41:56.650 you know, like, welcome to the Goldmans or something like that. The goal— I'm the 41:57.150 --> 41:59.800 Goldmans' butler or something like that. And so And then Barbara had told her parents 42:00.300 --> 42:02.760 that the last name was Coleman because she also didn't want them to think— among 42:03.260 --> 42:05.840 all the other things she doesn't want her parents to understand is that Armond is 42:06.340 --> 42:09.320 Jewish. Yeah, yeah. And that's also, you know, no, no, no, no kind of thing. 42:09.380 --> 42:12.660 Um, and so then it's like, is it Goldman? Coleman? Like, there's some— there's some 42:13.160 --> 42:16.220 misunderstanding right now. The crazy part is when they drove up to the building 42:16.720 --> 42:20.300 with the nightclub in front, it says Armond Goldman Presents on the front, right? 42:20.800 --> 42:24.250 They're meeting an Armond Coleman. Even that should have been a bit of a tip-off, 42:24.260 --> 42:27.560 but there's no recognition at all. It is fun. Oh, when they first kind of 42:28.060 --> 42:30.860 arrive in town, so they're kind of pulling into the same that we saw from 42:31.360 --> 42:35.070 the opening shot, right? Like people in thongs and like men and women in thongs, 42:35.140 --> 42:38.740 scantily dressed, all kinds of stuff. And they're looking out the window and I think, 42:39.240 --> 42:41.620 uh, I think they're like, oh yeah, they said this all popped up since they 42:42.120 --> 42:44.420 bought the place. It was all sand when they bought here. They would never move 42:44.920 --> 42:48.540 in there, right? Uh, and then there's kind of a comment with the Coleman Goldman 42:49.040 --> 42:52.440 thing. They say something about— he said, oh, this neighborhood used to be all Jewish. 42:52.940 --> 42:54.800 It was like, oh, Barbara said it used to be all sand. He's like, 42:55.300 --> 42:57.980 oh, you know what they say, when there's sand, where there's sand, there's sand. 43:00.494 --> 43:05.045 But then, yeah, but they respond to— or, you know, Val and Armand calls Agador, 43:05.174 --> 43:08.859 they call him Agador, and then Val corrects him to Spartacus, and they say Agador 43:09.359 --> 43:11.805 Spartacus. He insists on being called his full name, which I always thought was hilarious. 43:12.750 --> 43:16.428 But basically, outside the building now, more journalists 43:16.477 --> 43:19.397 have— or no, the initial journalists have arrived. So the 2 guys that follow them 43:19.413 --> 43:22.529 are there, and they see the driver and 43:23.029 --> 43:25.554 pay him another bunch of money, whatever, to say where did they go. They went 43:26.054 --> 43:28.310 in the building across the street. Yeah. So now they're kind of scoping it out. 43:28.810 --> 43:30.510 They're obviously not just gonna like try to walk in or anything, but they're like 43:31.010 --> 43:34.360 looking around. The, the name has actually been changed on the, on the ring, 43:34.430 --> 43:37.700 the doorbell outside, to say Coleman. Um, something Val must have done at some point. 43:38.410 --> 43:42.090 And so they're asking, Coleman, Coleman, the last name Coleman, know nothing? That's so crazy. 43:42.430 --> 43:44.890 And then one guy's like, what about the name on the front of the building? 43:44.950 --> 43:47.800 Armand Goldman. Goldman. Like, he figures it out. Yeah, yeah. And sort of they check. 43:47.950 --> 43:50.970 Oh, it turns out, yeah, like he owns the building, he owns the nightclub. 43:51.470 --> 43:55.050 Like, yeah, like that's him kind of thing. Which is super funny. 43:55.340 --> 43:59.900 Inside the building, well, we find out Katherine's stuck in traffic. She's at like some 44:00.400 --> 44:03.100 kind of drawbridge or something. Yeah, there's a lot of— I can't remember what they're 44:03.600 --> 44:07.010 called. They're like— yeah, there's some term for all these, like, they're like bridges, 44:07.100 --> 44:10.100 but they're also the causeways, I think they call them, throughout Miami that make it 44:10.600 --> 44:12.660 very difficult to get from one part of Miami to another depending on what time 44:13.160 --> 44:15.780 of day it is and stuff. Yeah. And so she's stuck, so they're gonna wait 44:16.280 --> 44:19.660 a little longer. And Kevin Keeley— so Gene Hackman's character 44:20.160 --> 44:23.413 starts telling the story about the foliage, the changing foliage 44:23.750 --> 44:27.109 as they drove from Ohio through Virginia. And it is the most boring 44:27.768 --> 44:31.774 fucking story about the leaves changing, right? And it's the most politician, 44:31.904 --> 44:35.842 no information kind of story too. Like, no opinions, no information. 