The Fly (1986)

A scientist teleports a baboon inside out, and somehow that’s the thing that gets the romance going. Welcome to David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986), the third stop on Shocktoberfest and Nic’s pick. He caught chunks of it on TV as a kid (one arm-wrestling match in particular never left him) and wanted a proper Frankenstein-style monster movie with Jeff Goldblum front and center. Steve, a haunted house, possession and slasher guy, had never seen it and admits he’d been dodging it on purpose. Body horror is not his jam. The dads’ advice for first-timers: eat two hours before, nothing until two hours after, and keep a Dixie cup of water nearby.

Before the goo even starts, they get stuck on names. Nobody can get past a smarmy ex-boyfriend magazine editor named Stathis (Nic offers his respects to every Stathis listening, then just switches to “editor guy”), and Steve has a theory that “Brundle” was picked purely so “Brundlefly” would work later. Stathis also gets dragged for hanging onto the key to Ronnie’s apartment and for a Maserati with a vanity plate that just says PARTICLE, which sends Nic into a public service announcement about job security. Do not get your employer tattooed on your body, folks.

From there it’s a steady stream of grievances. Nic wants to know why Seth went straight to baboons when rats exist, and Steve points out a goldfish would have done the job. Steve realizes the telepod guessing its way through rebuilding a steak is basically how AI works. Seth punches chunks out of what is very clearly a load-bearing beam, which Nic notes is a great way to get a girl to stay. Nic shares the story of Mel Brooks producing the movie without a credit, so random that Steve honestly couldn’t tell if it was a bit. And the wives check out entirely: Nic’s wife Jeanie suddenly gets very into her crossword puzzle, while Steve’s wife Heather swears she’s seen The Fly and absolutely has not.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. And maybe skip lunch.