44:36.036 --> 44:39.203 And talk about Purple Mountain's Majesty. Like, yeah, just the 44:39.703 --> 44:43.168 most boring shit ever. Um, yeah, so, 44:43.345 --> 44:46.552 and he's— and they keep kind of like— the 44:46.584 --> 44:49.710 phone rings at a point in his story and they don't pick it up, 44:49.726 --> 44:53.220 but then it goes to the answering machine and Val goes and grabs it. 44:53.720 --> 44:57.080 It's Catherine, right? Because it's her. And they're so— and they're like disappearing to the 44:57.580 --> 45:01.180 kitchen and coming back. And, uh, Kevin Keeley, Gene Hackman, is kind of like, 45:01.680 --> 45:05.100 something's going on here. Like, it's like the only time he's skeptical of 45:05.600 --> 45:09.000 anything, right, throughout this. Uh, so— and they're just like, 45:09.500 --> 45:12.560 okay, Mom's gonna be late, she's gonna be another half an hour, whatever. And then 45:13.060 --> 45:16.940 inverse Mom, right? And it's Albert doing the 45:17.440 --> 45:20.734 Mrs. Doubtfire type thing. Yeah, very much. Uh, 45:21.199 --> 45:24.503 yeah, so, and when he first pops in, Agador starts 45:25.003 --> 45:28.225 laughing hysterically and has to like— can't even stop himself 45:28.273 --> 45:31.112 laughing, has to like cover his mouth and just be escorted out of the room. 45:31.401 --> 45:34.016 I want to say this movie to me is, is a good movie, 45:34.513 --> 45:38.507 um, from the beginning until the Keighleys arrive at the house. But from where 45:38.555 --> 45:41.972 the Keighleys arrive to the end, it is a spectacular movie. Like, I honestly— 45:41.988 --> 45:44.779 the, the, the jokes come super fast, the, 45:44.860 --> 45:48.583 the missed identity stuff is hilarious. To me, there's so many like 45:48.711 --> 45:51.392 laughs in this movie, kind of in this dinner scene and on, 45:52.260 --> 45:55.519 and and this is where it really like ramps up. And so Albert appearing as 45:56.177 --> 46:00.176 Mrs. Coleman Goldman, which again there's now an additional problem because she says 46:00.272 --> 46:03.596 Goldman or something, and and there's there's a problem. 46:03.644 --> 46:06.839 But yeah, we've had some confusion. Is it Coleman? And she goes, "Well, it depends 46:06.855 --> 46:10.163 on where you are." Like in France, in France, where Armand's 46:10.663 --> 46:13.904 château is, it's Col de la Manne or Col of the Isle of Man. 46:14.017 --> 46:17.330 Yeah, which is like the most ridiculous. It's like, name ever. So we 46:17.830 --> 46:20.510 don't really know where we are until we hear our last name pronounced. Yeah. 46:21.010 --> 46:24.450 Uh, and, and the 46:24.950 --> 46:28.750 second Albert shows up, like, it puts Kevin Keeley is 46:29.250 --> 46:32.650 just like, oh, hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, I dig this. Like, this is, this is 46:33.150 --> 46:36.550 it. Like, I was a little suspicious, but now with the crucifix, 46:37.050 --> 46:39.590 and then he referred to not a lot of clever books on the shelves, 46:40.090 --> 46:41.780 which I think was cool. It was like all like Nancy Drew or something. 46:42.110 --> 46:45.410 Yeah, because, uh, Agador, when he got this big crucifix, was like, and they also 46:45.910 --> 46:48.067 gave me a bunch of books. And I feel like he said something Like they're 46:48.083 --> 46:51.580 due back next week, or like that he was just given all these old library 46:52.719 --> 46:56.553 books. But yeah, and and Kevin is immediately getting 46:56.569 --> 46:59.488 into like there's like no pleasant conversation. 46:59.537 --> 47:03.146 He's like launching into all his like political talking points like right 47:03.646 --> 47:07.156 away and gay marriage like all this stuff and Clinton's bad like all this 47:07.656 --> 47:10.380 stuff and and you know Albert's trying to play along and sort of agreeing with 47:10.880 --> 47:14.487 a lot of the the stuff and and so she said something well he 47:14.987 --> 47:17.280 said something. Something, uh, as the mom. I don't remember exactly what it was, 47:17.780 --> 47:21.480 but I do remember that, uh, Senator Keeley's response was, that's exactly what Rush 47:21.980 --> 47:25.760 Limbaugh said. Yes. Yeah, there's some name 47:26.260 --> 47:29.960 checks in this. Yeah, they're very mid-'90s. Um, is it Billy Graham? 47:30.460 --> 47:33.740 He says it's too— because— or too liberal? No, it's the, the Pope is too 47:34.240 --> 47:37.360 liberal. The Pope is too controversial. We'll get Billy Graham. And then later he says 47:37.860 --> 47:40.680 Bob Dole. He was going to say Bob Dole's too liberal, but his wife Louise 47:41.180 --> 47:43.370 says he's too dark. Oh, he's dark too, but I was gonna say too liberal. 47:45.033 --> 47:48.885 I think that's the year— '96 would be the year that Dole— that 47:49.385 --> 47:51.325 would have been the Clinton— yeah, that would have been the year that Dole ran 47:51.357 --> 47:54.295 against Clinton. Bush, that's right. Yeah, that's right. 47:54.969 --> 47:58.452 Yeah, so, uh, so they're getting along great. 47:58.500 --> 48:02.176 Like, nobody's pushing back, but, uh, but Armond is 48:02.353 --> 48:05.306 uncomfortable by this, right? So there's a scene as these questions are coming, 48:05.659 --> 48:09.159 and nobody's had a chance to adjust to Albert arriving. They didn't have 48:09.255 --> 48:13.050 a little meeting in the fucking— in the Uh, 48:13.550 --> 48:16.670 what's it called? The kitchen. In the mudroom first, and then, and then go in 48:17.170 --> 48:20.770 there. Yeah, yeah. So he's just like, what the fuck? And he's going around nervously 48:21.270 --> 48:24.670 putting ice in everybody's cups and stuff like that. But they're getting along kind of 48:25.170 --> 48:29.110 famously, and they end up having this great, like, little singing and dancing moment, 48:29.610 --> 48:32.670 right? Yeah, they do. Uh, before dinner is served, they do, uh, what, 48:33.170 --> 48:36.470 from, uh, um, it's from My Fair Lady, I Could Have Danced All Night, 48:36.970 --> 48:38.890 like, whatever. And it's like their piano and they're dancing and singing. Yeah, everybody's getting 48:39.390 --> 48:42.168 along Great. We should mention, in the meantime, a ton more journalists have shown up 48:42.668 --> 48:46.489 because somebody got footage from, uh, the Keelys' house of 48:46.521 --> 48:49.701 the National Enquirer guy, like, getting the bribe and finding 48:49.717 --> 48:52.882 out they're going to South Beach or whatever. So that's kind of become knowledge. 48:52.946 --> 48:56.753 So now there's, like, TV vans and all these reporters and cameras all 48:56.945 --> 49:00.399 over the south— the street out front, Ocean Boulevard. And, and so now, you know, 49:00.479 --> 49:03.130 there's this heightened sort of issue of how are they going to get out of 49:03.630 --> 49:07.280 here? Yeah. Right, is kind of the thing. Yeah, uh, and so as 49:07.780 --> 49:11.560 they're, uh, about to serve dinner, right, they lay out the, the plates 49:12.060 --> 49:15.100 and everything, and they see that the bowls and the plates, uh, Kevin Kiley's kind 49:15.600 --> 49:19.380 of examining. He's like, oh, these are interesting. Like, is that like naked men? 49:19.880 --> 49:22.420 And it's all this, you know, different artwork where it's like, you know, like you 49:22.920 --> 49:25.320 said with the fertility idols and stuff, it's all this stuff. And there's like, 49:25.820 --> 49:30.040 you know, very Greek. There are 2 men having sex on this, right? And then 49:30.540 --> 49:33.860 the family very quickly reacting to that is like, oh, mine has women too. 49:34.360 --> 49:37.530 Yeah, I have girls on mine. So that's 49:38.030 --> 49:41.430 a good thing. And, uh, and they're missing, uh, they're missing their glasses. 49:41.550 --> 49:44.310 I think Kevin Keeley and his wife are both like, oh, where are my glasses? 49:44.650 --> 49:46.890 And the kids are both kind of like, oh, I don't know, I guess they're 49:47.390 --> 49:49.890 gone. I looked, didn't find them yet. Trying to keep their vision low, but they 49:50.390 --> 49:53.210 have to rush to get the soup in those bowls to cover up the dicks. 49:53.710 --> 49:56.650 Agador has created, uh, a soup or whatever. He's got shrimps that he isn't able 49:57.150 --> 49:59.970 to put in the thing because Armand runs out with it. And he says, 50:00.470 --> 50:02.670 it's like, oh, this is seafood chowder. And he starts putting it, and then like 50:03.170 --> 50:06.600 Louise is like Senator Kelly's wife is like, "Isn't this an 50:07.100 --> 50:09.726 egg? Why is there an egg?" He's like, "Oh yes, it's it's a it's a 50:10.226 --> 50:13.348 huevo. It's very big in Guatemala." He's trying to play it up, but it's just 50:13.492 --> 50:16.602 all bullshit. And he says, like a woman is said to be like worth her 50:16.634 --> 50:19.118 weight in hens, and a man is judged by the size of his cock. 50:20.240 --> 50:23.702 And he walks off. But then it's like they're they try this stew 50:24.311 --> 50:27.244 or whatever it is, this soup, and they it's all everybody hates it. It's terrible. 50:27.356 --> 50:30.706 All reach for bread at the same time. And so then Val goes 50:30.738 --> 50:33.590 to check on what's going on in the kitchen, and Armand's in there. banging his 50:34.090 --> 50:36.730 head against the wall, and he says he didn't make an entrée. And Agador's like, 50:37.230 --> 50:39.650 it's sweet and sour peasant soup, it is an entrée. Why do you think I 50:40.150 --> 50:43.350 made so much? It's like a stew. Like, you know, um, Val kind of needs 50:43.850 --> 50:46.550 to sneak out of there. And what they want him to do, because they know 50:47.050 --> 50:49.610 that his mom is still on the way, she's unreachable, she's in the car. 50:50.110 --> 50:52.710 So in her mind, I'm just running late, but I'm trying to get here. 50:53.210 --> 50:55.370 And they say, hey, Val, go down, like, put a note for your mom, 50:55.870 --> 50:58.550 says like, don't come in under any circumstances. We'll explain later. Like, deal with it 50:59.050 --> 51:02.010 later. And he goes down and does that. But then the reporters who have been 51:02.510 --> 51:05.313 kind of stalking them like pull it off. Yeah, like, oh, this might be useful 51:05.813 --> 51:09.008 information, and just to fuck everything up, right? Like, yeah, so they take it away. 51:09.474 --> 51:12.446 And one of the reporters, the guy who's kind of like the sidekick of the 51:12.946 --> 51:15.948 main reporter, was in True Lies. He was one of our favorite crew members with 51:16.575 --> 51:19.483 Tom Arnold and Arnie. That's right. And he, and he in fact, he had a 51:19.531 --> 51:23.291 camera. He has a camera in this show or whatever, 51:23.323 --> 51:25.797 like, or this movie, and he had a camera at part of True Lies because 51:25.861 --> 51:28.400 he was the like camera crew that got sent to take down the terrorists, 51:28.416 --> 51:31.034 and he had the gun in it and everything. Same, uh, same same there. 51:31.114 --> 51:34.678 So yeah, um, so at some point they all notice as, 51:34.855 --> 51:38.146 uh, as Albert's getting up, the wig— his, uh, his wig 51:38.242 --> 51:41.582 slips. Yeah, yeah. And they're able to kind of get on it pretty quickly. 51:41.759 --> 51:44.488 I think Barbara goes to Albert and says like, hey, can you show me where 51:44.988 --> 51:48.036 the bathroom is? Mother Coleman, get out of here. Uh, and they're all kind of 51:48.101 --> 51:51.665 rushing around Albert to fix this situation. Yeah, which leaves just 51:51.713 --> 51:54.298 the Keelys. Mr. and Mrs. Keely are the only ones left alone at the dinner 51:54.798 --> 51:58.213 table. And Senator Keeley is super like 51:58.713 --> 52:01.920 pissed. Like he thinks that this is, you know, that Mrs. Coleman is such a 52:02.064 --> 52:05.273 tread-upon woman. And, and, you know, Armond, you know, Armond must have a, 52:05.433 --> 52:08.145 um, you know, a side piece, kind of like all this like stuff. And, 52:08.417 --> 52:12.332 and basically like acting way more concerned about this woman who he 52:12.832 --> 52:15.412 does not know is a man than he has ever about his wife, it certainly 52:15.912 --> 52:19.247 seems. Um, but as they are kind of arguing, the Keileys, Catherine shows 52:19.747 --> 52:22.825 up, walks right in. Oh, Mr. and Mrs.— Senator and Mrs. Keeley, 52:22.873 --> 52:26.039 I'm so glad to meet you. I'm Catherine Goldman. Val's mother, you know, 52:26.055 --> 52:29.513 whatever. And it's like— and that's about when Albert, you know, Wig Fix, 52:29.610 --> 52:33.035 and the others come out, and now it's confrontation time. It's like, what the fuck 52:33.535 --> 52:36.934 is going on? Right. And, and when, uh, when she arrives at the door, 52:36.982 --> 52:39.570 it's very funny that Agador goes up. He's like, oh, 52:39.958 --> 52:43.622 hello, uh, miss. May I take your purse as usual, or for 52:44.122 --> 52:47.317 the first time? Like, he doesn't even know which, which side to play. Like— Yeah. 52:49.068 --> 52:52.378 But Val finally does the right thing because he 52:52.410 --> 52:56.040 He, uh, you know, he basically— 52:56.540 --> 52:58.860 Senator Healy's like, we need an explanation here. Like, who, who is Val's mother? 52:59.360 --> 53:01.720 Like, this is— this woman has said she's Val's mother. You've said this is Val's 53:02.220 --> 53:04.460 mother. So who's Val's mother? And, and he does the right thing. He says, 53:04.960 --> 53:08.340 this is— and he takes, uh, Albert's wig off and he says, this is my 53:08.840 --> 53:11.140 mother. Like, this is the person who raised me. Like, you know, kind of thing. 53:11.280 --> 53:13.980 And, you know, but, you know, Katherine here, 53:14.480 --> 53:18.140 like, she, she birthed me or whatever kind of thing. And, and she introduces herself. 53:18.640 --> 53:20.360 So nice to finally meet you, Val. Like, it's very— which I'm sure is like 53:20.860 --> 53:23.690 kind of like, oh my God, extra mind-blowing for the Healys. Yeah. But Senator Keeley 53:24.190 --> 53:27.630 is completely— he's like, huh? But you're a man. What? I don't understand. But wait, 53:28.130 --> 53:30.730 2 minutes. He's just like— and the wife is like, what, Kevin? Yeah, get it. 53:31.230 --> 53:33.690 They're gay. They're a couple. Like, what is so hard to understand about this? 53:34.190 --> 53:36.910 Yeah. But then she's like, Barbara, we're leaving. And she's like, no, no, no, 53:37.410 --> 53:39.890 I'm not leaving. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere. 53:40.050 --> 53:43.370 And that's when they turn to leave and the National Enquirer 53:43.870 --> 53:45.590 guys are right at the door. And one of them's got a camera and the 53:46.090 --> 53:49.599 other one goes, Senator Keeley! But like, as he He turns, he sees the 53:50.099 --> 53:52.872 camera, and he shuts the door. Yeah, so they don't have a picture of him, 53:53.466 --> 53:56.370 but now they know, like, everybody's there. They even go into, like, the bedroom to 53:56.870 --> 53:59.290 look down onto the main street there, and they can see all the news vans. 53:59.643 --> 54:02.948 Like, they're screwed. Catherine mentions, like, it's their word against 54:03.448 --> 54:05.563 yours you were even here, you know? And they're like, yeah, unless they get a 54:06.063 --> 54:09.189 photo of us. And so they need a plan, right, uh, to get 54:09.689 --> 54:12.430 out, right? And, uh, so is this, like, as they, uh, 54:12.558 --> 54:15.607 discover— there's a couple kind of funny things. Is one is, uh, 54:15.911 --> 54:19.520 as Albert is explaining like, yeah, you know, I'd love 54:20.020 --> 54:23.840 Val just like any parent loves them. And, you know, it's the exact same. 54:23.980 --> 54:27.440 Uh, it's still me with just one tiny difference. Well, not a tiny 54:27.940 --> 54:31.680 difference, right? Tiny. I don't know if that gets the giant hog hashtag since we're 54:32.180 --> 54:35.720 hinting at it, but we love, uh, hashtagging stuff like that. Um, 54:36.220 --> 54:39.160 yeah. And then, uh, shit, what was the other thing there? Uh, I'm not gonna 54:39.660 --> 54:43.140 think of it. Um, so yeah, the press is everywhere, and we're like, how are 54:43.640 --> 54:45.400 we gonna get out? So they couldn't storm out. So now they have to, 54:45.900 --> 54:47.520 like, reconcile. They have to, like, deal with these people. 'Cause you're the only people 54:48.020 --> 54:51.188 that can help them. Well, and that's the thing is that like, yeah, so now 54:51.253 --> 54:54.352 the Keelys are stuck there. Look, I think there's a little bit of realization happening. 54:54.464 --> 54:57.901 One, that they had been having a pretty good time at dinner. Like, these, 54:57.933 --> 55:00.888 these were people they were enjoying the company of, right? Right. They're now in a 55:01.388 --> 55:03.795 position where these folks could just throw them out to the wolves and be like, 55:03.811 --> 55:05.898 okay, well, leave now, and then deal with what you gotta deal with, right? 55:05.963 --> 55:09.239 But they're not. They're trying to help them through it. And it's obvious that Val 55:09.255 --> 55:11.519 and Barbara, you know, care very much for each other. I think there's a lot 55:12.019 --> 55:14.650 of this going on for the Keelys. And so the plan becomes, well, 55:15.277 --> 55:18.857 if you're in drag on the way out, like, they're not gonna recognize 55:18.889 --> 55:22.582 you, they're not gonna understand that it's you. This doesn't work today with 55:23.082 --> 55:26.644 cell phone cameras in everybody's pocket, people filming things all the time, 55:26.660 --> 55:30.176 right? Because they would have gotten caught. Sure. Because it was the television crews, 55:30.272 --> 55:33.869 and they're probably hooked up to like live feeds and stuff, they wouldn't just 55:33.885 --> 55:37.240 be filming, they'd be waiting to set up to then start filming kind of thing, 55:37.288 --> 55:40.853 or start taping or broadcasting or whatever. So it's not an always-on 55:40.965 --> 55:44.704 panopticon kind of thing. But today, somebody's getting a shot of 55:44.832 --> 55:48.344 Senator Keeley in drag coming out. And it's not like he looks nothing like himself. 55:48.424 --> 55:51.262 No, you know what I mean? Being like a tall— like Gene Hackman's a tall 55:51.375 --> 55:54.838 guy too. Yeah. Uh, not that there weren't like tall drag queens at 55:55.338 --> 55:57.549 the, at the thing, but— At the show, yeah. I mean, it's a, it's a 55:58.049 --> 56:01.606 face that's noticeable, right? If you're looking for that face, you'd probably spot the face 56:01.718 --> 56:04.669 even with a wig and a dress on. So we, we basically end the movie 56:04.701 --> 56:07.796 very similarly to how we began with We Are Family, uh, and, 56:07.908 --> 56:10.842 and the song plays and they basically are all kind of like walking, dancing, 56:10.955 --> 56:14.787 joining the crowd through the club and then out the front door. and they get 56:15.287 --> 56:18.620 into, uh, Catherine's car. She's gonna drive them away. And then Gene Hackman says 56:18.636 --> 56:21.732 to their original driver, like, meet me in 20 minutes on the corner of, 56:21.764 --> 56:24.650 you know, this and that. He goes, lady, not for a million bucks. Yeah, 56:24.666 --> 56:27.232 yeah. Which is like, okay, so apparently the, the costume was good enough that the 56:27.732 --> 56:31.097 driver did not recognize him. Right, right. Um, but yeah, I think after that it's 56:31.597 --> 56:34.642 just, uh, we get the wedding during the, uh, the end credits. Yeah, we get 56:34.674 --> 56:37.881 the wedding, which— oh, and there's another point that they bring up, you know, 56:37.897 --> 56:41.569 with the, the Coleman Goldblum. So when they really— they have 56:42.069 --> 56:45.400 this kind of big reveal of Albert is actually Albert, and, and then 56:45.577 --> 56:49.648 our last name is Goldman, not Coleman. So this whole thing where you expect, 56:49.744 --> 56:52.117 uh, Kevin Kiley to be like, I can't believe you're a man, he's like, 56:52.245 --> 56:55.323 I can't believe you're Jewish. You can't be Jewish. But then at the end when 56:55.355 --> 56:58.577 they're having the wedding, they're clearly having one of those joint, like, 56:58.657 --> 57:02.472 Catholic-Jewish, uh, wedding celebrations. Dual denomination. 57:02.568 --> 57:05.823 Yeah, yeah. Um, so that is it. 57:05.871 --> 57:08.932 And of course Albert is crying throughout the, uh, the whole ceremony. 57:09.221 --> 57:12.550 And, uh, that little shit Val got everything he wanted. He got everything he 57:13.050 --> 57:16.110 wanted. He's got his parents. He now knows his birth mother that 57:16.610 --> 57:19.830 he didn't know before. She's now in his life and he's gotten married and all 57:20.330 --> 57:24.130 this stuff. And I'm sure Senator Keeley is still campaigning on the 57:24.630 --> 57:28.590 Coalition for Moral Order's platform and has to pretend that his daughter 57:29.090 --> 57:31.910 isn't married to the son of gay people or something. I don't know how that 57:32.410 --> 57:35.830 works for him, but whatever. Senator Keeley was supposed to be like 60 at the 57:36.330 --> 57:39.570 time, 65 at the time. 30 years later, he's still in the Senate and he's 57:40.070 --> 57:44.264 still running for reelection this year. Very Jesse Helms-ish. Yep. Well, that's The Birdcage. 57:44.729 --> 57:47.839 That is The Birdcage. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I'll go ahead and give my rating 57:47.935 --> 57:49.970 first. I— look, I mean, like I said, I love this movie. This is a 57:50.470 --> 57:52.775 movie I have a ton of nostalgia for. It's a movie my wife loves as 57:52.839 --> 57:55.789 well, so she and I watch it, you know, on a fairly regular basis. 57:56.350 --> 57:59.892 Um, I think it's very funny. I think that for the most 58:00.392 --> 58:03.819 part, the, the, the sort of themes and stuff certainly hold up. Um, 58:03.979 --> 58:06.784 there's a— there are several uses of the F-slur, which is not something that I 58:07.284 --> 58:11.160 enjoy in movies, but they're used in every case as a self-description by 58:11.753 --> 58:15.315 queer characters. Yeah, it's not— it's much more 58:15.364 --> 58:19.022 of like, you know, watching Menace to Society. Yeah, it's like watching 58:19.134 --> 58:21.509 Menace to Society and they're using the N-word with each other all the time because 58:21.782 --> 58:24.895 that's the culture they're in. They're all in the in-group. Same kind of thing here. 58:24.991 --> 58:28.425 The F-slur is used only by the characters who kind of like can claim that 58:28.925 --> 58:31.634 word for themselves. Other than that, I don't think any of it like aged poorly 58:32.134 --> 58:35.325 outside of some like topical references that aren't really topical anymore because 58:35.825 --> 58:38.630 it's, you know, almost 30 years later. But it gives you a chance to Wikipedia 58:39.130 --> 58:42.545 some stuff. Yeah, they mentioned Mapplethorpe, Billy Graham, you know, they mentioned Jeb 58:43.045 --> 58:46.733 Bush. Jeb Bush is mentioned several times, you know, the young Kennedys. Like, there's a 58:47.233 --> 58:48.899 lot of things that kind of, you know, didn't age great in that sense, 58:48.979 --> 58:52.236 but what are you gonna do? It's a product of its time. I love this 58:52.332 --> 58:55.958 story outside of the Val part. I love the story as it pertains to 58:56.458 --> 59:00.258 parents doing what they feel like they, you know, kind of need to do 59:00.290 --> 59:03.033 or can do for their children and wanting to give them everything. Like, that part 59:03.533 --> 59:06.373 of it I love. Val is a hard person to root for, uh, so I 59:06.873 --> 59:09.731 don't. The movie to me is about— is about Armand and about Albert and in 59:09.763 --> 59:12.815 part about Barbara because she seems very sweet. We don't get any sense 59:13.315 --> 59:16.510 that she's, you know— I don't even get the sense that she's pushing Val to 59:17.010 --> 59:19.884 do this. It really feels like Val is setting up all of the sort of 59:20.384 --> 59:22.808 like things— let's be careful, let's be careful— seem to be coming more from him 59:22.856 --> 59:25.587 than from her. But maybe that's just— I'd rather think of it that way because 59:25.603 --> 59:28.302 I already don't like him. Yeah. Um, I'm a 4.5 out of 5 on The 59:28.318 --> 59:31.387 Birdcage. It's not a perfect movie, but it is so funny. I laughed my ass 59:31.887 --> 59:34.640 off through it again and again. This one that I know I've got, you know, 59:34.656 --> 59:37.893 a ton of nostalgia for, but I really do think it's, it's a really spectacular 59:37.941 --> 59:41.113 comedy. Uh, it's very heartfelt in a lot of, a lot of ways, 59:41.370 --> 59:44.398 uh, and it just produced several really laugh-out-loud scenes. 59:44.895 --> 59:48.035 Uh, and, and Hank Azaria is a wonderful treat. So yeah, I'm 4.5 59:48.535 --> 59:52.730 out of 5. All right, well, uh, yeah, so this is my first time 59:52.858 --> 59:55.422 seeing this movie, and like I try to do with a movie I haven't seen 59:55.922 --> 59:58.434 before, I'll watch it twice. I'll watch it once all the way through to just 59:58.934 --> 01:00:01.414 kind of get the feeling of it and then watch it again to, to get 01:00:01.914 --> 01:00:04.787 notes and everything like this. Um, I do want to say I relate to, 01:00:04.964 --> 01:00:08.314 uh, one part of this is, uh, my wife and I used to work with 01:00:08.814 --> 01:00:12.041 someone who was like a daughter of a Kevin Keeley type politician. 01:00:12.620 --> 01:00:15.367 Uh, he's not in the Senate, but he's in Congress now, and he's like a 01:00:15.431 --> 01:00:18.613 real, uh, piece of shit. Like ultra conservative, 01:00:18.661 --> 01:00:22.133 just whatever. She really could have used a 01:00:22.261 --> 01:00:25.638 dinner party at a drag queen couple's, uh, house. 01:00:26.289 --> 01:00:28.809 Like, she really needed to be exposed to that kind of shit because she sucked 01:00:29.309 --> 01:00:32.734 at it. She was terrible. So I'm in favor 01:00:32.831 --> 01:00:36.366 of, like, exposing people to this and realizing, you know, like, we're all the same 01:00:36.414 --> 01:00:38.190 and stuff. I definitely like that, 01:00:39.223 --> 01:00:42.422 that kind of feeling in a movie. 01:00:43.585 --> 01:00:45.686 So the first time I watched it, 01:00:47.695 --> 01:00:51.330 I didn't like it at all. Okay. I was really struggling and like, I wanted 01:00:51.830 --> 01:00:54.416 to— like, I like what it's about and I like the people in it, 01:00:54.529 --> 01:00:57.900 but I was just like, Nathan Lane is too annoying to me. I can't root 01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:01.781 for him. Val's sucks. Too bad. I can't root for him. Robin Williams 01:01:02.281 --> 01:01:04.975 is not being funny. I can't root, you know. Interesting. So I had a really, 01:01:04.991 --> 01:01:08.201 really hard time with it, uh, and I watched it the second time and I 01:01:08.701 --> 01:01:11.813 came around a bit on some of it. Like, I, I saw some more sweetness 01:01:12.313 --> 01:01:15.761 between, uh, Albert and Val and Albert and Armand, and I like 01:01:15.809 --> 01:01:19.646 that relationship a little bit more. Um, the Kevin Kiley character, 01:01:19.662 --> 01:01:23.257 I think, was— it's funny, like, his best work is telling 01:01:23.289 --> 01:01:26.531 his, like, meandering story. I think was, like, the best thing that, 01:01:26.660 --> 01:01:30.547 that he did. There. I think this movie didn't 01:01:31.047 --> 01:01:35.002 have as much comedy as I would have liked to have for 01:01:35.502 --> 01:01:38.782 something with Robin Williams in it. And I feel like it suffers a bit 01:01:39.282 --> 01:01:42.630 from the Mrs. Doubtfire curse. Interesting. Because some of the gags that they could have 01:01:42.646 --> 01:01:45.589 put in this movie that would have been funny, I think would have overlapped too 01:01:46.089 --> 01:01:48.799 much with stuff that happened in Doubtfire. Like if you were trying to have a 01:01:49.299 --> 01:01:52.893 scene like it, does Albert need to keep changing in and out of, you know, 01:01:53.054 --> 01:01:56.507 the outfit, stuff like that? I I mean, the montages of 01:01:56.539 --> 01:01:59.927 dressing up. It's just that this came out 2 years earlier or 3 years earlier. 01:02:00.056 --> 01:02:02.497 And like, there's a lot of things they'd be like, ah, this would be good 01:02:02.997 --> 01:02:06.512 in our movie. But they just did that. So all this is 01:02:06.576 --> 01:02:10.109 to say, I did have a tough time with this. And I 01:02:10.609 --> 01:02:14.445 came around on it a bit. It's not really like my type 01:02:14.945 --> 01:02:18.621 of film. Sure. It didn't have enough like punch 01:02:19.121 --> 01:02:22.122 as far as comedy for me. So I'm going to give The Birdcage a 2 01:02:22.218 --> 01:02:25.976 out of 5. But I want to be clear that this is just 01:02:26.476 --> 01:02:27.196 kind of specific to the type of movies that I generally like to see. 01:02:27.774 --> 01:02:30.552 There's a reason this movie made a lot of money. There's a reason this movie 01:02:30.568 --> 01:02:34.534 is very beloved. Um, it just didn't work for me very much. I'm just like 01:02:35.034 --> 01:02:38.789 trying to be honest about my experience of watching it. So, well, that's, that's where 01:02:39.289 --> 01:02:41.760 we're at for The Birdcage. Thank you, everybody. This is the final episode of Two 01:02:42.260 --> 01:02:46.047 Dads One Movie. We're never gonna— I'm kidding. No, no caveats necessary, 01:02:46.079 --> 01:02:49.563 man. We all have our own tastes, and, and this only ties the biggest 01:02:50.063 --> 01:02:52.978 gap between our scores, by the way. Okay, 2.5 is— we've done this a few 01:02:53.478 --> 01:02:56.825 times, so that's right. 6.5 out of 10 is the final score from the 2 01:02:57.325 --> 01:02:59.967 dads on The Birdcage, and I will accept that, uh, even though it is one 01:03:00.016 --> 01:03:03.382 of my favorite movies. It's not for everybody, obviously, and it— and it's— it's— 01:03:03.462 --> 01:03:06.508 I know that my nostalgia for it is a major factor in 01:03:07.008 --> 01:03:10.372 that, and that— and that's fine. So what are you bringing to the table next 01:03:10.872 --> 01:03:13.209 week, Nick? What are we gonna watch next week? Well, I, I know, uh, 01:03:13.722 --> 01:03:17.813 we've kind of been in the spirit of Like talking about groups 01:03:18.313 --> 01:03:22.245 of people in our country that have been historically mistreated and discriminated 01:03:22.745 --> 01:03:26.355 against. Yep. And my next movie touches on, I think, the group that 01:03:26.855 --> 01:03:29.935 is the most discriminated against in the history of our country—the troops. 01:03:30.272 --> 01:03:34.270 Okay, the troops. And we're gonna follow. I thought 01:03:34.770 --> 01:03:38.043 you were gonna say cops. That's true too. 01:03:39.007 --> 01:03:42.729 We are gonna follow a Vietnam veteran. veteran, uh, as he 01:03:43.018 --> 01:03:46.623 is kind of, you know, wandering the country, just making a life for himself, 01:03:46.639 --> 01:03:49.908 trying to visit his old friends. And he, uh, runs up against 01:03:50.408 --> 01:03:53.546 some very unpleasant police officers. We're gonna go to— 01:03:53.770 --> 01:03:57.312 I don't know if this is Washington or Oregon, somewhere Washington State— and, 01:03:57.376 --> 01:04:00.773 uh, spend some time with John Rambo as we, uh, 01:04:01.126 --> 01:04:04.411 as we check out First Blood. Nice. I have never 01:04:04.911 --> 01:04:08.380 seen First Blood. I'm well aware of, like, I'm super familiar with like basically the 01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:12.140 plotline, which there isn't a ton of. Like, it's not a convoluted storyline. It's a 01:04:12.640 --> 01:04:16.020 pretty basic setup. Yeah, I know that it's not, you know, that the later Rambo 01:04:16.520 --> 01:04:19.880 movies leaned so much harder into just the spectacle of the action. Yes, First Blood 01:04:20.380 --> 01:04:22.320 was like meant to be a little more, you know, there's supposed to be like 01:04:22.820 --> 01:04:24.800 a dude or whatever. Yeah, you know, kind of thing. Yeah, so I'm looking forward 01:04:25.300 --> 01:04:26.800 to that. But yeah, I've never actually seen it. I just know, I know Brian 01:04:27.300 --> 01:04:29.680 Dennehy, he's a piece of shit, and I know that John Rambo fucks shit up. 01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:32.640 So yeah, well, that's, that's what I'm going in with. Made in heaven, 01:04:33.140 --> 01:04:36.915 baby. Exactly. All right, so next week we will watch First That's a 01:04:37.415 --> 01:04:40.014 wrap. If you like what you hear, please consider heading over to Apple or Spotify 01:04:40.046 --> 01:04:43.323 and leaving us a 5-star review. It helps new folks find the show. Be sure 01:04:43.823 --> 01:04:46.791 to check out our website at twodads1movie.com. That's the number 2 and the number 1. 01:04:47.230 --> 01:04:50.594 There you can explore the movies we've covered, sign up for our newsletter, The Rewind, 01:04:50.659 --> 01:04:53.901 and even get sneak previews of upcoming episodes. Once again, this has 01:04:53.934 --> 01:04:57.262 been The Birdcage, another episode of 2 Dads 1 Movie. I'm Steve. 01:04:57.343 --> 01:04:59.860 And I'm Nic. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll catch you next week. 01:05:00.023 --> 01:05:00.234 Thanks,